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SKL last won the day on February 19

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About SKL

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    Working Mom of 2

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  1. Definitely would not "ask" nor say anything that seems to demand an "explanation." Like "I didn't see that coming" which implies I had a right to be in the know or something. "Oh, I'm sorry" is fine. I think anything more would sound like prying, like trying to get a peek into the wreckage of the home. If you are not meeting the person and finding out from him/her, you don't actually need to say anything at all.
  2. Well if you noticed in the cartoon, the husband was entertaining the guest rather than leaving her sitting alone in the living room. Which IMO is arguably appropriate. Or do most people invite people in and then leave them sitting alone in a different room on their first visit? ETA I didn't previously notice your last 5 words in the first quoted paragraph - but I agree with Regentrude that I thought the wife invited the friend. And I was also wondering whether she made a mistake inviting the friend to arrive at a time when she was feeding and cooking. If I'm having a friend over, I'm going to try to make sure the timing works so I am sitting with my friend while she is here. Either I cook/feed early, or negotiate early for DH to do it, or it's so easy it does not require me to be away from my friend much. Unless my friend is the type who will come into the kitchen and take over the cooking or the feeding.
  3. Hi, my kids were given the HSPT by their Lutheran K-8 school as part of recruitment to the nearest Lutheran high school. I am curious how to view the results. So I have some questions.... What kind of student would be the norm for the HSPT? Would they be kids from private high-standards schools / seeking private high school scholarships, advance placement, or competitive admission? Or would there be a general cross section where "average" is similar to the "average" in a typical public school 8th grade? How common would it be for kids to prepare for the test? When I looked online, almost every link referred to test prep, like you need to do this if you are taking the test. My kids are going to the local public high school, and I assume that a below average score on the HSPT (with no test prep) does not mean the kid will fail in high school. Just hoping for a sanity check. 🙂
  4. Is anyone else wondering, "why didn't the woman ask for help"? Was she unwilling to admit she needed help? I say this because I've been that way at times ... and I have the scars to prove it. So ... what is the cost of asking, in front of your kids and friend - "DH, can you please feed Ralphie while I finish up this cooking?" Does the loss of the "I have everything under control" image outweigh the benefit of having help? Is there pressure in some people's lives to look like you can do it all? Also - is anyone else wondering why the friend just sat and watched this happen instead of going in there to help? Why are some women so distant from each other that they would rather watch the pot overflow than go invade another woman's territory?
  5. Man, it started getting dark at like 3:30pm! Too early! I got up early to drive the kids to school and help them with the stuff they procrastinated on yesterday. (I went to bed early yesterday!) I spent at least 3 hours on the phone today - 2 with the IRS - way too long!! Got a little work done. Bout to take a short rest lying down, and then get back up and do some AHG work before we drive there.
  6. The Invention of Hugo Cabret Not so happy stories but set in France (or partly): A Tale of Two Cities The Scarlet Pimpernel Les Miserables
  7. Check out the website It is focused on fighting the trend toward things like what your school is trying to do. They have various relevant research links etc. The main thing most people forget is the danger of treating our kids like helpless idiots. Kids need to be able to go places and do things and even work their way out of "dangers" sometimes. Otherwise they can't grow up.
  8. I agree. We like to be perfectionists, and some of us take on too much. I have a lot of stress in my life that is honestly chosen. Of course I didn't think to myself, "here's a great way to up my stress." But I felt like "oh those kids are doing this, my kids should to it too. My mom did this, I need to do it too. I always wanted to do xyz, my kids should do it. AND I did this as a kid, so my kids should do it." Also "yes today is insane, but if I just get my ducks in a row, tomorrow will be better." I always sucked at time management, and I still do. And there's the ridiculous amount of stuff my kids have, the hours I work, and stinking old age catching up with me. Not to mention bad habits.
  9. Yeah, I disagree / think differently on several levels. First, I don't agree that this is all because of conditioning. I believe the average woman is naturally more interested in doing those things, and many of us dreamed of that role for decades, were excited to take it on, and were even jealous of anyone trying to share at the same level. By the time some of us realize we are in too deep, we need to walk it back and give up some of the control / responsibility. The idea that we blame the men for this doesn't work for me. In my house, we are all women, and I don't blame others for the fact that I do xyz by default and always have. Second, I don't agree that the management is a full-time job, unless the family has a lot of kids or severe special needs in the mix. Having been a manager of my family and lots of jobs, I don't agree that when you become a manager, you stop doing the minutiae. That has not been my experience at all. Even when I do delegate tasks, I am responsible to train, supervise, and quality check to make sure things are done as they should be - which can be more work than doing it myself up to a point. Besides, often the detail work is the more satisfying work, even if I am also the manager. Third, the article completely ignores any area where dads carry more than 50% of the "mental load." That is just ignorant IMO. Fourth, it really doesn't suggest a solution other than bashing men and the establishment. I mean, maybe modern couples need to sit down and hash it out before any kids come on the scene - what kinds of control are the women willing to pass on in order to reduce their mental load? It is her responsibility as well as his to make sure the load she is taking on is manageable. It's insulting (to women) to suggest it's the man's responsibility to know all of this without having even discussed it with his wife. And women can communicate like adults, not by waiting until shit boils over and then throwing a tantrum. At work, if I let something on my to-do list go until it becomes a crisis, it is fair criticism that I didn't ask for help at the appropriate time. Same goes for home issues.
  10. My sister's kids and mine have had Kiwi and Tinker (the engineering crate choices). As far as I know, we always got both instructions and a second booklet that discusses the science etc. The "Deluxe" option is to add a book that relates to it - something published in the regular book market. We have never ordered the "deluxe" version. Possibly the person you spoke to is confused. I have had some billing confusions, particularly with making changes / adding a subscription, but they have always been amicably resolved. Just upgraded my kid to Eureka crate starting in January. We love Kiwi!
  11. (Just ftr, my kids' best male friend loves LOL dolls too. 🙂 My kid who likes them is not a girly girl ... I think her favorite thing about them is that they all squirt water from different orifices ....) I agree with trying for a unique gift if you can ... but most of my ideas require knowing something about the recipient. Maybe I am losing my touch, LOL. (No pun intended.)
  12. Just realized the actual schedule for the training is 9am-4:15pm ... means Kid2's plans may need to change .... Nothing is ever easy ....
  13. Howdy! It's going to be a busy day ... already has been starting at 12:30am. I just realized today is a free Professional Education day that I signed up for ... 8:30-4pm. I also have a bunch of work that is either a little late or due right now. Also garbage day (morning), I'll probably have to drive the kids for their activities from 4:30 to 8, and I am still hoping to do OCC work after that. That is what I'm remembering off hand. Done: Laundry - 2 loads washed. Reviewed spelling homework. Caught up on social media, emails, news. A little organizing and cleaning. Drinking 2nd cup of coffee. To do: Review math and grammar homework. Shower and hair wash. Finish processing the 2 loads of laundry; clean out the washer gunk. Accomplish at least a few work reports before the kids get up. Find out where I am going for CPE. Kid1 up early to complete math test & homework corrections. Help her complete them. Make sure the kids have key & instructions re after school. Take out the garbage. Kids off to the school bus (with band instruments, cheer practice clothes, & cash for snacks & for trumpet teacher). Quick cleaning of the kitchen. Pack bag & drive to CPE location. Work on my usual work while sitting in the room getting CPE credits. Probably need to drive my kid to horse riding & back. Probably need to drive other kid home from trumpet & pick up some food or eat out. Check out weekly papers in kids' school bags. Kids' homework, test study. OCC review/re-packing. Or maybe we just let this go until Saturday. AHG prep for tomorrow's meeting. Fill out papers re projects completed / in progress. Whatever else gets done. I hope I'm not forgetting anything....
  14. I know someone said no LOL Surprise, but to be honest, that would probably be my go-to for girls that age if I didn't know what they'd like. 🙂 Otherwise I would try for some fun crafts that result in useful items, like sewing kits or growing kits ....
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