Jump to content

Menu

BakersDozen

Members
  • Posts

    3,555
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    2

BakersDozen last won the day on December 21 2021

BakersDozen had the most liked content!

Reputation

3,114 Excellent

2 Followers

Recent Profile Visitors

The recent visitors block is disabled and is not being shown to other users.

  1. Living (as best I can) it now. Didn't think it would happen to me - such foolishness. Right now I'd say it's more a midlife almost-crisis and only the fact that I still have my younger dc at home and can focus/pour into them keeps me going. I don't go to church anymore. I don't pray. I don't believe in a lot of what I did and find the "sunshine" in my thoughts and general outlook on life, especially what is yet to come, is not there. I don't laugh - I realized that a year or so ago when an old friend came to visit and I was shocked when I heard her laugh. I ignore my dh (and he does the same with me) - it keeps us married. Part of my midlife almost-crisis was realizing one day that I will most likely never feel a loving touch or experience a kind, loving look or word again. That knocked the wind out of me emotionally. It was about that time that I realized what is coming as far as dc leaving the home...and I can't even think about that without facing some really dark emotions. For the first time ever, I realized why some people make some choices - leaving their spouse, walking away, or worse. And I realized that the word "crisis" is just that, and I never used the term lightly again because if I feel this way with what I would deem an almost-crisis, I cannot imagine what it would be like to be in a full crisis. I'm more angry and negative now, and I hate it. I experienced a few days of almost happiness and normalcy (it's been so long since I felt that way, it was quite strange) when I took only my dc away for a week. Dh didn't go with us. It was lovely and I never wanted to go home again. As it's still on going, I can't answer as to how long it will last. My coping means I accept that this is how it is for now, and try not to think that it may get worse. What helps? Spending time with my dc. Holding my 6yos. Staying up late and then reading until I don't have the energy to think before falling asleep. Staying busy. Not thinking too much on anything. Avoiding dh. Exercising - keeping that time when I can watch a movie and check out mentally, even if only for an hour or so. Honestly, I'm really scared. Like really, really scared. The other night was so bad, I almost drove myself to the E.R. to be committed. Never felt that way before, not even with all the sad or horrible crud that came my way. Not much help, sorry.
  2. A kindred spirit! Although that's even more than dh and I have done since after the first or second year. Those first 2 years...whew, we were just crazy newlyweds! We actually thought to say, "Happy Anniversary" to each other, although only in passing and at about 11:58pm. And that wild behavior ended pretty quickly - it was just too much effort. I think we may have given each other a thumbs up in passing on our 25th. That milestone called for something more special, hence the purposeful action. lol
  3. Guess what my mom wore to my wedding? My dress was ivory lace, mid-length skirt. So was hers. I found out when she walked into the church. She was with me when I chose my dress so she knew what she was doing. Oy. I'd definitely say something about attending the reception w/o an RSVP.
  4. She would love to do ice, but the age restrictions are against her (she just turned 17) for everything we've found. But I will keep looking.
  5. An update: The rosters for the upcoming tournament were released, yet there were 2 in the 18U division which were glaringly not posted. Until today. The player for whom many of us were hoping 16U would happen - a kid who wasn't deemed good enough (or so we were all told) to be on 18U and whose mom (the team "parent") just sent a super upbeat, "cheerleader-ish" email to all of the families saying how wonderful it is to have higher level players on the team and let's just show positivity to our players - her kid is on an 18U team. So are a few others which were not expected. I should have confessed, I suppose, after I dropped a load of swear words any sailor would be proud of...but I didn't. And I won't. Because I cannot believe the hypocrisy and underhanded way in which this was done. Rosters posted at the last minute and clear indication that 16U is nothing more than warm-up for 18U (which has its games right after 16U). Oh, and the whole thing about needing to add to the roster because of numbers - B.S. Some of the teams have FIVE players. Two divisions have only two teams. This was about not saying 'no' to the higher level players and parents, and keeping things quiet about just how many higher level players are on 16U as well as 18U. I feel...ugly angry.
  6. You nailed it regarding the elite players having their own teams and why they are playing "down." It's pathetic because one of the moms is thrilled that the "local talent" is coming back to the program (these players bailed years ago for other, better options). But these elite players don't give two hoots about anything local; this is all about them and their on status, awards, etc. And they have no plan on staying - the parents have made that clear. They're still signed up with a very elite travel team; this is just "filler" for them. I don't know about the funding - I'll find out, though. Parents are not allowed at any meetings. The managers/admins have been put in place by the vote of 2 people - no one else was allowed to run for the Board and no one is allowed at those meetings. Parents can sign up as coaches, but I promise you they'd never let me on the bench because they know I wouldn't let the players be selfish or unfair. Right now they're just hoping I'll take my players and go away. I'm definitely the Pain in the Butt Who Reads Everything and Understands the Rules. But I can't change anything - the entire organization is too closed up, and most of the parents don't care enough to actually do anything.
  7. I thought about this, actually - the lawyer thing. I took screenshots of the rules and division description just in case I need them for legal purposes. We considered ice but it's too late for dd to join a team at this point in the season. And yes, we've lost so many coaches because of the toxic environment and horrid leadership. We also have a player whose dad pays him for goals. This is also the dad who yells, "NEVER PASS - (insert boy's name here), NEVER PASS!!!" And the coach, when approached about this, did nothing. So the parents took things into our own hands (nicely). The boy now passes and we ignore the idiot dad who is convinced his kid is the next Olympian. It's pretty bad.
  8. The players are not allowed to be older than 16 - there is a birth year cutoff. The dilemma is that there are 16-year olds who play super elite, high-level 18U hockey, and those players were not supposed to be on this developmental division. So while it is 16U, it's not a typical 16U, if that makes sense. They're trying to retain the Silver level players coming up from 14U. And yes, dd's safety is making me lay awake at night from worry. She's fast and has great defensive moves, but she's so small compared to the boys.
  9. There are decent, team-player kind of players, yes. And I'm desperately hoping dd will be with those players because if not, she's going up and down the rink, cycling, and just watching instead of playing. That's if she's put on the rink at all now. Yes, she can drop out mid-season. In fact, if the team is deemed too good and told to move up to 18U, she'll drop out whether she likes it or not. I won't be surprised if that happens and with the additional players, the coach won't care if he loses 1-2 of his "lesser" players.
  10. I've not found field hockey here. I watched a lacrosse game...nope. I also saw the numerous and rather gruesome injuries our friend's son acquired while playing lacrosse...yuck. At least with roller hockey, there is a lot of protective gear and some rules about checking/bodying, etc. It's also hard because she's been with some of the hockey players for about 3 years (the actual 16U players, that is). I know she's not wanting to leave that group.
  11. There was a statement/description of what this division was for (that will be changed now) and a code of conduct, declaration about building great kids as well as great players, etc. It's all type and hype, as we're finding out.
  12. We had a chat tonight and this is how it went. It's not even mid-season as the first tournament hasn't even happened, but for her it's been weekly practice since last fall so she's invested a lot of time and effort into this. I told her it's her decision, but I definitely qualified that with what I am struggling and why.
  13. The elites are improving. The rest are sink or swim, pay to play but maybe don't be played at all. There really isn't another venue for her. She is passionate about playing, but other options are out of reach due to cost, location, her age, etc. If there was something else for her, we'd jump on it. But there's not. 😞
  14. And that's what makes this so hard - this division was for those kids who wouldn't normally continue with the sport to be able to play against/with players at their level. The communication has been zero - unless one is a coach or an annoying mom who reads everything and follows through without letting up until she has answers (and then is told to be quiet and go away), the rest of the parents/players won't realize what's going on until tournament day. And that's just not fair.
×
×
  • Create New...