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About kbutton

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  1. Solitaire Chess: It's for 12 and older, but my son has been playing it for a long time (turned 12 today).
  2. I totally agree, and this is a very reasonable response. I am so sorry.
  3. It wasn't a local itch where the cream was applied. It was my "histamine" itch where my face, head, and ears get hot, and my head gets really itchy.
  4. It's from a compounding pharmacy that took all my weirdness into consideration.
  5. The cream also seemed to make me itch. A lot. I have histamine issues we're trying to sort, and I was itchy with hot skin more than usual taking that cream.
  6. I have been in perimenopause for several years (currently am 43). I have had super heavy periods for several years (with a little irregularity, but mostly it was the "new normal"). Bad stuff was ruled out a couple of years ago via biopsy and an ultrasound with my regular OB/GYN. No hormones because we have blood clots galore in the family. At the time of the ultrasound, I had a very small fibroid that was already dying off and had not been big enough to cause the levels of bleeding I was experiencing. Fast forward a couple of years...have had some other weird stuff that indicated maybe thyroid, but that's been a dead end (am taking some supportive supplements to optimize things, but nothing treatable even by functional standards). I got some hormone testing, but that coincided with a big change in cycles--they are getting longer, and my periods are light, and I was feeling more like "me" again. Well, the NP (functional med) asked me to try bioidentical progesterone after the hormone testing because my progesterone is post-menopausal, and my estrogen, by comparison, is higher. Since it's the estrogen that's primarily associated with blood clots, her thinking is that the progesterone would potentially lower my clot risk rather than having the estrogen going nuts all alone. The high estrogen seemed to explain the previously heavy periods, etc., though they were getting better. Well, I took the progesterone cream for four terrible days. Lots of symptoms, including migraines, crabbiness, heart palpitations, etc. Day five, I forgot (it was a day that I had a somewhat new out of the house commitment, and I just plain forgot). I felt so good that day after four days of terrible that I opted to stop the progesterone. When it came time that I could maybe be ovulating or having a period, my period came, but it was preceeded by hot flashes, the likes of which I've not had in years--the really unpredictable kind that come with fight or flight anxiety. And it's a flood--maybe heaviest period ever. The last few cycles, when I got to "maybe ovulate, maybe have a period," it was a small blip, nothing happened, and I would get a light period a couple of weeks later. That had lasted 3 or 4 glorious cycles. Anyway, I keep reading that progesterone should be fixing the heavy cycles, not provoking them. I am so frustrated. Anyone have experience with bioidentical progesterone that can interpret this ridiculousness? Mine is made from yams.
  7. In high school, we watched this dramatized documentary with The Crucible:
  8. Okay, I am going to be more blunt than in my first post...I am having a pretty visceral reaction to how your mom behaved. I went to my MIL's last week (for about 24 hours) because I knew if I didn't, my DH would go anyway, and I would have to deal with him choosing her over me. I was going into a situation with a somewhat orchestrated buffer between my MIL and I, allowing me to basically not have to speak to her all weekend except for a few obvious things like, "Thank you." I still had nightmares for a week before I went. It's nearly ruined my marriage, not that it's the only problem. Even when all goes well, I have to decompress forever after I go. It's weeks worth of work and suffering when I have to see her for anything at all. Don't do that to your family. People like this don't care. There will always be another reason they decide to be mean. In a healthy family, if someone is concerned about or grieving the loss of how your family functioned practically before taking on your son's needs, then they could talk about it in a non-blaming way and maybe get some help for how to deal with that. This is not that.
  9. So, nothing new about this really. I agree, but I am not certain she deserves an explanation. I can't begin to tell you how hurtful it's been to my marriage to have a MIL who is like your mother. You have some boundaries in place--great; better than some people have. I am not sure they are going to serve your son's needs though.
  10. kbutton

    No text

    I hope all is well soon. Take care of yourself!
  11. kbutton

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    I am sorry for your loss, and I am sorry your recovery has also been complicated. It sounds to me like it's never been hashed out completely how you guys relate to his family when they have a crisis/loss with the distance and lack of closeness you mentioned. Then, their crisis times have coincided with difficult times for you, and this round was a doozy of a crisis. Unless there is a history of their being toxic in some way, it seems like this is the second time there has been a terrible confluence of needs on both sides of the equation. That kind of unusual timing is not something on which to make a big judgment about whether priorities were in the right place or not, but I agree with ktgrok that you need to talk it through for the future and with the others that said you need to grieve. Also something I agree with. I think his spilling the beans was a mistake made under duress. I think his not staying in better communication was really hurtful too. This too. Again, I am so sorry! I am a little concerned about your having more physical symptoms too (I have not miscarried to know if it's a normal progression physically). I hope you will seek additional help if you are having more complications.
  12. A couple more things then, in case it helps. By 9 months, my son would not sit in his carseat unless I told him where we were going. I felt like a crazy person explaining things to such a tiny kid, but it was exactly what he wanted to know. Other things were inexplicable at the detail level, and we just had to find ways to modify situations/routines/products in a way that made it look like we were trying to treat him equitably--so getting kid items that looked as realistic as possible was important. Unless they had Elmo on them--then they were even better, lol! 🤣 Other things that helped would be telling him how long stuff would last in terms that meant something to him, like, "This will take about the same time as one episode of such and such a TV show." Just be sure if you use a show, you realize that some shows have two stories in one episode, so make sure you both know what you mean by episode. We also found that the sense o' justice meter was tripped when things weren't logical. My son was baffled by needing to apologize if he did something by accident, such as bumping into someone. Saying sorry was, in his mind, for when you were mean or did something on purpose. If something is still illogical, it's often a good idea to just say that it's a rule. It really depends on how much the person understands in the given context already. The good news is that once you figure a few things out, it snowballs--you see patterns and start feeling like if your child could be thinking x, then y is not such a stretch from there--maybe y could really be the problem. And you get better and better at figuring it out. Some kids can't really tell you, but you can read about functions of behavior to see if you can find some insights into the why. They classify behaviors into categories--just realize that the lingo has specific meanings, and it's not meant to be judgmental necessarily. It's meant to kind of help narrow down the possibilities when it's hard to connect behavior to something that did happen or the child would like to have happen.
  13. Weather changes can do that to my teeth/sinuses. So can a migraine or a need to see the chiropractor. Since a migraine can be triggered by all those things too, it makes it a bit of a chicken and egg scenario! I hope you feel better. Sometimes a warm, moist compress can make it feel better for a while. For me, this pretty much happens only on one side of my face and never on the other, so I am pretty sure it's not teeth.
  14. Wow, this is a really old thread! So, realize he's not getting proper feedback from his body on pressure, etc. with writing, so that's part of this--it's not just the mechanics, it's that the brain is having a harder time with proprioception, pressure, self-correction, etc. because his body is unstable. There is no set stop point for his joints that is a stable point. It's like instead of having a floor to stand on, you're trying to walk on a water bed. I saw the mention that he is completely double-jointed. If you don't get an evaluation for OT/PT to help stabilize his body in ways that are supportive, you're going to be paying for injuries (and worse) instead. Sorry to be so blunt--I don't mean to add to your problems if the well is dry, but it should be part of long-term planning if you can't do it right now. I have a kiddo with a connective tissue disorder--you need to get that checked. Some are benign outside of pain/mobility, but some have heart and vascular involvement that are life-threatening (those kinds are more rare). To support the full body, invest in some "grow with me" supportive furniture, chairs with adjustable height, work surface with an adjustable height, etc. It would be a kindness. This is a good example of something that will grow with your child for a while: There are some great adjustable trays with legs if a desk is too $$$. They tilt as well as provide adjustable heights. Pencil grips--I suggest trying a ball/egg/bulb shaped grip or a totally alternative grip with a Y shaped pencil. He might not like either, but they can help the brain learn to sense a stop point if they help with the hypermobility. If you can stabilize shoulders and such, I suggest getting him typing, and use handwriting as a secondary thing when he gets older and more able to figure out his body better. My son's hips and shoulders go completely in and out of the sockets, and PT was super helpful in giving him supportive movement patterns. Avoid Y sitting and don't do activities where he hangs while expecting his joints to hold his weight---that's very risky. If you get one of the soft cover balls, tetherball can be good for strengthening shoulders, and the poles are not super expensive. My son's elbows are not hypermobile, so you might need to evaluate if that would cause a problem for your son. If his body is well-proportioned, that helps. My son's CTD causes disproportionate bone growth, so my son not only has the hypermobility, the extra long bones in his fingers are "too long" with no place logical for the "extra" length to go when he writes. If your son has disproportionate bone growth (especially if it causes chest wall asymmetry), you REALLY need to get him evaluated as that is common in CTD's with heart involvement. Hang in there!
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