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About footballmom

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    Hive Mind Level 3 Worker: Honeymaking Bee

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  1. Do you think you will be able to exercise more than twice a week - meaning outside of the twice a week you could get to a gym? If so, what will you do on your own (bike, run, walk?) and what do you *need* from the gym either from an equipment or accountability perspective? If I could get to the gym just twice a week but could do some stuff on my own, I would look at something like Orange Theory Fitness because it’s a great overall workout and will advance strength and cardio fitness and their membership prices are built on visits per month. Or I would out that money towards personal training sessions with a trainer or in a small group. My friend works out with a trainer in a small group and it’s amazing what she’s accomplished with her group. Gym membership isn’t necessary as she has a studio at home for the small groups.
  2. We received a letter one day that a retail conglomerate needed more information from us to open our recently requested credit account and I knew DH and I didn’t try to open anything. I put the letter aside since it sounded like nothing was opened and it could be a marketing attempt to get us to apply. Well, it turns out DH’s identity had been stolen and the person had gotten a state drivers license with their picture on it and DH’s information - our address, everything. We pulled our credit report but it didn’t show anything new. A few days later, we received the statement from a big box store credit card that neither of us opened. The same guy went and bought baby wipes and a laptop there. They do a “soft” credit check so it didn’t hit our credit report at first. I would pull a credit report but also be willing to give the bank the last four of my social as long it was a verified customer service number for the bank you got the letter from to have peace of mind if there’s really an account open. Kind of ironic they are flagging potential fraudulent activity on a card that may be fraud to begin with!
  3. For an internship, I would recommend putting together a capsule wardrobe of easy care pieces that are true to her style while giving a polished look. When we hear blazers in the dress code, Ann Taylor and Talbots make beautiful jackets but she probably doesn’t need this level of investment pieces at this stage. If she was starting a 9-5 and graduated, I would lean towards the investment pieces. But, styles do evolve and these investment pieces now may look a little dated for when she goes 9-5. I would check Nordstrom Rack or some Nordstrom lines aren’t too expensive. Ann Taylor Loft, H&M and J Crew Factory will also have separates she can mix together for a polished yet age appropriate look. I would have her check out some fashion blogs like Putting Me Together to get her insight on looks that she likes and also create a list of staple pieces - one knit blazer, one solid color blazer, one solid dress, one pattern dress, etc and shop to that. Athleta does have some great options like a PP mentioned. They can be $$ but their sales are good. They will have a Memorial Day sale.
  4. I am so sorry. Lifting up you and your family in prayer.
  5. My NPD mom would post things on FB directed at me, so I adjusted my settings so I wouldn’t see her posts and I cut my time spent on there because she commented on anything I was tagged in. I agree that if she wants a relationship with them, she needs to be willing to honor their feelings (and change hurtful behaviors) and they need to be in a place that they can have the door cracked just enough to give her a chance. You’re a good friend for wanting to help her with some bumpers. I agree, though, the best thing you can do is just voice support that it sounds hard, etc.
  6. We got that jacket for oldest son last year (non hooded version) and he loved it. Packing it away in the self store pocket was super quick and easy - a home run for the high schooler who refused to wear and lug around a heavy coat and his mom who refused to let him stand around freezing at the bus stop 🙂 25% off is about as good as it gets for LL Bean. Glad you got it and hope you love it!
  7. I tip $20 on a $32 pedicure (so about $50 total). That might sound crazy, but I’m there for 40/45 minutes with someone totally focused on my feet :) I run 3-5 days a week and go for a pedicure every 8 weeks. The technician deserves a decent tip :)
  8. When DH and I got married, my dad offered a set amount of $ and my mom paid for my dress (under $500) and the photographer. My dad's gift didn't cover all of the other expenses but we were both working decent jobs and decided we could afford the difference. We went with simple flowers and I remember trying all different avenues to try and get the cost of flowers down - I thought the $1k quote was outrageous. I think in the end it was $500 and MIL paid 20% of it in secret and had the shop manager tell me he was giving us a discount because she knew I was working the budget and she wanted me to relax a little 🙂 Bridesmaids dresses were off the rack from a department store for $80 each. I loved how everything came together at our wedding and people still talk about it almost 20 years later. It was simple with a lot of homemade aspects, and very down to earth. My dad has called me after leaving a few weddings of his friends' children and been blown away by the over the top events and costs. It would be interesting to see what our wedding would cost today if we went with the same options but in today's dollars.
  9. If I were someone resigning from a job where I received health benefits, I would ask HR once I resigned when my current insurance would terminate. Some employers pay for a month ahead, or a pay period ahead or real time. So you could have up to the remainder of the month, two weeks, or nothing. Once that insurance terminates is when the COBRA coverage would begin. You will get a letter in the mail but that can take several days to arrive. You have up to 60 days to enroll and it goes retroactively back to the day you didn't have the employer plan. As PPs mentioned, it is expensive. However, given the timing of the year, if you've met deductibles, etc it may be less expensive than signing up for a new marketplace plan and starting deductibles all over. COBRA is the same plan you had through the employer, but now you are paying the full premium. We've had one instance where paying for COBRA made the most sense and another when the marketplace made more sense. Good luck!
  10. Guitar pick punch (got one for DS a couple of years ago on Amazon), SmartWool socks, check out the Man Crates website for something woodworking related.
  11. My oldest has had a tutor for Algebra 1, Algebra 2 and Spanish. The Algebra 1 tutor always came to our house. I loved that I didn't have to do anything - it was like a magical math fairy showed up to our home and made our house peaceful. Algebra 2 and Spanish tutors met with DC 1-2 days a week in our home, but no set schedule. I paid an hourly fee. One tutor offered to discount if we went with a "pack" of sessions, but I didn't know what our long term needs would be, so we went week to week. A couple of times DC had an SOS moment and needed the tutor to work through something via FaceTime after trying all of their other tools in their toolbox to figure it out. I paid the tutor the same hourly rate as if they were in the home - it was for our convenience and they were making themselves available on short notice. Win win. I think your situation is unique in that the driving time is significant. But, you don't know long term if the remote sessions will be as effective as in person and I'm more of a keep it simple person. I would try to have just one rate - regardless of in person or remote - since the arrangement can fit different needs and at the end of the day, they are paying for your expertise / ability to teach and improve their child's skills. Plus, maybe the mom spends time tidying up for someone to come over and if you work remote, she's off the hook, lol.
  12. Do you trust her with your child(ren)? For me, if there was an activity that I really wanted to participate in my number one consideration would be if I could find reliable child care I trust. If you don't trust her, it's a non-starter. Next would be logistics. If you don't have time to get your kids to and from her house before and after the activity, it's a non-starter. I think if those two things work (you trust her and you can make the time for driving to / from) then it's a win-win - you will get to participate in an activity you really want to do and your friend will make a little extra $. I wouldn't feel right not paying a friend what market value was for her time / skill and I would also want her to feel like this is a babysitting job so if anything else came up for one of those nights, she would decline because of her commitment to babysitting. I don't think $10-13 an hour is an unfair rate at all. It was a huge sigh of relief once we had a few trusted babysitters who had their own transportation to come to us to babysit, so I understand that hesitation. But for a pleasurable activity, still worth a little hassle!
  13. In your situation, I would decide if I wanted to continue to send them gifts or not. If yes, since it's your goddaughter, I would probably mention casually as we got closer to the next holiday that you would appreciate it if she could let you know when she receives your gift. You want to make sure your mailed things arrive and just hearing she got it would be appreciated. Then move on to the next topic of conversation and see what happens. When I send gifts to my nieces and nephews, sometimes I don't hear they received them and I try to stay focused on the fact that I wanted to gift them something and picking something out or sending them $ brought me joy. If I had bad feelings about it, I would stop sending gifts.
  14. I'm so sorry for the news, Quill. Praying for you.
  15. It's his second year in B&M school. He's going to a school different than what we're zoned for, so it's a further drive. Ironically, he forgot maybe 1 thing last year when he was less than 3 miles away and this year it's happened 3 times when it's a 25 minute drive each way. Part of it is adjusting to block scheduling and he has two backpacks for the different days. One day he just flat out brought the wrong backpack. He doesn't have a PE locker and one day the time of his sport changed to right after school and he didn't have his workout clothes with him. Arcadia, like you said, I've been trying to show him grace but I've got to draw a line. One of my rules needs to be backpack must be packed up and by the door the night before and he needs to bring workout clothes regardless of when the workout time is posted. The day he brought the wrong one, he was scrambling to get out the door on time. I can't figure out the dynamic with the friends needing rides meaning if they really *need* a ride or if DS offers for us to take them with us. He has one friend who always needs a ride - his parents have yet to drive one leg to or from an activity / outing. I like being able to hear what the kids are saying and just being a fly on the wall so to speak, but I'm tired, lol. Plus, some parents I don't know very well and I guess my control tendencies mean I would rather drive and know they are with a responsible person. But I do want DS to start feeling some sense of responsibility in coordinating rides versus thinking mom is on call. Thanks for the support and practical suggestions. I'm going to think more about this today and then have a meeting with him and DH/dad before dinner tonight to set some rules / boundaries. I like the ticket idea but I need to make sure I will be consistent.
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