I did two videos today but not much else. I'm feeling blah from doing very little here at my mother's house. I have weights and do videos but most of my time is kind of hanging out waiting to do something with her. I'm feeling bad about my eating too, all healthy and delicious just too much. I'm into a weird slump here and have two more weeks to get through. The second week is at my sister's which will also be hard. I need to stop whining and get it together.

I hope you do go and send pics!

It wasn't pleasant and it got worse before it got better but totally worth it.

I'm so sorry. Healing is possible. I was depressed for many years as a young adult and mother. For me, talking with someone was not the point. I needed to " do the work" which was to actually feel what I had spent years just holding onto but not being willing to really feel. It was quite hard to access those feelings because I was really worried that I would not stop crying or would somehow never come out of the feelings, which sounds irrational but was a real fear. So eventually I decided that feeling all the stuff wouldn't be any worse than the depression I was in so just went for it. I started by sort of accidentally getting angry about a particular situation, then realized my anger was me holding onto a tiny bit of self-love, that I deserved. This was followed by months of tears. I decided that my tears and feelings would be the flash flood and I would be the riverbed. I did do talk therapy during this time but it wasn't especially helpful. After many months of crying and raging, I felt myself become undepressed. The only way I can describe it is as a physical load leaving my chest and shoulders. I thought I would have to spend effort to stop all the repeating thoughts I would have, but they actually went away without any effort on my part. I really hope you find a modality that works for you. I haven't tried meds or hormones but I know people have good results with them. You can't push the river but you can make an easier place for the river to flow.

Both of mine are too. One son has one in reserve but doesn't sleep with it.

Ah ha! I will start looking at avatars for stuffties portraits.

Yes. Always have, always will. Spouse has no opinion or if he does he's kept it to himself all these years. I call them stuffties but bow to popular spelling. I had been thinking of this topic for a few weeks then this article appeared today: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/04/25/style/stuffy-dating-stuffed-animals-relationship.html?

I'm sorry you are beating yourself up now. My oldest was 14 when he broke his ankle. I pretended it wasn't broken for a night entirely because we didn't have insurance and I was just panicking, willling it to not be broken. He ultimately needed surgery to set it. The hospital social worker helped us access Medicare for him which was life-changing, but yeah, also my worst parenting moment.

I often hear the phone ringing in my sleep or when I'm in the shower when it isn't actually. "Exploding head syndrome" is my new favorite go-to explanation for everything.

Hygienist tells me to use toothpaste with baking soda which helps neutralize the saliva acids that form plaque.

I love these. The last one reminded me of when I was little and saw a gravity pendulum knocking over dominos one by one. I was absolutely convinced that the world would end if that pendulum stopped.

Great news! Congrats!

Missed it, but congratulations!

I did a 3.5 mile walk yesterday, a fitbymyk video, and a lot of gardening for my mom today. I also bought some 5 pound weights to leave here since I come so often, and will start with those tonight.

My sister has lived in London all of her adult life and has certainly picked up elements of an accent but her kids are full-on Londoners and have their father's accent. This has always struck me as going against everything you read about babies learning syntax in the womb.