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About Carrie12345

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    Apprentice Bee Keeper
  • Birthday April 28

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    Jersey girl in the Poconos
  • Interests
    Sewing cloth diapers, learning how to be a mini-homesteader, wasting time online and bad t.v.

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  1. Not one bit! I still have mini panic attacks whenever anything “official” with my ex comes up, and I don’t think my situation comes even close to the level of yours. I mean, I definitely went through some stuff, and that stuff comes back whenever I have to speak to him or his lawyer, or if I think about speaking to them for too long. I’m a little queasy just typing that! You’ve been put through the wringer. It’s not silly. I’m glad things are finally final for you! Be good to yourself!
  2. We got a new fake tree (prelit) last year, and it was a miserable experience. I’m not a big fan to begin with, and I just can’t understand why they make so many ugly ones!!!
  3. Carrie12345


    I don’t see how that can be the case in her situation since she’s expressing that she wants to reconcile.
  4. I just want to say that you’re not alone! Chore lists/standards/expectations are a source of conflict over here. They were with my 21yo ds, and now they are with my 16 and 17yo dds. Also with the little boys, but that’s still somehow different than with the teens. I do try hard not to let it spill over too much into social activities and even less into group projects/commitments, but it has been known to happen. And I have a secret I don’t want my kids to know. I was a slob until I was about... 22ish? If you came to my house you might think I still am, but it’s mostly because I have married and spawned slobs and they consider me a “perfectionist” who’s standards they can’t meet. It might not be terrible if I weren’t so outnumbered! No real advice here, other than to say that a 17yo isn’t doomed to always be a slob if you let them live long enough to find out.
  5. One of our inside GFCIs is on the same circuit as the outdoor one. If we trip the inside, we NEVER think to reset the outside. I have spent more time staring at outdoor cords wondering what the heck is going on than I care to admit!
  6. Carrie12345


    Well, I would say it may not *necessarily be anger over holding fast, exactly. In a situation with my dh, I wasn’t specifically angry with him for having a different POV at the time. I was angry about his refusal to discuss how to handle our different beliefs, so to speak. “My way or the highway” isn’t a relationship. For me, pain and frustration often looks like anger. It’s not; it’s pain and frustration. It could certainly be possible that someone might understand what your beliefs are, and not realize quite how far the reaction would go in practice. For example, I’ve always known my parent believed my kids should be baptized. It never occurred to me that that might result in a fractured relationship. Fortunately, it has not. My point is that I never pondered that possibility. I’ve always assumed my mother would be my constant, no matter what I did or didn’t do. I don’t think it’s unusual that a young adult might feel rejected for who they are. I mean, it sounds like grown adult Scarlett is feeling very much that way, so why wouldn’t a child? And, yes, that might look very much like anger. I’m in no position to dissect anyone’s theology, to be fair. But most of the people I know (not all) find ways to be loving and connected without forfeiting their religion. Otherwise, my children and I would have far fewer friends!
  7. I have issues with the way jail/prison is used. I’m not sure if I’m a “no jail for non-violent crimes” person or not, but maybe I’m close to that. I don’t think it should be used to make a spectacle, and I think that’s what’s being done here. (And is often done elsewhere, in addition to making $$$.) The fine is ridiculous. At least, it is on the surface. I wonder (without googling) if the judge chose to consider lost work as part of the “consequence”. On one hand, they’re all (deservedly) losing legit dollars over their actions. On the other, people may eventually decide to just forget about it and they could all go back to making lots of money. There’s no real telling. I’d like to see the community service be something substantial and meaningful. It doesn’t often work out that way, though.
  8. I don’t mind carpet too much for bedrooms, but I’d pick a hard surface with rugs, given the option. I’d stay away from vinyl, though. My parents threw some down in a bedroom (asthmatic sister) and it was very slippery. We had also had vinyl in our foyer/dining/kitchen area that was textured so it wouldn’t be *terribly slippery, but the texture made for difficult cleaning. Dirt would settle in the recesses, but serious scrubbing would scratch it up. I recently put peel and stick vinyl in my pantry closet and slipped several times while installing it, lol! (But that’s fine because now it’s covered by shelves.) We put laminate wood planks in the bedroom my daughters share. They destroyed the carpet that had been in there.
  9. There are so many additional things that have happened after 9/11 that have changed things/me that I’m not sure I can tease them all out and isolate that one event anymore, which is pretty depressing.
  10. When I do these, I make sure to swirl the yolks so they cook through, otherwise they reheat to a very strange texture. We haven’t mastered the microwave timing yet, but we keep fooling around with times and power levels, warming them up little by little. Full time on the highest power turns them hard.
  11. I live in the Poconos and there are lots of winter things to do. Most of the ski resorts (where you can stay or just visit) have tubing, which doesn’t take any skill! Unfortunately, our snow can be fickle. We can have feet and feet in December and next to nothing in February. Or vice verse. The resorts make their own, but the private rental homes do not. 😉
  12. I don’t know if this is helpful in the short term, but it’s how I operate. Right now, we have 2 adults, 2 active teen girls, and 12 and 8yo boys. I generally spend $200-250/wk (including trash bags, toothpaste, etc.) on my “non-strict” budget. That’s with sale stocking, which then allows me to pick a few times a year of “super-strict” budgeting. I spent about $60 last week, and $125 this week. I’m hoping to keep it under $100/wk for the rest of the month. (My kids work at a farm. I went nuts on produce earlier this week! Normally I try to avoid going in, lol.) For me, it’s all about buying whatever they’re slashing in a given week. Whole grain bread is half price in my store nearly every other week. I buy twice as much and toss the extra in the freezer. Ground beef (sometimes even grass fed) goes down to $1.99. I think I got $1.79 once! I won’t buy it when it’s full price. Store brand quick oats are almost always cheap at my store, but the kids get flavored oatmeal when it’s on sale for $1.49/box. Never, ever, ever $3.79! But then I can get plenty to carry through to the next sale, unless they’ve gone hog wild and then they’e out of luck. That’s pretty much how I handle everything. Flour, sugars, bulk rice, frozen produce (fresh, too, as far as picking what’s on sale, not so much to stock unless I have time to process for storage myself,) block cheeses... I do pretty much always buy Walmart’s giant 60-case of eggs. We like breakfast for dinner once every week or two. Soup and grilled cheese about the same. There’s a leftovers night at some point every week. I’m trying to make more meals where meat is an “extra” instead of the main component. (Especially with a pescatarian in the house.). My sons will eat anything wrapped in a tortilla (about $4 for a 20-pack here, regular price.) My daughters are on baked potato kicks. Making pizza is generally inexpensive. My store sells pizza dough (white or whole wheat) for $1/ball, pizza sauce for under $2, and mozzarella (enough for 2 pies) for $1.99 on sale. We can do 4 pies for around $16 and throw some leftovers on them if we feel like it. Having an air popper for popcorn makes for very inexpensive snacking! If I’m really hankering for sweets, I keep a stash of brownie mixes on hand from when they’re on sale for 79-99 cents. You can’t get much cheaper than that! Oh, and I do buy really cheap Walmart white bread to make a ton of (unsweetened) French toast for the freezer. The kids will pop some in the toaster for breakfast or if they’re just hungry and, hey, it’s got eggs!
  13. Yes!!! My parents split up when I was a teenager, and I really wasn’t spared much detail. There are lots of things I shouldn’t have had to carry at that age. My kids have a lot of serious drama in their extended family and I’ve tried to keep things as need-to-know and basic as possible. As they’ve gotten older and, in some cases, *needed to know more, they’ve been appalled that we didn’t share from the beginning. I still think I did the right thing trying to protect them from stuff that could only hurt and confuse them, but it did hurt and confuse them.
  14. All of my kids’ “issues” have been mentioned. There’s often talk about the younger kids not doing as much as the older kids did at their ages. It’s mostly untrue. My older kids perceive that they did much more... sometimes even more than they actually do now! They also think they were punished more and more harshly. I will admit that I yell less!
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