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About Hyacinth

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee

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  1. This mom of 17- and 18-yo boys needs commiseration and encouragement. Thanks!
  2. Congratulations! Yes, reference checking is a good sign!
  3. Oh, he had groupies. They look different from the Van Halen groupies of the 1980s, but they're out there. I suspect the women thought he found them special in some way. So it wasn't, "I want these $40 tickets SO BADLY I'll do ANYTHING to get them." It was more, "Oh wow. This super funny and famous Christian man wants to spend time with me. He's flirting with me. It could be fun to start something with him. Maybe we'll fall in love . . . "
  4. Kind of unrelated...but I read this morning about how U2 had a strict no-tolerance policy when they were on tour for any kind of sexual favors, harassment, using/abusing women. They recognized long before the me-too movement that they had power and influence and they could easily misuse it. The tour manager (I think?) was the enforcer. How wise of them. I’ve read in a few places that John Crist’s behavior was something of an open secret in his circles. So people around him enabled him. It’s a familiar tale by now. All of the high-profile cases have that similar pattern, don’t they? Sigh. Anyway, I hope if he does come back (and I’m a fan of his sarcastic, mocking humor), he does so with a whole lot more than a vague statement about completing whatever rehab with his Onsite buddies and instead commits to some tangible repentance and ongoing accountability. Maybe the U2 enforcer guy is available.
  5. Thanks, happysmiley. I’m being vague, I know. But I’m trying to respect privacy and maintain objectivity. They both think they can pick up where they left off (“talking” but moving toward boyfriend/girlfriend relationship). I think that’s unwise. They need to take a step back. Keep talking, sure, but establish a friends-only boundary. I’m trying to explain why that’s best.
  6. A teen boy and teen girl were “talking” for a couple of months. Mostly texting with an occasional outing together. Shockingly, the girl tried to take her life last week. How would you advise either of them regarding the wisdom of pursuing a romantic boyfriend/girlfriend relationship?
  7. It makes sense from the employer’s side, especially (as others have pointed out) when you’re trying to coordinate several schedules. But to assume applicants will drop everything (including—hello?!—work obligations) without any real notice is so shortsighted. It smells of “We’re so awesome and you’re lucky to have this opportunity. If you don’t want it, someone else will.” Which may be true in a way, but they have no idea who they’re passing over by not better considering the applicant experience.
  8. No, but 50+ years ago my dad sold vacuum cleaners door to door, and that's how he met my mom.
  9. Does the posting say (or can you infer) what kind of writing you'd be doing for the job? If so, I'd write something like that. Check the site for blog pasts or see what content their social media feeds link to. Then write something similar. A how-to article or a listicle of some kind, maybe? Unless they bring it up first, wait until the offer to bring up the unpaid time off. By that point, they're committed to making it work and they'll accommodate you. Good luck!
  10. I have a few that I think are fairly common for anxiety or a general sense of being overwhelmed There’s the one about showing up to class for the final test but realizing I’ve never been to any of the classes all semester and can’t find the room. There’s the one about getting ready for a big event (like my wedding) but not having something I really need (like my shoes or my dress or my makeup). Once in a while I dream that my teeth are falling out. Not sure what that one’s about.
  11. Peace Like a River by Leif Enger. Beautiful writing, supremely likable characters, and a theme of redemption.
  12. Over the years we’ve tried every lotion, potion, diet, and supplement imaginable for ds’s eczema. What we finally hit on that is working beautifully is phototherapy. See if you have a dermatologist nearby that offers it and go for a consultation.
  13. Textbook introvert here. My first thought is WHY is someone “dropping by?” If they need to return a dish and they leave the car running to indicate they won’t be staying long, okay, I guess. But a text first would be nice. If they’re coming by just to chat, well, I don’t even know how to imagine anyone other than my best friend of 35 years doing that. And she wouldn’t without texting first. Two issues for me: One, I work from home, so if someone just dropped by I’d have to stop working to accommodate them. That’s not always possible. Two, neither hospitality nor chit chat come easily for me. I need time to mentally and physically prepare for it. And then I need time to recover from it. I’m not an anxiety-riddled cave dweller. I like many people and I like spending time with them. Just let me plan for it.
  14. I write résumés, so I talk with job seekers all the time. The hoops they go through is so demoralizing. No salary range provided, yet you tell us your salary requirements; "applications without this information will not be considered." Online systems that ask you to attach your resume and then fill in fields with the exact same information. So time -consuming! Ridiculously delayed follow-up / no follow up. Video interviews with no actual person on the other side of the screen. Just an automated question with you trying to act natural as you answer it. "Entry-level" jobs asking for 3-5 years of experience. Freelance jobs with on-site requirements and specified hours (illegal).
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