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About Jaybee

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    Hive Mind Worker Bee

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  1. Skechers has some nicer (not sneakers) shoe models that our boys liked. They are comfy and not quite as expensive as some brands.
  2. On the algebra issue, we've been in a variety of schooling situations over the years. While I know it's been trending that way, none of my kids took Algebra I in 8th grade (I don't think--it's possible one dd did), including my two still at home. In hindsight, I am glad they didn't. That extra year gave them a better understanding. Now, none of my kids have gone to an Ivy League for undergrad, but none of them have suffered either, and had no problems with entry into a good decent university or their courses there, except for my oldest, and that was late in his college career--and had nothing to do with academics--more to do with other things going on in his life. My most mathy/sciency child is now in an Ivy League for grad school and doing well. Of my four older kids, one has a master's degree, one is halfway through, and one is thinking about it. The other is happy currently with her BSN.
  3. She's so cute. I like Whimsy, but she also looks like a Daisy to me.
  4. Yes. Sadly, I have a ds who, at least at this period in time, doesn't seem to feel accepted or loved. We've made mistakes, sure, but we work very hard to try to make him realize how much we love and care for him. It's like loving a brick wall. Recently, I lost it with him a little bit and told him that we love him, we want a good relationship with him, and we want him to feel like he belongs. But we can't do it all ourselves--he has to take some responsibility and make some efforts too. It hurts us sometimes, but our main concern is that he's carrying around these feelings of...whatever it is, when it isn't necessary, because we see his gifts, we see what a great kid he is, we are NOT wishing he were like his brother or other siblings, etc. ETA: I didn't share with him that it hurts us sometimes and ff, but I did share with him that we see his gifts and ff.
  5. Jaybee


    Thanks, all. We aren't panicking or anything, just wanted to be proactive. The ticks are tiny, but I dropped them by the extension office, and should hear next week what kind they are (he found more, so there were five). That way, if he has a reaction, we will know the most likely direction to pursue. They were so small that pictures don't help, because I can't tell what they look like--but my sight isn't the best anyway. The attached ones were only on him for a few hours, so hopefully he won't have any problems. We don't have any pets, and the ticks were not from our yard. We also do not live in a tick disease-prone area, so that is also in our favor--but I didn't know that until after I had posted. He went back to work at the same place today, but sprayed his clothes well beforehand. He knows what to look for now, as far as watching for any reaction, etc. Again, thanks all.
  6. I've never been there, but a couple of friends on the east coast took a trip to Iceland for about three days. Flights were cheap, they rented a car, and had a blast. Lots of interesting natural areas.
  7. Jaybee


    I called the county health department, who referred me to a nearby university extension office. They said they could identify the type of tick for me (I can't tell), but can't test. They said testing would likely be very expensive, so we won't go that route. We are new in this area, and haven't seen even one tick before now, so it wasn't on my radar as far as prevention sprays. It is now, though, and he knows to go prepared next time.
  8. Jaybee

    Ticks ds was doing yard work at a property this morning (he works sometimes for a realtor), and came home with quite a few ticks. I wasn't here, but he was able to brush most of them off. We have two in a ziploc, and he is currently removing two more. Our local primary care doctor's office doesn't know anything about what to do with them. Where do we take the ticks to be tested?
  9. Honestly, I don't think I really want a bigger house. Ours is sufficient and very cozy/comfortable. But I suppose some of that is related to finances, so...if that didn't matter, I'd like a guest room with it's own bath--mainly for our adult kids to have when they visit. And I'd like a library/music room with some comfy seating, lots of windows, and maybe a corner nook where I could put a nice treadmill without its being too blatantly in the way.
  10. In agreement with the others as to asking them their preferences. The rehearsal dinners in our family have been low-key and a lot of fun. One, we had catered at the church fellowship hall by a bbq place. That was the largest wedding and wedding party, but still only cost us about $350 for everybody. We played CDs of love songs from the past in the background. Second one, the groom's parents brought hoagie supplies and reserved a pavilion at a local park. Fun and relaxed. Third, the groom's parents had everybody over to their house for...I think Italian food prepared by a restaurant. For that one, there wasn't an actual rehearsal because it was a very simple family wedding in a state park, but the parents wanted to have a get-together of the two families beforehand.
  11. Am I the only one thinking that maybe a printed copy of this included in that nicely prepared lunch for tomorrow is not a bad idea?
  12. A counselor cat would provide dual benefits. Of course, with summer coming, you'd have to take the cat for a few months.
  13. Having lived for a long time in a culture that this situation could easily be describing, I'd have to agree with J-rap. My understanding of the way things work in that country don't make the typical red flags pop up. It doesn't mean he's ashamed of her or anything like that, it may mean that he is trying to determine the best ways to work through a complicated cultural issue, within a culture where everybody tends to be in each others' business when it comes to setting up a marriage. I do like the idea mentioned above of a man-to-man talk between your dh and the young man. Respect for elders is probably a big deal in his culture. My real concerns would be more the kinds of issues that I would bring up if any of my children wanted to marry cross-culturally. I know many couples who do, and that in itself is not a problem. But I wouldn't want my children blindly assuming that cultural differences wouldn't play a big role in how their day-to-day marriage played out. Things like religious beliefs and practices, the marriage "roles" and view of women, child-rearing, sanctity of the marriage relationship, integrity and honesty in the workplace and in relationships, family responsibilities toward elders, holiday celebrations, and so on.
  14. Your second paragraph resonates a lot with me in our present location. It isn't that I am polar opposite--I'm not. But there are oh so many issues on which I have a least a different angle/perspective, and I find myself watching my tongue (not a bad thing in itself), and often thinking, "If they knew what I really think, they might kick me out of the room." It can be rather exhausting at times, because I have to judge whether a comment here or there will help them grow in thinking things through, or will only ostracize me. I am trying to learn to focus on the things that I can learn from them; for example, they (generality, I know) tend to be more generous with their time and efforts on others' behalf than I am. ETA: Just thinking about this--I would be more comfortable, of course, being in a place where political discussions were not even a thing, where the environment was straight along the lines of what I believe. However, that isn't even so among my immediate family, lol. If I lived in an area where the majority viewpoint was the opposite as where I live, I would still be uncomfortable. Perhaps because, as stated several times above, so many people these days assume you believe the same way they do, so they don't enter into thoughtful discussion--just assumptions or battering the other side. I would prefer to be able to reasonably discuss the nuances.
  15. Though there are exceptions on both sides, it seems to me that the change is in the "hopefulness" of the story. So many of the newer books seem to leave you in a bleaker place.
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