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Janeway

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Everything posted by Janeway

  1. No. I could afford it, assuming he does not pick an expensive one, but I know nothing about bass guitars so no idea what I would buy for this. I have grown to realize that if this were something he really wanted, he would do the research in to it. So I have told him to research it and let me know if he finds what he likes within my budget. If not, it might be better saved for later, when he can buy it for himself. He is not far off from graduating so hopefully, he will be employed and able to afford it himself.
  2. Nope. Nephew wanted one his whole life and then got one as an adult. Even though he does not play, he does have it on a stand in his main living area and likes having it like that. He has said that he realizes now that he never likely would have had the devotion to learn to play, but he still likes having it as it was just something he wanted so much as a child.
  3. He does not have a way to pay for it at all. He does work, but is in school fulltime so what little he earns goes toward his expenses. But I did decide to tell him he needs to research this himself and this is something that I know nothing about and I cannot just go to a local store and pick up "a bass guitar." There are so many options and variety, And I told him that it would likely put me outside of my budget. I realize that I would never have gone to my parents and ask for "a Barbie doll" and then just hope they would get me one I wanted. I think if he were actually wanting this, he would have done some research to figure out what would be good.
  4. Son (22 yrs old, college student so too broke to buy anything for himself) has said for a while that he wants a bass guitar. I guess I just was not thinking of that when he mentioned wanting head phones and maybe a gym bag would be nice. I already spent about $200 on really nice head phones on a Black Friday sale. I also bought him a gym/duffle bag. Tonight, he reminds me of how much he really wants a Bass Guitar. I know nothing about bass guitars. The entire thing baffles me. I also worry if I just pick up the cheaper one from Guitar center that has half way decent reviews, that it will actually be an awful one. Plus, there is a thing with needing an amp. My spending limit for Christmas is $200-300. I am torn between just giving him what I have for him (which will include a video game and some books too, as well as the other things), and starting down the long path of researching bass guitars. Also, I am worried that will be all for nothing as it seems I hear others how they had wanted a guitar or such, but once they got it, they regretted it and it never got used. My husband got a guitar when he was young and it turned out like that. Now nephew has gotten one and he has been surprised to find he actually does not want to play it, does not have the time or desire to invest in learning how to play. Okay, my 22 yr old actually plays piano so it might be different for him. I am just so torn! I don't want to have to do the work to research this but I also want to give a gift that he really likes. Any advice?
  5. Wallpaper in my house, as in, on my walls. Yep, that is my pipe dream.
  6. Non-dairy milk is not really milk. And boycotting Thanksgiving "on principal" is stupid. 99% of the world has something to be thankful for and Thanksgiving is not simply a holiday to celebrate colonialism. It is meant to celebrate the things we should appreciate, which, in this day and age, so few seem to realize that they can be a little more appreciative and caring and a little less indignant.
  7. Yes, I have. Such wonderful memories. Sadly, there was a huge storm that damaged one house I lived in, so it no longer looks as nice. But such good memories there! The hardest is my grandparents house. They lived there most of my life and sold the house in 2017. We wanted to buy the house, but my husband got laid off just before it went up for sale. Otherwise, we should have bought it. It is in a rural area and went for such a low price that we could have easily have paid for it on the side while also maintaining our current house. However, we would have sold this house by now and moved there permanently. I dream about that house too.
  8. We did a classic one. The model number started with TC. We are happy. Also, we do several loads a day and it is going great. We have had it a few years. I highly recommend it.
  9. They do not seek you out. You generally have to ask, they sometimes have lines and you have to wait.
  10. I wanted a dash cam so bad and my husband and oldest son insisted it would violate our privacy. My oldest son is the same one who does not want an Alexa in the same room as them. Anyway, a few months ago, I was driving through a parking lot when a car backed in to my car. They insisted I backed in to them even though all the damage was on the side of my car and I was driving through, going to the exit. I had been parked at a different store much further down. My insurance did not find me at fault, but never went after that person so I was stuck paying the copay. IF I had had a dashcam, it would have shown what she did. However, heck, IF the insurance companies just bothered to look at the damages, her car was hit on the back and mine on the side..it was clear that she backed in to me. I am still angry about it.
  11. Find out when the samples are. At the store closest to me, it is 11:30am-1:30pm about. They have other times, but those are the main ones. Sometimes, I take the kids and they love it. Other than that, just watch the impulse buying. They have so much that is there for a limited time only that it is tempting to buy something you never would have wanted otherwise.
  12. It is because people usually self diagnose for the purpose of explaining their faults. No one says "hey, I am so good at physics, must be the ASD in me." They will say "I just get angry and cannot handle that, must be the ASD." So in the absence of an actual DX, even though someone might feel like they have ASD, they should not state they have it. What I am saying is not contrary. A formal DX can be helpful just so you know and so you can legit blame things or credit things on ASD. But as far as getting help or services for things, most things, such as ASD medication or therapy for sensory issues, etc, can all be obtained without an formal DX. There are some government services to help fund some things when someone has a formal DX, but those are very limited and often have big waitlists and/or tons of endless paperwork that blocks the way to getting help. It is really not contrary to say people should not self diagnose and also that there is not much benefit to a formal diagnosis. And for the record, I said not much benefit or rarely a benefit, not that there was "no" benefit. There can be job training programs for people with ASD. Would she ever want to use those programs? If not, then I have run out of benefits to a formal DX. Oh, there is one more. Most people who self diagnose do find out that they do not have it when they go through testing. There are other things, such as mood disorders and personality disorders, and even just things like a social disorder, auditory processing disorders, etc, that would be treated in a different way from ASD. But most people who self diagnose do so to explain away negative attributes, thereby furthering the notion that ASD is simply a bad thing. And those negative attributes, even if the person actually has ASD, is often caused by other issues. For example, a person keeps getting fired from their job because they don't want to do the work while there. That person self diagnoses ASD and says the ASD is the reason why, aka, blame the autism, not the person. ANd, AKA, this furthers the stereotype that people with ASD cannot keep their jobs and are unreliable. Fact is, people with ASD can and do keep their jobs. ASD did not cause this person to behave poorly.
  13. No benefit at all honestly. It is just a label. Unless she is planning to use the DX for specialized funding. But where I live, there are long waitlists for those things anyway. And any of the individual things can be worked on or accomodated in school settings without the actual ASD DX. On that note though, it is not really good to self-diagnose. It is one of those things where people with ASD get tired of the many many people who say "that is so ASD of me" and self diagnosing stuff.
  14. I want to add another point. You are not the one who has had to deal with the turmoil of someone who is unreliable and frequently not showing up/calling in. I am guessing you do not realize the extremely heavy toll this has taken on SIL. The hard work she does in dealing with these things needs to be respected, unless you want to be the one to handle it all. If you do not live close, the grandmother could be moved closer or you could move closer to her. It is okay you do not agree with everything, but SIL is closer to the situation and as long as she is doing all this work, she needs to be given the right to handle it how she feels fit. You know how it feels when an outsider thinks they know how to parent your children better than you can, even though the outsider is not actually dealing with it? That is how this would feel to SIL. SIL is trying to make the best of a bad situation. You definitely need to let it go and step back and let SIL do what she needs to do.
  15. I would stay out of it and I would not give a gift. The aide needs to learn the horse lesson that if she can’t show up at work, she’s going lose her job. You are not helping her at all by giving her a big gift like that and you have to get along with your sister-in-law not with the aide, and this is going to cause family disharmony.
  16. This is the first year my grandmother won’t be buying pajamas for the kids. But she never bought them Christmas themed. I did buy the kids new ones this year. The younger ones are getting Christmas themed. I just love the Christmas pajamas and they will wear them all year.
  17. Which mattress was it? We stayed in a Holiday Inn where we loved the mattress. I did research at the time in to which one it was, but now cannot find the information.
  18. We bought a Saatva. The first was defective. They sent us a replacement. It was great the first few months. Now it has ridges that are so obvious, that you can stand away from the bed and see it. When I put a yard stick across it, it is a sudden 1.5 inch drop. Now we are desparate to find a new mattress, specifically, plush, before we run out of our 365 day trial period. I do not even know what to do. This is beyond frustrating. We would love to get e Purple mattress, but it costs a lot more and there are a certain amount of complaints online about those not being so great after a couple years. Does anyone have good advice for me?
  19. I do not think it will be denomination specific. I grew up Lutheran and Catholic and neither churches had music worth writing home about. However, the Lutheran one was nice as they always had the congregates involved so you had everything from the little children's choir to the confirmands lighting the candles. However, in recent years, I found a small PCA church to have amazing music. This is because in the PCA churches, the congregates are involved and do everything and the music leader had his degree in music from Yale and was using his skill at the church. One Lutheran church here, that used to be fine and I used to go to has gone way way down hill. The service is bizarre complete with people dancing like genie style dancing with waving scarves and all, in the aisles. Then the Methodist church that we now attend, they have a nice orchestra, a bell choir, music choirs, etc. The Methodist church we attended, in the same town, did not have all that going on. (both were United Methodist too).
  20. If he is young enough, I would tell him that Santa does not bring penguins. But, if he is past that, I would just tell him no. I would never rely on distracting him. He will likely remember that one thing he really really wanted and was thinkng he would get.
  21. I want to do a retro theme on one of my Christmas trees this year. I’ve already bought shiny Brite ornaments, as well as bubble lights. I have the loose tinsel on order. My older sister has warned me that loose tinsel can kill dogs or otherwise harm dogs, because they might try to eat it. My dogs do eat grass so maybe this could be an issue. I have also considered old timey string silver garland, but I am concerned that that would be more of a 1970’s and beyond theme. I am aiming to make the tree look more like one my mom would have had when she was a child. I have no pictures of the trees she had. So I am aiming for 40’s and 50’s. Maybe early 60’s. I have seen thin string garland. Also, I have beads already, just plain red shiny. I am thinking getting Shiny Brite beaded garland would maybe run the costs up too much. Any opinions or knowledge on this time period?
  22. I had so many problems with HP. And my brother was working for HP and kept offering us free printers. The printers were so bad that I turned them down even when they were free. Now I have a brother printer and I love it. It’s the cheapest basic one and it’s great. People here recommended in a few years ago and I really like it. It is still going all these years later.
  23. I want to second what Moonhawk is saying. Do this next time she contacts you. Seriously, please do this. Because I am fuming over how that woman is treating your son and talking about him.
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