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BakersDozen last won the day on December 5 2020

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  1. My girls used Galore Park's "So You Really Want to Learn French?" on their own through level 3. They then suffered with Global Goose (such a waste of money/time!) and will finish with Sally Barstow for French IV/V. I was not involved at all save for paying for materials so this was completely on their own which was, I feel, doable thanks to GP's fantastic program (which we had also used for Spanish).
  2. Today has been lovely. It rained most of the day so we stayed inside and opened gifts slowly, played games, watched a movie, went to the rink, and now dh has the entire tribe tormenting the teenage workers at Sonic for Happy Hour. I thought of my mom all day and how much she is missing because of her behavior choice...how sad. But I've heard nothing from her or my siblings. Yet. It's coming...
  3. This resonates with me because I try so.stinking.hard to have self-control and talk reasonably, and it never works with my mom. Never. Which bewilders me until I remind myself (again) of what everyone here has shared about narcissists. It is mind boggling. Your experience...whew, talk about a tough situation! Glad it worked out for you! Lol, I also thought Garga actually called someone by "Narc"! 🙂
  4. Goodness, how true three words are. Yes, dh is 100% in support of me. And to his credit, he is saying nothing to her. When we were first married it would have been WWIII between him and her. I'm amazed at how he is not giving into his anger toward her and treating her with self-control. That's funny...I kept repeating that to myself over and over...kind of like I do when I'm in labor: "OK...OK...I'm OK...OK...it's OK..." How ridiculous that one human being can have this effect on me. Thank you all for helping me prepare for that conversation. I would not have known what to say or how to respond.
  5. She called again. I made sure to answer and she said, "Hello, this is first last name. May I talk to dh, please?" I said he is not home, what can I help her with? She needs dh to help move something out of her vehicle, I said I would convey the message. She then asked to talk to ds. I asked what she needed and she said she needed to talk to ds about his bday. I told her she is welcome to come by and have cake and be with the family here tomorrow. She said she wanted to talk to ds about taking him out to breakfast or lunch and I took a very deep breath...and told her no. Silence on her end, then a demand as to why not. My response - just no. But she can come over tomorrow and be with the family. She hung up. I am shaking. I imagine the phone lines are burning as she makes her calls to my siblings and her friends. This is so sad.
  6. We do and she has always been told that she is welcome to join us. It's sad because we have 2 other gals - "grandmothers' - who take each dc out for lunch or shopping. But I trust them and in all the years we've known them they have not once said an unkind, hurtful word toward any of us. So my mom does not get that privilege given her behavior.
  7. In response to above (sans quote) - yes, 100%. I am "emotionally cold/distant" along with all sorts of other things. I refuse to be dramatic and engage in verbal/emotional warfare so I am labeled in all sorts of interesting ways. And then I start to question who and how I am...and around and around it goes. Head games. Mind games.
  8. I never thought of that - thank you!
  9. Yes, she is not allowed to have the kids without me.
  10. Thank you...all of you. Again.
  11. The dc she asked for has a bday tomorrow so I'm assuming she called to try and set something up with him - go to lunch, etc. He is turning 11. WTH do I do?? I told dh last night that my mom will portray herself as the sickly sweet, wonderful Oma while shooting daggers both visual and verbal at me.
  12. My mom called this morning and identified herself as "Oma" and asked for one of my dc. We were not home so the message is on the machine. I have not called her back yet as I'm trying to think of what to say. Thank you all for helping me (again) through this. I can't believe the mental/emotional drain this is.
  13. I wouldn't know what to do or think without the Hive. I can't handle this. I honestly got to a point last night that I was ready to break down in tears from the burden of it all. I have kids to focus on, school for which to prep, and I don't want my mom and her crud to be in my life.
  14. No, I don't like her and have not liked her for as long as I can remember, going back to high school and definitely college years. But my response must be above reproach because my dc are watching and I want to give my mom nothing she can truthfully use against me. And I need to not feel like I've gone to her level so have to be purposeful in my response. How far do I let her take this? If she introduces herself as "Ann" then asks for one of my dc? Or my dh? Just pretend she didn't say it? I can do that if that's the best way to handle this.
  15. I am going to ask what is probably a dumb ? - how do I respond? Seriously, when she calls (as she did again today) and says, "Hi, this is (insert first name here), may I talk to (insert dh's name here)?" She talks as though she's calling an office. I just said dh was not home, she wanted his work number, I told her he was most likely on his way home and wouldn't answer his phone, she said OK and hung up. WHAT do I say/do at this point?? When she was living in the next state or across the country it was one thing, but she's here. And she won't budge - she's right, I'm wrong. And now it's no longer "Mom" but "first name" with me. Advice, please?? How to respond to someone who is desperate for a fight and to know she is making me angry/hurt??
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