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PeterPan last won the day on November 22 2013

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About PeterPan

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  1. It's not Brookdale, but it seems like it's another corp that wants to be like Brookdale. I haven't really researched it, because I was trying to give it time this year to see how it would pan out. It has been pretty dissatisfactory though, and that's pretty much how it went down, a bigger corp coming in and all the good people with heart leaving and an emphasis on things that didn't necessarily improve quality of life but did improve the looks, the outside. (uniforms, procedures, etc) Only 2 of the original people remain, and this had been a place with very low turnover before, sigh.
  2. Just to bring down that point, does the MIL have a signed Health Care POA? It's SO important for people to sign this stuff while they're of sound mind. The siblings might want to look at who has each POA (health care, regular) and then defer to that. If you don't trust the person's judgment, that's rough, sigh.
  3. PeterPan

    Gifts for kids with Autism This lady has awesome taste in stuff. Does he have any particular interests? Usually people on the spectrum have restricted or specialized interests, so if you chain from that or coordinate with that it can help. I'm sorry he's aggressive. We've btdt and ds is only 10, sigh. I've been warned puberty will step it up. In our case we found some genetic explanations, things that were treatable that are taking down the aggression. I'm sure she's doing everything she can find, but for real we got amazing information just with the cheapest 23andme test. If she hasn't run genetics, it might be the gift she didn't know she wanted. You download the raw data and run in through the KnowYourGenetics site for free and translate that into an action plan, boom. For my ds, who is 10, ASD2, and challenging, I invest a lot in things we can do *together*. I buy a lot of games for two people, because it's usually just me and him playing. Right now he's learning card games like rummy, and I was shocked to realize how much he enjoys shuffling. So a box of 2 person games might be well-received. Like a regular card deck. I just ordered Canasta cards to teach him that. Also Uno, if they don't have it, oh my Uno is HUGE here. He'll play heavier stuff, but really he needs games like that that are kind of calming, repetitive, restorative, not so engrossing. I just bought a really hip, nifty, probably pre-teen appropriate Invincibles Matching game. Yeah, like the $5 thing at Walmart. It's actually really hard! My ds likes all things nerf, so we're using cups now to create targets. It's really nice, because it's not shooting at someone and it's something you can do WITH someone, taking turns. But that would only be good if he's into nerf. There's a new Perplexus mini, actually two kinds. My ds enjoys things you wouldn't expect, like playdough, slime, etc., stuff you could make homemade. If you found small items of his special interest and hid them in playdough, he might like it. Just watch if he's gluten free. He might enjoy having his own cookbook. I'm using Cooking to Learn (ProEd Inc) with my ds. It's about $70, sigh, but it's REALLY nice and great for developing some independent living skills. As we make the recipes we put them into page protectors in a notebook to form a cookbook. Cooking to Learn 1: Integrated Reading and Writing Activities E-Book This is what we're using. Visual Recipes: A Cookbook for Non-Readers I've seen this in person and it's VERY nice. It's a lower functional level, for someone who needs to see every step in color with simpler tasks, also very nice. My ds really likes the sequin things that are out now. There are sequin small pillows, large pillows, animals, all kinds of stuff. There's a sequin lap blanket at Walmart and all that stuff is at walmart. He LOVES them. Puzzle Pieces is selling some smaller animals. I got my ds the hedgehog, which is bigger, in the $20 range. Small things are nice because they can go in a backpack and go somewhere (in the car, etc.). I agree with the swing, if they can find a way to mount it. I have a Skychair that my ds uses constantly, every single day. Unfortunately, it has wood poles, which aren't safe honestly. I think if you look at that Puzzle Pieces site or others you'll find swings that don't have anything removable that can turn into weapons. But she'll need help to mount it or a frame. Another direction might be gift cards for outings. Like theatre tickets, fast food, whatever he likes to do. That way anyone can take him out and she can have a break. For her, fwiw, the technique I use to let go of the stress after challenging behavior is TRE. (trauma release exercises, tension release exercises) I learned it through a counselor, and it has pretty much saved my butt. Challenging behaviors are very stressful and you need a way to let that go.
  4. PeterPan

    Get back on track

    It's easy to get off the bandwagon with Thanksgiving and find it hard to get back on. You can check your vitamin D, see if you're eating right, those kinds of things to keep yourself on track. For me, I try to make mini-goals at times like this. You're not going to have enough consistency with the holidays and parties and people going in and out to get back on track nicely till January. So if you instead sit down and pick a few things and make some MINI-goals, that you might be able to do. Like for me right now, I've got some things I've been doing with ds and I'm telling myself to get through those pages of those workbooks. And I picked a book about the history of Christmas carols, and we'll read that. And we're working on memorizing the Christmas story. (as much as someone with significant apraxia can, hmm) Math we do every day, just because it's a thing for us. So don't beat yourself up. It happens to anyone, everyone. Make some mini-goals that you can get done in 1-2 hours a day and tell yourself to do it. Create some structures and expectations for their time so you're not going crazy. Like if they can read, then still require them to read daily, which will give you 1-2 hours of time when you can work on things you feel stressed about or don't have done like wrapping. As far as the Shiller, I think the combo of compacting and also scanning the next 10 lessons so you have a sense of where it's going can help. It sounds like it may not be a good fit for your style, if it's not happening. But if you're not prepping, then that may be it. My ds has SLD math, and the methods we use take some prep. I think Shiller could be like that too, where reading ahead a bit could make you more comfortable. Also consider having what I call "idiot-proof" math. Sure I do my really interactive math with ds (Ronit Bird, totally custom lessons), but I also have kits of math where we just do 2-4 cards a day, boom done. And I have some nice open and go interactive workbooks like the Didax Advanced Pattern Blocks book. When you're doing math lessons that depend on you, it helps to have something that's idiotproof that you can assign. That way if you're having a bad day or are stressed or whatever, you can just whip that out. What I try to do is have 3 components to my math, so something for brain tingling, something that is your more mundane (computation) and something that is conceptual instruction. And maybe you're super happy with Shiller, but even then a little something might make your life easier. There are holiday graphing art books you can buy That particular book is really fun, but Teacher Created Resources (which is vending on TPT there) has TONS of fun stuff for math. There are daily word problems and brain teasers and all kinds of things. It can help you work through some of that guilt with your math, because it's open and go, stuff that can always happen, just by throwing the page in the pile. Here's an example of some of the math kits I'm using. Again, they're just to give me that open and go, definitely happens math, because the conceptual instruction takes more time and prep. Hands-On Subtraction Regrouping Kit We've worked through the addition and subtraction of these and will do the multiplication next. Math Reasoning Challenge Activity Kit - Gr. 4 I just bought the grades 2-5 of this and LOVE it. The little packets of tiles are color coded to the cards, so it's just open and go, boom. Even if the concepts are familiar, the way it makes them think will keep it interesting. For my ds, who is gifted with disabilities, it's a really nice balance.
  5. PeterPan

    At-home exercise for kids

    It was a joke. There are days when a wheel like that seems like it would be perfect for my ds. Actually I've been wanting to get him a treadmill, and we do weights. Trampoline does nothing for calming here.
  6. PeterPan

    At-home exercise for kids

    You could build one.
  7. Well I've been thinking I need some variety for ds. I tried MTH (magic treehouse) but he's not loving them. That ship may have sailed, dunno. There's the Big Nate series, which our library has as ebooks. He liked Amulet, but I think they're like level O for F&P, check your lexile. Here the issue is he's staying more chilled with picture supports.So like MTH will have less pictures. Someone had mentioned Geronimo Stilton and I'm not sure what's holding him back there as they would seem to fit the criteria.
  8. I'm glad you figured out a compromise. I will tell you though that the reason I went with $$$$$$$$$ trees was because my dh is really that particular. If this is a brush style tree, your dh probably isn't going to be happy with it. Maybe he'll deal, but the "most realistic" listed trees on that Balsam Hill site are going to be a plastic needle, not the toilet brush stuff, and they'll look really, really nice. So if it's a nice tree, I'd borrow, but if it's a brush tree I'd just surprise him and go all the way with the super nice tree. I'll attach a pic of what I'm talking about. This is our taller tree, not decorated yet. You'll see trees with the pvc/plastic needles in the stores, but the percentage will be lower. When you get the higher Baslam Hill trees, they can be 80-90% the natural needles, which just makes for a really nice tree that isn't offensive at all.
  9. PeterPan

    Something to do at a party with 15-25 yos?

    Oh that's hilarious. A big easel with paper or a whiteboard in the living room would definitely draw people, lol. Ooo there's an idea!
  10. I looked on glassdoor to get employee reviews. I wanted to see happy employees who were adequately paid, without high turnover. My theory was that would help lessen stealing, etc.
  11. Bingo. There are AL facilities that can handle dementia, but it sounds like she's on the line toward needing at least an AL facility with a skilled nursing facility wing. Then they just transfer from one side to the other as needs change.
  12. So you're looking for a unit that can handle dementia. Not all AL have that. You're probably talking at least $4k a month and that's in a very modest COL area. Fwiw, one of the things I looked for was stability in staffing. I saw reviews online of places with really high turnover, and to me stability in the staffing is part of what makes the experience comforting and dependable for the resident. Also it's a good sign if it's hard to get in. Like I said, I'm really concerned that this other company bought out where my loved one lives and things have changed and so many rooms are open. Tells me there may be something going on that my loved one can't tell me about, because before it was hard to get in, with openings going very quickly. I can tell you, from my own experience as the person who signed on the line, that some administrations are easier to work with than others. The previous owners/company were very easy to work with. I could write them and say how is so and so, and I'd get a reply. They actually wanted to hear from me. With the new ownership, I'm a number, another dollar in, and frankly if my loved one were any less independent I probably would not choose this place. They've ruined the personal touch and personal level of interaction by going so corporate/national. It's really a shame. And when you see the exposes on tv/youtube, it will be really big, national chains. So put some stock in just that gut level wow they really responded to my concerns and I could get a hold of them. So much easier than a corporate manager who's never around and gorilla nurses who don't return your emails.
  13. She may be beyond the level assisted living will take. It's also something to consider. We put a loved one into assisted living two years ago, and we didn't really spend a lot of time dickering over the virtues. There are significant, well-documented issues with assisted living, and what it boils down to is the family being cognizant of what care is NOT provided. AL is not a skilled nursing facility. It's independent living with meals, a concierge, housekeeping, on-call assistance, and the optional upgrades of assistance (bathing, laundry, etc.). The average stay for AL is the same as skilled nursing facility, 3 years. Some AL facilities are joined with skilled nursing or dementia units, which can lessen the number of transitions. We put our loved one in assisted living because the level of service fit the level of need. At the time, the way the facility was structured, the were VERY strict that if you had ANY injury that required skill nursing (an injury that required you to leave to go to the hospital), you did not come back. It was just over, toast, out you go. However they got bought out by another chain, and frankly things have changed. Strange things are happening, with lots of rooms (apartments) empty and this shift in emphasis on nursing. So they may be acknowledging the dangers of needing care and not having access to care. If you are there and your health declines, they will let you finish your days by bringing in your own nurses, etc. So in that way, it can be a really peaceful, nice place to be. Assisted living is particularly nice for people who thrive on or are ready to participate in activities. It's not that it's required, but that's part of what is provided. Where our loved on lives, there are activities every day of the week, shuttle buses, group outings (trips to other cities, nice stuff!), etc. There are also lots of social opportunities, with in-facility concerts and programs, nightly self-initiated card game clubs, etc. For our loved one, their health actually *improved* with the stability and good living situation. Your MIL might find something similar, that she enjoys the social of being in with her peers and the independence of having her own apartment, etc. Yes, they'll nail meds, house keeping, etc. AL is almost as expensive as some skilled nursing facilities. Many people use long-term care insurance to pay for it, so maybe your MIL has that. We purposely went on the higher end, because we wanted better food, better activities, and safe, interesting people to be with. It has worked out well, no regrets.
  14. I so need this tree, so adorable. At 5 1/2' it's only $299. So adorable.
  15. Actually, I know someone who intentionally buys a live tree to decorate on her porch! I hadn't thought of it, but you're right that could be a charming compromise.
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