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Everything posted by katilac

  1. Any chance your mom is being passive-aggressive about this? Because renting a water slide and saying your kids can wear masks doesn't seem like a completely genuine offer.
  2. To be fair, it is pretty expensive, lol. If the money is available, maybe consider sending dh and ds on an awesome outdoorsy trip together. Same outdoorsy stuff, same challenge, with bonus dad/son bonding! It could be an amazing trip for both of them. And you could go on your own type of trip, and everyone gets a bit of reset.
  3. Just to clarify, my wording was whether you were comfortable with this recommendation, not whether you trusted the therapist. It sounds nit-picky but it's really not, because you can trust a therapist overall and still disagree with a particular recommendation. Therapists disagree with each other, after all. If you think it through and decide that you agree with pushing through, that's legitimate. If you decide that going to school is a big enough ask for this kid right now and that he needs a break at lunch, that's also legitimate.
  4. You can't actually get a hotel room right now - I didn't think the OP was talking about this week or anything, but more of a long-ish road trip. They didn't really say, though.
  5. Sure, but keep in mind that kids do things we wouldn't expect pretty often, and he's at an age of difficulties and changes. Could it be an anxiety response? Sure, absolutely. But he's already being treated for the anxiety, so I'm not sure what you can do here. I'd probably focus on helping the oldest figure out responses when he gets awkward questions. Trying to get siblings to stop being embarrassing is usually a losing battle at the best of times. It's hard. If you're comfortable with trying his therapist's recommendations, you just have to keep on trucking - and send him out for ice cream whenever anything important needs to be discussed.
  6. I get it, but it's a pretty ordinary sibling problem. Those aren't things I would even put in the "crazy, impulsive" category, just the oversharing category. You're a teacher; surely you've had those kids that tell all? I always laugh when I remember the little girl who could not wait to tell me that the police were at her house the night before, lol, like it was the best thing ever.
  7. Just let him grow out of it. You say it's mostly school things, and that's a pretty harmless focus for disdain. I don't see why showing him deplorable circumstances would help; he's disdainful, not ungrateful 😂
  8. Which is not ideal, but probably not something I would worry about right now.
  9. Oh, in that case, I would just keep on trucking. It's hard on a mama's heart, but there's really nothing else you can do if eating with the group is the best choice. He'll be fine food-wise, there are kids who choose to never eat lunch at school. He might get demerits or detention for the crazy, impulsive things he's saying at lunch, or pushback from the other kids, but that's fine as well. The annoyance of detention, a bit of peer pressure, and hunger might work together to get him eating!
  10. Domestic violence works in many ways, not just the one way you experienced. Faith-manor brought up his safety in more of a general way. If the police see visible injuries on one person, and there is a witness plus a confession by her that did not involve self-defense, then they should indeed be concerned for his safety. The point is that bringing her in for it, as protocol almost certainly called for, might have actually been the best choice for her. The police did not know the past or the future.
  11. She's young, blonde, and pretty. The boyfriend probably said he was okay with not charging her.
  12. Right. She had the van keys and presumably her phone, and they gave him a ride to a hotel. I do agree that she seemed very off and that they should have done more than be 'nice' by not citing her (because she was definitely the one who would have been cited for dv). The cop gave her a tremendous clue about how to respond, and she still said she was hitting and slapping him because he was telling her to calm down. Taking her in might have been the best thing they could have done for her.
  13. She starts by saying she has really bad OCD, leading into talking about cleaning up the van and apologizing to her partner for being 'mean' about cleanliness and such when she's in a bad mood. She says that, earlier in the morning, he didn't want to let her in the van because she needed to calm down. Then she goes to sit in the cop car and they talk to the boyfriend. He talks about her getting 'worked up' all the time and that he tries to get some distance at those times. The cop asks about the scratches on his face and hands; he says that the marks on his face are from her hitting him with a cell phone in her hand, but the other marks are from something else. He says that going up on the curb (when the cops were pulling them over) was due to her grabbing the steering wheel. They talk to her again and she admits slapping him in the face. They ask if he hit her, and she indicates that he grabbed her chin to talk to her. She says she has a lot of anxiety. They talk to him again about the disagreement. He says he did not hit her but pushed her away as she was hitting him in the face. Back to her. The cop tells her to "think very carefully about this answer" and asks why she was hitting and slapping him. She says the reason was to get him to quit telling her to calm down, which . . . eek. The cop then says (to another cop?) that "it doesn't sound like she was attempting to injure him, it's your call." He is obviously going to great lengths to NOT take her in and they then show him telling her she will not be charged, he is "choosing" not to charge her (and he very clearly does not want to, even though he probably should have). He tells her they have to be separated for the night. She says she doesn't usually drive the van (although it's hers) and hopes it isn't far. Back to him: can't hear what he says at first, one of the cops fist bumps him, the other says let's get you a ride, and the cop tells him that she sends her love and good nights, but that they did not tell her where he would be for the night. That may not be perfectly in order, but that's the gist. I actually don't think she sounds very upset. She sounds "off" for sure, but she's really quite calm, isn't crying. I'd be curious to compare her usual voice and tone to this video. I think her anxiety was getting out of control and they should have aborted the trip. I think the cops being 'nice' by not citing her for domestic violence. may have led to far worse consequences. I hope the boyfriend is lining up a plea deal or something and comes forth with the truth. If nothing had happened, I don't see why he would have come home and then refused to talk to her parents.
  14. Audubon Aquarium is rated in the top ten in the states. It has a penguin exhibit with two posted feeding times each day, and you can pay extra (a lot of extra) to get a backstage Penguin Pass. Anyone who loves the penguins will probably also love the otters! The seahorses are fascinating, and the jellyfish are pretty cool as well.
  15. Not the OP, but I am fairly positive he is already being treated for his anxiety (which has a lot of complicating factors). It sounds like he can't handle group lunch very well now. Being back at school is already a big change, so I'd speak to his doctor or therapist about a note for him to eat elsewhere. I'd be prepared for the school to offer a completely different location, because it can be difficult to let one child do things differently in front of other students (so it might be the counselor's office, etc).
  16. I can't say that my roommates and I ever cleared visitors with each other, other than parents. Even then, it was just alerting the other person to put away anything they didn't want the parents to see, lol. We definitely did not ask if so-and-so could come over Friday afternoon or something. I'd guess different schools/dorms have different cultures. Unfortunately, my kids never felt compelled to clean up before we went over - both of my dds would cheerfully invite us to their rooms when they were a complete tip.
  17. How wonderful! And I love your dress.
  18. I have diabetes just from looking at that! They're not super popular around here, but the places that have them are $3.50 - $4
  19. It is strictly an individual decision. Whatever the deceased wanted, if known; if not, whatever the closest surviving family wants.
  20. No, I don't think it's weird at all. You know her and she was your sister's stepmom for much of her childhood. Around here, far shakier reasons are readily acceptable to look someone up and say hello, lol
  21. Will this put it shortly before retirement or many years before retirement? Are you strictly looking to stay local or open to other areas?
  22. True, but it sounds like mentioned it in a way that indicates it bothers him. He then indicated that he didn't want to talk about it, not that it was what he prefers, so I think OP is likely right about that. That doesn't meant she can solve it, but I do think she's right about it not being his preference.
  23. She could take a practice test, and that would give some great information on whether her school performance is a match to her ability.
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