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katilac

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About katilac

  • Rank
    Deferring to Evil Since 1966

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female

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  • Biography
    Homeschooled for 15 years, my two graduates are now at university.
  • Location
    New Orleans area.
  • Interests
    Scrapbooker, reader, writer, net surfer, fangirl.

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842 profile views
  1. katilac

    Question for blog readers

    Regular updates or I will forget all about you. It's a good idea to have a stash of posts ready to go for when you get sick, go on vacay, or lack inspiration.
  2. I live in a cruel, cruel world where both the boys and girls screech. *shudder*
  3. katilac

    Asking for exceptions

    My done-growing kids certainly hope not 😂 But yes, many people actually do think young people are acting rude or too big for their britches when they make perfectly reasonable requests such as this. I hope she gave her aunties some serious side-eye for shushing her.
  4. katilac

    Asking for exceptions

    To me, that's very different than my kid having a friend over when supper is ready. Like worlds apart. As someone who has been on hiring committees, I assure you there is no problem with doing this. Heck, if you want to try and convince me via cover letter that you're a great candidate with NO experience, go right ahead. Never tell yourself no!
  5. katilac

    Check it out, them's my kids! lol

    That's an adorable picture!
  6. She stated that she did have an evaluation done.
  7. "Should we take the kids to Panda Express tonight?" "No, I just cleaned the carpet!" Relatable.
  8. katilac

    Asking for exceptions

    I tried to teach them not to ask for exceptions that would cause extra work for other people, unless it was important (like a food allergy). Other than that, knock yourself out as long as you accept the answer graciously. The book club is a great example of when it's absolutely fine to ask, imo. If there was a reason it couldn't be done, such as lack of room or supplies, the staff member would have simply said so. Asking for substitutions in a restaurant is fine, they will tell you their policy (yes, or yes but it costs $2, or no). Eh, I wouldn't cringe. I know the norm used to be to gag down whatever was put on your plate, lol, but I think families who were hardcore about that would have simply told him no, everyone eats the same thing at our house. I would not have minded this at all. When we have a get-together, there's generally enough variety that everyone can find something they like. When a friend is just over for a meal, I try to always say, "I cooked ABC for dinner. If you don't care for that, please feel free to fix X, Y, or Z."
  9. I wouldn't be that concerned for a not-quite-ten-yr-old, particularly one who is homeschooled 😋 My nephew's little boy, under 2, had a speech evaluation several months ago and the therapist was all over the fact that he also waved his arms when excited and liked to open and shut doors, he probably has autism. Before they could evaluate for that, he had the more extensive speech evaluation with the speech therapist who would actually be working with him. She said that jumping to autism because you see some behaviors that could be viewed as stimming is, to put it kindly, proof of inexperience, lol. You have to look at the whole picture and he did not have the other signs - he has a speech disorder, not a language disorder, which should have clued in the first evaluator, and a certain amount of odd gestures are typical in many children. Some grow out of it sooner than others, particularly if they have the peer pressure of school. Evaluating for 'stims' only, per this therapist, is a ridiculous jumping of the gun. So they just started speech therapy instead and yeah, he had dozens of words within a few weeks and no behaviors that made the clinic think autism. He absolutely does still wave his arms and open/shut doors, those simply aren't signs of autism on their own. His dad had the arm waving thing, too. I used to both clench my fists and press one fist against my mouth when excited or deep in thought. I actually did not grow out of either one until adulthood, I just learned to not do them publicly, lol. I've been at a job for a few months where I regularly see about 75 kids from 4 to 9, and there are plenty of these behaviors even in the 9s (most of them can keep themselves from actually jumping and such, but they are in a school setting and you still see them going to do something but catching themselves; they also learn more acceptable ways of doing a similar thing, such as the clenched fist goes under the chin in classic 'thinker' pose). When they are outside for free time, the level of flapping and jumping and twirling goes way up, lol.
  10. We might be making several trips to Little Rock and Fayetteville. Hit me up with your best suggestions of places to stop along the way! Places to eat, things to do, nature trails, long or short stops. Oh, and favorite hotels!
  11. katilac

    The after lunch slump

    I might have to try that! I guess it's relaxing because it's characters you like and are familiar with but you aren't trying to follow a plot or listen for witty banter. You have great taste in fandoms.
  12. I do think there is a lot of truth to this in certain areas, including mine. Also, I don't know about now but, back in the day, the classes went from honors to ridiculously easy with nothing in between. 😲 And I thought a high school of 2,000 was big!!
  13. katilac

    The after lunch slump

    Sweet! I've never been able to do that. It would make up for the lack of car naps.
  14. katilac

    Homeschooling a strong willed child

    Counseling is a great idea and may help you suss out what is typical and what is not. Nothing in your post screams atypical to me, but it's hard to tell from the outside. If she doesn't want to go to school, that's pretty powerful. Also powerful is the fact that she's 11 and doesn't have a driver's licence or a paying job: she can't do much without you! I agree with having work scheduled before activities. No work, no leave the house. Work hard at not presenting this in a punitive way, but simply that you have to do math and it is my responsibility to see that you get it done. We used to have positive things interspersed throughout the day, so we'd be meeting goals before each one and I'd word it in relation to that. Not clean the living room, but we'll have snack as soon as we finish cleaning the living room. Lunch and an audiobook as soon as we're done with math. Let's get science done so we can go to the park. As soon as we finish reviewing Latin, we can go ride out bikes. Not rewards, these were typical parts of our day, but parts they wanted to do. So it motivated us in that sense, plus it's just more pleasant to break up the day like that. Don't argue with her in the moment, Present the work that has to be done at the beginning of the week, when everything is still calm, in order to have activities and privileges. If she argues or refuses, that's on her. You do not need to engage. "I'm going in the other room. If you decide you want to work on science with me, let me know." I had a lot of patience for kid stuff like being loud, making messes, and so on, but very little patience for having my buttons pushed on purpose or fighting for the sake of fighting. You can act out and make me miserable, but I promise that I will make you twice as miserable in return 😈 I didn't have a problem letting my kids know that homeschooling was a privilege that they could lose, but I was very willing to change things up and give them choices (which it sounds like you are already doing). If you haven't worded it this way, make sure she knows that fair is giving each child what they need and can manage; fair is equitable, not equivalent. Ask her for some ideas. Do you understand that the work has to be done one way or the other? You have to do it at home or at school, that's the law. What we are doing isn't working, what ideas do you have to make it better? One of my intense kids needed to learn to remove herself from the situation before she lost control. She knew that she could say, "I need to take a break" and exit the room with no consequences, even in the middle of a lesson (she knew leaving wasn't getting her out of the work, it still had to be done). I let things like stomping feet and slamming doors slide when she was first learning how to do this. If she says certain books are stupid, tell her to find a better one, that you don't want to hear complaints if she's not working toward a solution. You can have some ideas ready for discussion. Does she need more sleep? More exercise? The vast majority of people do not get nearly enough exercise, and it's super important in the hormonal years. For their health and our sanity, lol. She should be getting outside and out of the house every single day. A walk around the neighborhood if there's no nearby park. A trip to the library or Starbucks. Does she want to try a new activity? You said that she enjoys cooking with you and reading aloud; those are both things not done at a desk. At 11, a lot of her work can be adjusted to be more active and/or not at a desk. You can read science in the backyard, toss a ball while reviewing math facts, listen to literature or foreign language vocab in the car (which has the plus or reducing work at home). Search project-based learning and make a list of things she can learn by doing: area and perimeter by building, citizen science, nature journals, hands-on history. Because you are doing the hard work of counseling and working towards solutions, I would be very inclined to give her a lot of freedom this semester as long as she is active. I don't think kids at 11 necessarily need a ton of formal schoolwork, but I do think they need to be active in positive things and not constantly sucked into screens and general inactivity. If one subject is a particular problem, I might agree to give her a month or two weeks of from it while we regroup and look for new ways of getting it done. Science resources for this age tend to be dreadful, so I'd be okay with interesting books and nature study for the rest of the year. If she has math anxiety, maybe level down and let her work on fluency for a while. Reading books together can be an outstanding way of covering English and history. 11/12 is a very awkward time in almost every way. Friendships are changing and becoming more complicated, academics can be tough because they're bored with the same old, same old, but not necessarily ready for higher level work. It's also a goofy, dreamy age for many kids, and a restless one. I would absolutely ask for her ideas but also realize she may not be able to express what she is feeling or wanting. If she doesn't have firm ideas, I'd move in the direction of much more active time, many more projects, outside time every day, leaving the house every day. If she opposes anything that isn't her idea, don't announce it as a plan or anything, simple start doing it! Good luck and many hugs.
  15. katilac

    The after lunch slump

    A quiet rest is just as helpful for many people as actually sleeping. For me, lying down on the bed is way better than relaxing on the sofa, others are fine with a cup of tea and a puzzle book. Low carb, Vitamin D, and a walk or even just a few minutes aside are also helpful. If you drive to work, napping is definitely an option, lol.
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