For me, having watched my fil die over 2 years and my mom over the course of 5 years, yes. This would be nice.

You know this already but nothing you can say will help. “I’m thinking/praying about you a lot.” ”this is so hard. I love you guys.” ask the caregiver how they’re handling all this. Ask them what they need. And have lots of conversations that don’t revolve around illness. When my fil was dying it seemed like all anyone wanted to talk about was cancer.

I like the dark brown. It looks great. Very classic.

So most years i dread Christmas. So I’d procrastinate the stuff I didn’t like doing—shopping for extended family that I don’t know well hacks me off. (Obligatory giving is frustrating) however...it’s my dhs family and it’s not going away. And my dh won’t rock that boat. I dislike decorating the Christmas tree. Anyway last year I made it a point to NOT procrastinate the stuff I disliked. And amazingly having most of it out of the way early in the season helped my attitude. I still had to go visit extended family which can be a hassle, but that is what it is. Anyway for me, I know that each year will bring some not so fun tings and I just need to get over it and get them done, rather than continuing to grumble over it.

Is there something negative about it that brings you down? Really I think it’s too early to get excited for Christmas before thanksgiving.

I really do have sweet memories of Christmas cards, mostly about my grandparents and my mother. My grandparents were born in 1912, grew up in the Great Depression and didn't have my mom till they were in their 40s. So mail was their way of communication with far flung people and Christmas cards were a thing for them. They opened each one with a letter opener and told who it was from. Then they'd quietly read the line or two (hand written of course) that the sender had written. Usually it was stuff like "Thinking of you this holiday season and hope that next year is great for you. Sue, Jim and the boys are coming in for Christmas for a few days and we're excited for the season. Tell Jane I said hello. Merry Christmas. Love, The Brown Family." Then they'd close the card and look at the picture and make a comment or two. "Oh, Santa Claus." or "Blue and Silver. Mary Anne always picks such pretty cards." Then they'd close the card and pass it to my mom so she could read it for herself. My mom would read it and ask if my Grandparents had other news about the family. Grandmother always knew who'd had surgery or lost her sister that year. After some talking, my mom would set the card standing up on the big television as a display (remember the ones that had like a wooden cabinet thing around the screen?) with the other cards. Before Christmas was over, there would be two dozen cards on the TV.

IT really is important for adultish kids to know that they can bounce medical advice off of parents. They just dont have the life experience, in general, to know what's what. Like figuring out what's serious and what is no big deal. When to press medical personnel and when to go with what they say. My dd was dealing with UTI symptoms. Except it didn't hurt when she peed. She (without me) went to nurse practitioner at our doctors office. NP saw symptoms, but said, well, since it's not burning, it's probably not a UTI. But didn't even take a urine sample.DD came home. I said. "Hey, when that happens it's ok to say, Well, while I'm here can I at least leave a sample for you, just in case." (My dd never burns with a UTI) And a week later, my dd was back at the dr with a UTI. (still no burning, but the other symptoms were much worse.) But you really have to teach someone to self-advocate. As someone who's been to the dr a lot, I've got a pretty good sense of when something doesn't sound right. I didn't have this at 17, 18, or 19. Now my 22 yo dd goes to all of her appointments alone, but it took time for her to get there.

Mine is a little less inspirational. This is what I say when I send my kids off someplace without me, like to field trips or to someone else's house. "Don't be stupid."

World Peace. 😝

How much did they give the officiant as a gift? my dd is getting married and our pastor is marrying her. He doesn’t expect anything. But I do feel it’s important to acknowledge his role in the ceremony. He’ll be there for rehearsal and wedding. Whats the going rate for these things? pastors and pastors wives feel free to chime in too.

She never said she’s not helping ever for this kid. she said her dd repeatedly declined the help. that’s important here. maybe her dd will figure out she needs more help. Maybe it will go swimmingly. Who knows? I’m sure the op will talk through the end result with her dd. Even if dd fails, it can still be a learning experience if her mom helps her see that 1. Maybe I should have asked for a little organizational help. 2. Perhaps I need some assistance in managing time.

This is one of the grossest titles that will not die...

There’s been an inch or so of snow on the back deck. This is my dds kitties first winter. She thinks that snow is a giant sandbox on the porch for her to use. my dd is not amused.

I'll just step in to add that theres a huge difference between a kid calling home and saying "Mom. I'm swamped. Help me talk through my week and figure out what's most important and how to schedule it all. " And continual texts like: "Good morning. It's 7:30 am! Time to get up! Today is Chemistry lab! Don't forget your xyz." Of course, I suppose that if a student has ASKED a parent to wake them because they struggle with mornings that might be ok.. Or they need a reminder to pay a bill that pops up infrequently or something like that. I'm sure the moms here who scaffold their kids don't constantly say "Hey, it's 12:30 pm. I know Chem lab is over. Did you turn in your homework? Did you write down' your assignment? Do you have any questions for the professor? Remember, English starts at 2 so you'd better go potty and stop by the car to get your notebook. And eat that Granola bar that's stuck in your backpack." What I have pictured in my head, (and correct me if I'm wrong) are students who have a couple huge blind spots. It's not everything about adult life that is hard, it's just certain things that they need adult advice and guidance on. And mom and dad aren't helicoptering around their kids. Their kids know they have a need and fill the need this way. I am sure after the chaos of the first year or two the kids figure out their systems and can put it in place on their own.

YES! This is my oldest. And she really has suffered for it in college.