I’d pick the bear. I just wouldn’t be able to bring myself to trust that I wouldn’t end up with a psycho. The odds would be good that I wouldn’t, but I wouldn’t want to chance it. I don’t feel spikes of fear around men, so I don’t live in fear. But at the same time, I’m aware that there are enough bad actors out there that I should take precautions so that I’m never vulnerable around a man who could possibly attempt harm. And I know that men fear other men. Other men aren’t the prey as often as women are to bad men, but sometimes a man will attack another man, depending on the situation (mugging or something.) I haven’t heard of a man fearing a woman physically. They might fear that a woman will make them look dumb, but they rarely fear that she’ll fly at him and cause him serious physical harm.

Oh, I am soooo glad to hear it!!! What a huge relief!!!!! Last week at this time, I was literally planning my funeral and crying and wondering whether I should record some good-bye messages for loved ones in case I got too weak to do it at the end. Of course, by Thurs, I had found out I was ok. It’s been a bit of a wake call for me to assess what’s important in my life and hold people a little more dear. I visited my son at his college yesterday because I haven’t seen him in a few weeks and I needed to hug him.

I live near Gettysburg and just got home from driving through there not 10 minutes ago. So weird to think of your great great grandfather’s arm out in one of the fields up there. Next time I drive though, I’ll be thinking of his arm.

No luck. Turns out my son has been asking them each week when he calls (twice a week) if they have either the name or the generic and if they have any of the doses, because his doc is willing to give him a lower dose if that’s all that’s available. A friend said she’d had luck at a Rite Aid near my son and he’ll try them tomorrow. Sigh. He’ll make it through. He dropped a class so he has only 3 classes and that has helped.

My son hasn’t had his meds for maybe 2 months now (the generic for Vyvanse.). I have to remind him twice a week to call the pharm and see if they have any. He forgets within minutes of me reminding him, so I remind him at least twice a day on Monday and Thursday and if he forgets to call on Mon and Thurs, then I remind him on Tues and Friday. It’s hard enough for him to remember this stuff with the meds. Without…nah. I didn’t realize that the name brand might be available. I’ll ask him to call and ask the pharm on Monday if they have the name brand and pony up the $500 or whatever it is, just to get him through finals.

I am so, so sorry you’re so worried. Nine days ago, I had a biopsy for a mass in my nasal pharynx and it’s a long story, but the results that came from the lab looked (to my inexperienced eye) as if it was saying I had cancer. But at the same time, the lab also said the results were inconclusive, so they sent my biopsy to another lab for more tests. When the second lab report came back, it clearly said I did not have cancer. The doctor called me and let me know it was not cancer. But the time between the first results and the second results was horrible. Absolutely terrifying. I was thinking, “If only it was in my br3ast, I could just have the darn things removed, but I can’t remove my head.” I cried more in the past week than I’ve cried in the past few years from the worry and fear. So, I don’t think you’re crazy for wanting to just remove them if they might be a source of cancer. And I can completely understand being a nervous wreck. It’s the first thought when you wake and the last one when you go to sleep and you can’t stop thinking about it all day. I don’t have actual answers of what questions to ask, etc, but I just want you to know that if I could give you the biggest hug, I would, because the terror you’re feeling is so real and raw and so frightening.

It’s not “normal” though it’s very common. My mother was 50 years old when she became friends with a nurse who explained that my mom’s behavior/thoughts/etc was probably anxiety and that it could be treated. My mom finally got some meds and said, “Is this how the rest of you are?? Not worried and a nervous wreck all the time? I thought I was normal and didn’t know that everyone else wasn’t like this, too.” Also, ADHD people have brains that just will not stop. Thoughts run non-stop. My DH was 42 when he was dx’d with ADHD and got some meds and the first day he took them, he was like my mom. “I was able to complete an entire task today all the way through! Is this what it’s like for the rest of you? You can complete tasks without your thoughts interrupting and you bouncing around to another task?? I can’t diagnose you over the internet, but if you’re thinking something isn’t right, that doesn’t mean your brain is totally messed up or crazy, but you could have anxiety or ADHD, which, as you know, aren’t really in your control. It’s all about chemicals in the brain, and sometimes there can be relief out there for you, if you like. If you don’t like meds, there are other ways to deal with low-level anxiety and ADHD—good, hard exercise, talk therapy, good diet, etc. I don’t think those things are as effective as medicines, but they can help.

Anxiety? Adhd? Depression? Sounds like my son and husband who have a combination of those three things.

How long has this been going on? Your whole life or starting 2 years ago?

Praying

Nah, I wouldn’t be offended. I’d be ok with it.

Regarding the curcumin—if you take it mixed with bioperin (pepper), it can also cause GERD. Long story short, but I had to sprinkle the contents of my turmeric/curcumin capusule in some applesauce and it’s spicy hot! I hadn’t known that that was the root cause of my GERD until that moment. So, be sure to get curcumin without any pepper (bioperin is often what they mix in with it) if you already have GERD issues. I stopped the curcumin a few weeks ago. I take collagen supplements for my hair and I read that collagen also helps with inflammation and maybe it does, because even though I stopped the curcumin, I don’t have joint pain like I did before the curcumin, so maybe the collage is helping. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07NF3LQ9M/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I homeschooled my oldest through grade 11 and my youngest through grade 8, then moved to a cyberschool. I’m in PA and there are some good ones here. Does your state have cyberschools? For my youngest, in his first year of cyberschool, I sat side-by-side with him for all his lessons for the full year as if I was also a student, just to be a presence and fully understand how it all worked. And also to help him develop good note-taking habits, etc. By the next year, he was ready to be on his own, without me hanging around. For my oldest, he was just done with me being his teacher. He was polite, but it was so strained when I had to teach him. I had outsourced a lot of his math and science before then, but in his last year, the cyberschool took care of all of the subjects for me.

I find the fact that it was right over your head and you refused to look at it so strange. I think a lot of us are having trouble wrapping our heads around the fact that you could have stepped outside for just a few seconds and seen it, and you deliberately stayed indoors. It’s not that we don’t understand that not everyone finds it mind-blowing, or that we don’t understand that maybe it’s not worth traveling for. But to have it right over your head and not bother to pop your head out the door and take a glimpse is difficult to comprehend. I mean, you do you, but I truly can’t understand why you wouldn’t just pop your head out and say, “Yup. Saw it. No big deal.” But, again, you do you.

When I listen to podcasts, they change up their ads, so maybe the Lume and Tampax ads have run their course on the podcasts you liked.

My youngest might go away to college (instead of commuting like we’d thought) this fall and that was my first thought. It’s only been 21 years since I could eat what I wanted. Just a tiny blip of time, right?? ***** Just in the past week: Backstory: I put it on my calendar, my literal calendar, to talk to the boys about saying No every year. I did this for a good decade. I would tell them that if they’re in an uncomfortable situation, they don’t have to give reasons and they don’t have to stay. They can say NO and get out of the situation. They don’t have to be polite. (There were other parts to the yearly lecture, like how to handle being questioned by police, among other topics.) I also would tell them a number of times about when they have to do public speaking in college, to go ahead and volunteer to do it first (if possible) because then they can relax and enjoy the class. I would tell a story about going first and blah blah (long story about it). Last week: My son told me about how his friends were at Sheetz without him getting food and a drunk guy came in and completely hassled them and they didn’t know what to do and ended up GIVING THE GUY A RIDE, while he threatened to kill them. They were completely shaken and didn’t know how to extract themselves from the situation, because they’d been taught to be polite. He said, “I’d have said, ‘Ok, everyone. School night. Let’s go,’ and made them leave Sheetz.” And I don’t doubt he would have. He and I were approached by some shady characters another time and he knew exactly how to handle himself. Later in the week, he had to give a presentation and I said, “Oh, I hope you were able to go first so you could enjoy it,” and he said, “Yeah, like that story you tell about it.” In the same car ride, about 10 minutes later, he was reviewing how he knew to leave bad situations and how he knew to get presentations over with first. He said, “I think I’m a little smarter than my friends. I mean, I just know to do these things. I’ve figured them out for myself!” And I said, lightheartedly, “Oh, I think your mama taught you well. Remember how we sat down every year and talked about getting out of bad situations? Remember the time in the city when the guy was hassling me and you were little and I got us out of there? And you wondered why I was ‘rude’ and that’s when I started teaching you this stuff?” He had to kinda admit it. But then he said, “But I came up with the idea of doing the presentation first on my own!” and I was like, “Sweet darling son of mine, not 10 minutes ago you talked about my story that I tell about going first for presentations, so I don’t think you can say you came up with that one on your own. Again, I think your mama taught you well and that’s why you’re so ‘smart’ compared to your friends.” It was all light-hearted. I wasn’t being aggressive, and my youngest is chill enough that he chuckled and said, “Ok, ok! Maybe you’re right!” How quickly they forget! Now, he was kinda right that I never played Jimi Hendricks for him. He’s discovered the guitar and plays for hours at a time, and he has fallen in love with Hendricks and bemoans the fact that I didn’t share Hendricks when he was young. But I have terrible taste in music (bubble gum pop? Yes, please!), so he’s right I didn’t share it. However, at the same time, he and his brother thought it was hilARious to squawk and make noise whenever I did try to play music, so I just never played anything for them. No bubble gum pop OR Hendrix. So, he’s right that I never played cool music for him. Eh, it gives him something to discover on his own 😄

That star was probably Venus (was it to the right and a bit down from the sun?), usually only seen on the horizon. Dh and I traveled and met up with a fellow boardie for the eclipse. We struggled a bit to figure out the best place to go in our area, because there was so much cloud coverage and we might have missed it if we picked the wrong spot to venture to from our hotel, but it worked out. There were clouds coming and going all day, keeping us on our toes, but they cleared up when it got cold once the sun was mostly covered and dissipated so we could see the eclipse. We went to a stadium with other people. Part of me would have liked being out in the woods alone, and part of me liked sharing it with others. There were spontaneous whoops of pure joy all around the stadium when the sun winked out. Totally worth DH’s stressing out over where the best place would be to watch with the least clouds and worth the 10-hour round trip. Still in the hotel. Will head out soon.

I saw 90% totality in 2017. It was pretty fun. 100% totally was entirely, completely 100% different. I like how someone said that 99% totality is like a pretty stream, but 100% totality is like Niagara Falls. Accurate. Even the teensiest sliver of the sun lights the entire sky. I even exclaimed over that to my friend (Ginerva—who posted up thread) that the power of the sun was such that even a speck of it lights the sky. If you didn’t have your glasses, at 99% totality, you might not even realize there was eclipse going on if the day was a bit cloudy. When it was totally covered, it was astounding. Everything changed. The entire world looked different and you could look directly at it and see a solid black moon with a tiny white rim and ruby-colored dots along the edges (solar prominences, viewable to the naked eye.) And tell me about tourists. I live 10 minutes from Gettysburg. Tourists gonna tourist, yanno? Gotta love the tourists. They never look both ways before crossing the street in Gettysburg, like they have magic forcefields around them. Gotta love ‘em. It was a precious moment. My life won’t change, but it was a precious moment and I hope to be an old lady remembering it.

My oldest is extremely picky. He’s 21 and still is. I used to feel sick inside trying to figure out how to get enough healthy food into him. It was pretty stressful for a number of years. I am picky and always have been. I usually only want 2 or 3 items on an entire menu, no matter where I go. Everything looks like squirming octopi to me. You see a gorgeous steak, I see a squirming octopus. No thank you. Yucky. My youngest was picky but only because he would copy cat his brother. If Big Brother didn’t eat it, Little Brother wouldn’t either. That added an extra layer of stress. He has branched out, but there are still random things he doesn’t eat. A couple of years ago, my husband started not being able to eat gluten. Otherwise, he loves everything Vacations were always so stressful, trying to find somewhere that all of us could eat. It’s easier now that the boys are adults. They’re more mature about going to a restaurant and managing to find *something* they can eat (the way I do.) But even so, there is endless discussion about which restaurant might have the most options for us all. My DH and I are going on our first trip together for the weekend without the kids in 21 years, and I’m SO THRILLED that we only have to cater to the 2 of us and not try to sort out 4 people’s pickiness! I’m meeting friends in our destination, and it was so thrilling to say, “You can pick the restaurant!” to them and not have to worry about a kid coming back to the hotel saying, “I’m hungry!” because they refused to eat at the restaurant. Back when my oldest was about 14, we spent $150 in Las Vegas at a HUGE buffet for the 4 of us. My oldest ate a dinner roll and refused to eat anything else. He came back to the room starving. 😞 I think now, he’d have managed to find something.

Really? Wow! Only a few times in your life! I feel peopled out a few times a week. That’s pretty amazing!

Side sleep. Cheap-o pillow from Ikea, Walmart, or Target (I’m talking a pillow in the $4 range). Foam earplugs with noise reduction rating of 33. Follow the directions carefully. It can feel awkward placing them at first, but once you get it, the world get sooo quiet: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07HHXGPW6/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 Eye masks. I like this one because it’s sturdy and has little cups so your eye lashes don’t brush against it: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07Q6WLX5J/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 But I bought some cheaper backup eye masks and they work nicely, too, and also have the little cups: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07YSNNFY3/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 If you feel like the mask is letting in light at the bottom near your nose. put the strap on the back of your head closer to the crown of your head. It’ll angle the mask more flush against your nose. I have an electric mattress pad. In the winter, I turn it on before bed and get it warm, but turn it off when I get into bed, so I don’t wake up sweaty. I cannot sleep with any exposed skin. If my skin gets exposed, I find that I wake up all night. So, I tuck my pjs into my socks and wear long sleeves all year round, lighter or heavier depending on the season. I wear a light robe over my jammies in the winter. I have a knit hat that I put on on the coldest nights in the winter. I have asked DH not to come to bed and scroll through his phone when I’m trying to sleep, because the motion of him moving his arm shakes the bed just enough to rouse me when I try to drift off. Knee pillow. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01A8TPWS2/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_search_asin_title?ie=UTF8&psc=1 ETA: mouth guard for tooth grinding. Apparently, I grind my teeth. Just last week, I grilled the dentist about whether I should get an official one from him or use the over the counter (OTC) ones. He insisted the OTC ones are just as fine as the official ones. So, I use OTC ones. I’ve tried various sorts and they all work fine for me.

Yes, I think that’s right! I meant to meet up with her as she lived near a museum I would take the kids to from time to time, but it never worked out and I think she moved. I think she won her episode at least once, if not for more nights. (Though, they film them all on the same day, so they don’t really come back the next day, she told us.

I just re-organized all my books today and was all happy to see one of her books on my shelf. 🙂

I def remember the poutine. It was the first time I’d ever heard of it. The WTM forums are nothing if not educational.

Probably the person working there has no idea how awful it is to live with ADHD and how it can mess with your life. And no, Walmart doesn’t always have anything, unfortunately.