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BakersDozen last won the day on December 5 2020

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About BakersDozen

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  1. I still struggle with my decision, trust me. I was concerned over what would ensue from parents...it's a hard community to live in, especially as a home schooler. My co-op has always been a place where no drama happens and that's something I protect. I would have definitely invited serious drama.
  2. In our area it would be taken as being in the category, not just support. Funny story: I found the coolest pair of Converse at a thrift store. Brand new condition with the funnest, brightest rainbow pattern on the sole. I'm a black and white kind of gal (literally, all I wear is usually black/gray/white...I'm incredibly boring) so having something with color on it was a big step for me. When I showed them to my dc there was a bit of awkward silence. One of my older ones said, "Um, OK...are you sure you want to wear those, Mom?" I was most upset as I took it as I'm too boring for such fun sh
  3. As of right now I would somehow find a way to get money to young people in our area who are attending CC or working toward a trade and need a financial boost. I would try to target those students who fall in the middle as far as finances and financial opportunities (as I did as a student). Maybe they don't qualify for grants, don't have anyone else paying for their education, etc. I would also love to help those who have medical debts yet also fall in the middle - don't qualify for welfare, etc. and yet don't have so much that a bill of $1000 is really nothing much. Does that make sense? Or
  4. In regard to my oldest dd, we have a relationship now but I know her and I know if I outright tell her something about my mom, no matter how gently, it will not go over well. Again, my dd is aware of how her grandmother behaves but this is the girl who allowed manipulative, nasty girls to intimidate and belittle her as a kid, and she is still in contact/"friends" with them today. She wants to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and is way, way too forgiving. I did try to show her that she is enabling my mother, but I think that's as far as I can go. My 18yod shrugs everything off. She's
  5. Yep, that's what she did. She will get anything she can from anyone - time, attention, and money which is her god. One of the interventions I did here was with Home Depot where my mom outright lied in an attempt to get a refund she knew full well she had no right to. She tried to include us, my brother, the wonderful employee who helped make the order (my mom was going to throw the gal under the bus), etc. It was nasty. A few phone calls and one trip to the store from me shut that down right quick. Sociopath, maybe. Narcissist, definitely. Polytheistic, absolutely. She worships herself, money,
  6. I continue contacting people whether via phone or in person because I'm always told, "Thank you so much!!" She does such a number on them, they appreciate, as the sweet nail salon owner's wife said, that someone actually cares. I don't apologize on behalf of my mom, rather for her rude, inappropriate behavior. It feels rotten to be verbally abused when one has done nothing wrong; this is my way of trying to salvage someone's day. So this is why I have continued reading her emails and, when absolutely necessary, being around her. Kind of sad that the only reason for having any communication is
  7. This is my mom 100%. First time she talked politics and spewed hateful, horrible things, that topic was off the table. Religion? Nope. Society in general? Nope. There isn't much to talk about with her.
  8. Great visual - game pieces. And you are right in that I won't offer up my other kids or involve them in her game of Power Control and Mental/Emotional Manipulation.
  9. Update: My mom had told my 18yod that she was invited over for dd's belated bday celebration. Turns out, my mom had her own bday celebration instead (Sunday is her bday) so it was all about her; no mention at all of my dd's bday. Not a word. So my dd was a bit confused but shrugged it off, thank goodness. She had nowhere else to go and everyone was here so it was my turf, so to speak. We called the shots and she hated it - casual dinner, no fuss over her rather a family focus, etc. It was when she left in the middle of dinner that my dd wanted to go off on my mom and rightly so. T
  10. I agree about not having all grandkids around at the same time, every time, but what happens is that a couple are always included/invited and the other ignored. It's very obvious. Although as others have posted, I guess that's a good thing to have fewer of my dc exposed to my mom.
  11. Your wording is ironic because damage control is part of my life now. Last week I called the airport shuttle place to try and make the gal's day better following a heated argument when my mom called and insisted the shuttle pick up/drop off location was in one area of town. She would not accept that it was elsewhere and was very, very ugly. My mom shares with me these "triumphs" of hers. Sick. Nail salons, shuttle offices, doctor offices, grocery stores...my mom is the kind of gal one would see on the news and not in a good way. sigh Damage control within the family is what I was trying to
  12. Yes, it would be boundary crossing for sure.
  13. I believe the kids are getting the opposite message from me (in a nice way - I save my venting for here) which is that my mom is not to be appeased, catered to, etc. Her approval comes at a cost and it's not worth it. Last week I set off quite a bomb when my mom tried to pull some serious crud over the phone and the dc are very aware of what happened, how it was handled by me, and why I refuse to accommodate my mom's ugliness or manipulations. My oldest has always been fearful of making people angry so she appeases my mom. I cannot say anything to my dd in this regard. She expresses frustra
  14. I've shared just a bit about my mom - moved here from back East over a year ago, lives 2 streets up, total narcissist and just downright unpleasant, nasty human being. She is the main reason I hate Mother's Day and I do not use that word lightly. She also plays favorites clearly with the grandkids - ignores most, dotes on the few she likes. In 6 months she has come over here maybe 3 times, twice because she needed something. Invitations for her to join us for this or that here or for her to just come over and read with kids, bake, etc. go unanswered. So we live our life and interact with he
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