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gardenmom5 last won the day on August 10 2016

gardenmom5 had the most liked content!

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About gardenmom5

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    Amateur Bee Keeper
  • Birthday May 7

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    in the valley between the water surrounded by mts
  • Interests
    gardening, genealogy, decorating

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  • Biography
    Mom of 5
  • Location
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    gardening, needlework
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  1. riiight. I've had side effects from drugs that I had to really hunt down obscure side effects to say "yes, it was the drug causing this!". most are only familiar with "common" side effects. is this nurse overseen by a MD? talk to them. if not, demand another drug.
  2. gardenmom5

    Traveling to Vancouver, BC

    I just chatted with dd, who was up in victoria having tea at the empress yesterday. her comment was - don't do it. very overpriced, and there was an undercurrent they want you to move out so they can turn over your table, and get as many people through as fast as they can. she's previously done tea at the butchart gardens. she said it was fabulous, seconds, and no pressure to eat and go.
  3. it really depends upon what my discretionary income is. because you do have to consider hotel, and car, and meals too. if your dh is ok with the money - take a deep breath, and go.
  4. I'm sorry - I hope you get what you need for your children.
  5. gardenmom5

    Student loans and mandatory wage garnishment

    i think the one with the employers garnishing a paycheck is inappropriate. it's not the employers job. I can see that leading to employers not wanting to hire someone with student loans. and who is to decide what is "discretionary"? one of the reasons tuition/college costs have sky rocketed - are availability of "student loans". I think it would be better for kids to get some education in making better choices in what they decide to major in, and what school they decide to attend. I personally know a few too many who have degrees in subjects that dont' lead to a good job. (or won't pursue to a terminal degree that would lead to a good job.) I do know a family of music majors - but they all double majored in something that also pays their bills. kids also need to learn about spending money wisely. one of 2dd's grad school classmates had $200K+ in loans. even for an out of state student, that was high. (though medical and dental can be much higher.) maybe I"m biased- both girls have all their loans paid off (even 2dd's, and dsil's grad school loans. they paid his mba as he went.) both boys will graduate in june with minimal debt.
  6. gardenmom5

    Puppy food

    dogs should never have chicken bones. they splinter and can pierce their GI. much as puppy loves chicken meat/broth-on--kibble - it gives him diarrhea.
  7. gardenmom5

    Why, why whyyyyy can't they just get along????

    I grew up in a family where fights were frequent, and the feeling of being pitted against each other to gain approbation - strong. My mother (only child) read so many idiotic parenting books that said to let kids fight it out - she did nothing to intervene. ever. as children, we had strained relations at best. as adults - it's barely Christmas card relationships. I took a more hands on approach with my now adult children - and they have a good relationship with each other. It gives me great joy to watch them as they have fun together. it sounds like they are dragging you into the middle - and you're going. reacting, as opposed to controlling, the situation. I do take age of the children having a dispute into account - younger siblings will get more support than an older one. however - I will find out who started it. if the younger one started it to provoke the older one into getting into trouble - I was unsympathetic to any provoking child. I would discuss with an older reacting sibling a more constructive way to handle such situations. e.g. when they were preschool/toddler - I told 1dd that she was allowed to hold 2dd's hands if she was hitting her, she didn't think it was enough. however, when she realized 2dd was mad with just her hands being held - so she couldn't hit - 1dd was happy to just hold her hands. I knew a dear sweet lady who had two of her "problem" grandchildren for a week. one was always doing something to the other one to provoke a response, and at home - the responding child would always get in trouble (which breeds more resentment as they were trying to protect themselves).... she watched, and after she was sure what was happening - she let the provoking child know that if ANYTHING happened - HE would be the one in trouble (even if he didn't actually start it that time.). knowing she meant business - the provoking child did nothing while they were at her house, and both children had a great visit. - she was also the grandma that had super soaker fights. I've found that more fighting was an indication they needed some more positive attention than they were getting. I didn't bring the fighting into it, just spent more positive/fun time. squabbles were mostly my boys, now responsible adults and great friends. they have stopped me from complaining about my perceived harshness of their "correcting" dudeling with "mom, this is how boys relate. chill." they all have a good relationship, and even now - they will do things of their own initiative with dudeling to have fun with him.
  8. Suzanne deason yoga conditioning for weight loss. But it's a DVD. However, it is aimed at middle age over weight and out of shape. Good all round practice. She has assistants each demonstrating three levels of modification. I found when I was comfortable with this practice, I could easily move on to a typical average dvd practice My experience is most "beginner " workouts are aimed at the already fit, just new to yoga. Eta, and I still reaped many of the benefits of yoga. Look up 77 benefits of yoga. I'm on my phone so can't link. Jus a week of every day, I could breathe better and was more flexible. Always listen to your body.
  9. gardenmom5

    Traveling to Vancouver, BC

    transportation in the downtown core is good. we stayed quite a ways out one time - right next to the skytrain station so it was easy (but time consuming) to go into the city. best Chinese food is going to be in Richmond. mcD's has rice balls. 😜 sun-yat sen Chinese garden. Vancouver aquarium - excellent aquarium. they have a pool of manatees. you're allowed to put your hand in (after sterilizing your hands), and they will swim past. the babies are curious and will swim right up to you. (drives me nuts to hear people say seattle has a good one... uh, no. I'd rather go to BC. not even close.) it's in Stanley park - bigger than central park in nyc. you can rent bikes, or just walk along the sea wall. there are also carriage "tour" rides that will take you around, as well as learn some history. you can walk along the waterfront. science world MacMillian Space Center Totem poles at UBC Granville island is tourist central - queen Elizabeth park is wonderful. VICTORIA you can use the v2v ferry from downtown Vancouver to downtown victoria. only runs in the summer. (hydrofoil ferry - faster) there's also regular float plane service. (fastest) rent a car to go to victoria. the ferry from tswassen is very nice - the ferry goes to the saanish peninsula - which is about 20? - 30? minutes from victoria. once you get to victoria - you can park and use the hop on hop off bus. you can also use the victoria harbor ferry (aka: pickle boats) to get around the waterfront. on sundays? in the summer they do a water ballet. (also sat in July August.) lots of places for high tea.  the empress is #1. provincial Royal BC museum butchart gardens - you can take a tour bus, or your rental car to get there.
  10. gardenmom5

    Verb usage in kids

    it sounds like the whole family would benefit from reading real stories on a more frequent basis. not picture books. More verbal interaction with adults with good speech and vocabulary. more focus by the adults with actually clearly enunciating their own speech. I would also suggest when he wants something, have him use full words. it can be easy to just give them what they want, and they don't get the speech practice
  11. gardenmom5

    Verb usage in kids

    how much exposure does he have to correct verb usage by adults? how much is he exposed to correct enunciation by adults? how often is he read to? what level books are read to him? this is the first way children learn about proper language usage. has he had a hearing screen to make sure his hearing is good? I would get answers to those questions before jumping to a slp. eta: the volume thing (and the not well understood speech thing) could also indicate a hearing issue. just last night dsil was relating his experience with a man who was always very loud. then he got a hearing aid for each ear. he became so quiet (because he could hear himself) they had to tell him to talk louder...
  12. gardenmom5

    Anyoneone dealing with PTSD/trauma personally?

    my ND likes integrative therapeutics Cortisol Manager.
  13. gardenmom5

    Anyoneone dealing with PTSD/trauma personally?

    are you talking about adrenal support? or ones that contain adrenal cortex? is she under a lot of stress? having fight/flight response? - adrenal support would be good. it should be relaxing, not put you to sleep. (NEVER do adrenal cortex unless you've done a 24hr spit test, and your dr says to take it.) b-vitamins are always a good thing, stress or not. I've had dudeling on them 2x per day for years.
  14. gardenmom5

    how do you.... npd ?

    I worked on forgiving her for years. I don't want her living in my head. I made a lot of progress, incremental, but forward. I'm now doing emdr, and making progress at getting out the stuff that still triggers me. that's liberating. (I did not have a grave dance to the tune of ding dong the wicked witch is dead. joked about it, but I didn't do it.) she's been dead for years, but pictures of "that smile" could still trigger me. other things that she really drilled into me, could still trigger me. I joked I was like one of pavlov's dogs. the training is hard to overcome. That's why I posted the thread - I had been trained I was always making mts out of molehills, selfishly trying to get attention. sometimes I could see clearly, and sometimes I didn't know what was right side up. I have finally figured out what I can do to talk myself down when I get like that. and yeah - she really was that bad. I can have compassion that she had a miserable life - but her life was miserable because those were her choices. when I was younger, I would fantasize about how would I respond if she came to me, and groveled while begging for forgiveness? I realized - it was irrelevant. it didn't matter how sorry she was, I still had to clean up a huge mess. my focus is on cleaning up the mess she made.
  15. gardenmom5

    how do you.... npd ?

    I am in therapy for cptsd from my narcissist. I'm well aware of the reasons for anger. it's not healthy. boundaries are a good first start. not playing their games is liberating. eta: dr. les Carter - his comments on dignity when dealing with a narcissist. the whole thing is good, but the point really starts coming together around 9:36.
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