How far/often do you drive for kid’s activities?

[Calizzy]

Do you do a lot of driving around? I don’t and one child in particular is asking for more activity and I just don’t want all the driving. I’m trying to decide if I’m being a curmudgeon. 8th grade Dd desperately wants to attend a drop off co-op next year. Mon/Weds 20 minutes from home. So drop off/come home, pick up/come home 2x per week. I have 3 other kids I’m homeschooling and that just seems like a lot of time driving. But she so wants it, and she is a good kid. 

[SKL]

That sounds like very little driving to me.  😛  I would definitely try to make it work.  Could you restructure your day so that there is someplace to take the other kids after you drop off your daughter?  For example, the park, the pool, a museum, the library, a grocery run or donation drop-off ...?  Then it might not feel like as much of a time suck.

My kids and I myself really benefit from having a reason to get out of the house most days, even though it might not always be easy to schedule.

[regentrude]

I drove Dd to horse barn 15 min one way several days a week for years. I stayed while she had her lesson, but dropped off and picked up if she just went riding w/ lesson. I was glad once she had older friends who could give her rides. 

As a teen, DS trained judo in the city 100 miles away; we drove him 1-2 times per week. When he got his license, we still had an adult supervising from the passenger seat for several months before we allowed him to drive alone. 

So 20 min away twice a week really doesn't sound a lot to me.

Edited March 9, 2021 by regentrude

[teachermom2834]

I’ve done crazy driving. I have four kids and when three were in sports and activities everything was 30-45 minutes away and not always in the same direction. When I was doing it, it didn’t seem so crazy but looking back I can’t believe what I was doing. It seemed worth it at the time. Looking back, some of it was worth it but some of it really wasn’t. So, it depends.

We moved and I was pretty determined not to get in that situation again so I’ve been really reluctant to take on anything outside of the ten minutes it takes to get around our small town. I would say life is much better! I just put my dd in a camp that meets m-f for two weeks this summer that is a 40 minute drive. I think it is worth it and there is no local equivalent but I’m going to have to really force myself to have a good attitude.

You will get all kinds of answers. It really depends on each person and their stage of life and other obligations. But the truth is, it can be hard to find the right activities and social outlets without taking on a drive sometimes. Sometimes homeschoolers really need to be able to drive to meet the kids’ needs.

However, what you are describing sounds perfectly reasonable to meet the needs of an 8th grader. It is possible you are being a curmudgeon 😉

[fairfarmhand]

Pre covid--Mondays: 15 minutes round trip to tae kwon do. I usually wait in the car for the half hour lesson.

Tuesdays: 40 minutes round trip for dd15 music lesson in afternoon; I can also do errands and library at this time. LEssons are 30 minutes long so I don't go home.

Tuesday evenings: 40 minutes round trip for Trail Life and  AHG in evening

Wednesday: 1 hour round trip for the drama class I teach. Class is 2 hours  long. Many of my parents do errands in town. It's an afternoon class so doesn't interfere with most people's morning schedule; Also Bible studies at church with a 40 minute round trip in evening. I stay during this time.

Thursdays: Generally nothing or getting together with friends at our house or theirs in afternoon; 15 minutes round trip for tae kwon do in the evenings.

If you can get at least 2 hours of schooling in between her drop off and pick up times, that would work for my family. Can she stay there that long? Because to me, it wouldn't necessarily be the driving because, as you can see from my schedule, that amount of driving wouldn't be the deal killer. It would be what time drop off and pick up time fell so that I wouldn't disrupt the other kids' lessons. And even at that, I'd do my best to make it work because in middle school, kids really need more time with peers.

Edited March 9, 2021 by fairfarmhand

[Ottakee]

That is not that much driving.  Especially for a highschool student.   Many days I drove that distance multiple times a day.

[fairfarmhand]

Also...driving is something you get used to. I don't bat an eye at the amount of driving that I do for kids' activities because it's all I've ever known. 

Do you have a set of kids who are old enough to stay home s oyou don't have to drag the whole bunch out every time? Dragging siblings along was more wearing to me than the driving. 

Do you live in a neighborhood where you can have an "on call" neighbor for emergencies so you can leave like a 11 yo in charge of one of their siblings? (depends on your particular 10 or 11 year old and how well the group can manage for 40 minutes with out you. This varies widely by family. )

 

[Carrie12345]

Now? Almost none, lol.

Before...  We did several years in a co-op an hour away once a week, and then started our own 30 minutes away. One year we did both. I’ve spent semesters driving kids 30 minutes each way 2-3x a week for fire school, and then for EMT class. Then 3 semesters of dual enrollment courses, another 30 minutes each way.  Countless hours for sports.

[SKL]

Just realized I didn't answer the question.

My kids are both in 9th grade, and here's what we're regularly driving to [excluding in-person PS classes].  (This is a lot less than pre-pandemic activities.)

• School-run after-school activities, about 10 minutes drive each way, currently:
  • Marching band practice - 2 days per week.
  • Track, will be 5 afternoons per week starting next week, plus meets.
• Taekwondo, targeting 3x per week.  About 15-20 minutes drive each way.
• Horse riding, 3x per week.  About 15 minutes drive each way.
• Trumpet lesson, 1x per week, about 20-25 minutes drive each way.

[alisoncooks]

45 min one way, every Friday.  That was our major outing, but we do local stuff (just a couple minutes drive time) other times during the week. 

Edited March 9, 2021 by alisoncooks

[BlsdMama]

I hate all the driving we do, but we decided to live “out,” thus we drive. 
 

2-3 times each week for mock trial practice. 28 minutes roughly each way. They’re long enough that we don’t stay in town but drive in/out and then again for a pick-up.

3 days/week drive DD to work (15 minutes each way) then pick up her up in the evening.

AHG meeting - once per week, roughly thirty minutes each way.

Thursdays - DD17 takes a class at CC and doesn’t drive. 35 minutes each way. 

Classes at the homeschool program on Thursdays -28 minutes.

Speech class - morning at homeschool on Fridays, same drive as above. 
Repeat that drive in the afternoon. 
 

Thursdays are the hardest - CC, homeschool, practice for mock, AND work for DD17. I put roughly 200 miles on the van on Thursdays. Fridays are a close second. 

For those who would ask, “Why?” The thing is, we don’t do that much... there are just many children. So if one kiddo has that “one thing I do,” you see how that adds up. Plus, we have a very wide age range. That means they are not combinable.  We didn’t do any of the plays this year. Middle school alternates with high school so they are in opposite semesters. We gave up sports several years ago and are now considering Tae Kwon do - it’s very close. 
Wednesdays are my favorite. We don’t go anywhere on Wednesdays. ♥️ 

Edited March 9, 2021 by BlsdMama

[forty-two]

When we lived in suburbia, I was driving 20min one way three nights a week (one dance/gymnastics class per kid) and 5-10min one way one night (piano for 2 kids).  I never went home in between; I mostly read in the waiting area, but sometimes I'd walk to the library to entertain youngest. 

Now that we live in the middle of nowhere, I drive 45min one way for dance/art one night (we dropped dance because of covid, so I'm just reading for an hour now, but last year we were there for 3.5 hours), and 1hr one way (in the opposite direction) for piano lessons (we are there for ~2.5 hours).

[Loowit]

The only driving I do now is to take DS for his allergy shot each week.  It is a 40-60 minute drive one way and I have to wait there with him.

When my kids were little they were involved in soccer, scouts, and dance.  Since often the times were short enough, I would either take a book to read to the ones not participating in the activity or find a place for them to play.  When DD started doing longer dance sessions, I would drop her off and either go back for her or have DH pick her up on the way home.  I would say we were out of the house at least 4 afternoons/evenings a week.  And I did feel like it was too much, but I don't regret it.

I avoided doing activities during the day if I could help it though, because it just took up too much time and messed with the flow of the day.

I was so glad when DD got her license and could drive herself to things.  Right now none of the kids are in activities that involve me having to drive them.  If DD or older DS have things to do they can drive themselves.

[2ndGenHomeschooler]

We have karate 3-4 days a week. It’s a 30-35 minute drive one way. I do it with the kids so no waiting around. I teach and/or participate in all classes but some of my kids have some waiting time while they wait for their class. 
 

We have piano lessons one night a week. That’s about 15 minutes one way. 
 

ASL class once every other week. 15 minutes one way. Sometimes I drive, sometimes she’s picked up. 
 

Bible study one afternoon a week but they’re picked up/dropped off for this. 
 

I do other errands on the way too or from activities. I’ve started ordering groceries and library books for pickup so that I save some time. 
 

A once or twice a week activity 20 minutes a way would seem like nothing to us. But we live somewhat rurally so we drive that to get anywhere. 

[mommyoffive]

When the kids were young I always said that I wouldn't be someone that was driving far for things.  We live in a wonderful city that has inexpensive things for them to be a part of.  And until they 3 or 4 years ago that is how we did it.  They were in tons of things, but in our small town.   Getting from one side to the other is a max of 10 mins.  So we would run to 2-3 activities a night.  

Then dance took them to another town and then another one.  They feel in love with Ballet and you can't get the kind of classical ballet training that they are getting from the rec places that are around.   So we drive.  Before Covid my 2 oldest were dancing 6 days a week and when shows were going on that would be 7 with rehearsals.  Their ballet school is 1-1.5 hour one way from our house.  So I was spending 3 hours in the car everyday.  I hate driving.  HATE.  It was killing me.  It was insanely hard on our family.   It was really  hard on my youngest.  I hate that she had to do that.   Even my 2nd youngest horribly got the shaft doing that too.  The kids rarely saw dh for more than a 30 mins a day during that.  He worked 1 hour one way in a different direction.     We were going to move just to relieve the stress of driving.  And yes it was insanely expensive to drive all the time.  I was spending $100 bucks a week on gas.  Wear and tear on the car.  

That is the one thing I have loved about this year, not having to drive to dance.  

 

 

[Ausmumof3]

1 hour for swimming plus 1 hour waiting time

40 minutes for tennis plus 1 hour waiting time 

Sunday till 2pm is out for church related stuff 

1 hour plus 1 hour waiting for a library program

10 minutes for football/ volunteer cadets program 

 

We’re in the interim period for competition sports so it’s less right now than some times.

The bigger issue for me would be not the driving but the amount of time out the house.  If the coop academics lined up with our goals it would be ok but if not I wouldn’t want to lose two full school days with one kid. 

[HS Mom in NC]

While homeschooling 3 kids I drove 15 min. each way to piano once a week, 20 min. each way to homeschool PE once a week, 20-30 min. each way to art class every 2 weeks, and 20 min. each way to Tae Kwon Do 3 times a week.

When I had only 1 kid homeschooling I drove my 15 year old to community college classes 15 min. each way for a semester until she got her license while youngest went to Tae Kwon Do 3 days a week 20 minutes each way. Then I drove youngest to enrichment school 35 min. each way twice a week.

When classes are back in person I return to driving youngest 25 min. each way twice a week for co-op classes and 20 min. another day of the week for her homeschool American Sign Language class.

I don't enjoy driving back and forth but I don't think it's too much driving for my child to have a group class experience. Driving one kid to an event can be a good opportunity to teach some independent study habits at home and/or doing school while sitting in a car to the other children assuming they're a little older. Another option is to listen to something on headphones on the way like literature, facts songs, history, etc. It can also be a good opportunity to teach some flexibility in scheduling.  Another option is those are days the other children start earlier and/or end later to make up for not doing any academics during the commute.

[rebcoola]

Pre covid gymnastics 4x a week minimum 20 minutes.

Horseback riding 2x a week 25 mins away.  

Volleyball 2 x a week 30 minutes.

 

Plus like regular driving for playdates and like special events usually in the 15/20 range.

[gradchica]

We have 4 children, 5th grade to preK. Each year is different. As for academics, Last year was co op 1x per week (some years two)—20 min each way. Band 1x week, 25 min each way. Preschool 15 min each way, 3x week. We took a year off from everything bc of Covid, but we will resume in the fall. 

Currently we have 3 in competitive soccer, 1 in rec soccer, 2 in track, and one in rock climbing. Each child has 3x a week soccer, each 15-20 min away, not always in the same direction, often at overlapping times (so 15 min drive west, drop #1, 30 min East, drop #2. Reverse for pickup, possibly dropping someone else somewhere in the meantime. Husband can usually help by driving 40 min to pick up son from climbing and drive 20 min to soccer, from whence I will pick up and drive home after picking up his siblings). Track is 3x a week, 25-35 min away. Sometimes stacked with soccer. 
 

So 20 min to/from twice a week seems very doable. I will usually leave my older ones at home for a bit when I’m just dropping off or picking up, so they can finish independent work then. If you have bigger ones who can be left for your drive time, that will definitely make it easier. 

[catz]

I’d be embarrassed to type out how much driving I did pre-Covid with teens.  If you can do this 20 minute drive and fulfill some social and possibly academic needs, I would do it.  That is the age where peer connections become super important.  

[Amy in NH]

Right now it is only 30 minutes each way 3-4 days/wk for dance (they consolidated schedules due to COVID - it used to be 5-7 days/wk), and 1x/wk for piano.  We had been doing 45 minutes each way for a second instrument, but she's studying on her own right now and I'm considering an online teacher for advanced instruction.

It used to be much, much more when I was homeschooling multiple kids.  We've done an hour each way weekly for skiing or art, plus lots seasons of 10-15 minutes each way daily for fine arts, a variety of sports, 4-H, and for a couple of years we did 2 hours each way monthly for a homeschool teen group.

[mathnerd]

Pre-covid, I drove every single day for multiple activities, sometimes twice in the same day for the same activities because DS had to take a break and come home to attend his online class and then go back to resume that activity. Now, we do one activity 100 miles round trip on one day a week: we drive there in 50 minutes, walk or shop until my son is ready and then drive back.

20 minutes twice a week is fine if you can juggle your other kids' schedules in advance to keep them occupied while you are away.

[Tenaj]

We drive 30 minutes one way for all sports that my jr higher and high schoolers participate in.  So during basketball and soccer that means 30 minutes driving, two hours wait time and 30 minutes back.  Crazy thing is that one kid attends school this year at the same place so morning drive 60 minutes to drop off first some and return home,  then drive second son to join first son at school for basketball practice, wait two hours for that and then back  home so a minimum two hours driving a day plus two hours sitting.  It's amazing what you can get used to.  I get accustomed to the crazy schedule then a break hits (like Christmas) and I realize how crazy it is and then we go right back at it.

[ScoutTN]

That seems very reasonable to me. I have two teens.
 

We (Dh does some) get Ds to and from school, 30 minutes away, 5x/week.

Tutorial - 5 mins away 1x/wk. 

Piano - 15 minutes away 1x/wk, all year.

Scouts - 10 mins away 1x/week, 11 months/yr. Mostly Dh.

AHG - 25 minute drive 3x/month during the school year, random and occasional in the summer.

Dance - 20 minute drive 1x/week, 24 weeks/yr.

Flag Football - 20 minutes away, 3x/week for two eight-week seasons a year. Mostly Dh.

Pool - 20 minutes away, 5-6 days a week for most of the summer. Sometimes I stay, more often drop off. Will be less this year bc my kids will be out of town a lot and no swim team.
 

[TheReader]

At the moment....not a lot, b/c Covid. 

But pre-Covid, with just my youngest still home, we had:
Co-op 30 mins away (I teach there as well, so less back/forth than in past years) (this has mostly been once/week)
Fencing classes (the sport) roughly 45 mins away, once/week
Youth Group 30 mins away, once/week 

In the height of my "driving kids everywhere" days, I had:
--to/from co-op, 30 mins away twice/week
--to/from their Youth & Gov't group, 30 mins away (a different way), at night, once/week
--youth group, 30 mins away, once/week (to/from)
--various therapies that obviously weren't optional, but still, 30 mins away, for various ones/various locations, *sometimes* fitted in around other driving so they were at least back-to-back, but not in the same area, once/twice a week
--plus dual credit classes for the other one(s), 30 *other* mins away, 2-3x/week

Some days involved multiple of those things all on one day, and when possible I did try and schedule things so I could do more than one running/dropping in one trip, even if it made that trip longer, but.....we got very good at doing school in waiting rooms, lobbies, car in the parking lot, etc. 

 

[Not_a_Number]

We're in NYC, so we took transit as opposed to driving. Right now, we're not doing anything, because of COVID... but before, we were out every day, at multiple activities. Sometimes, we'd be on transit for 30-40 minutes. Maintaining the kids' social lives was really important to me, so we focused on that a lot. 

As some of you who saw the "club" post saw, this did pay off -- at the end of it, we had found quite a few kids she had clicked with, and this has enabled us to maintain a (virtual) social group during the pandemic. Meeting a good group of kids took more work than it would have if she had been in school, just because we weren't seeing the same kids over and over again as much. 

I don't regret it at all and plan to go back to doing so when the pandemic is over, although we'll probably shift to doing more afternoon activities and not doing morning activities. 

Edited March 9, 2021 by Not_a_Number

[DawnM]

I used to when I homeschooled.

Most activities were between 30-40 min. away, each way.

[gstharr]

I'm in So. Cal.  It is a 15 minutes just door to freeway. Then .75 to 1.5 hours to travel 30 miles during peak traffic (rain could make it 2 hours).  The rough part is having to wait 2- hours for the return trip because traffic makes its impractical to just drop him off and go back home.  pre covid , we would do 4-5 of these type outings  over every weekend.. 

[mommyoffive]

4 minutes ago, gstharr said:

I'm in So. Cal.  It is a 15 minutes just door to freeway. Then .75 to 1.5 hours to travel 30 miles during peak traffic (rain could make it 2 hours).  The rough part is having to wait 2- hours for the return trip because traffic makes its impractical to just drop him off and go back home.  pre covid , we would do 4-5 of these type outings  over every weekend.. 

This reminds me of the people that lived in the city to where we travel for dance.   I had a 1 hour or 1.5 hour with bad traffic commute there.  But some people who lived in the same city would have that or more and this city.  They would work on the west side but live on the east side and then the dance school was on the west side.  So they would be on the west side, have to go back to the east side to get the kid, then back to the west side for dance.  Lots of time it took them the same amount of time to do that as it took me to get there because of the traffic.  

One year we did an intensive at the dance school that was 9-5pm M-F for 3 weeks.  We would have to leave the house no later than 7:30 am and then when it was over at 5pm we could leave then and get home at 7pm.  Or we could just wait and leave at 6pm and still get home at 7pm.  

[hippymamato3]

Up to an hour, as often as needs to happen.

[historically accurate]

Before Covid, I drove a lot. There was never a day that I didn't have to drive somewhere.

2019-2020 school year: 

My oldest did DE. Her college was approximately 1/2 hour drive, so M-Th I dropped off & picked up. That ended up being 2 hours daily in the car.

Some kids did TKD - 10 minutes away, 4 nights per week and Saturday morning. I stayed for one kid, not the other

Co-op weekly - 1/2 hour away, but I did stay.

Book Club for tween - 1x per month, 20 mins away.

Book Club for teens - 1x per month, 20 mins away.

Rocketry club - weekly 20 mins away (drop off, so 1 hour 20 mins). 

Plus some short term items or non-school activities: Driver's Ed (10 minutes away), monthly orthodontist appointments (45 mins away), medical appointments (30 - 90 minutes away), one - off science or library or art classes (usually about 1/2 hour away). 

 

Now? We go to the library once a week, and we still have a slew of doctor's appointments. 

[theelfqueen]

It's just youngest now ... I did a lot of driving before but it was different. 

He has 45 minute karate classes 3 x per week. They're about 10 minutes away - so 40 minutes per class (sometimes I stay or pop into the nearby Walmart but not often)

He has flying every Thursday, the air field is about 25 minutes away so about an hour and a half of driving those days. 

He has the forge every thursday, that about 10 minutes away... so 40 minutes altogether.

Normally- he had in person D&D once a week ... about 20 minutes away. But that's been online this year. 

Then occasional groundschool or other classes. And we work at the museum once a week which is about 10 minutes away but we both go and stay. 

When he has in person robotics (not this year) that's 30-40 minutes each way, one night a week when it's not build season - 6 days a week when it Is build season (but we usually take a break from karate during build season). 

And I just agreed to helping him get a job fo the summer... so no rest then either lol 

So a lot. 

I listen to a lot of audio books and podcasts... when my kids were younger we would listen to podcasts/school books together in one direction and take a break the opposite direction. 

Edited March 9, 2021 by theelfqueen

[Garga]

I live in a rural-ish area. In my old neighborhood, which was a tightly packed suburban area, I’d have thought that a 20 minute drive was sooooo long.  And for it to be a 40 minute round trip? Oh, no. Just awful.

But now, it’s 20 minutes to the nearest shopping area, so it no longer feels like a big deal.

Before moving, I’d have thought that driving 20 minutes there, then back home for 20, then doing the 40 minute round trip again in a few hours would have been horrible. I rarely drove more than 8-10 minutes to get to absolutely anything I needed.

But now? I’d do it. It would be tiring, yes, and not fun, but I’d do it because that’s just life. 

If she wasn’t super excited about it, I might say no, but since she’s super excited about it, I’d be likely to say yes.  Also...will her time at the co-op take anything off your plate? Or is it enrichment only?

If possible, leave the other kids home with work to do, or see if you can do some sort of car-schooling. At the very least, listen to good books on the drive.

Edited March 9, 2021 by Garga

[Garga]

P.S. I, personally, would be careful not to overschedule or do too many things that require long drives. If this is the only thing you do, then that’s fine. but I wouldn’t add much more to the schedule. 

[DeainUSA]

I think at that age it  is expected that some driving will be necessary.  Especially if you want them to have a life outside of your house and online.  I don't consider that a lot of driving or unreasonable.

[freesia]

I also hate driving.  We found it very necessary.  Teens really do thrive better when they have time away. Covid and whether or not I have drivers impact the amount of driving.  Pre-covid a week could look like:

Sunday: soccer games in towns up to 30 minutes away.  Once a month NYLT 35 minutes each way to drop off in the morning and pick up (some years we could car pool.)

Monday: Scouts --15 minutes away.  Parent stayed  Robotics 10 minutes each way

Weds.--Youth group 20 minutes each way to drop off and pick up

Some years co-op weekly one hour away plus drop off and pick up dd at work 15 minutes each way

Thursday--Taekwondo parent stayed.  (Presently twice a month I drop dd off 30 minutes away and pick up again later so she can visit outside with a friend. Not sure that would have happened without covid.)

Friday--twice a month co-op 30 minutes each way,parent stayed.  Music program 10 minutes each way

Saturday--soccer practice 10 minutes stay, youth group events 20 minutes each way drop off pick up; seasonal farm job 15 minutes each way drop off pick up.

Plus dropping off to babysit, scout campouts, general play dates (10-30 minutes away), homeschool group teen group events, etc.  Church, fortunately, is next door.

[Guest]

For the OP’s situation, I would do it, yes. For one thing, by eighth grade, I think those peer activities are important. I think it is a need that should be met if at all possible. 

I did my years of a lot of driving. In one instance, I had two kids in music lessons in a town 30 minutes away. The kicker was, they were both in lessons but their age groups were not concurrent and they were just enough hours apart that it made no sense to stick around. So, at something like 10am, I would drive to the younger kid’s lesson, do the lesson, drive home, and then at, like, 1pm, I would get back in the car, drive them to the music place and have the other kid’s lesson. 

There were also times when dh and I tag-teamed kids to sports at different fields; for a few years, all three kids were in a sport at least two seasons per year. 

We also did a homeschool co-op twenty weeks per year, for 16 years. (At least for that, everything happened for all the kids in the same place!) 

[KungFuPanda]

7 hours ago, Calizzy said:

Do you do a lot of driving around? I don’t and one child in particular is asking for more activity and I just don’t want all the driving. I’m trying to decide if I’m being a curmudgeon. 8th grade Dd desperately wants to attend a drop off co-op next year. Mon/Weds 20 minutes from home. So drop off/come home, pick up/come home 2x per week. I have 3 other kids I’m homeschooling and that just seems like a lot of time driving. But she so wants it, and she is a good kid. 

This seems like minimal driving for an 8th grader.  They just need more peer interactions and more dynamic learning environments as they get older. Speaking as the oldest of 4, I'd be inclined to make it happen for her.  When you are the oldest you have to pitch in so often and deal with so much little kid stuff that it is REALLY nice when your parents can give you a break from that.  She's going to need more intense classes and crave more peer interaction as she heads towards high school. An 8th grader wants and to learn and grow at her own level with people her own age.  I know that is counter to a lot of Family First homeschooling philosophies, but it can be an important step towards college readiness.  You definitely don't want to hear about it later if you tell her no then happily do this for the younger kids later.

[Tap]

That is almost nothing here. I wouldn't bat an eye at it. In fact, I just signed DD up for Volleyball that will require 20 min 3 days a week, and was happy it was only 20 min away. 

The hardest, was ds when he was swimming. 30-45 min each way (average was 45 due to traffic), 6 days a week. 2.5 hour practice, so staying there, meant the whole night was gone. I was able to carpool, so most of the time, she drove there and dropped them off, I picked up later in the night.  That was still 1-1.5 hours for each of us 6 days a week.  

[Swimmer1112]

Is there a way you can carpool? When my kids activities are more than 20 minutes away we try to set up a carpool, each family drives one way or each family drives one day. 

[Arctic Bunny]

I’m relieved when activities are only 20 minutes away, tbh. But if it doesn’t work for you, it doesn’t work. With everything here still shut down, it’s crazy the lengths I’m willing to go for my kids to physically see people.

[Laura Corin]

I used to drive five nights a week when I was home educating, for two children.  Most activities were a 15 minute drive, but one weekly activity was a 40 minute drive and one monthly was an hour away.

[Momto6inIN]

I can handle one out of the house day per week. We drive to the "big town" 40 miles away once a week and do activities (speech and debate in the fall and drama in the winter/spring) and I combine it with my weekly grocery and errands to make it more worth my while.

My kids see friends from church a couple times per week in addition to this, so once a week isn't their *only* social time.

[JustEm]

My brother and I share the driving for our kid's ballet classes so twice a week for that, which is 30 mins away. And once a week for king fu although we're trying to fit a second day in our schedule. That is also 30 mins away

[Clemsondana]

Our co-op is 20ish minutes away, once a week.  I teach in the morning so we all go together. Sometimes I volunteer there in the afternoon and sometimes I loop in grocery shopping and then go back and pick up the kids.  When they were younger and played rec sports I drove to the field/gym twice a week - they were usually 10-15 minutes away.  Now one  kid does karate instead, so I drive 12 minutes each way 2-5 times a week.  If they are there for 2 hrs then I come home, but if it's only 1 hr I usually stay unless I'm running the other kid somewhere.  Now that kid is on the high school baseball team I just drop off and pick up - 10 minutes each way - but when they played on weekend teams in middle school I drove 10-25 minutes each way to take them to practice, depending on where they could get a field.  I usually stayed for those.  The homeschool basketball team practices at whatever church they can find a gym at, so 10-30 minutes, 2-3 days/week.  In middle school there isn't overlap between baseball and basketball but high school sports seem to run 9 months of the year so some days we do baseball and basketball.  Violin lessons are 20 minutes away.  Karate kid played volleyball, so that was 20 minutes to practices during that season.  For both kids, travel times to games could be 10 minutes or an hour, depending on where we needed to go.  This year Science Olympiad and Scholar's Bowl practices have been mostly virtual although they practiced outside in good weather. Those are during the day and are 30 minutes away.  I was super excited when speech therapy rolled off the schedule (20 minutes each way) but since kid was getting older I was actually doing more driving.  Husband used to travel all the time, but since he's been home more we've been able to divide and conquer more often.  I used to frequently drop one kid, then the other, then go back and pick them up.  Karate kid would sometimes hang there and watch for an hour while sibling finished a ball game.  These days, we each take a kid, which is good because most places don't let people hang around outside of their actual class.

So...I have some days that are mostly at home and several days that are mostly home until 3 or 4. Occasionally I drive less than an hour, but other days I do 3+hours.  I absolutely dreaded it when the kids were younger, but I'm finding that I really enjoy this stage.  Time in the car by myself is peaceful, time with the kids can be good time to talk, even if it's just about music and a newfound shared enjoyment of some parts of classic rock, I like seeing the kids do their thing, and I like a lot of the people that I've met while we wait for our kids.  These days it's stranger - there's a lot more waiting in the car or walking in parking lots and a lot less 'parents in the waiting room'.  And, some days it's tiring.  But, we've built routines around it and it's been fine.  

[mom31257]

I didn't do a lot of driving when they were younger, but by middle/high school, I felt like they needed to be in outside activities. We've always been part of a co-op, but it was in town, less than 15 minutes. 

Dd did community theater all through high school (without a driver's license) in a town that was 35 minutes away. It was often easier to stay there than go back home and get her. 

Ds did a school year swim team that practiced 3 nights a week in a town 25 minutes away. That has shut down now because of Covid. Dh and I would take turns taking him, but again we had to wait on him.  He is swimming further away but a friend is driving him and her son there. 

Having our kids 6 years apart helped with the amount of driving. Regardless, as homeschoolers, I wanted my kids to be connected to more people in more settings. These things were as important to me as their academics. 

 

[heartlikealion]

I think it's fair to make boundaries that don't necessarily agree with the norm. I drove ds a whole year to private school, 20 min. each way. I hated it. Dd hated it. And I drove him 45 min. away once a week for kung fu for a year. The class was shorter than one way in the car. He didn't even want to go near the end.

Since your situation is twice a week, not daily, I agree that there may be some way to make it work by finding something else to do in the area. When I took ds to an outsourced English class I'd take dd to the nearby park. Is there any option like that? How long is the co-op class? If she's gung ho about it, I think it will make it easier to get on board. And it sounds like she is. But, if it throws off everyone's schedule (ie. you have kids that don't deal with transitions well, there's no where to go during her class) I could also see saying this is not going to work. Or, see if there's a way to set up a carpool where you either pay the other parent gas or take turns. 

[Amy Gen]

Right now, I’m lucky. We go to the pool several times a day, but it is only 10 minutes away. Next year, my 14 year old starts dual enrollment. That is 30 minutes there, but much longer coming back due to Napa traffic. 
 

When I lived in Texas, it was 45 minutes to the pool and girl scouts. It was 30 minutes to boy scouts and orchestra, but piano lessons were 1 hour away. Coop was close at 15 minutes and they could walk to horseback riding lessons. 
 

Here are a couple of things that made it easier. We had listened to educational CDs in the car. Each kid kept a bag of extra, finish work in the car to work on while we were waiting. I made up a flash card  activity where I packed a big bag of legos or magnetic building pieces and the first kid to get the flash card right got to pull out a block or piece. We also had long talks on the drives. I despise driving, but I don’t regret it at all. 

[katilac]

That is a super minimal amount of driving, imo, and I would definitely expect an 8th-grader to be doing something that requires driving at least twice per week on the regular. I'm guessing this is your oldest, because the teen years are full of driving. My kids did not do atons of ECs, but we were still forever driving them somewhere: the ECs they did have, dances, holiday gatherings, volunteering, parties, field trips, just seeing friends. That's not even counting plain old errands and doctor's appointments. Unless you live in a very walkable, bikeable, or transit-oriented town, there is a lot of driving. A lot.  

idk how old the other kids are or how long co-op is, and both of those are important to how you might manage those days, but here are a few random thoughts, mostly based on a controlled-covid world: 

• If they're old enough, leave the other kids at home for at least one leg of the trip. If they're not, hit the library for some audiobooks! We would listen to foreign language stuff, too.
• What's near the co-op? Is it practical to just stay one of the days and do some park schooling? Do some walking or PE? Any possible field trips? Playdates with other siblings of co-op students? Which could potentially lead to a carpool situation if you're lucky. 
• Can you extend the school year or shorten some holidays if it means taking it easier one of those two days? I'm not talking about never talking a break, but we never took completely off for a week at Thanksgiving or Easter, or multiple weeks at Christmas, unless we had a trip. We didn't necessarily do full days, but a couple of hours for the M/T/W of Thanksgiving and so on added up over the year, and still left us with plenty of time for the fun stuff. We would do the same through much of June and August, and it gave us so much leeway during the school year (my kids preferred more short days rather than routinely long days anyway). If you live where summer is three months of glorious weather, this advice may be less enticing, lol.  
• Can you carpool with anyone? Can she occasionally take a taxi or uber? 

[ieta_cassiopeia]

80 minutes isn't a lot of driving - for parents who are used to driving. It's probably 2 hours out of your week, when adding in time spent getting children ready and turning round at the other end of the journey - not massive, but enough to matter. However, if you are at the limit of driving you can do for the week and maintain your equilibrium, the amount other people typically do is not relevant. Your needs are also valid.

Four ideas of variable viability, if you want to give the co-op a try:

Is it walkable for your 8th-grader? (20 minutes in rush hour in a city might be 1-2 minutes on a rural highway, so location makes a big difference). It might be worth your 8th-grader spending 2-3 hours (round trip) walking to something like that, if the walk's possible and safe in that sort of timeframe. (Think of it as adding extra PE to the week). Don't do this if the pavements are bad/dangerous/non-existent, your 8th-grader is apt to get lost or the roads are fast enough for "20 minutes by car" to be the equivalent of half a day of walking - even if your 8th-grader is capable, the worry it would cause you won't be worth it.

Is it possible to swap something else out that involves driving? Perhaps do your grocery shopping while waiting for co-op to end (which means you do the same amount of driving, but homeschool at the time you are currently grocery shopping instead of the time co-op happens)? Is it possible to visit someone in that timeslot instead of when you usually do? (Or, if the true limit is homeschooling time rather than driving time, is there anything else out of the house that you can move to that gap?)

If you already homeschool for a lot of time each week (in your opinion), is there something you can cut? Yes, there are several options for homeschooling in the car, but if you are feeling overscheduled, the co-op can be a good excuse to remove 2 hours of teaching time. There is a good chance that older children will rise to the challenge and lose rather less than 2 hours of education, even if they don't participate in the co-op. Younger children are more suspectible to overscheduling and thus may outright benefit from "less is more". Also, you will feel less pressure to fill the car journey with "good" learning if your plan already says that what you are doing is good enough, and that anything done in the car is a happy bonus.

You could also give your 8th-grader a research project to find an alternative route that does not require you to drive "in case the car breaks down". This is worth issuing even if you think there aren't any - either your 8th-grader will get creative and figure out/negotiate something, or the fact that there are some situations where the journey would be impossible will be established. Even if you never use any alternative found and end up driving every time, knowing you have that option if you find you cannot stand doing one more car journey on a given week may help you because you won't feel forced. And if your 8th-grader sees that driving is necessary to get to the co-op, it will be easier to have an honest conversation about how it will or won't fit the family's needs. Plus your 8th-grader gets to practise research and presentation skills needed in high school in a different context, with some stakes attached.