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Everything posted by gardenmom5

  1. Is it possible your son might also have felt overwhelmed at having another sister for a big trip? He's only 22. "winner" isn't what I'd call him. agree your friend is an enabler of her own sons. Hopefully your son will "grow up". eta: why would you even consider not telling your dh? I'm confused on that point.
  2. our relationship is pretty restricted without being no-contact. (yet.) he's not allowed in my house, and I refuse to meet with him anywhere I can't just get up and leave. I have no issue changing the subject, or simply saying goodbye and hanging up when/if he calls. the only reason I heard from him was his youngest dd was avoiding him at the baby shower. and the two of us had been talking because she really wanted to talk to me. when he "asked" (in quotes because it really was a demand) I said "this and that" - and went rambling off in other directions about inconsequential things. when pressed, I ignored it. (and was informed ignoring a question is "aggressive".) then he sent me this thing on pathological parenting - to which I pointed out he's sent it to me before - in response to when I shard how my kids were doing, and asked him how his kids were doing. I think it was because he has such a lousy relationship with his kids. (I dont' tell him about my kids anymore.) he wants relationships, but he has such disdain for other people he's not capable of having a healthy relationship with anyone. even his son - with whom he's had the best relationship - said, bluntly: he married a Vietnamese woman who barely speaks English, is the same age as his kids, and has limited education and marketable job skills - so, three ways in which he can dominate her. telling him "it's none of your business - your kids are adults", etc. - is just holding up a red cape to incense the bull. not worth it.
  3. I went to a baby shower for my brother's son on Saturday night. one of his daughter's cornered me as she really wanted to talk - she's not speaking to her dad right now (she regrets calling him at father's day. they did counseling together last year - until the counselor cut it off because my brother is so toxic.) and is also avoiding him. she's been saving his texts in case she has to file a "no-contact' order. It was great to see his kids - and they were thrilled to see me (and my sister) because my brother had pretty much interfered with contact between my sister and me, and his kids. his kids want contact... my brother is the one who doesn't want us to have contact. so - he is now sending me emails demanding to know what we were talking about (none of your business - I rambled off in other directions and refused to answer. so, he's demanding to know why I won't answer. because your daughter is an ADULT!). while I think my brother is deeply insecure - he's also narcissistic to a toxic degree. and since I won't answer his questions - he's telling me how closed minded I am, and how refusing to answer is a form of aggression (actually dear - it's because "don't try and teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time and annoys the pig."). the irony of him going on about how he describes his ex's as narcissistic goes over his head.... same with him telling me how closed minded I am because I won't listen to his conspiracy theories and absolutely nutty "spiritual" beliefs (oh - and I'm not spiritual because I won't share my "spiritual experiences" with him... no dear - it's not casting my pearls before swine.) ssssscccccrrrrreeeeeaaaaammmmm. there's a reason when my counselor asked me what I'd *really* like to say to my brother, it involved very vulgar profanities (which made the counselor jump - because I do NOT talk that way. ever.) (glad we were using the emdr light board. wow. just... wow.) it was really great to see his kids - and they were all very happy I was there. I even had some nice chats with his 1st ex-wife. (before they divorced, she told me I was "the sane one in the family".
  4. keeping them from eating my lawn and garden - consider a fence as wildly impractical. (the terrain is very unfriendly to fencing, among other reasons.) the rabbits showed up - in abundance - 2-3 years ago. and they just keep increasing. I'll hit the grocery store and try dave's insanity.... then I can try other things if that doesn't make a difference.
  5. has anyone done an after market android auto installation in a Toyota? (I didn't buy a 19/20 where they're FINALLY including it.) the navigation is super annoying, and I'm not impressed with the maps - so, I want my phone... I do have features I don't want to lose (like my cameras....) anyone done this? where did you go? what did you use?
  6. dh doesn't like the "Yukon" - as it's too lopsided. we may or may not end up getting a tree this year. but will keep looking.
  7. one of the things this area is famous for - is the undergrowth. without undergrowth to hold the soil on the slopes, we'd have a serious erosion problem. (we have areas with no cover that has an erosion problem.) too many slopes, and too much rain that encourages undergrowth.
  8. dh would veto that alpine. the narrowest I'm looking at is 64" at 9'. then there's the Biltmore that's only 8' or 10'... the one I like - that's not in stock - is 66". we'll see... at least the widest are "only" 76", whereas on another site they were 80".
  9. I did the notify. fingers crossed. there were a couple (mt. and Biltmore), but meh.... now - I want to smell the noble or the alpine..... the alpine fir I had in my yard, died. (construction up the street changed the underground water flow) I loved smelling that thing when the sap was moving on a summer day. dh got a REALLY fat/thick noble one year. (real). 2dd was 14 months, and climbing everything in site. we joked it could defend itself from her. (it would have been a challenge for cats.)
  10. I have a vaulted ceiling - 7 1/2' is just too short. and... I really don't want to do lights. BH does have an alpine balsam.... it does look like something you'd see at the tree line..... dh would probably say it looks like a snoopy tree (he did about a different one. - that I actually liked better.) maybe I didn't scroll through their site as much as I thought - I found this one.   of course, it's not in stock.... (GRRRRRR). kinda pricey though.
  11. sheered = the "perfect" pyramid. they're dense, and very hard to decorate. they don't look like a tree you'd actually find in nature. (but I don't like pruned azaleas either) I hate them. that is the dominant style right now. I've been on their sites - as well as a number of manufacturers sites. and Costco has their trees up. same tree - just range from 7 1/2' - 12'.
  12. I've been watching youtube videos, and one mentioned that one (or dog hair from a groomer). but the rainy season is starting here. one I found interesting, then I'm telling dh to try - is dave's insanity sprayed around the lawn and garden with an ortho sprayer. (the guy who gave it as a tip - threw away a pan he used with it once, because he couldn't get it out.) use goggles and a face mask. it gets in the air from spraying. (and maybe even painter's shoe covers so you don't end up tracking it in your house.) there was one guy in the comments whose dad used a LOT of cayenne pepper to keep the neighbors dog from using his lawn to do his business, every day. (after speaking with the owner). the dog took one sniff - and never came back.
  13. I'm tracking width of each of the trees. I've seen 63" - 80" so far for 9', and none of those are "narrow". I'm less concerned about tip count - I detest sheered trees, and it seems the more tips the more it looks like a sheered tree. I'm very focused on shape. probably fewer lights rather than more. the last couple years we've done my "snowflake" tree, not my eclectic school art day to Christopher radko, 'vintage' to modern... I looked at trees at all the stores last year -I didn't like any of them. (even Costco's was more "sheered look".) I'd seen one two years ago - when I wasn't buying one - at lowes? homedepot? that was really promising eta: the tree I currently have - I finally took a pair of 'pruners' to it and cut out a bunch of branches.
  14. does anyone have a good way to do so? apparently, the coyotes aren't as plentiful around here as they used to be. and the nesting pair of eagles are just a bit too far south, and I'm not seeing the hawks as often (though there was something screeching nearly every day for a couple weeks) no more roaming neighborhood dogs. - and dd's dog doesn't spend enough time outside here (though come Christmas/January - puppy should be arriving and there will be more time outside as I'll be bringing them both to my house during the day.)
  15. reminds me of when one of the parents at the kids elementary school came to do science demonstrations for the older kids. (he's a chem prof). things went wrong - and went BOOM. when he could hear again.... the kids were screaming "do it again!".
  16. you can use a spray bottle of water - they can't see the spray bottle! - when they bark inappropriately, spray in the face - then get the bottle out of sight. it will distract them long enough to stop barking. may or may not start up again, but eventually they'll learn to not bark when it's inappropriate. (frankly - sometimes it is appropriate. if someone is poking around your backyard - you want your dog to bark.)
  17. yeah - fake trees lose needles too...…. at least they're not covered with bugs when you bring them in the house. except.... it's 7 1/2 feet. I'm looking for a 9' minimum. part of me misses my 11' tree.. the other part of me is glad to be rid of it. (the going up and down 8' ladders - and still having to stretch- to decorate it.) while I say I would be willing to do lights(it's unlit) - I hate doing lights.
  18. grocery delivery? amazon pantry same day delivery?
  19. I've been looking at trees for a while, and last year - dh wanted to wait for "sales after Christmas". um honey, good trees sell out before Christmas. so, I'm looking now. I've found the most gorgeous tree, it looks like a real, NOT sheared, nobel fir.... it's 7 1/2'. almost, it makes me want to downsize to a 7 1/2' tree. it's not lit, so I would even be willing to put lights on the thing. cry. cry. cry.... so far, I've found some that are tolerably attractive in the 9 - 10' range...
  20. I like how for Finland does fines by percentage of a person's net-worth, not a flat rate.
  21. I don't think it's hawthorne. It looks like it has actually put out flowers this year - but I don't remember seeing them. - you can see the clusters of dead flowers.
  22. round. I tried to include a close up of the stem. just want to add I'm positive it's not a berry vine. (in case someone wants to go there.)
  23. I deleted the picture to reduce confusion. I actually cropped one of this one to cut off as much kinnikinnick as I could to reduce confusion.
  24. the bigger plant. I planted the kinnickinnik two years ago.
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