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About kbutton

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  1. To some extent, salaried employees just suck up the extra time themselves or take things home vs. getting extra time. Also, the accommodations have to be reasonable for an employer to implement them--they can reject accommodations that aren't reasonable (not sure how the process goes, but I would guess one side or the other has to fight it or get an attorney). With regard to accommodations becoming over the top, in some cases, I think the educational system is going to have to learn to help kids who can be remediated. Accommodations are for things that can't easily change or things that are left over after specialized instruction or therapy have been tried. My son has a severe expressive language disorder but is profoundly gifted (including in the verbal domain). Appropriate intervention is changing his life. Not one expert had the key to sorting this out--I found materials and gave them to the experts. Right now, the person getting results is an expert in a related but different field--she had tried similar things that these materials do, but hadn't found the sweet spot on her own. If my son had this stuff earlier, his story would be very different, and the sad part is that these materials have been around for quite some time, and no one ever tested him for these difficulties because educators have their head in the sand about this. So, some things have to be accommodated, but I would argue that better intervention would make some accommodations lighter and less onerous and would probably cut down on how many accommodations are needed.
  2. As far as the light pillows go, they are a big contrast, so let the kids play with them, and save up for ones that go with the curtains better. 🙂
  3. I think the curtains are fine, and I don't think the couches and tables clash enough to worry about. If you have a long enough rod to keep the curtains almost completely off to the side, they aren't going to look as airy as with light filtering through them. How does it look at night with lamps? That makes a difference too. I would die with dark carpet and dark curtains, lol! I also really like natural patterns--leafs, etc.--so your curtains are very appealing to me.
  4. Only one person in quarantine has symptoms. The rest are quarantined because of travel history, so I think Ohio is trying to be very cautious.
  5. It doesn't make you horrible, cold, or the worst potential grandparent ever, lol! It makes you sound like someone who started their family really early and wants a change of pace. Or maybe someone that will enjoy their adult grandchildren better--in that case, you might ready for babies again when they have theirs, lol! My grandmother started her family early as well, had a sort of caboose baby (big age separation but not that old when her youngest was born). So, she has two grandkids that are intertwined with her great-grandkids and can still enjoy them all. When I was little, she was still a full-time parent. She was not a touchy-feely grandmother when I was little, but I always felt loved. Now, she's always game for a hug or other touch. Do you need a schedule or a purpose? Just curious--it's similar, but not exactly the same kind of structure. I need a purpose and a general plan, but I don't necessarily need a schedule or to follow my original plan. DH, sigh. Maybe I can send him to hang out with yours later in life, lol! I enjoy plenty of leisure time, but I structure that too to some extent. I like the idea of trying some career assessments and maybe personality stuff--Meyers-Briggs for personality and Strengths Finder or DISC for more a roles/responsibilities/work profile. I have seen people use DISC for personality and felt like it was terrible for that, but used for work relationships, it makes more sense. In that context, I have seen the same M-B type have different DISC profiles, but the type fit both and the DISC profiles were really accurate. Anyway, different assessments hint at different things.
  6. I agree. In our home, this would be a big deal to sort out, especially as my DH's schedule is one where he works many evenings, some overnights, and 50% of weekends and holidays. Retirement means a great deal of freedom. We won't do well being home together 24/7, but we will want to be on the same page about how we'd like to decide how we spend our time and how much flexibility we have after years of being out of sync with most people's schedules. Also, if you think grandkids are likely by the time you're ready to start practicing, you might want to think about how available you'd like to be for them. My parents retired borderline early and are in good health. They are extremely busy, just not paid to be. They do not live close to either set of grandkids, and when they worked, they gave up a lot of individual vacation time to see grandkids (they weren't in charge of their own schedules though either). Even now, with eldercare responsibilities and volunteer stuff, they have to work around schedules. Health is never a guarantee, but it shouldn't be such a big unknown that it burdens you. But I thought I'd mention that my healthy-as-a-horse dad has some unusual health problems that show up in old age in his family that people just didn't know about (and siblings are close in age, so it's showing up all at once). They aren't completely limiting, but there are travel risks with one, and another is likely to require major surgery in the next few years. So, it's not like you can't work and still be available, especially if you are setting your own schedule, but it's something to consider. If you have a family history of weird medical stuff showing up in later adulthood, you might consider how compatible that is with your plans, but don't limit yourself based on what-ifs that aren't likely.
  7. This is about right for my older, though I think we started just a bit younger when we had neighbors home that were in the loop (and we did the same for theirs). But my younger one is just now where I feel comfortable doing that, and he's 12. Ironically, the older one has more "challenges," but he's more practical. My younger kiddo would be off with the fairies. I could not leave them alone TOGETHER until the older one was 14 or so. They would either do stupid things as a result of arguing or do stupid things by getting along "too well."
  8. Maybe. Sometimes. I generally tell him or just try to build it into my time and then tell him why. We have a lot of bad patterns, but not that many that are directly relevant to what you're talking about here. A number of things have gotten better over time, and a few really irritating things have gotten better recently.
  9. I think many remedial materials don't always correspond to the places that 2e kids get stuck or the nuances of where they struggle (with some exceptions) unless their learning issue is quite profound, or the resource is really open-ended and flexible. And ADHD isn't a "learning" issue in the sense that it's not like dyslexia where you can learn OG strategies. It's more global. (But meds help a lot of kids, so there's that!) I know things change a lot over time, but my FIL was a reading specialist. He found that a lot of kids with lower IQ also had needs that weren't explained by their globally lower IQ--they seemed to also have LD symptoms, but the materials for straight LD didn't necessarily fit in the same spots. A friend has also found this to be true with her children. Neither end of the bell curve is where most remediation strategies and tools are focused. Or, they focus only on the IQ or only the LD and don't bring it together.
  10. A local enrichment program for gifted kids (not school based) accepts the CogAT for entrance (others are also accepted, and recommendations are also accepted). It seems to be reliable. I assume it's not as precise as something like the WISC, but that doesn't invalidate it. It's one of several tools that can elicit information about ability.
  11. This reminds me of the book series Sisterchicks by Robin Jones Gunn (very light reading). I am not sure I've read all of them, but close. I also listened to one while painting my son's room years ago. I think I have a friend I could do this with if we can come up with the time. I haven't had that kind of friend very often.
  12. I wonder if you could divide responsibilities up differently with your DH so that you have some days you are totally free or free after a certain time that is earlier in the day. For example, when our oldest was a baby, and it was excessively hard, we took turns getting up. But, it was hard to sleep when I knew it was my turn next. Later, when we had more flexibility, we could have assigned nights to get up. So, one person would be able to sleep all night. I think you need something where you know after x time or x job for the day, you are totally free to slack off. For a while, you might have to actually leave the house until your last kid is in bed, but I bet you can come up with something once you get used to it (and don't let yourself feel guilty for feeling a little lost at first). There are some solitary things to do outside the house if you plan for them. The number of crafty places to do things keeps growing, for example. I have seen people (not all local--sometimes it's on FB), weaving a rug or going to a craft by the pound place where they weigh the supplies, and you craft whatever you want from it. I am guessing that you'd enjoy camping out at the library. 🙂 Our library is particularly nice to hang out in. Eventually, you can probably stay home but be secluded and ignore whatever else is going on that you normally do.
  13. And a fair amount of special treatment to boot...informal supports that aren't helpful, such as wanting to be able to bring things that other kids aren't allowed to have that are definitely in the "toy" vs. "tool" category both by what they were and how they were used by the child in question--parents of other SN kids who knew the difference were being silenced on this issue because the parents using them inappropriately were able to raise a stink. But I think that particular family has kids who are either older (like youth group now), or they have moved on. They had a lot of issues, were working on some (but might not have been evidence-based), and were just kind of expecting people to know what to do and not step on toes without any game plan. Peachy stuff. There are teachers that have tried to have fidgets and things available for anyone who needs them, etc. 1:1 aides were offered (parents of grown-up SN kids and a responsible/effective teen who wants to do spec ed someday) and somewhat utilized but not anymore. I stopped volunteering as a sub and directly with kids in general (vs. doing behind-the-scenes stuff) because the dynamic was so, so frustrating. I routinely managed to get stuck between adults who were not on the same page but had shared or overlapping responsibilities--usually one was super loosey-goosey (kind, but didn't realize some practices were things that led to chaos if not delineated better), and then another one would be making up for the lack of structure with being arbitrary. That made me nuts and created a bit of ill will on my part that I wasn't going to be able to keep in check. One person that bugged me the most has firsthand knowledge of ID coupled with great life skills, and that made it worse--this person's standards were off because their child had spiky skills that they didn't realize didn't translate across the board. But, several of the kids in question aged out of elementary, families moved, etc. We have a couple of major behavioral needs, and now it just seems like we have a disproportional number of kids with ADHD or dyslexia, many of which are concentrated in one grade. I am beyond thankful that at least in Awana, we've had some new leaders this year who seem to roll with all these idiosyncracies and do a great job. I really should stop before I get wound up on this topic! I think as local schools get better at identifying and offering services, parents are getting more okay with accepting them or knowing what is reasonable and what is not. I think a few districts gave up identifying kids past a certain age unless parents ask for an evaluation, but they are getting on board with identifying kids really early and trying to set new expectations for parents and kids as they age. They are also doing more with district early childhood centers to make things available without IEPs (RTI in a good way).
  14. I would borrow the OLD one, not the Husqvarna, lol! I didn't know you could get new machines with metal parts. I researched stuff about ten or twelve years ago, and it was bleak short of buying a used machine, and I just don't know how to do that if I'm not buying it from someone that sews a fair bit and is just upgrading or something. I would love to have something a little more reliable and keep this on the side. Plus, I need my kids to learn a little sewing, and it's easier with two machines.
  15. Charcoal or pine tar soap seems to keep it to a reasonable level here. Scrubbing with a back scrubber has made it WORSE.
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