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Garga last won the day on November 3 2014

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About Garga

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  1. Since my friends went there, I got to go to a few of the swing dances. They were awesome. I loved them! They’d waltz, too, at the swing dances.
  2. A slaughterhouse? Will he see the animals that are killed? If he was a softy before, then he could still have that core of being a softy and seeing animals that he knows will be killed could be very damaging to him. Will he actually be part of seeing them die? Because conversely, if he’s someone who is hardening, then having him see or take part in killing animals is the exact opposite of what he should be doing. Since he’s making literal death threats against humans, you don’t want him getting used to seeing death or taking part in killing animals. It will make it easier to carry out death threats against humans. And if he’s addicted to drugs, he won’t be able to just stop because he’s in Japan. And if they are strict on drugs, what happens if he ends up in a Japanese prison for years? Does he speak the language? Or will he be a complete outsider and target for violence in the prison for years on end?
  3. Garga


    The above is how I experience hate. It’s not a burning rage. I don’t get red in the face when I think about things I may hate. It’s an unpleasant feeling, almost like frustration. If I didn’t know the word “hate” I would use the words “frustration and horror.” Like, I hate ticks. I hate it that we can’t go out hiking anymore because I’ve chosen to avoid the ticks by never going in the woods. I hate it that when my sons are invited on hikes (going on one in June) that I have to spray their clothes with permethrin so they won’t get ticks and possibly lyme disease. I feel horror and frustration about the ticks, and to me that means “hate.” I hate ticks. I don’t scream and rage, but I have strong negative emotions about ticks. I don’t feel that way to anyone I currently know IRL...but I’m also very careful not to get to know people that I think might cause me to feel that way toward them. I am introverted and carefully screen who I will hang out with. And my family all lives very far away, so I have very few people I’m obligated to be around. So, as I wrote earlier, I tend to feel strong negative emotions of frustration and horror toward despotic leaders and to me, that’s hate. I hate Mao and Stalin and I also hate ticks. Oh’s a loooong story and I’ll try to make it super quick, but my mother was friends with a woman who is probably narcissistic or sociopathic who purposely manipulated my mother into moving away from me. She tricked my mother into moving to a place she knew my mother would be unhappy living in, and then told my mother that she’d done all this expressly to destroy the relationship my mother had with me. It was a weird revenge thing. I haven’t seen this woman in about 25 years, but I feel strong negative emotions about her—I find her horrifying and I find the situation frustrating and I think I hate this woman, though I rarely, rarely think about her.
  4. Garga


    Sometimes I see it in my HGTV magazine and it looks soooo good. But then I think, “And in 10 years it’ll look sooooo dated...and it’ll be soooo hard to take down.” I love the idea of it and I love some of the classy patterns that are out there, but I don’t want to deal with the hassle of it. Sherwin Williams has a line of HGTV wallpaper out:
  5. My best friend attended that school for a single year. Her sister went there for four years. Granted, this was between 1989 and 1994, but if you have a specific question, maybe they will have answers? I can ask them for you. My friend got tired of all the Socratic discussions and felt it was all too subjective and there wasn’t enough concrete learning for her, but her sister seemed to thrive on it. Her sister went on to attend Harvard for something or other (a master’s maybe?) about 10 years after leaving St. John’s, and my friend is currently getting a master’s at Johns Hopkins (30-ish years later.). Their year/years at St. Johns’ seemed to work for them as they’re both successful at what they do and were able to move on to well-known colleges in later years.
  6. Your ADHD story sounds just like the sort of thing mine would do. I’m going to tell him about your son and what happened, but he won’t remember that I told, or he will, but then do some other thing that I didn’t think to warn him about. All the possible scenarios and pitfalls that seem so obvious to me, aren’t obvious to him. And the first—your guy doing poorly in the class to *show* the teacher! Oh my! I’m so sorry. I’d be beyond frustrated.
  7. Garga


    I was thinking about this the other day and wondering if I feel hate or not. I agree with a PP who said that perhaps what one calls “hate” the other calls “extreme dislike.” I don’t think I really know when you tip over into hate or when it’s just extreme dislike. Then again, I heard a story about how the leader of North Korea Kim Jong-un got mad when someone fell asleep during a speech he gave. He had the man “questioned” (usually means torture in despotic governments) and then executed by firing squad. When I hear of despotic leaders and the details of what they do to people, I feel some strong stirrings inside of me and it’s probably hate. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say this, but when a certain political figure joked that he wished people would sit up when he walked in the room the same way people sit up when Kim Jong-un walks in a room, I felt sick inside and felt the same strong stirrings. All I could do was try to hope that the political figure didn’t know that the reason those people sit up is because if they don’t, they can literally face a firing squad. But if the person knew why people sit up, then I think I would feel actual hate toward that person for making jokes like that. Mostly, I think I feel hate when I read about bad leaders and all the harm they cause groups of people—going all the way back through our studies of selfish leaders who let thousands, tens of thousands, or even millions suffer and die. Whether it’s a current dictator or an ancient pharaoh, I think I feel actual hatred toward leaders who abuse power. I started feeling this way about leaders when we learned about Julius Caesar. We tend to hold him up as a great leader, but...he hurt and killed so many people and destroyed so many nations. I started wondering why we study these people and act like they’re good and worthy of honor? So many of them are killers, basically. And I started to feel extreme dislike toward them. I can’t think of any regular person that I know that I hate.
  8. Yup. My FB friends are varied. They will sometimes use the exact same phrases against each other and believe it. “Liberals are all X.” “Conservatives are all X.” Each side is convinced that their side is angelic and the other is demonic. Mostly, I’m in the middle, but the majority of the people I know trend to a single side, some very strongly and some more mildly.
  9. This is me, too. Fortunately/unfortunately due to other non-political reasons, for the past year we’ve not been going to our regular church, but have been visiting a lot of churches in the area, trying to find one to settle into. I can attend these new churches and pretend they all agree with me, even though I’m sure they don’t. 🙂 But at least instead of it being the people I know and love who suddenly seem so different from me, it’s just a bunch of strangers and I don’t feel personally upset about their political views anymore. And yeah, it’s always surprising when someone expresses an opinion that is starkly different from my own and they assume I feel the same way. Though to be fair, in the past I probably would have done that. It’s been the years on these boards that have opened my eyes to other points of views and I rarely assume people feel the same as me in pretty much anything nowadays—not just politics.
  10. Garga

    Shoot me

    Exactly! The last time we moved, 15 years ago, I honestly, 100%, innocently believed that once our friends got there, we could grab up the last bits of odds and ends that were a little too big for boxes in about half an hour. It took 3 hours for those last minute odds and ends. And that was on top of moving all the big furniture and boxed items. It was so awful. We’d worked so hard to move lots of things in little pieces before the Big Moving Day and we thought we were on the ball...and we weren’t in the slightest. It was embarrassing. We’re too old now to move ourselves—not strong enough. We’ll hire movers next time, but I hope that’s not for another 15 years into a retirement community.
  11. Yikes. That seems old to be so afraid to stand up to the family. But I’m an American and our culture is all about leaving the nest and going your own way. In other cultures, the elder generation is to be OBEYED and you sacrifice the things you want in order to please your family. Well, I’m not much help after all...I thought I was going somewhere with this, but I guess I’m not. Is this a deal breaker for your dd? What if she did meet the family for the first time at the wedding? Ultimately, is she ok with that? Because it sounds like that’s what’ll happen.
  12. Does his family know he’s planning on immigrating and becoming a US citizen and will rarely ever see them again? And if they know, then who did they expect him to marry? For him to find another immigrant from his homeland? Or is it possible that they’ve already considered that he will end up marrying an white American girl, since he’ll be an American himself in a few years? And maybe his fears aren’t as founded as he thinks? Or...if his family doesn’t approve, will he break up with your dd? Maybe that’s why he isn’t telling. His plan might be a secret wedding, because otherwise he might be afraid he’ll cave to their pressure.
  13. I’m ok with lots of other bugs, but those guys Freak Me Out. I haaaaate them. But I still can’t stand killing things, so I get someone in the house to put a cup over it and take it outside. I can take just about anything else outside on my own, but those guys just set off the primal fear in me and I can’t do it. For fun, here’s an ancient blog post I wrote about when one was skittering around the bathroom while I was stuck on the toilet:
  14. Very lightly discussed a few times with a group of women I’ve known for 15 years. For 7 of those 15 years, we would meet twice a month without fail. Once in a great while, we’d discuss it a little but, but not in much detail—it was mostly general comments about differing interest levels. When I was younger, some coworkers were very open about it and discussed details out loud with everyone listening in, whether we wanted to listen or not. I mostly do not want to discuss tea with anyone. I don’t want to know the details of my friend’s tea.
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