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About Jaybee

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  1. 😐 The video embedded is worth watching, imo, especially as referring to masking.
  2. Grilled hamburgers and hot dogs Grilled corn on the cob Veggies with dip Watermelon (probably later in the afternoon) Ice cream and maybe brownies or cake to go with it
  3. Makes perfect sense to me. In spite of what others may think of my comments above, I really am not in favor of the "good ol' boys" club system.
  4. I certainly don't mean it as offensive. But I have seen people turn situations that were totally innocent into something sordid and fodder for rumors and gossip, so I understand why any person, male or female, minister or not, who was concerned about that, would be cautious. I don't think there is anything wrong with the kinds of interactions you are talking about above. Sometimes the job requires it. But I can also understand why some would want to avoid the 1:1, and it doesn't always have to do with the possibility/potential of their own uncontrolled passions. I recognize that many don't see that and think it's some kind of old-fashioned misogynistic nonsense, but I think, especially in some kinds of occupations where an assumption (in error or not) can destroy people, ministries, careers, etc., some caution in these areas can be wisdom.
  5. @Dreamergal, I don't think it applies to American Christianity alone, but to American culture in general (and I have lived in other cultures where it was common to always think the worst), that people like to tear down others. Rumors and gossip are common all over the world. In one country where we lived, I was shocked to learn that because an elderly man ate lunch sometimes at his nephew's and niece's (niece by marriage), and sometimes the nephew wasn't there, gossip was that he bought them a new oven because he was having an affair with the woman. I read it as he wanted to help them out because they watched out for him and cared for him. Perhaps it is experiences like that that cause me to be more cautious. Like I said, I've never been in a situation where I had to worry about it myself.
  6. Exactly. I added an edit to my post as well. And the bolded--It doesn't mean that they think they would throw themselves on the bed with a person of the opposite sex just because they were there. "Avoiding the appearance of evil" is biblical. It can just as easily be seen as a way to respect your spouse and protect the honor of your marriage, but it seems that rather than honorable, in this thread, it is seen as weak and repulsive, attributing mal-intent to something that is not. My dh and I are similar to yours in how we handle this, I believe. Though honestly, neither of us is in a position with our work to have to make decisions that would affect our work--it would be more thought weird in our circumstances if we felt we had to have a lunch or dinner with only one person over work. Group lunches are not weird, because we work more in groups. So I guess it has never come up. We did have a couple of situations when we were living overseas and had young women working with us that were under dh's supervision, where he made sure there was nothing that could be considered questionable. But that was as much to protect the young women's reputations as anything, because he knew how it could be viewed by others in those cultures.
  7. Uh, wow. Very much a misunderstanding of what I was trying to express. As to the bold, I was not in any way excusing the true infidelities of evangelists or blaming them solely on the women. I was just stating that those infidelities happened. Which meant that people, like Graham, who were trying to uphold their reputations were extra-cautious to not give anyone cause to suspect them of it by making sure there were always others around and they would be considered above reproach. Nothing like what you are assuming from this. As to your response to the red, consider how the media on both sides twists things all the time to say what they want to say, with text, photos, videos, etc. It is easy to be ruined these days by people who would want to pull you down whether you have done anything wrong or not. I'm heading to work and don't have time right now to answer more thoroughly, but I don't understand the outrage and feelings being so strong that he did wrong in this. ETA: Context matters as to the true situation. But again, people who want to think the worst can twist things however they want. And others are often all too happy to believe them. If Graham had been maligned like that, there would have been many who would have said, "See there? All Christians are alike, just hypocrites, and what they preach doesn't mean a thing." And that would have, in Graham's thinking (if I understand correctly), maligned the Gospel, which he loved and gave his life to.
  8. I have a vague memory of reading of Billy Graham's policies from his own writing. It wasn't as it is being presented here. In those days, it was not unusual (I guess it's still true today) for famous evangelists' ministries to be completely lost, their reputations ruined, their Christian testimonies thrown away, through infidelities. These things could also potentially happen through compromising-appearing photographs, lies told by someone wanting personal attention, or any number of ways caused by people wanting to ruin or bring down someone like him. I heard a well-known Christian man whose name you would all recognize tell of one time a woman wanted her picture taken with him. He posed with her, as a friendly gesture, and at the last second, she opened her coat to reveal...much of herself. It was all a ruse to compromise his reputation. When you understand that there are people out there like that who want to ruin people like these men, it makes the policies they hold make a lot more sense.
  9. On the tangential topic 😄, we have had a very varied life, and in the process, I learned a lot of street smarts. I wouldn't say I am hypervigilant, but I am certainly aware. I tell myself that it isn't worry, but rather preparation, lol. Interestingly, when my father died, I was much more prepared than my siblings, because I had thought through the scenarios every single time we left to go overseas. ETA: One effect of this mindset is that there is little that surprises me. So with our children, we have tried to emphasize that they can come to us with anything. We have seen a lot, and so while we hope for the best and encourage them to strive for that, we recognize our own potential for failure in one aspect or another. We have high ideals and expectations for them, but can also come alongside with commiseration and understanding when they don't reach our or their own expectations. Doesn't mean we wouldn't be disappointed, but we also won't hit the roof. We do sincerely pray for them, because this world can be hard.
  10. Ain't that the truth!! Perspective is a powerful thing.
  11. Right. I would be mad at dh if he didn't help a woman in that situation! But he would, because he's that kind of a man. As to the first paragraph Quill just wrote, it made me laugh too, and think, "And I always thought that meant I was a pessim...realist!" Because I nearly always think through all the scenarios. It helps me handle life with its bumps better when I know I have. (Though I never have explored the infidelity angle with it beyond that we are fallible--and I won't.)
  12. Depending on personalities (are they the flirty type?), that scenario--something like lawyers or CPAs with their own clients--wouldn't bother me near as much as the picture I had of them starting a business of a different kind from the ground up together.
  13. Yes. I'm not worried, and dh has no reason to worry either. However, when you have been married as long as we have, you have times when everything is not sunshine and roses. It helps to have boundaries (mentally and emotionally, as well as otherwise) that you have determined you won't cross. I haven't ever worried about dh having a physical affair. There has been a time or two when I was concerned he might be tempted (mildly) emotionally--not because he is weak or any such thing, because he is not, but because we were having some struggles we needed to work through. It helped me when I was feeling vulnerable to know that he was respectful of our relationship in ways that would give it priority and protection. He isn't a flirt, but he is certainly a good guy that would be easy for others to be attracted to.
  14. Just wanted to jump back in and say that I'm not sure the gorgeousness of either woman has a lot to do with it. It might make me feel more self-conscious or insecure about my own lack thereof, but it's the intimacy of the close working relationship, and the closeness that accomplishing things together can bring, that would make me more concerned, whether it were myself or him. I do agree on the loyalty statements others have made; dh is loyal in every area of his life, a very strong trait of his.
  15. I would be bothered. I'm not gorgeous by any stretch of the imagination, but it's more than that. Dh and I have a great relationship and have been married a very long time. However, I recognize my own temptations in the area (not so much now, but when I was younger), in spite of having a good strong relationship. It's easy to start feeling dissatisfied, or wonder what it would be like if things were different, etc. I don't think any of us are above temptation, and don't really understand it when others don't see danger points that are so clear to me. It doesn't feel to me so much like a lack of trust, as it does it recognizing that even our most highly esteemed heroes are human and vulnerable to temptation.
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