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Terabith last won the day on February 14

Terabith had the most liked content!

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About Terabith

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee
  • Birthday 05/02/1976

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    Roanoke, VA

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  1. My youngest is almost 16, and I still miss it, too.
  2. My father marched in the sanitation workers' strike with MLK right before he died. He was teaching sociology at Memphis State at the time while going to grad school, and he came to the strike from work and carried his briefcase filled with heavy textbooks in the march. While marching, he was chased by a police officer down an alley. The cop moved to hit my father with a billy club, and my dad blocked the hit with the briefcase, swung his briefcase as hard as he could at the officer's crotch, and ran like the wind out of the alley, hurdling over a fence at the end, ran back to his car, and d
  3. I agree, not quite equals yet. But far more your equal than they were at ten. I was really surprised, genuinely, how organically and naturally but REALLY dramatically my parenting shifted around age 12. I feel like I did majorly intensive, hard core, hours and hours of hands on parenting up through about age ten or so, but by 12, it just doesn't feel at all the same. They're not my equals, but they are in some ways, and it's much more of a roommate relationship than the kind of parenting relationship we had when they were young. I mean, world's crappiest roommates, that I have to dr
  4. Yeah, I'm not saying the dichotomy is clean room or relationship. I'm using clean room as a proxy for control. With teens, you have to give them some areas of their lives that they alone are responsible for. Where that line in varies by family and even by kid.
  5. Of course they're not fully grown at 13 or 14 or 15. But you have to decide: do I want to have a relationship with my teens where I am constantly guiding and motivating them and controlling what they do, or do I want to have a relationship with them where they talk to me? By and large, you cannot have both. If you want to have a relationship where they come to you with hard stuff, you have to treat them as equals, even if they aren't fully cooked yet. Because they are growing into fully cookedness, and they are hurt and offended if you do not treat them, if not necessarily as equals,
  6. It IS really, really, really hard to live with people with anxiety. It is also really, really, really hard to be the people with anxiety. Having been on both sides of the fence with this, I have massive empathy for all of you. Hugs!
  7. I think there is a big difference between "having the skills to keep their room tidy" and choosing whether or not to do so. It's important that teens have the skills to have tidy rooms. This can be cultivated when they are younger or by helping clean communal parts of the house. I actually know very few teens who are completely unable to clean rooms. I know lots who don't have the skills to KEEP rooms clean or who get overwhelmed by the process of doing so. Whether or not they actually keep their rooms tidy or not is a matter of choice and priorities, and I do think it's impor
  8. See, I see rebelling against power struggles as equally valid. I mean, teens need to differentiate themselves. Rebelling by having untidy rooms or not practicing clarinet seem like pretty safe ways to rebel.
  9. My youngest teen's room is a disaster area. There's no food or anything, and the door is always closed in order to keep the cats out, after they peed on her floor. However, she knows where everything is, and if you try to clean it up, she gets incredibly anxious. A year or so ago we realized that her floor clutter is not random. It is deliberately designed so that if someone doesn't know where stuff is, they will trip over it and wake her up. Her messy room is actually full of monster/ burglar traps. I mean, it's not a huge problem, but her personal issue (I know intellectually it's irra
  10. @BaseballandHockey tells me people will think I'm lying about the spinach if I don't include a link. This seems like the kind of things scientists should watch more movies to learn about why their folly will destroy the world. https://www.euronews.com/living/2021/02/01/scientists-have-taught-spinach-to-send-emails-and-it-could-warn-us-about-climate-change
  11. Have you guys read about the spinach that scientists taught to send emails? My plants need that. Water me! No, not that much! Too much sun! Stop looking at me!
  12. It definitely can. So much depends upon the instructor. But I think it can be really excellent.
  13. International Culinary Arts? I don't know, but that sounds fantastic and delicious! I hope you'll share some of your favorite recipes!
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