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Showing content with the highest reputation since 06/24/2021 in all areas

  1. It's going to be a long engagement but its finally official!
    59 points
  2. I keep wanting to do a really long post with all the things but I just can't get to it. I used to be so active here and a lot of people have reached out or responded to a comment they wish they had known what was going on, so I'm going to try to get it all in here. My last pregnancy was awful, littered with seizures and heart and lung issues. About halfway through they started sending me to the ER after every appointment for low oxygen levels and it was really scary. Anyone who knows me knows I've head health problems my entire life and it was finally bad enough that I was diagnosed with Lupus. This is huge because I can finally treat for it. One of the major things I'm supposed to do is stay out of the sun and I just never did, constantly hurting myself in ignorance, and knowing to stop has been life changing. I used to do something like go for a 20 minute walk, not wear sunblock because it was only 20 minutes, and then be in bed for 3 days, sleeping 20 hours out of 24 and not knowing why. I'm also on the right supplements now and that's huge. All good things. I have no idea if the epilepsy diagnosis you guys were here for still stands. I don't care because my tubes are gone and pregnancy was the major inducer. Husband is in school for home inspection and should be working in the next 2 months. He's back to Uber and Lyft because we need the income after over a year off from the pandemic, but he should be transitioning to inspections full time soon. This means less hours (he does about 60 now) and more income. The income is going to be good enough to buy a house and increase our grocery budget which I really need with the Lupus diagnosis. We have gone no contact with MIL. I don't know how long that will last. It's been the best thing we've done for our marriage but since he told her he needed the time away from her she's done several horrible things including banning the entire family from speaking to him which has been really hard. He says he can feel the stress in his heart. My child I thought might be struggling with a cluster b personality disorder has autism. I feel pretty awful for not figuring that out. My pediatrician says this but without insurance they have not been evaluated. We plan to do that as soon as we can. All of baby's preemie issues are sorted. If you didn't know he was a month early and there were a lot of difficulties but now he's fat and in no apparent pain. Things (family, health, spiritual condition, finances) were just so bad for so long I didn't want to share. I got so tired of telling everyone everywhere that everything was awful. But things have really turned around and we're all really excited. All good things. Is that everything? I think that's everything. The kitten is a fiasco. I blame y'all for this.
    59 points
  3. The county sheriff’s department is issuing my son an apology and doing some things to build rapport with him so he is not afraid of law enforcement. And they asked me to come in and train all their deputies on autism awareness/deescalation/mental health emergencies. Now I have to deal with the school.
    54 points
  4. I am meeting with the officer’s boss’s boss in a few minutes. One handy perk of being a paramedic in a small city is that I know everyone. I am going to FOIL the body cam if they won’t let me view it. I also have a children’s attorney that knows my son personally(goes to church with my in laws who take my kids) who has a sharkish reputation. It’s not even about my son, who’s already moved on and is much more interested in discussing Spartacus and the Third Servile War than this—but there’s a lot of kids in that school who are foster kids, living with grandparents who are exhausted and overwhelmed, living with single moms who just don’t have the resources that I do. There’s a lot of non verbal or limited verbal kids who can’t tell their parents things. Not every parent has the availability to take a day off work and pursue legal avenues and make phone calls or drop an attorney retainer fee. If they’re handcuffing and isolating my kid(knowing full well that I am a b$tch with resources and connections), what are they doing to the other kids? It’s just not okay. I’m blowing this up.
    52 points
  5. Just got this text…what a surprise. (Insert a million eye rolling emojis)
    46 points
  6. Meet Princess Rio(my kids came up with the name lol) of my Zoo. DH still isn’t thrilled, but he’ll survive.
    46 points
  7. One night only, but it's a beginning!!!! Day 1 - I hiked just over 9 miles to campsite where I set up my tent, filtered water, made supper, and went to bed by 8pm. I didn't sleep well since I still don't have a better pillow, but I used a stuff sack with my extra clothes (in addition to my crappy pillow) plus it was chillier than I anticipated. But, my sleeping pad was much more comfy on the ground and with a bit less air! I am still very interested in the ZenBivy system though.... Day 2 - I actually slept a little later than I planned (Isn't that the way? Don't sleep all night, but come 5:30am - sound asleep!) and got on the trail shortly after 8:30. I hiked just over 4 miles and waited for the shuttle I had arranged to take me back to my car. I hiked pretty much by myself both days and at the campsite an older gentleman set up his hammock a bit away from my tent and there were a bunch of other people set up a ways up the trail. Everyone had to walk by me to get to the water source, so they all knew I was there, but I think the older gentleman was worried about me being on my own - he and I had chatted at an overlook for 10-15 minutes about 3 miles before the campsite. Anyway, it was nice he was there, but I felt totally safe before he set up. Everyone I spoke to on the trail was nice, chatty, and easy going. I can't wait to do it again - hopefully for 2-3 nights next time.
    44 points
  8. I have always made Spanish a priority in our homeschool, but it is one of the subjects I am least confident about. My Spanish skills are intermediate at best, and largely useless practically because I was taught with a strong vocab and grammar focus that fully prepared me to fill out conjugation charts but not to really communicate. I have used the comprehensible input method of language teaching for my kids starting fairly early - just piecing together various activities and resources. The advantage is that it is fun for them, and teaching them to be confident, intuitive Spanish communicators, but the disadvantage is that progress is uneven and hard to measure. I have always had a general sense that all the kids are improving, but no good way to measure their progress. This past year my oldest was in 6th grade, and I called his studies "Spanish 3" because that seemed to most closely match his level. I tentatively gave him a high school credit because I knew he was certainly spending the time and doing rigorous work, but a big part of me wondered what level he was "actually" at. Well, for this coming year I found DS an online, comprehensible input Spanish class. He had to do an interview/evaluation with the teacher in order to place into an upper level class, and the teacher says that he will be entering as a very strong Spanish 4 student. Yay!! She said that his grammar is right on target and that his conversation, reading and listening comprehension are well above average for that level. This is exactly what I wanted to hear and gives me a boost of confidence that all my hard work is producing results if I just stay the course!
    40 points
  9. He is headed HOME! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 blood work, everything is perfect! thank y’all for the prayers! 💛
    39 points
  10. For those curious or in case anyone ever has to... We remodeled our tiny 3/4 master bathroom into this: We did a lot of research and counted heavily on friends/contractors of ours. They knew what could and couldn’t be done with the space. 1. Toilevator 2. Bidet with remote 3. Drop down bars by the toilet instead of standard grab - these move out of the way for a shower chair of or when needed 4. Linear drain to decrease the angles 5. Sloped floor and zero entry 6. All tile 7. Bertch custom made the sink cabinetry to fit the space. Apparently this wasn’t difficult? Or maybe I was just lucky with the width of the space? 8. Flip up seat for shower chair accessibility 9. A second shower head on a vertical bar for hands free and easy adjustment 10. Touchless soap/shampoo dispensers (who knew it was HARD to pump shampoo?! Surprised me too! 11. We still have to add a vertical bar that doubles as a toilet paper holder I’m so tickled with the outcome!! Ignore the lights... it was what we had on hand yesterday. 😉
    38 points
  11. I'm so sorry. If you are in the US and because this is an involuntary termination, right now you will have premiums 100% covered for a period of time under the American Rescue Plan because of Covid. I think it is for 6 months. The details are here. https://www.dol.gov/sites/dolgov/files/EBSA/about-ebsa/our-activities/resource-center/faqs/cobra-premium-assistance-under-arp.pdf
    38 points
  12. re lessons from the chicken coop, a True Story So, COVID transformed my husband -- I truly cannot convey just how implausible this really is -- into chicken farming. He decided (this is more than a year ago now) that he wouldn't start with chicks, but rather with "pullets." Pullets, you probably know (we did not) are ~puberty-age~ chickens, not old enough to lay but old enough to reliably sex-sort. He went this route partly because our town zoning allows chickens but not roosters, and partly because he wanted to fast-forward the timeline to getting to eggs; but mostly because we have a sensitive animal-loving vegetarian peacenik daughter who could not tolerate the, er, disposition of chicks that turned out to be roosters. So. We have absolutely no idea what we're doing (I cannot emphasize this point strongly enough) but we get the pullets, six of them, and manage to ensconce them into the three-story deluxe Chicken Condo Complex/Fort Knox Yard that he spent the first two months of lockdown designing and ordering materials to be delivered and constructing and revising. And it takes them a couple days before they work out how to come down the gangplank, and another couple days before they stopped freaking out every time a hawk circled overhead and trusted the Fort Knox roof over their yard... and started -- as you say -- working out their "pecking order." Animal-loving vegetarian peacenik, who like all of us had oodles of unexpected time on her hands, ensconced herself in an Adirondack chair in front of Fort Knox and watched them for hours on end, and came up with what ultimately became their names (Henriegga, Eggsmerelda, Stregga Nona, Eggwina, Gregg.... And Peggy) after roundly rejecting my husband's proposal (I can't remember exactly, but along the lines of Cacciatore, Korma, General Tso, etc). Gregg? we asked. Non-binary, she replied. After about a week of pullet observation, it became clear that Gregg was at the top of the "pecking order," and And Peggy was at the bottom. And then, after a few more weeks... all of us except my husband began to suspect, at first secretly/ individually/ separately, and then we began discussing it, that Gregg was maybe a rooster. Now. The pullets had been professionally sex-sorted, by actual chicken-raising professionals, in an actual chicken-raising farm. And not a one of us had *any* kind of husbandry experience, nor *any* kind of visual cue to point to. The sole data we each had noted, independently, was behavioral: Gregg acted -- there really is no other way to put this -- like.a.d!ck. But my husband, upon consulting the Interwebs, reported that female chickens at the top of the "pecking order" sometimes do act like d!cks; and dismissed the idea entirely. And the rest of us doubted our judgment, because -- I really cannot emphasize this enough -- we had absolutely no idea what we were doing, even less than my husband, who at least was consulting the Interwebs for hours on end on every possible aspect of husbandry. Who were we, to second-guess the discernment of professionals? And none of them were laying yet, so we had no real method of experimentation. Weeks crawled by, for us, for our unseen loved ones, for the locked down nation, for the Fort Knox in our backyard. The "pecking order" calcified. Animal-loving vegetarian peacenik grew increasingly distressed about the plight of And Peggy, whom she became convinced was malnourished and not growing properly, and for whom she began to contrive ways of supplemental feeding such that Gregg the Non-Binary Acts Like a D!ck could not prevent. I have foreshadowed this so beautifully, you may suspect where we're headed here. One early morning, as I sat outside musing in my Gratitude Journal (another COVID-driven new practice), I heard, behind me, unmistakable crowing. Now. Six chickens, behind me: there was no way for me to know which one it came from. Except: I knew. Husband consulted the Interwebs and reported that sometimes, female chickens make squawking sounds that kinda-sorta sound like crowing, to amateurs (like me, was the obvious implication) who can't tell the difference. I waited. Animal-loving vegetarian peacenik continued to sneak And Peggy supplemental feedings. A week or two later, as she sat in her Adirondack chair fretting over And Peggy's still-small frame, Gregg crowed again, just after bullying Eggsmerelda off a slug she'd found in the Fort Knox yard. My husband repeated his Interwebs insight that hens sometimes squawk in ways that kinda sound like crowing... but somewhat less emphatically, this time. The third time Gregg crowed, just after pouncing on Stregga Nona who was calmly rifling through the dirt wholly minding her own business, husband was *right there* and could no longer remain in denial. [Town zoning laws re roosters are clear, so now we had a new problem. There were a variety of logistically easier alternatives, but given concerns of animal-loving vegetarian peacenik we ended up boxing Gregg up and driving him some distance, back to the pullet farm from which we'd obtained him, where they run a Rooster Retirement Home where he'll definitely live out a long life in contented peace.] And you'll never guess what happened next. Just as soon as Gregg was gone -- literally, within hours -- the other five chickens began behaving differently. It took a while before we (ALVP as the lead observer here, from her Adirondack chair) could articulate the difference. ALVP said the nervous energy dropped precipitously: the remaining five chickens were markedly less stressed. Over the next few weeks... the "pecking order" disappeared. Truly. Some mornings, after the solar-operated automatic door opens, Eggsmerelda is the first one out; other days, Eggwina; others Stregga Nona. We scatter vegetable scraps around Fort Knox, they each calmly head to different corners. When one of them finds a slug, the others might cluster around with interest, but no one swoops in to steal it. And Peggy, I'm happy to report, and to ALVP's great satisfaction, has put on weight and has now achieved the same size as the others. A full year later, there really isn't a "pecking order" any more. ALVP attributes this to the absence of a rooster... and based on the vast experience of one coop with one d!ck-y rooster, I'm inclined to agree. Five chickens, 4 or 5 eggs a day. ALVP attributes their productivity to their small-brained mental health. (Husband OTOH attributes it to his newfound husbandry skills, and also the spaciousness of Fort Knox.) And they all lived happily ever after, The End.
    38 points
  13. A significant aspect of who they are is the biological sex they were at conception. They can be a lot of other things as well, but that fundamental truth remains. And biological females have good reason in many cases to want some spaces where they can be confident they will not encounter biological males. FEMALES ARE VULNERABLE AND DESERVE PROTECTION. Most violence of all kinds against women and girls comes from males. We don't need separate changing spaces for men and women because people just happened to identify as different genders. We need separate changing spaces because we are a sexually dimorphic species in which one sex is vulnerable to the sexual aggression of the other sex and many members of the more vulnerable sex feel safest not being naked around members of the opposite sex. If transwomen desire to be treated with dignity and compassion they should surely start by treating biological females, Women, with dignity and compassion. That would include understanding the natural vulnerability of females and working to protect female spaces from biological males. "You have to accept me and my male body into your female space" is not treating others with dignity and compassion.
    37 points
  14. There's a data analyst that I read who has written that breaking this into a red/blue divide isn't the most informative way to capture what is happening. He argues that most people are making decisions based on their personal risks. For example, older people lean red but are also the most likely to be vaccinated. People who live in more dense environments are also more likely to be vaccinated. So, people at higher risk of complications or at higher risk of being exposed are more likely to choose to be vaccinated than people at lower risk of either. There are differences by race, with Asians most likely to be vaccinated, followed by whites, then Hispanic, and then Black. I don't know how that fits with perception of risk, but the analyst was pointing out that when people hear 'unvaccinated in Alabama' they may be imagining a 60 year old white Trump voter but it's equally (or maybe more) likely to be a 25 year old black man. Locally, I'm seeing perception of risk driving people's decisions, and I do see one somewhat political aspect. Most older people, whatever their political views, got vaccinated as quickly as they could. Most people that i know in the 35-55 demographic also got vaccinated, but the people that I know who are in rural areas are less likely to have made that choice. Where I see the difference is with vaccinating youth and kids. The more conservative people are more likely to choose to wait for more information before having low-risk teens vaccinated, while people who don't want to do things until younger people can be vaccinated are more likely to lean blue. There isn't a perfect breakdown, though, and I'd imagine, based on knowing the people involved, that it probably also correlates with how likely they are to go to a doctor vs wait things out, etc. And, as I post in other threads, I love to read and learn but don't like to argue on the internet. I hesitated to even post on a thread that is likely to get contentions, but the info from the first paragraph was interesting to me when I read it so I wanted to share it. I probably won't be back for future discussion, although I may check in to see what others post.
    34 points
  15. Why do I need to disclose a trauma before I'm allowed boundaries? Who decides if my story is bad enough for me to be 'allowed' to have a boundary? I don't care if 99% of females are super cool with it, female spaces that include males will exclude some women, which means those women have no options and males have all the options. This is fair and progressive? Make a 3rd neutral option, make the men's open, there are many solutions if one genuinely wants to find one. Women's spaces and boundaries are not up for grabs, they are hard won, I will not be silent or 'kind' while a male appropriates them.
    34 points
  16. When my third dd turned 5 we bought her a sweet great pyr pup named Lucy. My dd is now 16, sadly, 2 weeks ago Lucy died in her sleep of old age. She felt great right up til the last few weeks of her life. She was a wonderful dog and we were all so sad. well, we all know that the best salve from losing a dog is a pup. And we got my dd a new dog. This ones a boy. He’s named Barnabas. Oh he’s so sweet. ETA: the first pic is my dd and Lucy and the second is my dd and barnabas.
    33 points
  17. I thought I’d be clever and get a photo of all three of mine together. Fifteen minutes and about 2 dozen treats later, this was the best I could get! Can you tell which hand was holding the treats? 😂
    33 points
  18. Here are a couple pics of our newest addition, Ducky. Four month old stray who was transported up here from Texas. Since we got him on Friday, he’s been busy catching up on rest and calories. 🙂 Although he looks serious in every photo I’ve taken, he is actually a big silly goofball.
    33 points
  19. PLEASE DO NOT QUOTE THIS STORY: PLEASE DO NOT QUOTE THIS STORY; I will delete it.
    33 points
  20. Let's do something fun and share pics of our canine companions. Here are my two boys: 14 yo Belgian Tervuren, 6.5 mo Belgian Groenendael I apologize for the large pics. If anyone knows how to resize them, assistance would be appreciated.
    32 points
  21. I'm a dog fanatic! Your babies are all ADORABLE! ♥♥♥ This is my River. He turned 10 at the end of May. No health problems yet (knock wood).
    32 points
  22. My 6yo, 3.5lb mutt doesn’t like the paparazzi.
    32 points
  23. I don't think agreeing to disagree about the actual material reality of biological sex is a rational thing to do, anymore than agreeing to disagree about whether the earth is flat or round would be rational. There are true, verifiable facts and the reality of sexed bodies is one of them. I am not condemning trans people. The difficulty we are up against is that we CANNOT protect women within women's spaces if we define woman in such a way that all a biological male has to do in order to gain admittance to women's spaces is self-identify as a woman. Subjective and self-referential standards offer no legal protection at all. If, in this case, there is a conflict of interest between transwomen and biological females it is the transwomen who need to find solutions that preserve the rights of biological females. Otherwise we are just back to the old story of males deciding what rights women do and do not have.
    32 points
  24. 16 year olds? I was taking trips around the country by myself at that age. I can't imagine insisting on close supervision at that age!
    31 points
  25. So, DH & I have started playing Stardew Valley together on weekend mornings (and sometimes during the week) when the kids are all asleep (the boys introduced us to it when oldest was away at summer camp and we needed something for the 4 of us to do.....then when he got back, we couldn't/didn't feel right playing our 4-person farm and leaving him out, so DH and I just started our own...). Anyway, we're far enough in the game now that DH was able to craft the Wedding Ring and his character proposed to my character last night......and I was/am ridiculously giddy over that. ❤️ Which is hilarious and silly, but......:giggle:....I feel like I just got engaged! LOL! Just had to share *somewhere* (and am too embarrassed to talk about it in real life, LOL!).
    31 points
  26. 31 points
  27. I would not be bothered if the unvaccinated people took measures not to infect others. Willfully risking spreading a dangerous disease because the person refuses to mask, distance, and stay home when sick? That's the same as reckless drunk driving. As to the bolded: since masking is primarily protecting the other person, how can that be left to each person's decision? "I reserve the right to cough lethal germs on you because it's my decision"? WTH?
    30 points
  28. Here is Honey Bear. She came to us in August as a rehome . She is about 2 1/2 years old Goldendoodle. Coincidentally, my daughter also has a rehomed bishpoo named Cash. He is the little guy in the pic. We love the fact that they are a little/big version of each other because we didn’t pick out either one.
    30 points
  29. I've shared pictures of mine before, but here's a recent one of Matilda. (Although I've never changed my "world's most adorable puppy" attribution in my signature, she's actually 12 years old now.)
    30 points
  30. Trax will be 3 next month. He is an Australian Shepherd/Alaskan Malamute mix.
    30 points
  31. 30 points
  32. I’m ok with gender neutral single occupancy spaces but they do dramatically increase costs. Making communal spaces co-ed is an idea that is floated a lot but it doesn’t address the needs of all users of the space. One of my clients serves the local East African community- co-ed spaces for toilets, dressing rooms and showers wouldn’t be accessible as the vast majority are practicing Muslims. There are of course other faiths and cultures where co-ed spaces would mean the space was not culturally accessible. Also, as a CSA survivor for many, many years, a co-ed space would have just meant I would have chosen to not go swimming or to shower. I’ve reached a point where it wouldn’t be an issue for me in most cases but I know I am unfortunately far from alone in that history. Abuse survivors shouldn’t have to explain why single sex or single occupancy spaces have value- it should be relatively obvious. We can say that we should live in a world where that’s not a consideration but we are clearly NOT living in that world and won’t be living in it anytime in the foreseeable future.
    30 points
  33. Many of the people who made this last year miserable in countless ways used to be friends or at least what we thought were trustworthy acquaintances. If they want to continue on with life without getting a vaccine, so be it, but at some point, I don't have to care anymore. That's an emotional boundary that makes this more bearable. They did NOT care about themselves, each other, or us up to this point. It's not our job to keep caring for everyone. Do I mask in public with the rise in variants? Yes. I still don't want to get this or accidentally spread it, but I am not obligated to shoulder the burden of caring for people who don't care about themselves. It's healthy, to some extent, to step away. I am going to be further inconvenienced until this is all over because we are cautious. We made major sacrifices this year, and the vaccine will allow us to make slightly less major sacrifices this year, but we will still be inconvenienced while being pitied for our so-called ignorance. The people around me willingly fed at the trough of lies. They bathed in it gleefully. Some are Q adjacent and don't know it, but many, many of the most influential repudiate Q while agitating for ivermectin, HCQ, no masks, "it's just the flu," "shots are a rehearsal for one-world government and the anti-Christ, etc." They specifically rallied people to limit the governor's power not only in this pandemic but for all future emergency situations--our state is pretty impaired to deal with any emergency going forward now. Even some of the less outspoken ones viewed and discussed our state's lottery to reward vaccine recipients like it was something out of the Hunger Games. They believe they are the only ones that do care, and they think that I am deceived (and speak to me like I am an ignorant child with all kinds of "Jesus loves you and I still do/we can agree to disagree" talk). It's sometimes necessary to detach and not care anymore. It's not the same as thinking they deserve what they get. I have to fight wanting people I know who get it through flouting all the evidence not being at least temporarily miserable, and I have to work through major cognitive dissonance when people seemingly just walk away from Covid without a scratch while knowing that it just reinforces their willfully wrong POV that it's no big deal. Detaching helps.
    29 points
  34. Well these are huge! First is Felix, our 18 month old black lab rescue. The other dog is his new little sister, Luna, a 14 week old shepherd mix rescue (need to run a DNA test on her!). We got her about four weeks ago. This is the first time we have had two dogs, but Felix needs someone to play with without having to go to the dog park on 115+ degree days here in AZ! They are getting along beautifully, and she has an amazing temperament, so we are so happy. This is, however, the last puppy I will ever raise. It's like having a newborn, and I am exhausted. I jokingly refer to getting her as a single step plan to ruin my summer. 🤪 (Fittingly, I will say here to please disregard the filthy floor. She likes to walk in the water bowl, then walk in the food bowl, then patter around the kitchen. 🤨 We have learned to take them up.)
    29 points
  35. 29 points
  36. Mystery solved. I didn’t consider it at first because my daughter is gone this week at camp. They were found off the hangers, out of the bags, obviously worn and lovingly folded in my six year old son’s closet. Along with three other dresses, four shirts, two necklaces and two pairs of heels that I’ve also been missing. At least he has good taste.
    29 points
  37. It's not a secret that a great many people did everything they could and still caught Covid and died. It's a global tragedy and for a long time, even when you did everything in your power, you couldn't protect yourself. A lot of people who FEEL like they stayed healthy because they were good at taking all of the precautions were really just good at not breathing covid contaminated air . . . that's luck, not skill. It was all awful and nobody asked for any of this. Now that we're in the post-vaccine portion of the pandemic, we really CAN do something to greatly reduce our risk of death. That's the conversation we're having now and it's no reflection on what anyone did or didn't do pre-vaccine.
    28 points
  38. I’m trying to stay in lurkdom, but I couldn’t resist! This beautiful girl was bred then dumped at a kill shelter. She’s super naughty but sooo sweet.
    28 points
  39. The second pic cracks me up. She sits there and cries when she is “restrained” by the gate. I keep waiting for her to decide we aren’t that serious about keeping her in that room but so far she honors the gate even with her body practically on the other side of it.
    28 points
  40. Cooper in the snow. Thrn snuggled on Dd’s bed. Shelter mutt. Very sweet, but loud and not a pleaser like the lab in my avatar photo.
    28 points
  41. Hi there. I don’t know if you will ever see this. I know this is an old thread. I just wanted to let you know that I am the one who posted this unkind comment to you, years ago “You have called her a middle schooler, passive aggressive, not a grown up and stated that you have very little patience for her. The answer to your problem is right in your question. She can't talk to you because you will belittle her instead of trying to understand. I'd suggest you let her be while you focus on improving your own habits of relating for awhile, and when she perceives a difference in you, she may slowly start to test the waters of a relationship again” I just wanted to let you know that it has bothered me ever since I posted this, that I was unkind and unloving towards you. I even stopped frequenting this website because of it. This situation with your family was really none of my business to stick my nose and opinion into, and I do sincerely apologize to you and to anyone else that I upset on this board. If it helps, The truth is that I believe I was projecting my own problems onto you and your situation. I really am sorry, and I do hope that things have worked out for you and your family.
    28 points
  42. Something you could do is call the cops yourself and say okay my child is very autistic and has major anxiety. It was a HUGE milestone thing that he even went over there. And now this lady is threatening to call the cops on him saying he stole money out of her house and I know he didn’t bc he just wouldn’t have been able to handle that thought process. Ask the cop how he thinks you should handle it and how he thinks he can help resolve this problem.
    28 points
  43. Love isn't only fireworks and exuberance and unalloyed adoration. Love is acknowledging the hard things and still loving. Spending the 4th of July pondering the still unmet promise of our founding ideals is a perfectly valid and respectful way to honor those ideals.
    28 points
  44. We don’t know if the person who was exposed in the women’s spa was a transwoman or not. All we know is that more than a few women who seemed to have seen the person were upset + the guy who was whiteknighting for the issue assumed that a person in the women’s spa area instead of the co-ed space was a transwoman. I noticed on the video that there’s one woman talking but quite a few other women in their robes who don’t look happy and one is trying to get a refund because she didn’t want to stay. I heard instances of women off camera or to the side of the camera chime in to try and defend the woman who is doing the talking. Most (honestly, basically ALL) woman instinctively know if someone is unobtrusively using a space or if someone is being creepy and offensive. It seems from this video that more than a couple of women saw the person and instinctively went with creepy. I don’t know transwomen who are creeps or who would be comfortable with their intact male genitalia on display in a women’s only space. My hunch would be that this was not a trans person but I don’t know that. I, like so many women, have encountered men who will use whatever they can to violate the boundaries of women either for voyeuristic or masturbatory purposes. Believe women- if a group of women saw this and were bothered enough to go to the lobby in their robes, I’m willing to go with whatever was going on was in the creepy column rather than a transwoman just trying to use a spa in peace. Some males get off on violating the boundaries of and spaces designated for women. To believe that creeps are above exploiting any and everything they can to do so is just silly. Minimizing this because it’s not covered by a news sites you like is also silly because this is not an issue that most media sites will touch with a 10 foot pole. Self ID has real life, nuanced implications and flattening any and all concerns about it to bigotry on the part of women isn’t fair.
    28 points
  45. Here's our super sweet and gentle Newfie.... Hudson. ❤️
    27 points
  46. You are not doing anything wrong. You may be expecting too much from counseling. What would happen if you gave up the questioning and decided to let go of the search for meaning? What if you decided that life does not need to have purpose? Hugs. I hope you find a way out of your crisis.
    27 points
  47. “Hi, I live down the street and used to play Pokémon Go with [former pastor]. I brought you some lemon bars, welcome to the neighborhood.”
    27 points
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