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Garga

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Garga last won the day on November 3 2014

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About Garga

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  1. Yes, I agree with you. The OP was asking about the phenomenon of how family gatherings suddenly become miserable—about how we all say, “I hope my kids will want to visit me in the holidays!” But then the kids grow up and are like, “Oh, groan! I have to go to Mom’s for Christmas and it’ll be miserable!” She was asking for ideas on how not to be the person that no one wants to visit on the holidays, and why it happens. I was just giving my observations. I also have friends who listen to their kids, respect them as individuals, and aren’t demanding instant obedience, and those kids tend to want to visit on the holidays. It’s not a chore in those families when the kids grow up.
  2. (sorry for the weird font—my ipad is acting goofy.) My friends are all in their 40’s too. A number of them have adult children. When the kids were little, my friends would say things like, “I can’t wait for these kids to grow up and leave!” in the kids’ hearing. A lot of my friends would/currently do fuss, fuss, fuss at their daughters and frankly, they act like two teenagers bickering together rather than mother and daughter. (I don’t see this with the mother-sons.) A lot of my friends believe/believed they should lay down the law about things and their teens should just do what they’re told. A lot of my friends make/made fun of their kids’ teen romances, “Ha! What do they know about love! They can barely remember to floss!” And now, the friends who acted this way have kids who have fled the second they could get out of the house or the kids are eagerly waiting to flee the moment they can. I don’t think it happens unexpectedly, that people are difficult and their adult kids don’t want to visit them on the holidays. I think the parents were acting like authoritative jerks all along and when the kids could get away, they got away. And they don’t want to come back for holidays and deal with their smug, jerk parents. I could see it starting to happen with my dh. He went through a phase where he was doing things that I could see were seriously annoying the kids and I thought, “No way will these kids want to come back home for visits when they’re adults and deal with dh’s annoying behavior.” Long story short, the behavior stopped and relationships are restored, so I’m hopeful that the kids will visit when they’re older. If you look, you can often see that the off-putting behavior is there all along. The parents usually want things their way all along and have belittled their kids all along, but they don’t realize they’re doing it. My friends who do this think that kids are somewhat dumb and immature and not to be taken seriously and should just suck it up, buttercup. They’re not the sort to talk and listen and empathize and try to understand and see their child as his or her own person and not just an annoying appendage to themselves.
  3. I told my dh tonight that you were getting Fischers popcorn for your dh without ever trying it based on some stranger’s (me) recommendation online. I said, “Do you think I steered her wrong?” He said, “Are you kidding? Fischer’s popcorn is the best. Popcorn simply doesn’t come better than that. And if she doesn’t like it, tell her she can send her popcorn here and we'll take good care of it for her.” But just in case you need verification: out of 1969 people, 96% give Fischer’s popcorn 5 stars, and the remaining 4% give them 4 stars. No 3, 2, or 1s. https://www.fishers-popcorn.com/pages/reviews
  4. Yes, then she’s crossing a line. I will give advice once or twice, but if it’s clear it won’t work or isn’t wanted (even if it would work), then I drop it. I’m trying to be more like @Janeway and back off when I realize the person isn’t looking for ideas, but is just venting.
  5. I am an advice giver if the person seems particularly distressed. But I don’t expect that they’ll say, “Gee you’re right!”and run off and do what I said. I expect that we’ll bounce back and forth talking about the issue and what works and what doesn’t, and then maybe together we’ll find a way to help the problem. Like, “Maybe you should quit the job.” ”What!? No, I need the money!” ”Can you get fewer hours? Work from home?” ”No, it doesn’t work that way.” ”Aw. That’s too bad. Can you cut back on some other area in life?” ”No. I’m just stuck.” ”I hear you.” I’m ok with people doing that with me, as long as they can understand when I say why their idea won’t work and don’t keep harping on it. But it is odd to me that someone wouldn’t try to help figure out a solution. I’ve had lots of times where I complained/groused/vented about something and someone came at the issue from a place I hadn’t thought of and they helped me out. And other times where there was no solution and I was still stuck. I really don’t mind if they go into advice mode to try to help me.
  6. I hadn’t thought of those questions! I looked on their website and found their FAQ page and there is good news: If you keep it sealed, it should stay fresh for months and mailing time is only a few days. So, you could order it pretty soon and it should stay fresh through to the next year. https://fisherspopcorn.com/faqs/ I always get the plain caramel. My dh got me the 2.5 gallon plastic tub last time we were in Ocean City and it lasted a week with the 4 of us nibbling on it each day (ok—in all fairness, I totally gorged on it and only shared when another family member stumbled upon me stuffing my face and insisted that I share.) We used to get the 1 gallon tubs, but I never felt like that was enough. It was gone soooo fast. The 2.5 felt like enough. I’ve not bothered trying the other flavors or the popcorn balls. I just know that each bite of caramel popcorn is wonderful deliciousness.
  7. My ds14 likes to look around at all the stuff DH and I have acquired in 27 years of marriage and say, “When I move out I’m going to have everything minimal.” And I’m like, “Dude, when I move out at 20 years old and am a single guy living alone without any furniture, I’ll be minimalistic too.” 😄 So easily to be a minimalist when you are only 1 person who doesn’t have any household items vs an entire family. I bounce back and forth between which one I want: uncluttered vs minimalist.
  8. Some new pictures for the living room wall. Some caramel popcorn from Fischers in Ocean City, Maryland (they mail it to you and it’s wonderful-wonderful! Like, eat-5-pounds-in-one-sitting wonderful. Every single piece has gobs of caramel on it. Oh yum!) I was kicking around the idea of getting vanity plates for my car, but it seems so decadent and silly. Non-material: 3 weeks alone in the house to clean it from top to bottom, with my family happy and well-cared for somewhere else while I clean the house.
  9. I’m having the same reaction. Easy transition to all the new actors, have to google some of the events, but I’m only on ep 3. I’m enjoying it just as much as season 1 and 2.
  10. Hmmm... So to correct the preposition error: This is _____ to whom you’re talking. This is I to whom you’re talking. This is me to whom you’re talking. So....maybe she’s right after all!!
  11. @kfeusse I just had a chance to ask my son if some weeks were harder than others and he said yes, some were easier and some were harder, but it seems to me that it’ll depend on the kid. Some things might be easier to one kid and harder to another and vice versa. So, I’d still split it out evenly and on the hard weeks, expect to work a bit into the weekend, or else plan to have a buffer and let Physics go into the summer if necessary if he needs longer. In other words, keep your plan online and don’t print it out more than a week out, so that you can tweak dates as needed for harder/easier weeks.
  12. This is _____ you’re talking to. A. I B. Me My son has a grammar teacher this year and I disagree with the answer she is giving for this little quiz. She says the answer is I. “This is I you’re talking to.” She’s saying this because when there is a linking verb, you use the nominative pronouns. Like when someone calls on the phone, “Is this Sara?” “This is she.” OR: “Is this you, Bill?” “Yes. This is I.” I say the answer is me. “This is me you’re talking to.” My reasoning? Because the “me” is the object of the preposition “to” You’re talking to (me). I think that the entire phrase “me you’re talking to” is what is being linked with the is. Not just the single word “I” or “me.” Since I think the “me” is the object of “to”, then the objective case “me” should be used. But I’m getting myself all confused and doubting myself. Who is correct?
  13. I agree with no waiting. Just move ahead and keep working while waiting to get the grades back.
  14. My son devoted 2 hours a day on it last year, with a 10 minute break between the 2 hours. And he still took a bit into the summer to complete the class. And that was with a mid-August start. However, don’t be too discouraged: my son also has slow processing speed, so he needed the extra time. (He gets time and a half on SAT tests.). If your son doesn’t have slow processing speed, he may be able to catch up. But he’ll have to work hard to get there. Teach your son how to divide up the work over the remaining months of school. Tell him to expect to work on Physics for 2 hours a day. And if he doesn’t get the week’s work done M-F, he needs to get it done on S-S. Make sure he accounts for vacation days (Christmas/spring/whatever days you guys take off). Also, you might want to consider having all his other courses done by mid-May, but let this one go to mid-June and he can devote a bunch of time to it for that last month. But be SUPER careful with offering something like that and be in control of it. That’s the sort of thing that young people think, “Oh, I’ll just put it all off and do it in one month!” And then they find that it’s impossible to do 5 months of work in 1 month. It’s just an idea to give him a little more time so that getting through this isn’t torture.
  15. I’ve never made a turkey so I know little about them. First: are they cheaper than chickens sometime in November? Should I buy a couple to save money? Or just stick with chickens? Second: if the turkeys are cheaper than chickens and if I buy a couple of turkeys and cook them, what are some clever ideas for what to do with all the cooked meat? All I can think of is soup, turkey salad sandwiches, and sliced turkey breast sandwiches. There has to be more than that. Note; I’m not a very clever cook, so feel free to share any obvious ideas.
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