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Storygirl last won the day on April 11

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  1. Oh, and the mom volunteered that they have not been impressed with the intervention science teacher (who also is the intervention teacher for the social studies class, so both boys have him for two classes, plus he is DS's case manager). She said they have not felt that he is as on top of things as he should be. I had not told her any of my own feelings about this teacher when she brought that up, and I had not told her any details about our interactions with him. I don't know. It just makes me feel better that DH and I are not the only ones who have been disappointed with some things about the teacher. Because I would rather have objective reactions to all of this, instead of emotional ones. The emotions are inevitable, of course, but I don't want them to lead my decision making.
  2. Okay, small update. I talked with the other mom and got the scoop about their experience. They requested for their son to switch to the resource room level science class, because he was struggling similarly to my son and hovering close to failing. In their case, they did not discuss things with the science intervention teacher or special ed director (as we have). They talked first with their IEP case manager (from the English department) and the guidance counselor. He moved down at the family's request. And within a week, their son was back in the gen ed co-taught class, because the resource room class was a huge drop in academic level and placed him with students who were not his academic peers. It was an obvious wrong fit. Obviously, what is right for another kid is not necessarily right for mine. HOWEVER, the two boys are at a similar academic level. And their son is in the resource room class for English. (My son was in that class with him last year but was moved up). Their son likes the resource room English class, because it moves at an accessible pace. But the science class was different and not the correct fit. DS will still visit the science resource room class, to see for himself.
  3. Yes, I could visit the class. I saw a few minutes of one of the resource room science classes when we toured a few years ago, but I don't know what grade level it was for. DS is supposed to be visiting the class for a day. Maybe this week, but I'm not sure exactly when. Also, I'm going to see the mom of the friend who tried out that class temporarily. DS is going to homecoming tonight with a group of four or five guy friends, and they are meeting beforehand so that the moms can take pictures. I'll ask her if I can call her to get her impressions of the class.
  4. We aren't homeschooling any more. DS15 is enrolled in public high school, has learning disabilities, and won't take algebra until 10th grade. His math class this year is called Algebra, Geometry, Statistics and is abbreviated as AGS. In this class, the teachers do not use a set curriculum. Instead, they teach the skills needed to prepare for algebra. Every Friday, they have a skills quiz over what they have been practicing. Students can take a quiz over the same topic for three weeks in a row, if they need to repeat the information a few times, and they only record the highest grade. Each student in the class can move at his or her own pace; they group them in small groups of kids who are working on the same material at the same time. We toured a different high school, as well. In that school, the class for kids who were not ready for algebra in 9th grade is called Algebra Prep. So I think you could call his 9th grade math class Algebra Prep. If it will take two years to get through algebra, you could call 10th grade Algebra 1A and 11th grade Algebra 1B. 12th grade would be geometry. If your state has a graduate requirement to get through both geometry and algebra 2, he would not meet that if he takes algebra over two years, so you would have to consider that his transcript will not track with what is typical. In that case, either he only makes it through geometry. Or you could consider naming the last years of high school math differently. I can find copies of the course catalogues of our local schools online, and I have looked at them to see what they call non-typical classes. You might be able to get some ideas if you do that for schools in your area.
  5. Thanks! Because of changing schools, last fall was the first time we have had an IEP meeting with this school district. I always have a lot of discussion points, and his IEP meetings are always very long. I'll review his current IEP for vague wording and watch for it in the one we will be creating. Last year the administration person who was present was the district special education coordinator. Her actual title is Student Services Coordinator. But she said an an email that she "truly believes" a change of placement would be best, and since we may be in disagreement with her, it might be a good idea to ask if another administrator can be present as well.
  6. I find it frustrating that the school says they can do something. The teacher expresses reluctance and does not follow through. Yet the school is now suggesting the placement change. That does not sit right with me. The placement change would need to be discussed in an IEP meeting. I won't agree to it during this upcoming meeting with the teacher.
  7. His normally scheduled IEP meeting is on November 4, only three weeks away, so I think we can wait. In the meantime, we have asked to meet with the teacher and the special education manager. She is in charge for all of special education and IEPs for the district. She's been copied on all of the email messages so far, and I've had a few discussions in person with her during this first quarter, so she is informed. DH and were just talking a couple of days ago about alerting the principal. The principal is not in the loop. We did mention in one email last week that we were considering whether he should be informed and asked to attend the meeting with the science intervention teacher (the main science teacher is on maternity leave) and the special ed coordinator. We have been debating whether we should notify the principal and/or AP now, or do it after we try meeting with the science teacher first. If there is any documentation of refusal other than what is in this email chain, I have not seen it or been told that it exists. DS has not refused to do any regular assignments in any class. He is just refusing to do (optional) retakes. I don't know if that matters for documentation purposes. We have discussed many times that retakes do not have to be optional for DS. The special ed coordinator for the district said the "option" can be taken away. The science teacher has expressed a lot of reluctance (in these emails) about taking away the option and requiring retakes. And he has not had DS do any retakes, other than when he had the whole class redo some things last week.
  8. Because of the extent of DS's math and reading disabilities, I will not be at all surprised if we reach a point in high school where he cannot be in gen ed math and English classes and will be moved down to the resource room class. But the science resource room class, I am not sold on quite yet. I may get there, but not yet. I mentioned up thread that DS has a friend who moved from DS's science class down to the resource room. At first, the friend said it was great, because it was easier to understand. But then he complained to DS that he felt the teacher was talking to the students like they were stupid. And now, after a few weeks, the friend has been moved back up to the gen ed class again. I know each student is different, but DS and his friend share similar academic challenges. So I'm not willing to agree to that lower placement unless we have tried everything that can be done with his current placement. And I do not believe that everything has been done well yet. Have him retake things with low scores. Give him guided notes when note-taking is required, because DS cannot take adequate notes. Creating the guided notes will take the teacher's time; I get that, but there is really not a lot of note-taking in this class, unless the teacher keeps doing these video things, so it's not like guided notes have to be created daily by the teacher. Until October, there was no need for them at all in science class. There are other things in his IEP which would offer even more support, such as modifying assignments, that I don't even think would be needed, though they would be helpful. I'll be honest and say that I am not convinced that this is the best teacher. I have not shared on this thread all of the interactions we've had with him, but there are reasons that I think he is just not the greatest. And I think he has written off DS as a slacker. I'm not willing to change DS's placement, because a special ed teacher finds DS annoying to work with. And there have been indications in our communication with the teacher that suggest that. Note: I have no personal opinion about how the teacher talks to the students, and that description is from DS's friend. But it does represent a perspective that I would guess that DS will share. (He did move up from a resource room level social studies class in 8th grade into the gen ed social studies class, specifically because DS felt that he was not with academic peers, so it is a distinction that DS would be likely to notice and be bothered by).
  9. I am not opposed to DS being placed in a resource level classroom, if he cannot succeed in the gen ed class. But I do think that he can get a C in this class, if we can get him to redo assignments where he has scored lower than a C. And I think we can figure out a way to get him to redo assignments. As I mentioned up thread, just put them in his planner and have the study hall teacher tell him that is what he is to work on that day. Don't present it as optional. Just assign it. So if he can get a C in this class, and since it is a better social placement for him, then I don't think we need to change his placement. Will he learn a ton of science concepts? Probably not. Will it matter in the long run if he does not remember things from 9th grade science class? No, I don't think it will matter. That sounds kind of like I don't care about academics. I most certainly do. But I also know DS and have realistic expectations for what he, personally, will be able to do academically.
  10. These are things DS has declined: Retaking quizzes or redoing assignments (anything can have a retake, other than unit tests). DS has said no to the teacher regarding redoing assignments. There is a process: the student has to request a retake by filling out a form with the name of the assignment, writing out the reason that the student wants to redo it, getting a parent signature, and returning the form to the teacher. This form is not online, however, so the very first thing is that DS would have to do is ask for the form. When we realized the process of doing the form could be presenting a barrier (for multiple reasons), we asked the teacher if DS could skip the form. We gave blanket permission for him to redo anything. The teacher agreed. At home, we have discussed (multiple times) with DS the need to redo things and not refuse, and he will agree at home that he is willing to do it. But the teacher says that when he asks, DS says no. Honestly, because there is no documentation, I don't even know how many times the teacher has talked to DS about retaking things. Because it was set up as that process with the form, it was up to the student to make a request. I'm sure DS has not requested to retake anything. Whenever I ask DS if the teacher brought up doing retakes with him this week (any week), DS says no. But we have discussed with the teacher via email ad nauseum all of the issues related to retakes. The special ed coordinator said that retakes do not need to be presented as optional for DS; he can be required to do them. But the teacher comments in the email always go back to his feeling that he does not want to require DS to do things DS does not want to do. Teacher's notes DS does not accept them when they are available in class, but since they are online, it does not matter much that he refuses them in person. There have been very few teacher's notes, though. Declining the teacher's notes is not a big deal. The teacher keeps bringing it up, as if this is a big problem. But DS has access to the notes, so it's not a problem. The truth is that the teacher's notes are not very well done or helpful. It is not as if there are awesome teacher's notes that would help DS so much, if only DS would use them. So I would love there to be better teacher notes, but DS declining them is not an issue from our perspective. That's all that DS has declined, I believe. He has not been provided with any guided notes for science class. The only student note-taking has been related to this new series of video-related lessons. So he has not refused guided notes. He has not been provided with any.
  11. This is a key point when it comes to DS. DS has an ODD diagnosis and also ASD. His first response to any question that poses demands is "no." And in this case, it succeeds for him, because it allows him to avoid doing the extra work required to repeat assignments. The teacher does not ask if DS wants copies of teacher's notes (also one of his accommodations). The teacher posts them on the digital classroom, so anyone in the class can look at them on the computer or print them out. The teacher (sometimes/ always -- I don't know how consistent this is) has printed copies available for students to take with them after class. DS does not take them. But we can and have printed them at home, so that he has them in his folder. DS does not want to feel different from other students, and the teacher, if anything, is overly aware of this. He has said things in his emails such as, "I could give DS an alternate assignment, but I'm not sure how to do this, since DS would be the only one with something different." So he has not modified assignments for him, as far as I can tell, even though it would be acceptable under his IEP to do so, and even though we as parents have agreed to it. And even though the special ed coordinator for the district told us that the teacher could be modifying assignments.
  12. Thanks! We will see if they can produce any documentation of refusals. Right now it all seems verbal. As in "whenever I ask him, he says no." It seems to me, in our case, that it would be rather easy to solve the problem of the refusals. DS has an assisted study hall, and the study hall teacher supervises DS's homework. There is a digital planner that each teacher uses to record homework assignments (because DS has assistance with a planner in the IEP). When DS needs to redo an assignment or retake a quiz, the science teacher would not even need to say anything about it to DS; the assignment could just be placed on the planner as something that needs to be done. I have not suggested this to the school yet, but I will when we have our meeting. The guided notes accommodation here is for there to be notes that are partially filled out, so that the student just needs to fill out the parts that are missing. It's meant to help those with writing issues that would have a hard time starting from a blank page, or those who have difficulty getting all notes down quickly enough in the time allotted for note taking. It is vague, since the specific format could vary, depending on what kind of notes are required. I can see that teachers might not like this accommodation, because they have to create the document. But it is in the IEP nevertheless. DS has dysgraphia.
  13. I don't know how to manage this situation better. But I wanted to offer some support, because I have four children (less than Caedmyn), and we also have ADHD and other issues in the house. And it's hard!! When they were younger, I really could have used an extra adult helper, but I also knew that there would be some things about it that would cause me extra stress, so I never hired one. Except for a friend who helped me out for a few weeks (because I knew she also needed some extra income). Anyway, in order to keep things going along as well as possible at home, I had expectations of my kids. Yes, they all ate the same lunch. Yes, they had to sit at the table while eating, all at the same time (I would read to them). Yes, they had things they had to accomplish my way, when it worked best for me to manage it, even if it was not what they would choose on their own. My kids still do some chores (as teenagers) on a schedule (because they need to be reminded, and in some cases checked on, and I have to be the one checking, so it has to work for me). When my kids were all small, I ran things like a little preschool, in many ways. We ate together, played together, did crafts together, napped at the same time, watched the same video at the same time, etc. These things are not crazy ideas. They are systems that work better for their family than other things that she's tried. She's learned what doesn't work and has found ways to make a difficult situation go somewhat more smoothly. And I'm actually impressed that the kids do so much to help with chores. It took so much effort for me to homeschool my kids and keep everyone fed that I let more of the housekeeping things go myself and only had minimal things that I expected of them. Like putting their dishes in the dishwasher after each meal and helping with their laundry and vacuuming their own rooms. But I did the general household chores myself. And I was always behind (still am), which then was a source of stress. I actually think I could have done better with getting the kids to help out with general household things. That doesn't address the fact that the babysitter is not meeting her standards. I would be bothered by it, too. And there may be things that she can do to tweak her systems (for example, negotiating the chore and wake up schedules mentioned in the other thread). But I wanted to speak up and say to caedmyn that I don't think you have crazy standards for expecting these things. I do think the standards can be hard to meet when ADHD and EF are present, and I sympathize with how hard things are.
  14. And I need to say thanks to all of you for your support. I have to admit that I have been having some emotional swings about this. I am sometimes outraged and determined. But there are some moments when I feel overwhelmed, and I catch myself wondering if I am making a mountain out of a mole hill. No, I'm really not, and I know that. I am so non-confrontational (except when I'm mad at DH or my kids 🙄) that this kind of thing takes a toll.
  15. kbutton, thanks for all of your points. I am heading out of the house soon, but there are some things I want to come back to. I'm making this post as a reminder. 🙂
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