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TechWife last won the day on November 28 2018

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  1. Some thoughts off of the top of my head: How did they "check" to see if he had depression? He sure has a lot of the traditional warning signs. I would continuously check on this. I also recommend they screen for suicide ideation. It's better to screen for that than to avoid the subject. Asking someone if they have ever thought of committing suicide does not cause someone who is not suicidal to become suicidal. If the answer to that question is yes, then they need to seek help immediately. There are follow on questions to that - specifically is whether or not they have a plan to commit suicide. How about anxiety? I think it's pretty common for teens to "choke" when they realize how closely the world outside the schoolhouse doors is looming. There is an awful lot of pressure on high school students these days. Has he had a recent change in relationships - lost some good friends or a girl friend? Gained a bunch of new friends? Recently had participation in a sport reach it's end of high school conclusion? Has he experienced a known trauma - car accident, loss of someone close, personal illness, illness of close friend or family member? Has he been affected by news events involving people around his age? Has someone in his school recently experienced a tragedy that may be affecting him? Have they screened for drug & alcohol use/abuse? As in run actual urine or blood tests? Have they screened for other physical health problems? It's not unreasonable to schedule "one last physical" with the pediatrician. The parents can call ahead and let the MD know of the problems so he can do appropriate screenings for depression, abuse, assault, and yes, drugs & alcohol use. Has he engaged in any self harm behaviors - cutting, hair pulling, chewing, burning himself with cigarettes, etc.? You mentioned a therapist - is this a licensed therapist or someone who "coaches" for executive function skills? If the latter, it sounds like a licensed therapist may be in order. At this point, I don't think any type of punishment is appropriate. I do think it's an "all hands on deck" to try to remedy the situation. Does the high school guidance counselor have any input? Asking the teen what he thinks would help is paramount at this point, obviously. After mental/physical health issues are addressed, then the parents need to decide what is acceptable to them and present the options to him. It may seem like quitting his job is an obvious intervention, but whether or not that is a good idea for this individual teen, I don't know. There are numerous psychosocial factors that play into that decision and it is best left to the family with professional guidance if they want it. Getting my son to do his work all through high school was a struggle. I can empathize with the parents, but I am afraid my experience has taught me there are no easy solutions. The "failure is not an option" mentality wasn't helpful for my son because he certainly thought failure was a very viable option. Whether or not they take that approach is again, based on so many factors that only his family will know the answers to. I would encourage this teen's parents to get counseling themselves in order to be able to get strategy ideas and be unified in their approach as well as how they process their own expectations that may or may not be met so that they can come through the situation themselves in as healthy a manner as possible. I think that is something that is often neglected when there are struggling children. The parents are struggling to and may need a variety of supports themselves to make it through.
  2. Icon, maybe, but only in that it is recognizable. Out of sync with it’s surroundings, most definitely. It definitely detrracts from the architecture that surrounds it, which is sad. In person, the pyramid looks plastic to me and the glass is cloudy & dirty, which makes the pyramid as a stand alone piece less appealing to me.
  3. I use my iPad for this reason. I like the YouBible app because it’s easy to navigate during Sunday School when we are flipping around a lot. I like Bible Study Tools when I study because it’s easy to navigate to the word study resources.
  4. I’ve been doing Precept Bible studies for years and am a Precept Upon Precept leader & can say that Kay Arthur isn’t Calvinistic. I’m always interested in the variety of studies that are out there - there seems to be “something for everyone.” It’s a great thing that people are able to find materials that meet them where they are, I think. I really liked the book Crazy Love & didn’t know there was a Bible study for it. I read it years ago when it first came out. Laura Story and Andy Stanley are much lighter fare than appeals to me. Where you describe Kay Arthur’s studies as tedious, they appeal to me because they teach reliance on the Word as the primary source and their in depth nature. I can spend hours at a time studying the Bible, though.
  5. Check pricing. Costco is actually getting great reviews on their hearing aids - Consumer Reports recommends them. I'm sure they don't have every type of hearing aid, but it's worth exploring to see if they have what is needed. The cost savings may very well make up for membership expenses and travel to a Costco.
  6. It's my understanding that it doesn't function as a Parish. I didn't see anything in her story that makes me think otherwise. There are Priests assigned there and it is the home of the Catholic Church in France, but it's my understanding that the building is a consecrated church, but functions for the benefit of the tourists, including the religious services provided by the Catholic church. Certainly, I imagine, the Paris residents attend mass there if they want to (there is mass at least daily, as well as vespers), but I don't think they can be baptized, attend CCD, be confirmed, married & have other benefits of Parish life available through that location. I am absolutely open to be wrong on this, though. I did some quick searching as a result of your question (I'm working from my memory of my visit there) and didn't see anything definitive one way or another.
  7. I think it's going to be a struggle - someone is going to take point - the building is owned by the French government and the Catholic Church is allowed to use it in perpetuity. I assume it will be a concerted effort between the two with the French government having the final say in the decisions. There is merit in recreating the look of the building and there is merit in modernizing it to an extent in order to prevent future disasters as much as possible. The building has a storied history - it hasn't always and only been a Catholic church. At one point, it was used for storage. So, yes, over time, the building has had some changes that reflected the culture at the time. I think the biggest challenge is going to be preserving the stone structure - it has been falling apart for a long time - that's why it was under renovation. If I had my way, I'd vote for temporary measures to prevent further damage, followed by a clean out, preserving as much of the materials as possible. Then, work on the structure of the building itself to make sure it is as stable as possible - the cracks, falling gargoyles, etc. need to be repaired. I think we should use modern materials whenever possible to do this if they will add longevity to the building, but it should be done as discreetly as possible. Add a sprinkler system if & where it is appropriate. I am a traditionalist, generally, so I think visually, it should look exactly like it did when the fire started and with the changes & improvements that were planned with the renovation that was underway. I don't think the idea that it is a church should be scrapped at all - while it didn't function as a Parish, it did function as a church, with multiple services daily as well as making priests available to function in a pastoral role to the multitudes of visitors that came. I hope that with the agreement that is in place with the Catholic church, changing it's form and function in a significant way, one that reflects a post-Christian culture, would not be possible. To those who want to modernize it aesthetically - they should see the "modern" Protestant church buildings going up in the US. They are basically warehouses and they are ugly. They do nothing to draw one's attention to God. It's really sad.
  8. A 529 is well worth it for all of the reasons regentrude stated.
  9. The Bible is full of exhortations for Christians to "stand." Ephesians 6:10-17; Romans 14:4; Exodus 14:13; 2 Chronicles 20:9; Isaiah 7:9; several verses in Job about him standing in his faith. Maybe that is where this person is coming from? Bible verses that show that God does indeed carry us at times: Isaiah 40:11; Isaiah 63:9; Deuteronomy 1:31; Isaiah 46:4 I think it's a sappy poem, but I also think that these verses back up the idea that when we cannot go in our own strength, Jesus does enable us to continue on thorough our faith in Him. I want to take a moment to address this phrase from your post "no one in our group would dare ask bc of this person's status in the community." Please know that no one is ever above question. God created us as equals before Him. The Holy Spirit that teaches this person, teaches each of us the very same truth. God doesn't play favorites. You have equal authority as this other person does before God. Whatever that person's status in the community that makes him/her unquestionable, it is a status conferred by men, not God. No person is above question. It is thinking that someone is above being questioned opens the door to allow abuse, and that abuse can be spiritual, emotional or physical in nature. When people are above question, they have too much power over those who want to ask them questions. Please think carefully about the nature of this faith community. You should not ever be in a position where you think you cannot question someone.
  10. I have two options to suggest, I highly recommend both of them. The first option would be any book in the "Lord Series" by Kay Arthur. They are topical devotional studies. The length of the studies varies and they are divided up into daily study for five days per week. They are a good bridge between devotional reading and studying - containing elements of both. These studies take 20-30 minutes per day. There are DVD lessons available, but they are optional. The second option would be any book in the "New Inductive Study Series" also by Kay Arthur. They are book studies - covering one or more books of the Bible in a survey format. They are set up as 13 week studies, with six days of study for each week, each day taking about 30 minutes to complete. This series is more study than devotional in nature. After you look at the descriptions, let me know if you have any specific questions. ETA: These books are available from Precept Ministries or through Amazon and a variety of other sellers. If you look at Amazon, you can use the "see inside" feature to see what they are like.
  11. This is a beautiful, short piece that sums up my thoughts at a time when I am unable to speak eloquently myself. I encourage you to read the whole piece, it truly is short & succinct. “Where creation—stone, glass, wood, fabric, metal—has for a millennia been ordered in one space toward the resurrection, it is natural for the body of Christ to mourn this loss, to seek to restore this sacred house, to renew its standing as a sign (before its arrival) of the world that’s coming to this world.”
  12. I think it's fairly common for teens to be on BCP. There is definitely a reduced stigma associated with being a sexually active teen as compared to when I was a teen, so teens are probably more comfortable asking their PCP for it when needed. Birth control is something that the PCP (or any provider) doesn't have to discuss with the parent, so they can prescribe it when they deem it appropriate. I know they help my acne and they also stabilize moods during my period. I do know a teen that is on a really strong medicine for acne, Accutane. Her dermatologist required her to be on BCP before it could be prescribed because it is known to cause serious birth defects. That may be the connection to clear complexions and birth control that you are seeing.
  13. We moved ours. It’s cruel to abandon a cat. Do an internet search on “how to move a cat” and you’ll find like to of tips. Our once outdoor cat became an indoor cat when we moved because we moved to a more urban setting and there were more cars.
  14. The HOA should be a separate, independent corporation from the builder. The more homes the builder sells, the more control actually goes to the residents. The builder should, at some point, loose control of the HOA because they will no longer own the majority of the lots in the neighborhood. After all of the lots are sold, the builder should be out entirely. In all cases, the money should be going to the HOA, not the builder.
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