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Teaching3bears

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About Teaching3bears

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    Hive Mind Level 4 Worker: Builder Bee

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  1. I read The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver. It was sitting on my shelf and I avoided it because I was not sure that I would like it. I found the beginning a bit slow but then I really got into it. I loved the writing and the characters! Which of her other novels were best? I also read most of 21 Lessons for the 21st Century by Yuval Noah Harari. I like books that try to predict what life will be like in the future.
  2. Exactly!!!! You explained it really well! Thank you.
  3. Yes! The neurologists, the neurology nurse, myself and my husband all think their bodies are very tired and need to sleep for medical reasons.
  4. Thanks for your concern. Several people have posted concerns. I can't address them all and I can't discuss everything on the forum. I think I have given the impression that I am in denial of things or not doing everything I can do or should be doing for my kids and myself but that is not the case. I have not posted much detail about most things because it would take me all day and I most of these things I have really addressed with professionals in great detail. So much so that it would take me forever to explain it all.
  5. I cannot schedule anything at a set time because there have been so many medical emergencies. It would be too much stress to have to phone and cancel during an emergency, or after while they are sleeping. Our helper is the best I could find and the only one willing to come after I contacted people people every week for 4 years (many hours of my time spent doing this). Still, she is a basket case. She didn't show up a couple of weeks ago. Later,she told me she just fell asleep. She has told me she has very bad anxiety. I don't know how she would react if something happened when she was at my house. Would I have to take care of her too? I don't really want a bunch of neurodiverse kids at my house. They require care. I'm too tired. My kids don't particularly like neurodiverse kids, they prefer neurotypical kids. I did think of starting a hiking group. If their medical problems got better I would. Their medical problems ... None of this has anything to do with me feeling invisible. It's summer. I walked by a house where people were sitting relaxed having a barbecue. It would be nice to go to a real barbecue at someone's home, dress nicely, have someone come up to me and hug me and say it's nice to see me and call me by name. It's been years. I never hear my name anymore because nobody knows me enough to use it. I'm not looking for solutions. I have such a long "to do" list and this list has become the focal point of my life after my kids. Adding to it would stress me out.
  6. Today was much like yesterday for us. We do listen to lots of audiobooks, mostly during mealtimes or on car rides. They do lifeskills as long as it is something that feels good to their sensory system. They like putting things away and laundry. I like reading to them. They understand everything. They have actually had trouble with the sound of my voice for the past couple of years because they prefer deep male voices but they put up with my voice because they love reading. Their favourite things are reading, music, eating, travel, hiking and going to cultural events and other excursions. We try to do these as much as possible but DS18's recent behavior and both of their medical problems which have impacted their sleep have made this harder. Because of the sleep unpredictability and the medical problems which are unpredictable I am finding it very almost impossible to do anything scheduled and even cancel in a timely manner. I find this hard because I am a person who likes to keep commitments and because it leads to disappointment for me and frustration on the part of others.
  7. So many posts! Thanks for all your ideas and concerns! I won't have time to answer everything. I like the idea of describing my day! You're right, there is no typical day. They are all so different and this makes it really hard to plan things. I will describe today because I remember it best: Special needs sons actually slept through the night, but I woke up at 5 am because I wanted to see what time it was because DS12 had an activity at 6 am (this is not typical at all, it is just for a little while). At 5:30 I got DS up and DH got up to change, give him premade light breakfast and drive him. 5:50-6:40:: DS15 woke up and went downstairs. I got books for him to read and sat with him and I think that is when I posted on WTM. I was in pjs and I hate sitting around in pjs but had no choice. 6:40-7:10: ate breakfast, showered and changed. 7:10-7:20: watched DS15 again and tried to tidy a bit. 7:20-7:30 asked DS12 about his morning and got him eating breakfast. He was in a bad mood because he was all stuffed up and he did not want to go to school. Convinced him to go and he feels better now. 8:15-8:30 gave DS15 clothes to change into, cleaned up kitchen, got a few things organized. 8:30-9:45 homeschooled DS15 (not academic stuff: mostly art and practical things) 9:45-10:00 Snack for DS15 and myself. 10:00 DS15 started to fall asleep so I got him to go upstairs. DS has been napping a lot since he was in the hospital. Yes, I have talked a lot doctor and nurse about this a lot. I would rather he nap than have a medical emergency. He has a bad cold right now too. 10:00-11:00 I wanted to make quiches but I did not want to make noise and I was also feeling very tired. I don't know if I have a cold or not. Anyways, I read a novel instead, 11:00 DS18 and DS15 woke up. I helped them with tooth brushing etc. and changed DS18. Gave DS18 breakfast and DS15 snack and made lunch quickly. Boys listened to music and read magazines. I did not know what to make but I took leftover soup from yesterday and added a bunch of ingredients and it made a very very yummy and filling new soup. DS15 ate it quickly but DS18 did not want to go into the kitchen for sensory reasons. It took him about 10 minutes to go into the kitchen but he ate quickly. They had two big snacks over the course of the afternoon, both aimed at soothing their colds. Usually we do a variety of things during the afternoon but today it just worked out better to read Sophie's World. I read this to DS18 when he was six and he was really excited to read it again even though he does not usually like reading books twice. During the course of the afternoon DS15 played with a basketball and exercise ball and DS18 walked around the house a couple of times. DS15 had some moments of anxiety so we worked on breathing. 4:20 DH and DS12 came home. I gave snacks to DS12. I spent a long time with DS12 while he pretended to be a robot. I convinced him to do homework. I blow-dried my hair, organized some laundry but did not do it and wrote this post. Other DSs played with balloons and read magazines. Cooked and ate dinner. Nothing bad happened today. I was worried about DS's stuffed nose but it went away. DS18 was smiling a lot today and laughing at my jokes and I was happy about that because he wasn't last week. He is not toilet trained but he had no accidents today so that was really good. Honestly, writing all this down has made me feel less invisible!!!!!! Thanks for asking!
  8. The age when women change is fast approaching and I think that is scaring me. It feels like my thirties and forties went by and my teenage boys still require the care of 18-month old babies. I had them in a private therapy program and it wasdisastrous. So expensive, they got nothing out of it and they got worse. They were constantly calling me to pick them up because they could not handle my kids. I was completely exhausted running back and forth. There is nothing wrong with the schools in my area. Most parents are very pleased with them. For a variety of reasons, they don't meet my kids' needs. Not because they are bad. Also, the schools tend to run between 8 and 4:00. There are no schools open at 3:00 am or whenever my child happens to be awake that day/night. Because of their medical problems I cannot wake them from sleep. There are no good respite workers who will run to my house in the middle of the night if he is not sleeping. I have found that anyone who is that desperate for work is bad news. They are in a recreation program on weekends but end up not going half the time because of health issues. I have no problem putting my other son in lots of programs. They enrich his life, give him new skills, and let him make friends. With my two who have severe special needs, I have learned that putting my needs above theirs will hurt them and make things worse for me in the long run. I know that my decisions are the right ones for my family . This does not mean that I don't feel sad sometimes.
  9. So true, unfortunately. I have to be the strong one. I take my youngest son, the one without special needs, out for ice cream and stuff. My sons with special needs sometimes have dangerous behaviour in parking lots and they can steal people's food in public. It's just too stressful and not safe to do alone. I am fit-looking, though becoming stiff due to genetics and lack of exercise. I just feel short anyways and there's nothing I can do about that. I hardly ever have time to talk on the phone though I used to like talking on the phone a lot and DS15 cries or runs out of the room whenever I speak due to sound sensitivity. I only have one friend anyways.
  10. I have a weird life as a mom of 3 boys, two of whom have severe special needs. The older they get, their needs seem to increase and I find myself leaving the house less and less. Even finding a chance to go grocery shopping has become challenging and I have to do it quickly. I cannot take a class. There are yoga drop-in classes and though I have said I would go I have not found an opportunity in the past year and a half. I have so much to do in the house and it never gets done but on nice days, especially, I wish I had somewhere fun to go that was not a store. We have a respite worker now but she isn't great (the other day when I came home I could not find one of my sons) though she is the best and only person I have found in four years. I don't know that I really want to go anywhere because I don't know where I would go but sometimes I wish I had some kind of social group or that I was invited to parties where I could dress up (I do wish that I could travel long-term to far-off destinations but I could never leave my boys). Last week my DH and I went on a date. It was really me who wanted to go. He said he thought we should clean out maggots from the compost bin instead. I dressed nicely and I think I looked nice but I don't think he noticed. He never uses my name anymore and calls me "you" only. When my youngest son was about 6 he asked me what my name was other than mommy because he had never heard anyone call me anything else. He knew DH's first name. Anyways, it was kind of boring to go on the date and that made me sad. We used to take the boys to community and cultural events and even travelled in years past. Sometimes this went well and sometimes they screamed the whole time. Now, it is harder because they are often sick in bed so we do this much less. i have attended some of my youngest son's extra-curriculars. The other parents are not usually very social. Also, I have developed feelings of inadequacy around others sometimes. At the sport activities, I feel like the other parents are all much taller and athletic than me and care about the game more. I know how stupid this sounds. Sometimes I have talked to other parents but sometimes things have been so scary with my other sons' health at home that I am kind of walking around in shock. Anyways, I don't really know where I am going with this post. I was not a homebody before this life was thrust upon me. I used to need to get out of the house every day but I learned to live this way. Neither do I have the kind of personality that attracts people like a magnet so I guess that does not help. My oldest developed his problems 16 years ago so it has been a long time of being invisible.
  11. I read The Healing: One Woman's Journey from Poverty to Inner Riches by Saeeda Hafiz. Easy quick read which was what I could manage right now. The book is the author's honest and emotional telling of her quest to have a healthy life.
  12. We recently had to get my son movie tickets online and it took about 20 minutes to figure it out and worry about which seats to choose and then we had to print it. I just don't see how this is easier than going 5 minutes earlier and buying the tickets at the theatre and choosing a seat when you enter and can see the physical theatre. There are so many tasks that others seem to like doing online that I find a chore. For example, paying for scouting activities. I would rather just hand over the money to the leader at the beginning of the meeting than go onto PayPal or some other site and worry about passwords. Last month at the grocery store an employee asked me to use self-checkout. There were 2 people ahead of me. It took quite some time because some items would not scan directly and I had to ask for help and on one occasion the helper had to ask for help. I looked at my old line up and the two people in front of me plus three other people had gone through by the time I was done. What I like about shopping online is that some items cannot be found in stores but when I do shop online it ends up taking almost as long to fill out the information and make my decisions so that I have enough to get free shipping. I also find it more unpleasant to fill out my name, address and other info than spend time walking through a store and have a cashier do the work. Am I the only one? Plus I had some recent experiences with Amazon and Walmart where I did not receive an item. I had to email at least 2 people in both cases to get a refund. I know I have to get with the times and embrace the online life don't I? Everyone else is.
  13. He looked taller when he woke up! (Probably my imagination.) He eats tons of fibre and drinks tons of water. he ate a whole head of lettuce the other day in one sitting and tried to steal kale. I just started him on a fibre supplement. he stayed up late last night.
  14. He's up now and smiling. He ate one whole meal's worth of food and drank a lot of water. He had been very constipated all week and he seemed to have dumped it all yesterday afternoon and I think that made him tired.
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