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Katy

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Katy last won the day on December 1 2014

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About Katy

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    Hive Mind Level 6 Worker: Scout Bee

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  1. Yes, it definitely can. We bought a house that was mostly this awful mustard gold color. I practically shut down. When it was finally in the budget to paint and we did my entire attitude and how active I was changed dramatically for the better. Since then I've been acutely aware of colors when we visited houses. Some colors make me anxious. Others make me happy and productive, especially revere pewter (walls), white opulence (trim) and sea salt (doors). And looking back, when it was bad I definitely think it would have classified as mild depression. But I would be concerned with mold and allergens too.
  2. I would just flat-out tell him that he is the narcissist you're concerned about today and you will not tolerate being treated that way. He can either knock it off and behave properly or go away. His choice.
  3. The solution is to keep doing what you're doing. You're doing the right thing. And if/when you figure out his love language, give him heaps of it. Hugs.
  4. Katy

    Blah.

    That urgent care doc was being a jerk. You have the flu. A few years back a study came out that said most severe colds are mild influenza when they identify the virus. And with muscle aches and a fever? It's the flu. Go to bed. Stay in bed. Refuse to feel guilty about it. If it lasts longer than 10 days or you get a bad cough, go back to the doctor.
  5. Was DS2 adopted as an infant? Or as an older child? BC IME a child that was adopted as an older child can bond with men easier because the men aren't replacing anyone they trusted in their bio families. But it's harder to trust the "new" mom will be more reliable than the birth mom. And I'm not sure any of that is conscience thought on the part of the child, it's simply trauma & attachment issues. Now if DS2 was adopted as an infant my guess is that his love languages match up with your husband's better than with yours so he just feels safer with him. I always felt safer with my dad, even though as an adult I can tell you my mom loved me more in every measurable way. But it didn't feel that way as a child. and... you've already answered why. Did you need reassurance?
  6. IME all churches that don't consider marriage a sacrament will let couples get married there, they just charge ten times more for non-members. And yes, I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. I don't always agree with her or her faith but I have known her to be predictably and ethically consistent, so if she said he was manipulating her and liked all the scenarios when that was the description I absolutely think that's what most likely happened.
  7. Dh suggests that after he scrubs all the moldy dishes that you consider using paper plates for him.
  8. Of course we do. JW's are fine with civil ceremonies, but not with participating in ceremonies of other faiths. The thing he wanted her to do was against her conscience and something he's been raised knowing she would never do, which is going to a religious ceremony in a different faith. He was trying to force her. She still wants a relationship with him. She said nothing at all about trying to get him to violate his own conscience and come back into the fold. She never even said he joined another church, and joining another church would be strange when you are angry that your own church isn't strict enough with their own beliefs, beliefs that other denominations don't have.
  9. So the dishes were in that state when DS was throwing a fit about not being able to go? bwahahaha, that changes my perception dramatically. I thought you were being vague, but not allowing your possessions to be essentially stolen and left to rot all around your property is not out of line with common sense. Clean the dishes. Stop leaving them to rot. Change your attitude and be responsible. Then talk to me next week.
  10. I don't believe in telling adults they need to relax. But 1) taking time away might be extremely restorative for you. And 2) I imagine this is something you will regret if you don't go. It's a very reasonable price. Why are you hesitating? What are you afraid of. Look into Dr Jason Fung (a nephrologist who recommends intermittent fasting and has written several books on reversing things like kidney damage with fasting).
  11. The most famous (and I think original) duck boots are from LL Bean. Do not get the non-insulated ones for a cold climate through. No matter how many layers of wool socks she wears they'll suck the heat right out of her feet if those boots are anywhere near slush or snow.
  12. I'm not assigning motive. I'm taking Scarlett's claims earlier in the thread (and in other threads about the girlfriend) at face value. And if you take her comments at face value he's being abusive by trying to control her in ways he has no right to control. Of course it's possible she is wrong and is taking his words and actions out of context. But I doubt it, primarily because of the way he is acting.
  13. He's aware her church teaches that this is a matter of conscience - and he's very aware of where her conscience is. So it is about forcing her to decide between him and her religion.
  14. What if he wasn't trying to be a jerk, he's just a headstrong kid who's trying to manipulate his mother's religious decisions because he no longer approves of her church? So he chose the church to force her to leave her church when he knew she didn't want to?
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