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Our grandbaby girl, baby A, was born last night, stillborn.

Faith-manor

By Faith-manor,
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Faith-manor
Faith-manor

I am just gutted. I don't know how to comfort my daughter and son in law. (This daughter is not officially ours but would have been had she been available for adoption.) We are Marmee and Papa Mark to

Faith-manor
Faith-manor

I am at a rest area eating a little something. Not much appetite, but I need to stay alert. Thank you all so much. The Hive is always so supportive! Baby A is covered by medicaid because tho

Calm37
Calm37

One of the things I remember most about losing my son, Joshua, over 27 years ago this fall is that my mom came from CA and stayed with me. I remember shopping at an antique store with her at one point

kbutton

kbutton

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I am so sorry to hear this sad news for all of you. Be careful driving.

 

If they look into causes, antiphospholipid syndrome should be on the short list. It's an autoimmune clotting disorder; some people experience issues with pregnancy loss, and for some of those folks, clotting isn't an issue outside of pregnancy. There are treatments with a good track record.

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Faith-manor

Faith-manor

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I am at a rest area eating a little something. Not much appetite, but I need to stay alert.

Thank you all so much. The Hive is always so supportive!

Baby A is covered by medicaid because though her parents work full time, they do not have employer provided health insurance. The hospital billing department said Medicaid will not pay for any testing to find out the cause. They have had two miscarriages prior to losing A. I strongly suspect a clotting issue potential, and I think it is vital that they get answers. I am so tired of our effed up excuse of patchwork, chaos, for profit "healthcare". They are having her cremated to save money for testing, but must get the cash to the hospital asap for it to happen. Mark sent them a lump sum, enough to satisfy the hospital, and then Mark and I will send more. Our sons and daughter are contributing as well for their little niece. Hopefully, we can pull enough together to get it all done. It is ridiculous that in a country this rich, people hate others so much, they are unwilling to change the system to cover things like this. The United States of America needs to hang its head in abject shame.

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WildflowerMom

WildflowerMom

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@Faith-manor, see if she can be tested for protein s deficiency.  I just was dx’d today.   The severest form affects babies and is genetic from both parents.  Hth.    
again, many hugs… 💛💛

by “she” I mean mom.  I know baby won’t be tested, but mom might be able to be tested.  

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cintinative

cintinative

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5 minutes ago, Faith-manor said:

. They are having her cremated to save money for testing, but must get the cash to the hospital asap for it to happen. Mark sent them a lump sum, enough to satisfy the hospital, and then Mark and I will send more. Our sons and daughter are contributing as well for their little niece. Hopefully, we can pull enough together to get it all done. It is ridiculous that in a country this rich, people hate others so much, they are unwilling to change the system to cover things like this. The United States of America needs to hang its head in abject shame.

This charity provides help with funeral expenses depending on the state. https://thetearsfoundation.org/services/

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cintinative

cintinative

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@Faith-manorThis website has a list with more charities that help with infant death funeral costs.

They might not have the emotional bandwidth, and I totally understand that.

http://littlelovefoundation.blogspot.com/p/resources-financial-assistance-for.html

The link was broken for this one. Fixing it. 

https://angelnames.org/support.html#forfamiliesanchor

SEOLE  

The Securing End-of-Life Expenses (SEOLE), pronounced “soul,” program provides assistance with autopsy, funeral, burial and cremation expenses. Funding is sent to the service provider (i.e. funeral home). Families complete a brief “REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE” form and submit an itemized invoice/estimate from the service provider.

Edited by cintinative
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KidsHappen

KidsHappen

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(((Faith))) I am so sorry you and your family are going through this. My mother had a baby one year after I was born that only lived for an hour and that affected me for most of my childhood. I also had an employee who had a full term stillborn baby and some of the ways in which she processed her grief were very difficult for others in her life. I guess all this to say be prepared for the fact that the effects can be far reaching and long lasting. Wishing you the strength you need to both grieve yourself and help your dd.

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Guest

Guest

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I am so, so sorry to hear this, Faith. As an "angel baby Mama", I still remember that pain so well, even twenty years later. I am certain you don't have to have the "perfect" thing to say; actually, in most cases the less said the better. To me, the most precious thing was just those few people who could sit with me when I was just a shattered shell of a person, who did not need me to buck up or be "better". 

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Arcadia

Arcadia

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1 hour ago, WildflowerMom said:

@Faith-manor, see if she can be tested for protein s deficiency.  I just was dx’d today.   The severest form affects babies and is genetic from both parents.  Hth.    
again, many hugs… 💛💛

by “she” I mean mom.  I know baby won’t be tested, but mom might be able to be tested.  

Folic acid deficiency is another factor. My first obgyn tested for that.
 My doctors typically run comprehensive metabolic panel as well as complete blood count since it’s the same blood draw (CBC for  anemic monitoring) so I knew my protein levels were on the low side. Salmon is helpful for folic, iron, protein, etc and luckily my parents helped pay.

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sweet2ndchance

sweet2ndchance

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(((Faith-Manor and family))) I also had a stillborn baby in 2015. Agreeing with others that sometimes nothing needs to be said, just being there is enough.

I was also on medicaid when I lost my baby. And you are absolutely correct, it is deplorable that they will not pay for testing of any kind in this circumstance. We wanted testing and were told that we could pay out of pocket for it but through a series of screw ups, the hospital "lost" our baby! It happens more often than you would think. I'll let you google if you are interested in learning more about it. Just stay on top of the hospital though if you want testing!!!! Make them keep you in the loop. I know exactly how hard it is in those first few surreal days but not knowing what happened is even harder. Unfortunately, we will never know what happened to our baby and I don't want that to happen to you and your family. Keep bugging the hospital until you get answers. I wish I had.

I wish you and your family the best of luck in your search for answers and sending plenty of hugs and positive thoughts in the mean time. (((Faith-Manor)))

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ktgrok

ktgrok

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I am so sorry, and wil say prayers for your family. I know you want to be strong for them, but will remind you that it is also ok to let them see you grieve with them. The only thing worse than grieving is grieving alone and feeling alone in your feelings. Even your sadness will bring some comfort. 

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