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Garga

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Everything posted by Garga

  1. I’ve never had them but I love cheesy potatoes. I’ll be they’re great with those crispy fried onions on top. I’m drooling right now. I’m trying to watch my calories, but maybe I could make this casserole and then freeze it and only eat it in little bits? Because it sounds divine and I wanna try it!
  2. The instructor says that Hapkido is an old fat man’s martial art. There are a lot of moves that involve grabbing someone’s arm or hand in the right way...and then just leaning your weight on it until it hurts the other person. There’s not necessarily a lot of flying around the room kicking and punching...more like twisting an arm and then leaning on the elbow until it snaps. Great for old people, the heavier the better; more body weight to lean on the elbow. 🙂 I don’t know how serious he is about it being an old fat man’s MA, but the instructor likes to say it. And now I’m going to be extra careful with my ankles now that you wrote that. Eeeee.
  3. Yes to either of these! For you and dh. My dh gets clueless about things, too. I’ve written a couple of threads about wisdom teeth extractions for my oldest. I was talking to my dh about how I’m calling the oral surgeon on Monday to see how they handle dry socket and mentioned that someone here at the hive told me about a product they sell in pharmacies with clove and cotton balls that can be used if you can’t get to the oral surgeon right away and how I’d probably get it before the extractions just in case ds gets dry socket. DH was all like, “Why would you get that ahead of time?” And I’m like, “Because I don’t want to be woken up at 2:00 with a son in excruciating pain and we have nothing on hand to help him,” and my dh was befuddled. “But why are you calling the doctor and wanting to get stuff ahead of time?” My son is 16 going on 17 and I had to explain to dh, “Look, HIS problems are OUR problems. If HE wakes up at 2 in excruciating pain...dude...that is YOUR problem. YOU have to fix it. That’s what being a parent IS. If HE is in pain, YOU have a problem.” I really think he’s never quite figured that out before now, even after 16 years of parenting. And even now, I don’t think he’ll retain it. He’s a good dad overall, but sometimes....smh. And he’s a project manager at work. And a really good one, too. He’s always going on and on about how he’s the only one at work who can look ahead and see the problems that are coming and be prepared for them. And he just couldn't get why I’d want a $5 packet of clove and cotton balls before a surgery that has potential to create excruciating pain. (Per webmd.com. When webmd.com uses the words “excruciating”, then you know it hurts, because webmd downplays everything.) —— I would be pretty upset at your dh. Sometimes fathers are just flat out lazy about this stuff. I honestly think it boils down to the fact that the KID’S problems are YOUR problems, but they just don’t see it that way. It’s like a part of their brain is thinking, “Eh, if he feels sick, that’s not my problem.” Consciously they might not be thinking that and if you pointed it out to them they’d say, “Hey, I don’t think that way!”, but that’s how they act.
  4. I refuse to grouse about the way I look. Just refuse to. Because like you said, my future self will shake her head at my current self and wish I hadn’t wasted time being unhappy with how I look now. I don’t give up—I’m still going to exercise and eat right and wear nice fitting clothes, but I’m not going to beat myself up that I don’t look like I’m 28 anymore.
  5. I’m 46 years old. I took up hapkido (like karate) two and a half months ago. Sometimes the instructor will say things like, “In order to get out of this hold, you can go under the person’s arm like this (he shows us), but if the person is ready for you to do that, they can make you lose your balance. So the best thing to do, is to go under their arm, but also drop to your knee and pivot on the knee.” And I’m like, “Uh uh. There’s no dropping to the knee and pivoting on it on this 46 yo mom body.” Fortunately, he has worked with older students before and when any of the older students pull him aside and say, “Nope...can’t do the knee (or whatever) part,” he’s ok with it and helps us do what we can. 🙂 At the start of class we do some sit ups and when he tells us to get up, we’re all supposed to burst up off the floor. Yeah. They all burst up, but I have to roll onto my knees and then gently push myself up. I don’t burst up from a lying down position anymore. But I’m ok with that. I’m going to add some more exercising into my daily routine and maybe I’ll limber up a bit more...and maybe not. Oh well. I’m still taking the classes anyway. The best way to make close friendships is to spend a TON of time with people. When you’re in a college dorm, or when you’re in your twenties and the only responsibility you have is work, and the evenings and weekends are completely FREE, you can spend every free minute with friends. And those friendships get close. Once you have kids...that goes away. I used to spend all day Sat and Sun and at least 3 nights a week with my friends when I was first married. Now? I have to schedule people on the calendar weeks in advance and we spend a couple of hours together until the next scheduled event months in the future. Having that much free time might not happen again until retirement age. 😞 Not diagnosed, but just before I started hapkido (couple of months), I found that my fingers started aching a lot. It’s arthritis. Unfortunately, some of the hapkido moves that my partner is learning is all about grabbing someone’s fingers and twisting them around. Ouch! That was just adding insult to injury. I started taking Turmeric about a month ago and it’s helped a lot. Doesn’t make all the pain go away, but puts a gigantic dent in it. I ordered this one. https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B00WT4D57K/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1 My dh and I and a group of friends would to go amusement parks and only ride the coasters. I have NO desire to do that anymore. None. It looks painful. Two summers ago, I rode a roller coaster for the last time. When I got off, I didn’t have that wonderful rush of adrenaline and excitement. I felt...wrong. I didn’t hurt exactly, but my body was saying loud and clear, “Don’t you ever do that to me again. This is your only warning. If you do that again, I’ll make you regret it!” I took the threat seriously and I’m never doing that again. Janeway, my eyes teared up reading that. I spend 2012-2014 completely sad. I cried numerous times every day. I wish I could give you a big hug and figure out a way to help you feel better. I’m so sorry you’re sad. ————- I have a friend who says that when you’re young, you think you’re invincible because even though you know there are risks to things, you don’t actually know anyone who’s suffered from the risks. But as you age, you start to meet people suffering. Like, at 21, you don’t know anyone who’s been in a motorcycle accident. By 45, you know a few. At 21, you don’t know anyone dying of lung cancer from smoking. At 50, you do. (For example.). So, you get more cautious just because you’ve seen more tragedy. ———- For me getting older does have a good part to it. I used to watch old shows like Leave it to Beaver or The Brady Bunch or even Star Trek and the parents or the captain knew the right thing to say or do. And I was like, “Wow! I’d have never in a million years known the right thing to say/do! How did they know?” Part of me knew it was the writers making things up, but I wouldn’t have even known what to make up as a writer. But now, I do have some wisdom. I know how to act, what to say, what to do in a lot of situations I’d have been clueless in before. I’m certainly not perfect, but I’m waaaaay better now. I like it when I run across a magazine article like Dear Abby. In the past, I never had any idea of what advice to give to the people who wrote in. Now what I do, is I only read the question and I think of how I’d answer it. Then I read Abby’s answer and compare mine to hers. A bunch of times, Dear Abby and I answer the same way, and sometimes I think my answer is even better than hers. It’s been years since once of those Dear Abby type of questions has stumped me. I *really* like that about getting older.
  6. Yes! Intellectually I know that those houses are all spruced up for the show and that as soon as the cameras leave, the kids pull out their toys and a bunch of small appliances end up on the kitchen counters. But I still have found myself succumbing to the dissatisfaction with my own home. I am suddenly thinking, “They’re right! The livingroom shouldn’t be focused around the tv! There should be seating areas for people to gather and talk.” But wait...the only thing we do in the LR is watch tv...so yes, it should be focused around the tv! My home was built in 1949 as a post WWII home for baby booming families on one young man’s salary. It’s small and the layout is most certainly not “open floor plan”. It does not have a master bedroom and certainly does not have a walk in closet (snort at the idea.). I find myself suddenly super unhappy about that...when about 2 months ago, it wasn’t even on my radar to think about it.
  7. Ok, I think Janeway didn’t actually mean SAT tests, but meant to say more subjective tests. I’ve heard that there are some orchestras where the people judging a new musician will not see the musician. They will only listen to the music the person creates. When they do that, men and women are chosen equally, but when they can see the people auditioning, they choose men more often. They aren’t even really aware they’re doing it, it’s just so culturally ingrained that man are seen as more competent than women.
  8. OMG! I stood in the living room glaring at a bunch of electronic cords for a full two minutes today!
  9. Queer Eye works well for this. They do makeover something in the person’s home, but it’s often tailored to that person’s style and isn’t as cookie cutter as the other shows that make me feel bad about my house. But that’s all I can think of, and I’m down to just a couple of episodes in that one. Even though sit-coms are usually pretty dumb...maybe some sit-coms would fit the bill. Any suggestions of ones that are pretty good? I usually go for dramas when I actually watch tv and am not cooking at the same time, so I’m out of the loop for sit-coms.
  10. I dislike cooking or cleaning up the kitchen. I have a little tv in the kitchen that I keep on while I’m working so I’m not totally miserable in there. Usually I watch home improvement shows like Property Brothers or Flip or Flop. I like them because you can work without looking at the screen, and still know what’s going on—no plot, you know? I might pause a bit and glance up at the before and after shots, but it’s not like a mystery where you have to keep your eyes on the screen to catch clues (a certain tattoo, etc.). Each show follows the exact same format and they practically use the exact same dialog half the time. The problem is that I’ve found myself becoming seriously unhappy with the way my home looks compared to the ones on the shows. And I don’t have the money, inclination, or ability to renovate. So, I look around my house and am unhappy. I used to love my eclectic house with all the crazy furniture and colors and I’m not loving it anymore. I no longer want to watch these shows that are causing me to feel dissatisfied with my perfectly fine home. I have Hulu and Netflix. Is there anything on there that I can watch, without watching? Where the plot is simply and easy to follow without my eyes being on the screen the whole time? Something that I can constantly pause and come back to later without having to remember what was going on? Something where I can be semi-focused on chopping, but also have my mind entertained a bit as well?
  11. That is also a very good point, and one I addressed with my son as we read Pride and Prejudice and Jane Eyre and books of that sort. Women just living women’s lives and being concerned with marriage and family is OK and not less than. It’s still valuable and important for all of us—especially since the men in those books were also concerned with love and marriage and family. So it’s not like those are “woman” issues. Those are human issues. Sometimes that needs to be pointed out.
  12. I see this argument brought up a lot. And I think it’s only meant to rile people emotionally because it’s not logical or based in reality. It took me until last year to realize that my son hadn’t read a book written by a woman or about women (or with women who were more than annoying stock characters who get in the man’s way and cause trouble, like the woman who tried to adopt Huck Finn or the woman that Lennie shook in Of Mice and Men), in 2 solid years, because so many of the traditional books studied in high school are written by men. Per this list (and so many others—this is just the first one I googled), only 24 of the 100 titles are written by women, with the top 13 being male authors, except for Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird, which tops everything. Last year, I purposely added books written by women and about women into his British Lit rotation because I was sending a message that only men wrote books and only men did anything of interest in books, without even realizing that’s what I was doing. Female characters were few and far between. I needed to purposely add balance to my son’s lessons because if I followed the recommended lists, there is no balance. Same thing with history. While there are women in history, there are very few compared to men. Crack open a history book and look at the index. Tally up the male names vs the female names. You already know that there will be considerably more tallies in the male column. So, yeah, I think it would be ridiculous to have a white history month or men in lit class. Because we have 12 white history months every single year and all our lit classes are men in lit classes. I’m not massaging numbers or trying to be tricky or even really invested in this. It’s just fact that men in history and men in literature are the overwhelming majority and you can go years only reading books written by men and not even realize it’s happened.
  13. I suppose everyone has to define feminist. Because on the one hand she very much is one...but perhaps on a different hand, she isn’t. Depends on the definition.
  14. Wow! I think I’m going to call the oral surgeon’s office tomorrow and ask them if they do something like this. If I was an oral surgeon, this is exactly the way I’d handle it, and as a patient, this is what I expect. I don’t even think I’ll wait for the consult to find out what they do. Because maybe I’ll change the appointment to a different oral surgeon who handles it this way if the one I’ve contacted already doesn’t. THIS is what I want.
  15. Ok, so I’ve posted about how my son needs his wisdom teeth extracted (here). I’ve read reviews of oral surgeons online and asked the locals for recommendations and have picked an oral surgeon and have a consult appointment in August. My next concern: dry sockets. I’ve had a few people talk about the excruciating pain of them (not whiners, either). They said that they went back to the oral surgeon and the oral surgeon puts something or other on them and it relieves the pain, but until then, they’re in a huge amount of pain. And I’ve heard that ibuprofen doesn’t touch it. So, let’s say my son does get a dry socket and it starts hurting after the office is closed. And I call the after hours and they say, “Ok, we’ll see him first thing tomorrow morning,” but he’s experiencing excruciating pain and will have to wait overnight until he can be seen. What is effective for pain relief for a dry socket overnight before he can see the oral surgeon? I’d like to have something effective on hand just in case. I don’t want for him to tell me at 11 at night, “Help! I’m in pain!” And I have nothing on hand to help and it’s late at night and he’s crying and we have to wait another 10 hours until we can get to the surgeon (or heaven forbid, it’s over the weekend—-do they come in on weekends to help the people with dry sockets or make them wait for days? Surely, they don’t make them wait! ??) I’ve looked online and see things like: raw honey, black tea bags, cloves, etc. What really works? Sometimes online suggestions sound good, but are super lame. Does anyone know what treatment really helps? And what is just lame?
  16. Humming...I used that when in labor. It certainly didn’t make the pain go away, but it helped me to get through it. Yes! I think it must be his watch. I thought it was an app, but now I’m realizing it’s probably just the watch.
  17. I’m the only one who can see the invisible dirty pots on the stove. I send someone in to the kitchen to wash the dishes and the person washes all the dishes, except for those invisible pots. And when I point out that the pots still need to be done, I’m met with affronted sighs, because who can be expected to know to wash invisible pots?? I’m so unreasonable.
  18. There’s a restaurant near here that also charges about $1 per pierogi. What the heck?? Nope.
  19. Looks like you’re all set for tonight. Next time something like this happens and she’s counting down, stop it at the first inkling you have of it. In fact, I’d tell her now, “Sweet DD somehow we miscommunicated and we don’t actually have the money for TS. We’re going to go ahead and see it tonight by using up our July money, but in the future, please check with me first about all the events you’re looking forward to so I can confirm if they’re going to happen. Because next time we miscommunicate, I won’t go ahead and take us to the event. I will have to tell you that we can’t do it, so please be prepared so you’re not disappointed.” Your DH is being a turd (and I say that in the friendliest way) by grousing and making you miserable because he has to take out his own children. Next time he fusses I’d say, “DH...are you serious? Please stop ruining my evening and complaining about your own kids. I know how hard it is to wrangle 3 kids because I do it all.the.time. Pull your weight, dude.” And just give him a “duh—stop being a turd” look. He’s being a baby about it. Granted, we are all babies about some things at some times, but (gently) enough is enough.
  20. My dh has some sort of app that alerts him that he needs to stop and breathe throughout the day. His job can make him very, very stressed. Long, deep breaths where you fill your lungs all the way to the bottom by letting your stomach fill with air (not your literal stomach—but you fill your lungs so much that your belly pops out.) If I was you, I’d start there. Set up an alarm to go off every hour (or whatever time you think is best) and then sit still and breathe deeply for 3 minutes. Or just keep breathing until that jolt of “I have to hurry up and breathe!”feeling goes away. I’ve found that when I pause to breathe, I felt somewhat antsy and it takes about a minute and a half for that antsy feeling to go away before I’m actually relaxing. I don’t know why and I don’t know if it matters, but they say to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Breathe in...hold for a sec...breathe out. Let each breath take a long time, but don’t necessarily force a time. Just long, slow breaths.
  21. What? What? This sounds so interesting, but somehow I’ve never heard of these food trucks. I mean, I’m gone to carnivals where they have funnel cake or pizza or hotdogs from a truck, but that’s it. Well, there were also hotdog trucks around the museums in DC, but that’s all I noticed. In all the above posts, people keep talking about the selection of food, but no one says what the food is (except the one above mine about the lobster rolls). So, what sorts of food is on these food trucks?
  22. @Random We used PrepScholar https://www.prepscholar.com/sat/s/ Here’s all I can tell you: 9th grade, had completed Alg I and took the PSAT just to get familiar with the testing environment. He got a so-so score. It wasn’t like how some people say, “I had my 7th grader take the test and she got a 1550! How can we help her get a 1600??” He got what you’d expect a bright kid who took Alg I to get—a nice score, but nothing to get too excited about. This was in the fall of the year, so he was just beginning with reading higher level books, though he was nicely grounded in grammar by then. 10th grade, had completed Alg I and Geometry and took the PSAT for practice and his score was 110 points higher than 9th grade. Nice! 11th grade, had completed Alg I, Geometry, and Alg II and took the PSAT yet again, and his score was 40 points higher than 10th grade. Frustrated. I’d hoped it would shoot up the same as between 9th and 10th. He then used PrepScholar each day for about 30-45 minutes until April and then took the actual SAT. From October of 11th grade to April of 11th grade, while taking pre-calc in school and using PrepScholar, his score went up by 150 points. PrepScholar had some help for the essay, and it was good to be able to understand how to write it—the style. It’s not a persuasive essay like I’d initially thought, it’s an analysis essay, so it was good to learn tricks for how to write this particular essay. I had to find the essay information in their blog posts as it wasn’t part of the daily test prep that the student sees, so if you want help with the essay, don’t expect it to be mixed in with the daily prep when the student signs in each day. Find their posts on how to write the essay. If you wanted more targeted help with the essay specifically for your student, there was an additional fee that we didn’t pay. We’re not shooting for colleges that put a lot of weight on the essay, but I wanted him to take it just in case he applies somewhere that requires it. I think that prepscholar probably helped all his math that he’d learned over the previous 3/4 years to stay fresh. They brushed him up on grammar that we might not have touched since 8th grade (I don’t focus much on grammar in high school). I read him some of their article/blog posts about test taking tips (especially important for a homeschooled kid who wasn’t used to bubble tests), and we got a good understanding of how to write the essay. I don’t know if something else would have been better or not. It’s impossible to tell, I suppose, unless you have a bunch of kids who are all exactly the same and you put them all through different test prep programs at the same time. I suppose I can credit PrepScholar with the 150 jump in points and that’s nothing to sneeze at.
  23. This article has a series of tweets about college debt. People write in things like, “I owed $40,000 in college loans, have paid $20,000, and now I still owe $38,000”. (I made up those numbers, but those are the sorts of things they’re tweeting about.) https://www.boredpanda.com/student-debt-crisis-posts/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=organic What? How does this happen? I figure it’s something about interest being paid and payments not going to principle? But the bigger question is: how is it avoided? Is this only certain types of loans that work this way? What awful loans are they? How do you avoid them? How does one get a reasonable loan? Can you? I knew that college costs a lot and I figured my kids could get some loans and then would pay them back, but I did NOT know that they could pay back tens of thousands of dollars and have only a few thousand knocked off the loan. How can you get a loan that works like normal where if you put a bunch of money toward it, it actually does down and you can pay it off in a few years?
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