Thanks. so last Tuesday I started with a kidney stone that finally passed Saturday night. Now I’m sick and so is he. He also hurt his back (that might have been the source of the moaning now that I think about it. I’m not a nice person at 3 am) I feel like the quota of sickness/not feeling well should have been filled already. This definitely feels unfair. However, I’m sure it will pass and we’ll be on the mends soon.

No fever. This is his normal sick noise. I have the same cold too.

I grew up with my dad and 2 brothers I have a husband and son now that I live with. at any point in my life when the males I’ve lived with have come down with a cold, it’s like they make a point so sneeze cough and blow their noses as loudly as humanly possible. So are they being dramatic or is this just something that’s carried on the Y chromosome? (pondering this since I spent from 3-6 am listening to my dh cough, sneeze, and blow his nose, interspersed with some mild moaning)

Interesting…I saw this yesterday which seems related. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C5jQmykO5BX/?igsh=MWtlbjFraXJ0eg==

Ooooooo…I like this.

This is the truth. People talk about the fools old days whem people stayed married and children obeyed their parents and blah blah blah. It was not like that. My paternal great grandfather was a scoundrel. I find him in census records living with various women over the decades. The my great grandmother (his wife) with seemed to have lived a terribly hard life. She was listed as a seamstress, maid, and house cleaner in a poor part of town. Her mother lived with her and her three children that the scoundrel had with her. Sometimes she was even caring for some of his other children in her home while he was living with another lady.

Thank you for this. I appreciate your honesty. Maybe I need to require as many I’m thankful as I allow complaints.

My son, age 16, is about to make me lose my mind. He spends every school day, every time I see him complaining nonstop about school. (sometimes he interjects a long boring story about this youtube video he saw once) I am so sick of it. I have told him that I can't change it. He has to pass the 10th grade to graduate high school. I ask him what he wants me to do about it. He says there's nothing I can do. So it's just constant griping. He has no learning disabilities. He's a good student. He's not over his head. He just gripes. and gripes. and gripes. I'm so done with it. (I do recognize the irony of my griping about HIS griping. )

Since I live in one of the top tobacco producing counties in the country, it never really went away here. There’s always been a segment of this area that has smoked and among the lower income people it happens in all age ranges. I do see 20-30 year olds in middle and upper middle income families smoking cigars more. And vaping is huge among all income levels with young people.

Sounds like you handled your mom very well. I'm so glad you were able to have a decent time and reconnect with your nephew.

Mine did not. We were always poor white trash on both my mothers and father's sides. My dh's family did on his Father's side. Owned a massive farm in North Georgia. We own old papers from the late 1800s. Ironically, my dh's Great Great Great (not sure how many greats) was a state representative who was one of a couple that voted against secession. Even though he owned slaves. I think he saw the handwriting on the wall. We have some papers that listed some of his slaves. It's sad. I have such sad feelings when I look at the pages. After the War, he received a presidential pardon from Andrew Johnson. We have it. We have lots of pictures and historical documents and information about that side of the family. The original house is still standing and is on the national register of historic places. It's definitely not a Scarlett O'Hara type place. It was a log house with odd framed add ons. It was probably fancy for it's time, but it's not impressive like many of the antebellum homes of New Orleans or Charleston. The family ended up poor though. After a generation or two, the family fortunes vanished due to drinking and gambling.

Passed away at age 47. https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/pop-culture-news/mandisa-american-idol-singer-grammy-winner-dies-47-rcna148561

For the parent... I'd probably seek the doctor privately "I know there are limited things you can talk to be about mom's care, but since me and my family are her primary support, we need to plan for how long she'll be under the weather. Can you give me an estimate about the time frame before she can...." This is respectful of the parent's mental state as well as your need to be able to make plans to be a caregiver. For the friend, I'd just ask. "Do you want me to ask questions or just cheer you on. " Id also say, " If at any point I'm getting to be 'too much' during this appointment, just lay your hand on my knee and I'll shut up." For young adults, I've advised them on good doctor questions and have them written down. I'd say "People often write down questions before appointments so nobody's going to think you're weird. They see it all the time." My two standard doctor questions are "Do I need to make a follow up appointment before I leave?" and "If I'm not seeing improvement, how long do I wait before calling back?" Also with scheduling, I do ask my adult kids "Do you want me to make the appointment? If so, what times are good for you? And do you want/need me to come with you??" My adult daughters do not have time to wait on hold, nor are they always in a position to answer a call back.

Don't have another kid for the kids. Have one because YOU want another kid. There are no guarantees that they'll be close. They may be like oil and water. You never know.

Praying for all of you…