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hjffkj last won the day on February 18

hjffkj had the most liked content!

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About hjffkj

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  1. I forgot mowing the lawn. Ds11 started mowing the lawn this year because he wanted to
  2. that is the sweetest thing I've heard today.
  3. Oh I forgot dust and clean windows if I ask but usually I do those things. Oh and on Thursday night they all go around the entire house and make sure all trash and recycling makes it to the proper bins. It sounds like a lot but really they aren't doing these things daily, except caring for the dogs and starting loads of laundry.
  4. My kids ages 5, 7, 10, and 11 all unload the dishwasher. The older three load it too but I did teach them how to do it efficiently. They also do the laundry, hang shirts, fold towels, put laundry away, pick up a room, clean the bathrooms, vacuum, take the dogs out, feed the dogs, and the oldest two will make a meal if they want to or I really need them to.
  5. I'm sorry. I would just keep saying that you have no intention of going but he is free to go with the kids. I would make it clear you have no intention of discussing his opinion of how unreasonable you are being but will discuss his reasoning behind why he doesn't feel he and the kids can go without you. This is something I would hold strong on.
  6. But why does he feel like they can't go without you?
  7. We do not put a huge emphasis on Mother's Day. It gets acknowledged and I don't have to do a single chore on that day if I don't want to. Some kids make cards when they feel like it but no gifts ever. I like having one day where I know I won't have to change a single diaper, make a single meal, fold a single piece of laundry, load a single dish in the dishwasher, etc. I like that the kids ask which of my normal jobs they can take over for the day, even though I don't expect them to and dh has never asked them to. They have just grown up watching him taking over any tasks that hadn't gotten done over the year. Dh treats me amazingly all year long and the kids to do for the most part(I am their emotional punching bag sometimes though.) I don't need MD but it is nice that it is there/ However, I do not like any church services centered around it and wouldn't participate. I don't need strangers acknowledging me as a mother. It is not a comfort to me to know that they are celebrating me, especially if it is hurting others.
  8. Mother's Day has always been about me and when I was a kid it was all about my mom. I don't remember ever going to my grandmother's house for Mother's Day. We do generally go to my mil's on Mother's Day for dinner but we have dinner with her every Sunday. The only difference is that dh, and the men married to his sisters make dinner and dessert for everyone. Father's Day is for dh but we also go to his dad's house to swim and have a bbq. If dh didn't want to do it we wouldn't though. I do know a lot of women who do not get to celebrate Mother's Day the way they want. A lot of it is not putting their foot down and making it clear that they expect the day to be about them(which is a reasonable thing to do imo.) For me, if my mother or mil ever insisted on things the way your did I would simply say 'no, today I'm going to do what I want' and leave it at that. But I generally don't do anything I don't want to do
  9. They have not announced if pool are opening. We have out own pool and have already told friends and family they are welcome to use it whenever they feel comfortable
  10. This comment made me realize I didn't know what the minimum wage was in MD. I knew Delaware's but since moving to Maryland I've never needed to know. It isn't great at $10.10 but much better than many other states.
  11. Yeah, I'm not opposed to work under the table in cash.
  12. I would fly. I'm not overly concerned about the virus. I'd take all the precautions I needed to, wash my hands endlessly, and guaranteeing I could quarantine myself afterwards. I actually wouldn't do the trip at all if any of the people on it weren't willing/able to quarantine 100% when they got back.
  13. Yeah, $10/hr is certainly the minimum I'd pay and that would only be if I was also offering her something else of value to her. $15/hr seems reasonable. I do agree that care workers are ridiculously underpaid. If she weren't in a mother's helper role and was watching them on her own I'd have a better idea of what to pay her. It is the idea that I'll be home to handle any of the big issues that may arise that has me waffling about pay. But the more I think about it the more I know she's great with the kids whether I'm home or not and will be able to handle just about any kid issue needed and if the kid won't allow her too she'll be able to quickly shift to helping the older kids with school if I need to handle a younger kid. She really is worth her weight in gold.
  14. Thankfully we don't have to worry about an exit plan or hard feelings. She's worked for me on and off since she was about 15 doing many different jobs; babysitting, pet sitting, painting my house, cleaning, organizing, etc. Any kinks have been ironed out long ago and we have a great relationship with good communication. I can't think of anything I could offer her that wouldn't be more valuable than money at her phase in life.
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