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About hjffkj

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  1. Do you have anything in writing/text/email from D's about what he did to your van? Because if you go through your insurance, which at this point I suggest doing, he seems likely to deny it was him. That just seems to be the personality and relationship I'm picking up fr everything you have written. If you don't have anything with him stating he caused the damage be prepared for his insurance not to pay out.
  2. Could it be someone you all know who transitioned that you just don't realize? Seems like a long shot but the fact that they share many friends who are your relatives.
  3. Now I understand better. I am sorry to hear this is how your dh behaves. I have no words of advice but I can offer virtual hugs and real prayers.
  4. I've had woman ask me how I get my dh to babysit the kids. The first time it happened I thought she meant how do I get dh to schedule a babysitter because they are the family schedulers in their family. When I correct them and say he's not babysitting they ignore my remark and start commenting on how their dh wouldn't be able to handle bedtime so they could never stay out late. Wth does bedtime involve that a grown man can't handle it, excluding a baby who is still breastfeeding and falls asleep to nursing?
  5. I have always stayed home with the kids and for most of my marriage dh has worked 50+ hours a week. He's NEVER needed me to tell him when to feed the baby, put the toddler down for a nap, change a diaper, make dinner, etc. He has asked occasionally about the best way to help a particular kid with xyz or whatever. I may have more experience running the day to day routine of family life but our parenting experience is the same because he is just as involved in the serious stuff as I am. I don't really understand the point of this post. Are you saying you view your dh as a babysitter or that he isn't one.?
  6. I have a BS and don't use it and likely never will. Dh didn't go to college and he has a job he loves that pays well enough. So, my expectations are that they find a way to provide for themselves in whatever way makes them happiest. I will encourage college because in theory it makes things more marketable but there are certainly professions that don't need it.
  7. Thank you everyone for your suggestions. Looks like I'll be researching Sharks this weekend. @Ktgrok Do you find the canister for the Shark you recommend to be too small? That seems to be the biggest complaint I keep reading.
  8. The only toys found in it any time I emptied it were legos but the tiny pieces, no bigger than a pony bead, which should not have destroyed the roller. I'm sure it is a defect but I really can't justify keeping it with the possibility of being stuck with a poorly designed product for my needs. It seems that the Shark is pretty well regarded so I am going to research those.
  9. I bought a Roomba and have loved it for the last two weeks. I got into the routine of having it do the kitchen and dining room every evening after dinner and then during the day it would rotate rooms. But then last night I was cleaning the brushes underneath and the rubber one was torn to shreds. Maybe it was a defect with that particular piece but that Roomba is way too expensive to risk in just being a cheap product. I'm so disappointed but oh well. Now I need vacuum recommendations. We have two dogs that shed a lot, 5 kids who get crumbs everywhere, carpet, hardwood, and laminate. Thanks in advanced.
  10. We almost always eat breakfast together as a family unless dh has to work early, and it is always a hot meal. On the weekends, we eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner together unless someone has an activity. On Sundays, we eat lunch with my family of origin and dinner with dh's family of origin.
  11. I have 5 children, and I would not allow an aunt or uncle to just take one or two of the kids out regularly. That is showing favoritism and I'd rather they not have a close relationship with any of my kids than to make some of the kids feel less loved by said aunt or uncle. The exception for this is godparents. They are free to spend special time with their godchild and form a stronger relationship that way. I have 18 nieces and nephews so I understand the inability to take each one out on a special outing. But I still have a close relationship with most of them, even the ones that live 1000 miles away. I do that by being present with them when we visit and to remember what they are interested in and actively seeking to learn about it so I can talk to them about it. I seriously started watching those ghost investigation shows because one of my nephew's was obsessed with them and I wanted to be able to talk to him about it. If I want to treat them all to something i make cookies or buy a bag of candy for all the share. Those things are special but don't need to be expensive. As for hosting, I make being at other people's houses easier by making sure the kids clean up any messes before leaving but I don't expect that from nieces and nephews when they visit, which is weekly. But it is always nice when they do. Noise wise, they are free to be as loud as they want outside or in the kids' rooms. But in other areas of the house they are expected to be respectful of everyone's needs and that means not being so loud and wild. They all seem to be fine with this arrangement.
  12. Sorry I misunderstood the you asking her to find someone. But I don't feel like I'm making many other leaps. The work on the house needs to be addressed with the contractor not his wife. And if she isn't responding about the masonry recommendation then I'd personally start searching for someone to do the work ony own. I wouldn't actually trust her recommendation at this point because she recommended her dh as a contractor and he clearly isn't working out well. Everything you have mentioned doesn't speak to her ability to sell houses so I'm not sure if I would personally find a new realtor or not.
  13. Why is your realtor involved so much in the process to get your house ready for market. I can see a realtor making recommendations on who to use for a job but for her to be doing the calling seems odd. Also, if there are issues with the contractor/timeline you should be addressing him not her, even if they are married. I doubt she is purposely ignoring you but the things you are asking her to do are not the realtor's job so she is likely focusing on clients who are actually ready to list.
  14. We just bought a house on Tuesday!! This was my first purchase. I went from my parents' house to a house dh bought right before we started dating and was there for 11 years before being able to sell. I hated that house! This new house is perfect! We started looking at houses back in May right before we listed our house for sale. Our house sold in a day so we've been living at my parents' house while we search for what we needed. There were a few house over the last few months that we liked and wanted to put an offer on but so many different things stopped us. Just when I thought we were taking a break on looking until the spring, dh randomly asks if we could go to an open house he got an email about. Reluctantly, I agree and immediately knew it was exactly what we'd been looking for. Now that I've been living in it for a few days I know it is even more than we expected. I'm so happy. The most stressful period was from putting offer in too getting the inspection report. Once.the inspection was done I was done worrying.
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