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heartlikealion

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heartlikealion last won the day on October 1 2019

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About heartlikealion

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  1. Financially, yes!! And hopefully some space from the kids will be good for everyone. A lot of places we go don’t work with our insurance (vision, my therapist, the audiologist I plan to finally schedule) but we can use our flex card toward those when it renews and in the meantime laying out of pocket won’t be so awful. My therapist’s bills go toward deductible if I submit them, but I don’t know if I’d get a discount after reaching deductible because she’s out of network. She does brief counseling so I won’t see her forever. We have been saving up and getting closer to our goals (money in categories for emergency fund and annual car stuff + savings). We hope to tackle the cc debt more aggressively once I start working. I will likely buy a laptop for myself to do work for my second job on my lunch hour.
  2. **update** I got the contract in the mail and I don't know if they had a change of heart or if the phone call quote was a mistake, but I got the highest salary possible! I was so relieved when I got the contract. And to top it off I researched the insurance options and came to find out that since dh is on a similar plan (we will both be state employees) we may link our plans to share the family deductible if we are both on the base plan. I signed up for base plan after learning that. I will not pay a monthly premium and he we remove me from his insurance saving us over $400/month. We have basically hit our deducible for the year once we get dh's recent ER bill (he went to the ER the other day. Turns out it was a kidney stone that caused a kidney infection and UTI. They ran a gamut of tests including covid). I sent in my therapist's super bills to count toward my deductible weeks ago, but the ins. company said they never received them. Luckily I have them all saved digitally so I will reprint and this time send with a tracking number. I start the job Monday. We will let a babysitter watch the kids for about a week after my MIL watches them (dh plans to take the kids to her for a few weeks even though he'll probably have to pull over to pee a lot). Then when school starts we plan to use a daycare for after school care for dd if they still bus kids from school to the daycare. My main concern there is having dd wear a mask SO many hours a day.
  3. It will be ok. I told myself that, anyway lol. I have no manager type jobs on my resumé. So having the title “branch manager” will be good. I am hoping I will enjoy finding books for our collection and helping people in the community. My start date is July 6. Dh will take the kids to his parents for the holiday (a few hours away) and leave them there a couple weeks. We will look for a sitter. He suggested the neighbor’s daughter but that rubbed me the wrong way because the mom made a physical pass at Dh once. I want to keep boundaries, even though it’s not the daughter’s fault. Sigh.
  4. I got the job. I’m not even excited. I’m feeling pretty meh. They asked me in the interview what I wanted to make. I said the higher end of the pay range because I exceeded the minimum qualifications. Well they phrased it as hourly pay today when they offered it to me. I can’t do mental math worth crap but it sounded low. I figured maybe the low end of pay. I pressed for some wiggle room but they were firm and said after a year they could re-evaluate for a raise. After I got off the phone Dh and I did the math and it is just below their base pay. He said take it up with HR. Maybe the guy was just rounding (off by 33¢ an hour). I called my parents to tell them the news. My dad was such a jerk. I told him I didn’t want to argue and I’d talk to him later and hung up. He was just lecturing me on how little pay that was and I reminded him it’s a PT job and I would correct things before I signed papers. For those wondering, I’ll make a measley $10.50/hr (more of they adjust the 33 cents discrepancy). Dh said probably low end because I have no library experience but the application said min. 2 years college and customer service experience. Bachelors preferred (I have one) and library experience preferred. I’ll look at it as a foot in the door, something good for resumé and retirement option. But yeah hard to get super excited when I made more money hourly in 2010. And I’m hanging onto my other job as long as I can I guess but it feels like it’s slipping away. Nothing I did. Just how covid has affected us and the staff. My direct supervisor just quit.
  5. I really needed this. I've been a ball of anxiety for the past 24 hours. I should find out Thursday or Friday what my fate is! And if I don't get the job then we will have to decide if she goes to school at all or not. I know she doesn't want to wear a mask 5 hours a day and if there's no recess (no idea??) she is NOT interested she said LOL
  6. Are you asking about RFing to age 2 or something else? Car seat usage is based on height/weight mainly. I think of age as more a broad way of ballparking the height/weight but also the maturity. So if a child has literally outgrown the dimensions of the car seat, no, they cannot use it. Regardless of age. I have tall kids. Dh is 6' 5.5". Dd is 5 and rear facing in an Extend 2 Fit. The head piece moves up. Nevermind the foot panel that extends. We don't even have it extended because of the passenger seat in front of her. Remember, car seat height issues really depend on the torso height... legs don't really factor in. Kids can have long legs and bend them or fold them. You would factor in legs like when deciding to move to a seat belt only. You want their feet to land on the floor of the car. But generally, when people worry about height issues they are thinking about long legs, which is pretty moot. https://thecarseatlady.com/high-weight-height-rear-facing-seats
  7. The regular sitter is like 1-2 miles from dh's work/my house. The public school is like 5 min. from our home. It's all close enough that I would be okay with a college student picking up dd and bringing her to the house or possibly dd riding a bus home and a college student meeting her at the bus stop. We arranged for the bus stop to be in front of dh's library the year ds attended. They would just drop him off in front of the library and he'd go in and do his homework. If something came up he could walk to our house and dh and I would text each other. Dd is now 5 so I would be okay with her using a school bus from a travel standpoint, just a little nervous about the social distancing with carpooling.
  8. Well right now I've had no luck landing a college student sitter because this semester (summer) they aren't doing face-to-face classes. No one is staying in the dorms. This isn't a college town so everyone kind of scatters when school is not in session. The dorms even close on weekends with the exception of a few students that are permitted to stay (like athletes or people from out of state). The culture is that your mom and dad live a few towns away so you can crash there every weekend I guess??? But, I'm hoping by fall when face-to-face classes resume I will be able to have more options. A friend forwarded my info to her daughter's friends that may be attending here in the fall. I've been putting feelers out. I did post on a statewide babysitting page, but people from out of state apparently use the page and I got requests from sitters in TN. I was like umm I don't even live in your state. I'm a few hours away (what the heck). And the other responses I got were from people that live an hour away in the city wanting $13-15 an hour. Yes, you are right. I would still make some profit. And I would get a retirement plan. The current sitter is elderly and stays in the house with kids that are dropped off at her home. She would not be on board for picking up dd or driving her around, I think. I actually bought her a car seat but never got around to installing it. She wouldn't have enough for all the kids if a few were there at once I think. There's a slight possibility dh could get dd from the school to the lady's house from like 1:00-3:30 if he paid a student to pick her up or something. The student would need to use our car?? for the car seat. Technically his library isn't for children. There's a sign. On a few occasions dh has permitted dd to hang out in his office and play with his desktop sandbox, but only for a very short period of time. He never got around to asking his boss if ds would be permitted in there daily if he did distance-learning from a quiet room. Ds is 12 and keeps to himself. But, we're pushing for the brick-and-mortar route with him, despite my objections to the private school, for his mental health. We're afraid he needs to get out of the house. He's seeing a therapist for depression.
  9. What time does school start where you are?
  10. Yeah, more or less. At ds' school instruction time started at 8:05. Breakfast was available to everyone for free at like 7:30. No matter financial situation, the breakfast and lunch are free. So my guess is they would have students there at times that would grant them access to both breakfast and lunch. During the pandemic they have continued to offer these two meals via bus stop drop offs in the community. We are in a very poor area.
  11. Thank you. I don't know what's going on apparently, though. The background check cleared fine (it was pretty fast). I got an email from the background check place showing me a copy. I followed up with the potential employer to touch base and he said they would make a decision this week. Now I don't know if they just went ahead and paid for background checks for a couple of candidates or what. And then yesterday on facebook my school district announced that dd's age will go to school 5 days a week for 5 hours a day. I'm guessing that would be 8 am - 1 pm?? So if I was working that would make after-school care even more challenging. Currently dh works a job where some days he gets off work at 3:30 and could take a shorter lunch or something to leave work earlier and get dd from school, but not if she got out at 1:00 daily. It's a mess. It's all a giant mess. I don't know what to do. Dh said if they offer me the job to just take it. But I guess I worry because the hourly rate would be about the same as what most sitters charge. Our local sitter is a unicorn. She will watch dd for a full day for $15. But she doesn't work summers or past 3:30 pm. Most sitters seem to charge $10-15 per hour. Also, the kids will have to wear a mask all day at school. Dd would have to get used to that. And that sounds like a horrible way to experience Kindergarten, especially if they have to limit recess or shared toys, etc.
  12. Don't know if this was addressed yet or not. The exersaucers are stationary but the kid can jump up and down in place (kinda like the things that hang in doorways but free standing). We had a walker that the kid sits in when ds was really little. We lived in a one story home and he scooted around in it. I wasn't afraid of him falling down stairs, but apparently they are bad for their development or something because of training them to walk on tippy toes or whatever. Now, there's another product called a walker that is a toy you push like a stroller. We had one of those at one point. And we owned an exersaucer at one point, but the physical therapist frowned upon them and we were phasing it out by the time we saw her as dd was jumping so hard the whole thing would shake and come off the ground a hair.
  13. I never used a backpack and didn't see a lot, but I know some do that. I had a designated diaper bag with my kids. I was gifted one for each child. At one point we tried a backpack leash (for dd's safety) and I stuffed wipes or pull up or whatever in there lol. You lost me on the stroller thing. I don't know. You may lay a baby blanket over the car seat. You just don't want anything to interfere with the harness (or their nose/mouth, obviously). So, you would not have a child wear a puffy coat under the harness, for example. Anything warm like that would be laid over the child after they are strapped in. Rolled blankets for head support are OK as opposed to the after-market neck products. I'm in an online babywearing community. It depends what style you want (wrap vs soft structured carrier). More popular ones are Tula, Lilybaby, Kinderpack... I did not like Ergo style as it had a very short back panel and the knock offs are rampant. I borrowed a carrier from the group that was advertised as Ergo but realized it was a fake. I told the leader and she removed it from circulation. I owend a Lilybaby (infant) and a Kinderpack (toddler size. I think it was actually called preschool possibly). KP was my favorite. Bjorns are looked down upon as non-ergonomic. Unless something has changed. Many carriers allow you to forward face, but even then, I don't recommend it. Their limbs are just hanging in front of you and the child can get overstimulated. I thought I would use the feature and didn't even use it. I'm sure it comes in handy in certain situations. I'm a CPST. The law and what is ideal for car seat safety often do not match up. Personally, I say keep them RF beyond age 2, but I understand reasoning for flipping. Dd is 5 and rear faces, but she's been complaining about her seat. She got to ride forward in another car and would like to do so, but I hate flipping before necessary. She was in the car RF when I hit a pole (so embarrassing) in a parking lot once, (age 3?). She was sleeping and was either not disturbed at all or barely woke and I felt so much better because she was RF. I'm not sure how to make her comfortable in her seat right now. I think I've changed the incline every possible way. For clear info on car seats I often refer to Car Seats for the Littles. It explains when to transition to booster and plain seat belt as well. Sometimes there are fears about the video cams being hacked (wifi). So those creep me out. Plus all the extra EMFs. No idea about this color scheme. I always thought pastels were common. Yes, delayed introduction of solid food. Six months is considered the minimum last I checked. And when I was nursing I was in a couple mom groups where some moms went by the phrase, "food before one is just for fun." I didn't hold out til age 1, but I did nurse beyond age 1 with one baby and introduced her to solids sometime after the 6 month mark. There are very strong opinions on things like sleeping alone vs co-sleeping and even what the definition of "co-sleeping" is. Some will say it means in the bed, some will say it means in the room. So just be careful. Strong opinions on "back to bed" mentality. I can't even remember if that's the phrase. Lying baby on back. So you will hear to do this, but then babies like mine spent too much time on their back... and I'd say this has less to do with how they slept on a flat surface like a pack n play vs the fact that my baby was colicky and we overused the swing and she was in the car seat too much probably (brought car seat into buildings instead of babywearing early on). I do recommend a pack n play of some sort. Certain bathtubs were recalled for supposedly not enough signage about drowning. I wasn't able to take mine to the consignment store for that reason. Pacifiers -- you will hear so many conflicting these on this. Some hospitals are called "baby friendly" or something and will prohibit use of them because they could discourage good nursing progress. We did not use pacifiers much at all. You see, both my kids were colicky and out of desperation I tried the pacifier with both at some point. The first used it briefly (I think before he was a toddler) and we got rid of it without much fuss. The second had more mouth issues and she couldn't even keep it in her mouth. Nipple shields -- depends who you ask. I tried them with my second because of breastfeeding issues. They supposedly can help in short-term and hurt in long-term (discourage milk production maybe?). But anyhoo, it was not the solution to our specific issue. I tried it because my daughter was clamping down on my nipple. Later found out it was because of ties. Google tongue and lip ties if you need more info. Pretty common. Also controversial how to address them/if to address them lol. I've heard babies don't need lotion because their skin is naturally soft. So I think a lot of the baby lotion products are just a gimmick. Sure, if your kid has eczema you can buy certain types of lotion/cream, but in general I don't think it's necessary?? Or if it is, use unscented products.
  14. Yeah, how do you feel? It sounds like she's fine with the risk and that's on her. But how you feel is something that may not change no matter what she does. I've been following the articles on masks and I didn't come across this statistic myself, but ds told me a huge percentage of people are using masks incorrectly. Well, some of my coworkers returned to the office. I logged into a meeting remotely and saw 1/2 in masks and a couple wearing masks were fiddling with them, holding their chin with their hand while t hey wore the mask, etc. I can't even watch Mass on tv/facebook without cringing! The lecturer took his mask off to speak, set it down face down on the lecturn, put it back on before returning to his seat and didn't seem too careful about where he touched it. So I don't even know how to feel about the masks... learn how to use them!! lol I did adjust mine a little bit today, but tried to do so from the straps, not the front. I'm getting less and less concerned about surface transfer, though. Just wash your hands before you touch your face.
  15. *new update in post down thread* Time to re-evaluate next school year all over again!! lol. I was so torn about this, but I felt like this opportunity would not present itself twice. I applied for a local library position a couple of months ago. They delayed the interview process because of COVID. Because the branches are so tiny and open on a limited basis, the librarian serves as the branch manager. You do not have to have a library degree to apply for their librarian/branch manager position, at least not for the one in which I interviewed. My interview was this morning. I got an email this afternoon saying they want to move forward with a background check. I do not think they would bother if they weren't planning to hire me. I will literally be the only employee running the place (substitute available if I'm sick or something). You know I have to tease dh about this because he's a librarian and has a Master's degree in Library and Information Science and has "his library." Now I think I will have "mine." I am currently working 10-15 hours/week remotely for a publication. The library job is 28 hours/week (4 weekdays). My remote job hours are mostly up to me. I hope I can juggle both jobs. I've taken on more work lately. I think my current place of employment will work with me (we have remote meetings so I don't know if I would have to miss and/or leave early. I can tune into the meetings via cell phone. Sometimes people miss the meetings and they just record them so they can view later). I mostly want to be excited about this. This will help toward our goals of paying off debt and me gaining more independence. But, I do worry about the kids. We thought we were keeping them home in the fall for a few reasons, but now I guess I'll pray that dd can safely attend K in the fall at the public school by my home. Ds would probably go to the private school. The 7th grade class will only have 7 students (not sure if that's counting him or not). My main issue with the private school is they use A Beka and we are Catholic (well the kids and I are). I fear I will have to supplement history and/or science given the anti-Catholic reviews I have read about the history and our desire for secular science. Cross that bridge later I guess... I hope this is a good thing. I hope I'm not making a mistake. I told God it was in his hands if I got the job then it was meant to be. I am slightly nervous about running the whole place myself, but they will do some training. ETA: for those unfamiliar with my situation... I live in an F district. The school closest to my house is K-5 and is rated the highest of them all. It was a C last I checked. Ds attended there one year.
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