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About lovinmyboys

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    Hive Mind Level 2 Worker: Nurse Bee

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  1. Thanks for starting this thread! Meals this week are pork chops, chicken fried rice, chicken pot pie, and chicken with roasted veggies. It is a lot of chicken, but next week we will do something different. Our grocery store had honey crisp apples for only 97 cents!
  2. So, kind of an update, dh is going to have a busy October after all. At least we got it all on the calendar on Saturday. I was feeling pretty good. Then he left Sunday morning and I started feeling overwhelmed again. Two kids had baseball tournaments and one a soccer tournament. I was dropping kids off and picking them up from 11-6. Meanwhile, the other kids were at home alone. They are safe and fine doing it, but I feel guilty that they spent a Sunday afternoon home by themselves. In the evening, I made apple pie with ds11 and we all played a game. Tonight one kid has soccer and one has flag football and they are at the exact same time. So, again the guilt, because one is going to have to miss. One Monday I hired a babysitter and two mondays ds13 stayed with ds7 at soccer. Ds13 has stuff to do tonight and I don’t want to hire someone again. I also don’t love our evening routine when I am alone. It used to work, but there is just way too much on me. I think I used to be able to do it all because I wasn’t driving the kids so much. It isn’t hard to drive, but I am also not home to clean the kitchen or supervise it or do other evening tasks. So, here is what I figured out last night, while I should have been sleeping. I am going to do school with ds7 and ds9 and stop at lunchtime everyday for awhile. I am going to try to take the afternoon to get things done-move some of the evening stuff to this time. And I am going to talk to my kids about stepping up and being a little more responsible for themselves. I am going to make checklists, so some of the delegating and overseeing I do can be done by the checklists. Finally, I am going to try to get rid of the guilt. My kids have a good life and I am doing my best. The guilt is not helping anyone. Oh, I am also going back to having everyone in their rooms by 9:00. I feel like I can do just about anything during the day as long as I know there is an end time. I thought of one more thing. I really love “fun” homeschooling, but I just don’t have the time to invest in it. I am just going back to the basics and getting it done for now. The “fun” will just be easy-read aloud, play games, put the watercolors out and let them paint whatever, bake with them and read poetry while we eat. Pinterest and instagram can inspire me sometimes, but right now I think they just make me feel guilty.
  3. I still have my bump although it doesn’t hurt anymore. It is most obvious when I sit in a chair so my leg is bent. I’m not sure if it presents differently in different people, but my right knee has an obvious bump compared to my left knee even now.
  4. I had Osgood as a kid. I got it at age 12, so he is in the right age group for it. As I remember it, it seemed to come on overnight. My bump was pretty obvious though. And very tender to touch.
  5. I talked to dh last night. Some of my feelings really are just being tired of doing it all by myself. The last 4-5 years have been pretty good in that we had money for outsourcing and I had a good support system with friends, but I was still mostly solo parenting day to day. And now I am just tired of it. He said that after next week, he really doesn’t think he will be traveling that much for the foreseeable future. He thought he put Tuesday night’s travel in the calendar, so that was just an oversight. And the one night travel later this month he just didn’t put in the calendar yet. He said his “optional” travel is travel he has to do at some point and he just thought he would get it all out of the way at once. I told him next time, I would like some say in it if it is flexible. Also, I told him that if he knows he has a heavier travel schedule, he has to give up some of his personal activities for a time. He has season tickets to the nfl team near here, and he has been taking one son each game. But now they have all been and he was making plans to go with friends/other family. I don’t mind him having that time usually, but I am just over him being gone all week, then gone 10 hours on Sundays. Plus, he plays ice hockey one night a week. It isn’t really that much, but he agreed to take off hockey until the first of the year and sell a few games of tickets. He rides his bike to work, so he is still getting exercise and if he wants more exercise he can take the boys to the y and work out with them. I also told him that being the only one on call day after day is draining and that I need to be able to say that. When I feel like I do now, we have to figure out something to take off my plate. It was good to talk to him. This whole thing made me realize how little we talk. It is so hard to make time for it.
  6. Twice I have had kids limp for no discernible reason. Once, it was a 4yr old who would not put weight on one leg for 3 days. Looking back, I probably should have taken him in, but we were on vacation and I didn’t really want an ER bill unless it was necessary. Anyway, he quit limping and it was fine. Then, this spring, my ds7 limped for two weeks. He kept insisting that nothing hurt. I took him in and the dr didn’t find anything. He did eventually stop limping. It was kind of a gradual stop. Anyway, I know your son is older, but I think sometimes weird things happen to kids bodies. If he isn’t in pain that makes him miserable, I would wait a day or two to take him in. If he seems like it is really bothering him even with pain medicine, I would take him today.
  7. This is exactly why I haven’t really talked to him about it.
  8. Another change is that the kids are getting older and they miss him more. Part of my frustration was my 13yr old was all upset that dh was out of town this week. It was kind of weird because dh was pretty much gone all spring and ds didn’t complain then. I feel like ds took it out on me and there is nothing I can do about it.
  9. I think part of the problem is that I have no community here yet. I don’t know babysitters or people to carpool with. I am just doing everything by myself. The last couple of places we lived, I had a great community so I didn’t really depend on dh. Now, I am more alone. And with him gone, it has been hard to meet people. I just drop kids off and pick them up at their activities. I am rarely ever able to stay at their baseball and soccer games to even meet people to carpool. Maybe if I just ask him to try to cut way back for a few months until we get settled. We do share an apple calendar. I’m not sure why some of this travel gets on it and other trips don’t.
  10. Dh has always worked a lot and traveled. He is in the army reserves and has been deployed several times. Our oldest child is 13, so we have been at this for awhile. I have had threads about it. We are obviously still figuring it out. Right now, I feel like I am emotionally out of sorts because we moved recently and that has been hard, so I don’t know if I am seeing the situation clearly. I could use some help. Dh started this new job in July and has traveled 6 out of the 13 weeks. I was told he would “rarely” be traveling. This week he was out of town one night and he didn’t tell me or put it on the calendar. It was all fine and the kids and I had a good night together. But, I got irritated for two reasons. First, he didn’t tell me until that literal day. And second, I found out that he didn’t necessarily have to go. He was out of town all last week and will be again next week. I just feel like he should give me a heads up before the day of and I should get some say in non essential travel. I am just tired of it all. Then, I found out today that his brother is coming up this weekend. I think he invited himself and dh didn’t want to say no, but again, he didn’t tell me until the day after he found out. And I don’t really want him to come because dh will be gone all next week and I just want a normal life occasionally. So dh has been telling me that next week is his last trip on the calendar. Today I asked if he could take off a certain morning later this month so I can have a procedure done. Turns out, he is going to be out of town. I am just so frustrated by the whole thing, but I don’t think dh understands at all why. It is making me think I am just being ridiculous. I think part of the problem is that I have always been the primary parent and dh has always worked a lot, so it has just been normal for him to be unavailable. When he got this job, I assumed things were changing, but I don’t think he had the same assumption. I guess the obvious thing is to make clear to dh that once he finds out about something outside of normal business hours or learns he is traveling, I want it on the calendar. I’m also wondering if I can tell dh I am sort of over the optional travel. Dh always tells me how happy he is and it makes his life so much easier because I don’t complain about his hours like some other spouses do, but every time I think I should complain more so it quits happening.
  11. I think I enjoy having older kids and I will enjoy the teens. I just felt more confident with little kids. Plus, at least in hindsight, it seems harder to mess up with little kids. Just love them and read to them and take them outside and they should be ok. All this teen stuff seems more life changing.
  12. About high school classes...the schools here are very good, but they do encourage a study hall. He has to choose his classes soon because he is going to a brand new high school and they are trying to figure out staffing. I think he is very smart and capable, so want him taking challenging classes. On the other hand, I do like a study hall so he has more free time in the evenings. I want him to be challenged, but also not overloaded. He is going to do college prep-for sure the science, math, foreign language. I’m thinking for his freshman year I might encourage him to do some honors classes, but then have some easier ones too? I think it is good for kids this age to be productive/engaged, but one of the reasons I homeschooled was to give plenty of free time. I also enjoy spending time with him and with him and the whole family. I really am not ready for him to be busy from morning until bedtime, but I also want him prepared for adulthood. I think school and academics are important, but I also don’t want high school to be exclusively about getting into a good college. I want him to have a life outside of school too.
  13. He has always been a good kid and fairly easy to parent, but since he is my oldest, every new stage seems big and intimidating. Now that he is older, I definitely don’t want him to notice that I am nervous about teens or whatever.
  14. Yes this is a big part of it. We had planned to send our kids to school in high school, but we moved this summer and he wanted to go ahead and go in 8th grade. It made sense for him, but it has been hard on me. I’m trying to work that out on my own because it doesn’t have anything to do with him.
  15. I hate birthday parties for this reason! I had a sleepover with the boys from my sons baseball team one time. No one RSVPed and I was so stressed, but then the whole team came, so who knows maybe they will all show up. I am not the most organized person and I have my faults, but I try to rsvp as soon as possible to birthdays.
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