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Teaching3bears

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About Teaching3bears

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    Hive Mind Level 4 Worker: Builder Bee

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  1. We do but they deal mostly with elderly, and have no experience with nonverbal kids with behavior problems. I am hoping for better health and better sleep too.
  2. We have a doctor's appointment this week. I don't know that it will help. The medication that has a side effect of sleepiness is making my son hyper and he is not sleeping enough and so he is in a bad mood. it's been a tough week homeschooling because he literally could not stop jumping and running. The lack of sleep is affecting his health. I found a respite worker who will probably come to my house before she is offered a new job. She is 20 and within 2 minutes of coming into my house she told me that she had ADHD, anxiety, depression , a few other things, and that she cannot remember or understand what people say to her because of a language processing problem and that her father abused her most of her life. She announced that she had only once received a mark higher than a D in school and DS12 went on about that after she left. She is on a bunch of medication but cannot remember to take them. She honestly seems like the best I have found lately. She was sweet and encouraging and sunshiny with the children. My concern is that DS's health has been so unpredictable that I would not leave her or anyone alone with him. if I stay in the house I am worried that I might end up in a quasi-caretaking role with her and I recognize that I am already doing my share of that with my kids.
  3. Would it help if you had a couple of her friends from the group with you when you when you were discussing this with her? That way they could show her that she would be accepted and included and it would feel to her like it was something they were doing together. Maybe the scout leaders could talk to the girls beforehand to explain how your daughter needed the wheelchair but does not want to feel left out or a burden. Not in a way of behind her back but rather in a way to encourage their kindness and sensitize them to her situation. Also, maybe you could arrange for them to go out for a treat with your daughter after the conversation. This might help them bond. I don't know if she is close friends with the girls in the group or just acquaintances but maybe something good can come of this.
  4. 2 separate things: When I was in high school and elementary school too, I spent a lot of time observing and evaluating other kids, how easily they learned, what subjects they were good at, how smart they were, what ways of thinking were a struggle for them, how easy it was for them to retain information, if they were creative thinkers, hard workers, lazy, uninterested, curious, good at following instructions, unorganized etc. I probably put more effort into this than actually learning school material though I did not do this on purpose. Does everyone do this? many people? Just me? When I meet people I am often reserved. I don't want to show myself until I know who they are, what are their values, beliefs, if they are a good person, the kind of person who likes to hurt others, if they are easily offended, how I can avoid hurting them and how to be kind to them, etc. I don't do this on purpose or with everyone. There are people I click with right away. I'm not sure that it's good to be like this but I think I have been this way since I was a little girl. Anyone else like this?
  5. Thanks. Sometimes they do express it. Sometimes I get the nicest hugs!
  6. Thanks. I am not exhausted but I am tired. My body in my late-forties is somehow able to deal with things better than in the past. A big problem is not being able to do chores first thing in the morning when I have most of my energy. I am 100% sure that I have not lost my mind and that I can think rationally. They do not have cystic fibrosis or CP. They both stopped speaking in early childhood after speaking very early and having large vocabularies. Their sensory problems are off the charts. Now there are a few medical problems. I don't want to talk about them all right now or go into details. I am wondering though about our air filter. We had a high quality one and the last furnace guy did not have a replacement and put in a low quality one and we were going to replace it but have not had a chance. All the places that sell it were not open yesterday. I have to remember to call them tomorrow. I am having allergy symptoms first time in years and DS is sniffling a lot and it is not a cold. Really it is affecting my sleep a bit so probably his too. Tomorrow DH will come home early and I will call about filter, go to bank for important tax thing and call nurse. I will have an hour. I do find this hard. DS did not eat all the peanut butter because he did not know it was the wrong thing to do. He certainly did. He has very low impulse control. And certainly, I'm sure there are people who don't have any kind of special needs who have eaten a jar of peanut butter in one sitting. LOL. It was not the weirdest thing he's ever done. I have not had their IQs tested. I'm sure they would measure very low or fail to complete it in any way but really they are the most intelligent people I have ever met. They are very out of touch with their bodies. For example, when DS17 was a baby he would point to his major body parts and label them proudly. This included "mowf". This skill went when he stopped talking. Now he cannot point to his mouth or any other body part or blow a candle. This is apraxia. DH puts locks on the fridge etc. every night. We have a white noise/fan machine but it is not always a good idea to use it for various reasons.
  7. Also, the medical problems have been more acute lately. I cannot do anything except sit quiet and watch them suffer and wait and that is torture.
  8. Thanks everyone. I can't answer everything you asked and I have already done most of the things you suggested. When the kids were younger I had bit more help and I spent days on the phone asking about services etc. Honestly, none of it was very helpful. my sons are doing much worse. From what they told me my sons would have way more services offered to them if their problems were less severe. They told me a) my sons need a 1:1. They do not have enough money to provide everyone with a 1:1. B) they don't have much hope for my sons because their problems are so severe that they don't think they will ever be independent anyways so it won't be money well invested. They don't have spaces for everyone in programs so they choose kids who are most promising. They told me to stay strong. Years ago I spoke to a mom with a severe child who was spending three hours a day body building so she would be stronger than her son when he grew. We have had my sons in a variety of recreation programs in the past. They are in a limited respite program right now but they could not go yesterday because they were not well enough. Over the years we have spent tons of money (literally enough to buy an additional home) on behavioral and other therapies. The therapists believed my sons had medical problems/pain that was interfering with therapy. They would call me to come pick them up early because their mood was bad/their behavior was bad/they were not into it or they looked sick. At the place that called the most there were 2 male and 2 female young, fit therapists. I think the therapy programs would have helped them if they had more of a learning difficulty and less sensory problems. They made no improvements. The problem is that the doctor specialists where we live have waiting lists close to a year and they don't have much time to spend when you do see them. We spent a week in the hospital last month because DS was admitted through ER. We only saw neurologists three times during that time for ten minutes each and it was a different one each time. We saw a pediatric team three times too but it was not helpful. Now there is a nurse I can call but she is only there until three and she only returns messages within 72 hours. The hospital is well-respected and well-funded. I can hire someone myself to do respite and be reimbursed up to a certain amount. We had a respite worker a few years ago. She needed quite a bit of support from me but I really liked her as a person but she got a full-time job. I have not found anyone else since then. I have been responding to several ads each week and it has taken up a lot of time. I have found there are two kinds of people looking for this kind of work. The first are young and enthusiastic to work with special needs but would rather work with small children. Also, they don't have cars and it takes a long time to get to our house without a car so when they figure that out they tell me they cannot do it. The other are people who are very much in need of money. They are usually older, have disabilities or health problems themselves that would not allow them to chase a hyper teen. They take a program at the community college because there is such a demand for this work. Maybe I sound picky or difficult. I am in touch with someone right now who seems enthusiastic and lives in my neighbourhood so it might work out. She seems just a couple of years out of high school and has only worked with preschoolers so not ideal because my oldest is almost eighteen but I will give her a chance. Homeschooling has been the best thing for my kids. By that, I don't mean staying at home but being able to be exposed to challenging and exciting content. They love to learn and are very intelligent. Mostly I posted for prayers and to vent. It does help. I appreciate you all.
  9. DS15 just started the sleep problems after coming from the hospital. I thought it might be from medication but they say no. He saw a neurologist in hospital but we won't see him again for a while. The pediatrician is separate but they do share some info. Maybe that is a care team. I can really only get in touch with anyone after DH comes home from work and that is too late. Last time I spoke on the phone DS17 managed to eat a whole jar of peanut butter (long story) which caused gastro problems and more sleep prob .... really I think the sleep is caused by gastro. I'm so tired.
  10. I had not heard of phosphatidylserine for sleep. Thanks. We don't have a care team. It's a nice idea. I am having trouble these days making any appointments and phone calls.
  11. We tried melatonin and it worked but caused severe medical problems for DS15 and we ended up in hospital. I am not sure what happened. I would consider it again but i'm not sure what's going on. He has had reflux and maybe it is waking him.
  12. DS15 (severe special needs) is waking up in the middle of the night and not getting enough sleep. As a result he is having bad moods and medical issues. He seems to wake when we turn on water at all in the house. DS17 (severe special needs) hardly slept last night and spent all day in bed until 5 pm. I am so worried about them. DS12 is away on a trip. We got total strangers to drive him. 😟 Whenever they are asleep I am worried I will wake them so I try not to move. When they are awake I am worried something bad will happen to them. Unfortunately my worries have not been unfounded. I am afraid to leave the house, use water, speak, put dishes away. We used to go out and do all kinds of things on weekends. Now we sit around and wait for one person or another's medical problem to be over. I feel like I'm in prison, like we all are. I miss living, traveling, talking to other people, going places, doing chores first thing in the morning, feeling free to leave the house. DH is always in a bad mood now and I can't remember the last time he smiled at me or said a kind word. I have a very long to-do list. It's frustrating that I can't get much done because I can't make phone calls or move around the house. I am eating so much chocolate. It has been hard to find help because my children are older and have severe problems and a bit because of where we live. Right now, I would not leave my sons with anyone anyways and having another person in the house would make more noise. I wish my sons had much better lives. I wish they had health.
  13. I bought it about a month ago at Ikea and it was doing so well. I think I overwatered it 2 days ago after I noticed the soil was very dry but it was getting taller all the time and had fresh lighter green leaves at the top. Today I noticed a dried leaf and 3 slimy leaves that had almost fallen so I pulled them off gently. Now the whole thing has fallen over on itself. I feel bad for it. Can I revive it?
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