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About kbutton

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  1. My family is currently making bags/cloths to replace Christmas wrapping paper (as cost allows or thrift store finds emerge). I sometimes make homemade lotion, though using nicer soap has led to a lot less need for lotion overall. I use about 1 part beeswax to 2 parts fat (the fat is half solid-ish fat such as shea butter and half liquid fat, such as sweet almond oil) and drops of essential oil that you like (or none). Less wax, and the same thing can be used for lip balm, as long as you choose an oil that is okay for such things. You can also use grassfed beef tallow to make a harder lotion that is supposed to be good for sensitive skin. My husband has made lye soap a couple of times for me. It's good for clothing stains, sensitive skin, or to be used in homemade laundry detergent. I have rendered grass fed beef fat into tallow for making french fries. Yum!
  2. kbutton

    Aggressive men

    Agreeing with the idea that he should stop because you don't like it. If you've said stop when he's doing it vs. saying, "Don't do it anymore at all," maybe he needs a more direct statement. I do have some suggestions about what might bug you because it's what bugs me about this sort of thing. In my case, I think it's mostly sensory in nature. Understanding it doesn't make me like it better, but I feel better about my negative reaction to things in this category (namely a friend's daughter who thinks doing lots of ballet-related high kicks in crowded spaces is okay). I don't like unexpected movement directed at me; anything going near my head is 10x worse. Below the waist wouldn't bug me much for pretend fighting. Even mid-chest would be far, far less alarming or annoying. I have a super strong blink reflex (for lack of a better word), and once I've been blinking because something is coming near me, then I am less prepare for the next move because I feel like my whole face is on the fritz from blinking multiple times from the surprise. I have had to train myself not to blink over lots of ordinary movements and noise from the time I was little, as strange as that sounds. (Example: someone would pound a nail into the floor, and I would blink every single time the hammer hit the nail, even when I got a feel for the rhythm of how often I would hear it and even if I was watching and could see it was going to make noise. This was really annoying considering that I grew up in a fixer-upper!) I have really good peripheral vision--combined with sensory issues (that got better as a young adult and then went through the roof again after I had kids), this means I am often on high alert anyway. I just plain prefer people restrict their movements around me to something I can reasonably expect. I have no negative reason (such as abuse) for not liking these things, but they do seriously bug me.
  3. kbutton

    I need prayers

    I am glad you found the source of the problem, but please do not be hard on yourself. You can't predict everything they might do. Hugs.
  4. kbutton

    kids with EF issues and cleaning bedrooms

    Would she use a coat rack? My kids each have one for things that should be off the floor but they won't want to fuss with. It helps a lot. My older kiddo picked out this one, and it has both lower hanging spots and upper ones: They put coats, bags, hats, towels, bathrobes, whatever on it. They've developed amazing strategies for loading those things up, lol! Both of them keep theirs pretty close to their doors. Could you reverse the strategy from picking up most things to putting the important stuff in one really well-defined area (tape off a section of floor, if necessary)? Then, when that's down, pick another thing to conquer and work your way through the worst of it. For a long time, in addition to having glasses and things like that in a specific location, we also picked something really irritating, like paper clutter, and just designated a place for it to go. That helped until better habits could be established.
  5. kbutton

    Swapping dining room w/living room?

    We made a LR into a dining room and the DR into a schoolroom. We had both a front living room and a family room in the back, and we kept the family room as a living room. I say go for it, and if you like it, and you are frustrated with not having enough cabinet space, then consider adding some kind of hutch in the new dining space. We bought an IKEA Besta cabinet that was configured like a buffet (the deeper cabinets), and we used that in our LR turned DR. It saved us having to remodel; we knew we would remodel/add on or move, and it allowed us to use the space better while we waited to decide. (We opted to move, and now the Besta unit was reconfigured to be a TV stand in one room and a cabinet to stash stuff in another room--loved it being used twice.) We got something just big enough to have a coffee bar on top, and otherwise the inside held coffee/tea stuff in a drawer, dishes/glasses/silverware, baskets for napkins and hot pads, and then containers for leftovers. We would package up the leftovers at the table, and then just take all the dirty dishes and stuff to the kitchen. They went back when they were clean. Bonus at the time is that my kids were still a little short to reach the upper kitchen cabinets where my dishes went, but they could reach everything in the Besta cabinet, so they were able to learn to completely empty the dishwasher, set the table, and put it all away. 🙂
  6. I never notice my hands getting blue from my jeans, but I do notice that if I put my hands in my pockets, I tend to get blue under my nails really badly--they look grungy like I've been playing in the dirt. If it comes and goes, maybe she could pay attention to whether her nails turn blue as well. Obviously the nails themselves won't discolor from Reynaud's.
  7. My son is walking mosquito repellent for the rest of us. They swarm him and chew him to pieces even when the rest of us are available. I am sensitive to flea bites, and when I was little and some family was out of town, we'd go feed the dog. When we'd come in, the fleas would jump on me, but everyone else was fine. I was very, very young (toddler or very young preschooler), and I remember those flea bites better than I remember chicken pox when I was much older, lol! They were awful. I am in the bomb the house camp--at least twice. Be sure to treat the yard.
  8. kbutton

    living with chronic pain resources?

    Both of these sites might have information related to pain from spinal problems, and they definitely have some webinars and other resources about chronic pain in general. They are sites for connective tissue disorders, so there will likely be some of that information mixed in: Possibly good titles on the Marfan site are the upcoming "Relationships and Chronic Illness," "Tips for Coping with Depression, Anxiety, and Anger," "Managing Pain," and "Let's Talk About YOU: Self-Care and Empowerment Strategies." Marfan Syndrome has potentially fatal heart implications, but as medical advances have supported living longer lives, chronic pain is one of the number one issues. This site has been offering webinars longer, so there is a lot more to sift through.
  9. kbutton

    Mop recommendations

    For tile or sheet vinyl, I LOVE this mop: I use something like Lysol diluted in a bucket or Shaklee Basic H. For hardwood, laminate, or LVP, I like a Bona mop/spray. I do not like the Bona mop or spray on the sheet vinyl or tile.
  10. kbutton

    Oh mercy me what have I done?

    Some kind of magnesium--epsom salts or just take tablets. Ice.
  11. kbutton

    Homeschoolers who work too slowly

    I agree, especially with the bolded. We don't do a lot of repetition of conceptual information here; we work on it until it's mastered. Some things will come up a lot because they are things that require automaticity, but I don't repeat concepts just for fun. In a classroom, you almost have to because even hard working students respond differently to the same lesson (just the order of presentation makes a difference between my two kids--if I had a whole classroom full of kids as different as my two are, I wouldn't even know where to begin, lol! There is no middle ground that would be a good starting point for both my kids.). Also, my kids do some things fast and some things slowly even within the same subject. Or they can do it faster in one format, but if you change something even a little, it slows them down. They are probably also going to be slower at picking up on differences in teaching style at first because they've had fewer teachers over time.
  12. I would say sensory at a minimum. I live in an area where people tend to blow this stuff off if it doesn't present "just right," so I would want to ask around to see if my pediatrician was likely to give a referral or if I was going to need to shop around. Some insurances let you book directly with specialists, but if the specialists are busy, they might require a referral to control having referral frivolously. So, I would have some data when it's time to ask for that referral. I would make lists of observations and try to tie them to ages/stages and anything you can compare, such as what is "typical" for your family, or if it's consistent with the behavior of other family members that have diagnosed issues. As others have mentioned, besides the pediatrician, Child Find should be in every state; I think it's part of IDEA (federal law). I would ask if the local district is good about that sort of thing, but it's worth a try. Early intervention can be a place to start depending on age. If you get a "no" now, still take notes (I like to make observations on a calendar so that it jogs my memory about the context and also provides dates without having to remember exactly how old the kid is. It's just easy to scribble it right into my planner. My kiddo could keep his stuff together for strangers, and he was not diagnosed until almost 9 years old. My other kiddo is not on the spectrum, but he has a host of other issues that would've been nice to have diagnosed earlier--in his case, he's just got harder things to pinpoint. I think spectrum is not the only possibility, but it's definitely one possibility.
  13. Are these the only problems she found with his eyes? Did she do a full developmental exam otherwise? If you are pretty sure there aren't retained reflexes and no convergence issues, then I would try the paper exercises and just see. Some kids have more trouble with this kind of stuff but have decent convergence and such. Directions...if these pages are what I am thinking they are...we had shapes and even lines instead, so I am not sure... I would put the pages in a clear document sleeve and use dry erase markers on them. Basically, I think you are supposed to have him do these from Left to Right as quickly as he can do them and be accurate. You can pick and choose different targets--so, for one paper you might have him circle every D that he sees (or whatever you want him to circle). He can do this a few times to try to beat his best time. The papers are varied so that you can get more mileage out of them. Sometimes after you get good at them, then you can ask them to circle all of one thing only when it follows a certain other letter/number/object. Really, you can customize what you do, but you want to encourage accuracy and good Left to Right eye movements. I think the 20 minutes sounds like a long time for one sitting. We did stuff like this 5 times per week, but for a shorter period of time and as part of a larger set of exercises. I would not do it for longer than he's able to do the activity well. More when it's not done well is just practicing wrong. Have you looked online for eye tracking exercises to see if something like what you've been given comes up? I think this kind of dysfunction is also called saccadic eye movements too. There are lots of things online for that. For K-D tracking, it mostly brings up testing. I hope she's not giving you the test pages to practice from!
  14. kbutton

    Is anyone else widowed?

    I think it makes sense to do what makes you feel the most able to conquer all that you have on your plate. I have no direct experience with grief, just with a big to-do list. I suggest maybe tapering your start to school--add a thing or two at a time as you get a handle on the first items (and it sounds like you have a plan for those). It might help you to not be going full tilt when all of those tasks come in when the death certificates arrive, but at least something is back on a routine. I am so sorry for your loss. I have not experienced the death of a spouse, but I have seen grief like this from afar, and there is no "right way" to do things. I hope you feel free to do what works for your family. I think you've done a tremendous job of making things stable for your kids.
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