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Everything posted by Janeway

  1. i am also confused about where to take the 529 from. When I called around to a few places, they would say they use the one from this state or that. Can you please point me in the direction to start?
  2. I have only saved money for college in regular investment type accounts. But now I am wondering if I should have education funds too. I know it is too late for my oldest, at least I think it is too late, but I am thinking about the younger ones.
  3. I know I am being a total newb here..but....for the big preview type tours, I just wore whatever was comfy. But what if you are going to a smaller tour at a smaller school? As in, one you individually scheduled, but of course could have others on it, it is just it will be smaller? So people would notice your existence. Would you dress nicer? Or would you go with shorts and tops for a hot day?
  4. I agree. There are risks with the illness and risks with the shots. Measles used to be considered a normal childhood illness. It was featured in books and TV shows as normal childhood illnesses like the chicken pox. Now, I hear from young parents who grew up with the chicken pox shot that it is deadly and children who get it will be scarred for life. It scars the lungs even and throat and kills. I think people confuse Chicken Pox with Small Pox. Fact is, once a pharmaceutical invents something, they have a marketing campaign and those marketing campaigns make it sound like a child will surely die if not vaccinated. Oh, and vaccinations are risk free. I notice when we go to the ped now, we are never given a list of risks like we used to many years ago. We do not do the MMR because it is embryo derived and we are prolife. But I also do not think the shot is safer than the illness.
  5. Science....Mystery Science and Considering God's Creation History...Story of the World Spelling...Spelling Workout Math....up in the air about this...I have Beast Academy so I would like to try it. But if that does not work out, it will likely be either Singapore Math Is Edition or BJU Math. Handwriting....Zaner-Bloser Writing....also up in the air. I might just do my own thing. Latin...Getting Started with Latin Also, she seems to enjoy MCP Maps, Charts, and Graphs so we might do that. We also will be doing things like nature classes, art classes, and gymnastics.
  6. I love the 1.5 story design. We have a two story now and had looked at some 1.5 story houses when house hunting and regret not getting one. A 1.5 story house is basically defined as a house that could be a one story and still be a complete house. So basically, at least 3 bedrooms (master included) and two baths on the first floor. Upstairs would have less bedrooms, sometimes no bedrooms and only has a game room and/or media room. Might have up to two bedrooms upstairs. One regret we have in this current house is upstairs, we have a huge bonus room/media room (it is listed as a media room on the floor plan, but the builder added in a window) and a game room. You have to walk through the gameroom to get to the media room. That is upstairs. It just feels like wasted space to me. Also, when you walk in, you can go up the stairs which are to the side of the entry way, which is normal and fine. And then there is a balcony upstairs, long balcony. I can see how a toddler (and my children have demonstrated it to me through the years) can step on to the ledge of the stair case outside of the railing and climb and end up 12 feet above the tile floors. Also, our bedroom is at the top of the stairs, but to the left so it is where the balcony is. This means, I hear everything. Anyone goes in to the kitchen, I can hear it. It is not a huge issue because I do have a fan. But if the kids get loud, it can be. One other thing, this house does not have enough storage space. My second choice to a 1.5 story is anything with the master in the same space as the secondary bedrooms. I cannot stand having a master down while everything else is up. Before bed, I check on the kids and such. I just have to be on the same floor as them. So, a 2 story with master up or a 1 story with master down.
  7. I remembered it so well too. I did not watch the show though. She was such a sweet person I understand and it is horrible what happened.
  8. But you do realize, you could still have a real jerk in your class, or bully even, who does not have ASD. Being a crappy person is not a diagnostic criteria of someone with ASD. To me, Jake does not sound like a crappy person, just based on your description. You are the one there so you would know more. But Jake sounds like he may have low functioning ASD mixed with low cognitive abilities as well as ADHD, based on your description. But of course, it is never good to arm chair diagnose anyone. But I do have a point I am trying to get to. ASD alone does not look like a crappy person. When IQ gets lower, a child will pretty much qualify for an ASD diagnosis now. I remember working with cognitively challenged children and under the current ASD diagnostic criteria, each and every one of them would fit. When you have global delays, that affects one's social abilities. There are a lot of us who have felt that ASD spectrum should not be called just ASD spectrum. There are different causes of ASD, different presentations, and the diagnostic criteria gives to broad of a scope to really fit a disorder. It is like..grouping together the common cold, bronchitis, pneumonia, and lung cancer in to one category and calling it a spectrum. And then there are prejudices and discrimination that is very harsh that people with ASD have to face. Also, I think we are having a definition issue in our discussions. I would define someone who is abusive or mean to be a crappy person. I would qualify someone who is annoying or even very annoying as, well, annoying.
  9. Thing is, your dad was not ever diagnosed. Your dad has had bad behavior and you think it might be because he had ASD, and then you have drawn conclusions about ASD based on his behavior. Another person imagines that a child who has ASD would make a horrible MIL in the future. It is this type of misperceptions about ASD that autism awareness is trying to get rid of.
  10. I have never met a bully with ASD. I have met plenty of crappy people, none of whom have any signs of ASD. Someone not laughing at a joke or having an expression that someone else interprets as negative hardly qualifies as a crappy person. However, the person who gossips about or tears down someone or beats up someone who doesn't have the facial expression they wanted them to have..that is a crappy person. I see a lot of blame the kid with ASD going on on this thread.
  11. There is no overlap. People with ASD can hyperfocus on something, but not all do. They don't always pick up on social clues and often have high anxiety. They can find it difficult to understand or relate to someone else's interests People with NPD, actual NPD and not just being called a narcissist, are harmful. They will hurt people to get what they want. They do pick up on social clues and use that to their advantage to harm others. People with NPD do not simply have a lack of interest or understanding of others. It is the complete opposite. They understand others and manipulate and seek to harm others. Completely not the same as ASD and there is no overlap at all.
  12. First..I am going to say....who says NT people are "normal" and people with ASD are "not normal?" Or that having symptoms of ASD comes off as a "crappy person?" The crappiest people I know don't have ASD or signs of it. People I have known with ASD tend to be kinder and look at things in a less judgmental way and more with an open mind. I am sure many people prior to recent generations have had ASD and gone undiagnosed. But that also beckons the question to if we are overdiagnosing or labeling something that doesn't need a label? In the "olden days" kids would be outside riding bikes, exploring, running and playing, climbing on playground equipment or up in trees. All that sensory input would reduce the affects of ASD. ASD is largely a sensory issue.
  13. Thanks. Sometimes I type up a post and then tell myself not to post it yet, think about it more and then I come back a few hours later and close the window without posting. Sometimes typing it out makes things more clear. Here is a post I made a year was clear she had not homeschooled was only in the plans.
  14. I don’t know why prairiemom says homeschooling didn’t work for my daughter when she didn’t homeschool. There was a strong desire from my daughter to homeschool last year. I had intended to homeschool her last year. At the last second, after struggling with the decision to try this school for her, we went with this school. I have never pulled my children in and out of homeschool all over the place.
  15. Those earlier problems prairiemom said happened never happened. My daughter has never homeschooled. I had planned to homeschool her this year but never did and went with this school instead. My older kids started homeschooling when they were older than she is now and they returned to brick and mortar school around high school time. There has never been any in and out of schools. My talking about struggles my children with autism have does not justify any remarks about being unable to handle homeschooling or claims of instability.
  16. There is no pattern of pulling children in and out of school. This child has never homeschool. The post about the child with special needs only started homeschooling this past yearfor the first time. My older children came home to homeschool mid/late grade school and went back to school around high school, no other changes.
  17. What did you do then? The hostility is the worst part. Last night, he spit at his little brother who is a preschooler. I had him hold soap in his mouth for 60 seconds and then sent him to bed for the night.
  18. The question is..does this sound like only ASD and ADHD (no hyper in this) The 9 yr old has a lot of problems. He is very negative and taunts his little siblings a lot and gets very angry and slants everything toward how angry he is at everyone for slighting him. Example...we took him to a festival last weekend. We let him do activities, we bought him treats which includes hamburger, chips, fries, Dr Pepper, and a funnel cake. Before we left, we bought him a wooden sword and shield set and even bought one for his little brother just so he would have someone to play with. His little brother was not asking for one but thought it would be more fun for 9 yr old if both had one. We get in the car and are driving home and he was perfectly happy when he suddenly remembered he wanted the ipad. So he asks if he can have the ipad as soon as we get home. I said "we just finished at the festival, I was hoping you all would play together a little bit, so let's just talk about that later." Generally, I save the ipad for bad weather days and it is actually more for the evening after dinner. It was only about 3pm at this point. He started yelling and kicking "oh come on!!!! No fair!!!!! I never get to do anything I like!!! I am just a slave!!!" And this was not a whine type scream. This was more of a loud yell, like where if he were a grown man yelling like that, people would have felt threatened. A couple days later, during the week, he said he would like to have Frosted Flakes. Then, the next day, I went to the grocery and for groceries and got Frosted Flakes too. I was thinking specifically of him when I got it. But when I walked in the door and he saw the Frosted Flakes, he started yelling and bellowing "come on!!!!!! That's not fair!!! You got Frosted Flakes and I wanted them!!!!" He just automatically defaulted to anger. I looked at him with a shocked look on my face and said.. "yeah, you wanted them, that is why I got them, you asked for them." And then he calmed down in an instant and said "oh, yeah." And then he went on and ate them. He is currently diagnosed with ASD, but his DX was at 3 yrs old. I am betting when we do a re-eval, something else will be added. We plan do a re-eval around 12 yrs old. We have a big deductible and know an eval is recommended when he goes through puberty so we do not want to try to go one now (or in a year, however long the wait list is now) only to have to return a year or two later for another one. He basically does his school work, not a ton of problem there. However, when I am teaching him, he wants to talk about everything else. If I try to re-direct him, he will blurt out at me screaming "I was talking! No one ever listens to me!!!" This is completely untrue. This is just like all the other times where he claims he never gets to do anything, as we leave a festival. Or claiming he is a slave when he barely does chores. His chores are fit for a 3 yr old. Today is a good example of the problem I am having and wondering if I should step away from interactive curriculum. On the other hand, with ASD, the interaction might just be a good learning time for him, even though he has a long way to go. Today, I had him do his warm up work. Then we started on the math lesson. It was on weighing things. The plan was to go over the lesson and then go to the grocery store to weigh things and check out the measurements and weights on the products at the grocery. One of the first pictures showed a scale where the needle was pointing at 2 LB. I asked him to tell me what the weight was...he looks around and says "what kind of car should I get when I grow up?" and I say we are not talking about that right now, we need to focus on the math. To let you know, he gets plenty of breaks between lessons and I keep lessons short. He has no trouble focusing on something he wants to do. He moves on to other unrelated topics. I kept telling him to look at the page and tell me what the sugar weighs. He glances at it but is dismissive of me. Finally, he gives me the answer but complains about his brother. At this point, 3 yr old is asking for help with his train. I tell 9 yr old that we have been doing math for a while now and this is not fair to the 3 yr old. The 3 yr old should get to have a mom too so 9 yr old just needs to look at the next problem. I explain what the scale is doing in the next problem and even tell him "so this is 7 pounds." Then I say to him "how much is this?" and he stares at it a while and finally gets around to saying "6 pounds." I say...ok, let's back up. Let me explain this again. He starts screaming at me that I am not listening to him, he already answered, it is 6 pounds. Now the 3 yr old is crying because I have not even read him a book this morning. This feels like more than ASD and ADD. He is so different from my older child who has an ASD DX but no ADHD. Also, any suggestions on things to do when working with him to improve things now? He loves handicrafts and gardening and everything. He does not struggle academically at all. And any suggestions as to what might be going on with him so I can research ways to help him? Also, I do not think ODD would even be it because even though he argues with me, he is actually kind of decent about doing things I asked of him. He just cannot focus at all or remember what he was doing for five minutes.
  19. I asked before about the trouble with the work at the school my daughter is in, but with the notion that I should pull her out over the summer and move back to home schooling for the fall. But here we are, 30 school days left, and it is torture. I feel like I am being tortured. We get up at 6am. We leave the house at 7am. By 2:55p-3p I am sitting in the hot school car pick up line with the sun coming in at me. Even when she gets in the car, the traffic in the car line is heavy enough that we do not get out of the parking lot until about 3:15pm and home about 3:30pm. Within moments of being in the car, she starts crying about the homework she has to do that night. Last night, I actually did most of the home work for her and it took thirty minutes just for the part I did. They claim the entire homework should take 15 minutes. Before we get home, she is saying she wants to ride her bike, but I know I need a good amount of time to sit with her to do school work. Plus, by this time of day, I am exhausted. She must be exhausted too because she is super whiney. Yesterday, she hid in her room in a tantrum to try to get out of her work. The teacher gives a piece of candy the the kids with the best handwriting. So my daughter will write a letter and then erase and then re-write and so on, and end in tears saying her handwriting is awful. I find myself looking at the calendar and counting and recounting the actual school days left. Part of me thinks I should stick it out, just 30 school days left. But another part of me thinks, that is more school days than from Thanksgiving to Christmas and that feels like forever. That's 30 days we could work on recovering from this brutal year and rebooting our energy for next year. I feel like I would be insulting the teacher, hurting feelings, whatever else, if we left now. That maybe we need to finish what we started. But on the other hand, we had been home schooling in the first place and I was really on the fence about giving this place a try in the beginning anyway.
  20. Do not put him on a limiting diet until after the biopsy. Being on a celiac free diet can make the biopsy give a false negative. Also, the blood test is not 100%. Do not limit his diet based on the blood test. My child had a positive on the blood test and then did not have Celiac Disease. That is it. That is my only good advice. Good luck! Let us know how the biopsy turns out.
  21. He wants to major in philosophy and teach some day. Classics is a very close second choice and would make it so he could teach at the high school level (there is a Latin teaching certificate option in this state). UTD does not offer Latin at all, so no chance for any sort of teaching certificate there. They do sort of have a philosophy department, but on College navigator, it does not even list philosophy as a major there. UTD website does list that they have a major and from the visit, they apparently have a major, technically. It is still on the list for places for him to apply.
  22. I cannot find a book for it. Does anyone have good recommendations, online, books, or otherwise, for studying for this? Thanks!
  23. We should qualify. For example, when I did the Princeton University net price calculator, it said family contribution (but broke down in to student and parent) was less than $5000. I am sure Princeton, which is next to impossible to get in to, probably has the best aid of all. I feel like if a school is more selective, it will probably have better financial aid. Meanwhile, at Baylor, where he would easily get in and get in to the honors program, the aid would be mostly limited to scholarships. And when we spoke to them, they said when scholarships are awarded, they reduce the need based aid, even if need had not been met.
  24. I am feeling clueless and realizing we started this a bit late. Son is end of junior year. He ranks quite well in his class at his classical education school. He has not taken the SAT yet. His PSAT index score was a 220. He wants to major in philosophy (top choice), classics, maybe is starting to consider something such as psychology. I understand he would like a career in academia. He is a very book smart kind of person. He loved UTD when we toured and liked Baylor. UTD is probably not the best choice for the majors he likes. We did not get to tour Hendrix or Rhodes (my car went kaput the weekend leading up to when we were supposed to go, hope to visit later). I am realizing we will need to open up our list of schools to look at to go further away from where we live. Oh yeah, he has always wanted to consider Hillsdale. And he will need financial aid. I am at a complete loss!!!! I do not even know where to start. Most my information is based on my own perceptions from decades ago when I went. Please advise schools for us to start researching. On search engines, putting in philosophy as a major seems to be too broad. It would be nice to have some schools for him to consider that would be more of reach schools too, as well as middle level ones. IF I still lived in the midwest, I might seriously consider Carleton, St Olaf, and Macalester. But I have a family member who currently works for Carleton so kind of thinking of just staying away from that direction. And I don't know as much about Macalester as I do about St Olaf and Carleton. I am in Texas but am not limiting to staying close anymore. Honestly, Baylor did not feel like that great of a fit, but will do if need be. It is clearly a fine school, just not quite what I think would fit the bill for him. Please help! Thank you so much!!!
  25. One huge gap we have in mental healthcare is that people with mental health needs often do not recognize it and the people around them they do have no legal rights to get help for the ones who need help. BUT, with the other huge gap, which is the actual help being available or being helpful, not sure the first huge gap matters terribly much. But it does. Both matter. Even in states with laws that allow someone to taken in and evaluated, it is only done when the person is proven to be a danger to themselves or others and then it is just an inpatient thing. So, until someone is actually ready to kill themselves or others, and it is provable that they are in that condition, nothing can be done. Same with drug abuse, same with human trafficking.
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