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Garga

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Everything posted by Garga

  1. Probably the person working there has no idea how awful it is to live with ADHD and how it can mess with your life. And no, Walmart doesn’t always have anything, unfortunately.
  2. It is a nightmare. My son is 21 and everything in his life is like he’s slogging through thigh-high mud pits. Everything is just So Hard because of his blasted ADHD. He’s 21 now and so he’s handling this shortage himself somewhat, but I still remind him every few days to call the pharmacy and ask, “Are you able to fill my prescription yet?” He can’t remember to call them on his own. They said to call once a week to check in, but I told him to call at least twice a week. When he was 7 or 10 or 14, we could have gotten through this. But at 21 in college? The stakes are so high. If he can’t keep up his grades because he can’t focus, what happens? Drops out? Has to work at WalMart for the rest of his life? I hate ADHD so much.
  3. What is wrong with human beings? sigh
  4. 4 hours for a 5th grader is just fine. It’s completely goofy to think someone can do high school level work in 1-1.5 hours. Actually, it’s a bit heartbreaking.
  5. Covid messed with people’s perception of what “homeschool” is. All the school kids were sent home with work from the school, and everyone called that “homeschool”.
  6. I think it’s a matter of looking at every purchase you make and considering if you can skip it entirely or how you could make it cheaper. For example: handsoap. You can buy disposable dispensers and replace them when they run out. Or you could buy a jug and refill the dispensers. Or you could get the foaming dispensers and refill those, which require that you only use about 1/4 of the amount of soap and the rest is water, or you could get bar soap. Right there are 4 levels of cutting back, depending on how far you want to go. Do that with everything-decide how far you want to cut back and cut back that far. Tissues - 4 levels to choose from: name brand, generic, toilet paper, re-usable hankies. Food: There are hundreds of ways to cut back on food items. You don’t need snacks to survive, so you could entirely cut them, or have fewer, etc. Replace some meats with beans (like in tacos), etc Heat/ac: go a degree or two (or more, depending on your tolerance) hotter in the summer, colder in the winter (I wear two robes all winter long over my clothes so we can keep down the heating costs. It’s efffortless and I’m not deprived.) Gasoline: drive the speed limit with gentle stops and starts (makes a big difference in your gas mileage), combine trips. When we were at our most thrifty, I went to town only once a month for groceries, because it was a gallon of gas each time I went, so I only paid 1 gallon to get my groceries each month, instead of 4 gallons if I’d have gone once a week. There was a store closer that had fresh fruit/veg for the fruit/veg that wouldn’t make it the whole month. Look into generic or cheaper brands. Look into just doing without. Look to rent instead of buy (like library books), etc.
  7. This is new territory for the OP and her DH, though. It’s not 100 years old to them. They used to agree. They discovered they don’t. The feelings are strong on either side. They have not resolved the feelings. OP has told us in the past that she was on the verge of leaving him until they agreed not to discuss politics. That’s what’s bubbling to the surface in this instance. Of course they should be able to talk without falling apart. But there is a lot they can’t discuss that is simmering and is probably what caused this most recent upset. It’s a good start that the DH apologized. I’m not sure what they should do going forward.
  8. And yes, my dh and I used to have big, emotional fights every few years. Somewhere along the line I just stopped caring and I think he did too. (Stopped caring about being right, stopped caring about whether we agreed, stopped caring about being in perfect synch, etc.) We didn’t do anything special to get here. It just happened as we aged. (Fingers crossed we don’t yell at each other tomorrow after I’ve posted this!)
  9. From other posts, you are opposites politically. Ever since 2016, a lot of people have lost respect for the opinions of people they used to respect. It’s been very difficult for everyone to navigate. You don’t respect his political opinions and he doesn’t respect yours. You both think the other’s politics are wrong. When married people discover that they have polar opposite opinions on big topics, it creates intensely negative feelings, as you know. You and he haven’t been able to come to terms with how you both feel politically, so you have agreed not to discuss it anymore. The feelings are too intense and you can’t talk reasonably together without getting upset. So, when you had a disagreement over something silly, I’ll bet you $1 that it momentarily roused those intense feelings from over the past 8 years when you disagreed on big issues. And even though this issue was small, the feelings are big. You’ve agreed not to talk about the political issues, but you are allowed to talk about stupid office policies, so all those feelings about big issues spilled into this conversation about stupid office policies. I think he’s spot on that he feels that you don’t respect his opinion. Of course, it’s not really about the office policy that you don’t respect, but it’s about his politics. And since politics is often tied to our sense of morality and identity, once he got a whiff that you might not respect his opinion about the office policy, he felt all those feelings he felt when he realized you don’t agree with his politics (morality/identity, etc) and he got over-the-top emotional. As far as what to do about it, I don’t know exactly. Others have posted some good de-escalating terms.
  10. Right. It seems like his mom is overstepping and you don’t need to join in with that. The man’s privacy should be respected.
  11. Being unable to defend yourself is one of the worst feelings!!! There’s nowhere for the anger to go. Deep breath. We all know the truth and you know the truth and those who love you know the truth. But it still burns that people out there have smeared your good name. 😞
  12. Not exactly like that—we did have plans to go view it, but my husband injured his neck, so he couldn’t be in the car for that long or his neck pain would have been unbearable. We all had to tamp down our disappointment and make do with what we had, so we drove to an open area locally and we saw it as a partial eclipse. Even though it wasn’t total, it was still impressive and everyone did a good job of being happy with what we could see. This time, dh’s neck is ok, but the boys are now in college and have classes that day. They just can’t get away for a weekend trip, since they’d have to miss classes on both Monday and Tuesday. The oldest has learning disabilities and missing 2 days of classes would completely derail him for the rest of the semester. The youngest lives at home and is over the moon at the idea that he’ll have the house to himself for 3 days. At this point in their lives, they are actually happier to stay put. They feel satisfied with what they saw last time. DH and I are pretty excited this time around, but hoping there aren’t clouds. We understand that area might be prone to clouds, but we’ll just make do a best we can like last time. Either way, it’ll be a fun little road trip, even if we stay in a dinky hotel and it rains on us 🙂
  13. It’s going to be lovely, spending time together! We’re going to sleep in Titusville, which is about 5 hours away from where we live, but we’ll drive closer into totality the day of the eclipse. I was just thinking today that we need to figure out a few different places to drive to, in case it’s cloudy in one place and not in another. We’ll have to head out early on the morning of the eclipse, because there might be others with the same idea and I don’t know what sort of traffic we’ll run into. I suppose we’ll need some chairs and snacks, too. And sunblock, because I burn like a crisp the moment I step outside. (Must be part vampire.) It’s getting close to needing to make actual plans! (Hmm…also need to find a place with bathrooms wherever we go. Traveling is complicated 🙂 )
  14. I got these from BandH.com: https://www.bhphotovideo.com/c/product/1750789-REG/american_paper_optics_eclipse20pk2_solar_eclipse_glasses_20_pack.html I don’t still have it, but I did the research at the time and was satisfied that this pair was legit. I know the company is. They’re a reputable company. I’ve bought a lot of camera gear from them. Maybe looking at this pair can get you going. @Ginevra—which ones did you get?
  15. No. No no no. NO. No no no. (Crosses “Trip to Australia” off list.)
  16. I won’t kill bugs (except mosquitoes, because they hunt me down and bite me), but I absolutely would have taken the beetle outside for you. It was really mean for her to leave it there, knowing you were afraid. Sounds like a power trip. Even if you came across strong in your panic, she is a grown up and ought to have realized that you were in a panic and might not be able to be as polite as you normally are. Where was her compassion for you? I’d be pretty upset if I was you.
  17. I personally wouldn’t skip it. Biology is often a required course for a student to earn a high school diploma, so colleges expect to see it on a transcript. I’m in PA and the public school kids must pass 3 state-mandated tests in order to graduate. The tests are for Alg I, Literature, and Biology. Biology is that big of a deal to them that everyone must pass that standardized test to graduate. As far as how you teach it, that’s up to you. I like the other ideas listed above. But for me, I’d be nervous about skipping it entirely for a college-bound student, because colleges are going to do a double-take if they don’t see that expected class. My kids are both in college now and I wasn’t up to fighting the status quo, so I just made sure that we covered the expected courses in high school so there wouldn’t be blips getting into college. Other homeschoolers aren’t as nervous as me about things like that, so this is just a personal opinion.
  18. I had covid in September, so had immunity for roughly 90 days. My husband had it in November. My youngest had a covid shot in October. My oldest hasn’t ever had covid (until now) and didn’t get a booster this year (he got cocky that he was impervious to Covid) and he caught covid starting with symptoms on Dec 27th. The rest of us didn’t catch it from him, so our immunity or shot held up. He was around us for the first 2 days of symptoms because they were so mild at first he didn’t even think about them. On the morning of the 3rd day of symptoms he felt bad enough to realize something was off and we tested him at home and it was positive, and then he isolated from us. I got my covid shot this past Tuesday (now that my 90 days are up), hoping to make it through to the summer without catching it again. My friend who lives in a nursing home said that 8 of them came down with it this week, so they’re all on lockdown. I’ve heard that a few coworkers got it sometime around Christmas, but we all work from home, so the didn’t get it from each other.
  19. Register. Receive the gifts. Return any that can’t be used for cash.
  20. My husband used to teach meteorology at a college. He loves places like where you live—anything could happen! Unfortunately for him, the towns around get the exciting weather, but the placement of our little town means most snow and rain, etc, passes us by. For a weather-loving meteorology professor, this is a sad, sad state.
  21. I am so sorry to hear this. We’ve been through 2 layoffs in our marriage and it’s a horrible gut punch when it happens and a bit of pure terror. Just awful. I’m so sorry. There’s not a lot anyone can say that helps. You simply have to endure through it.
  22. Oh, I know. But there have been conversations with my parents where they said something, but did something different, and they end up not remember saying what they said. It was just something they sort of tossed out there based on the feelings they were having in the moment and when those feelings were gone, they forgot that they’d made whatever statement they’d made. The point was, stupid things like that can derail a relationship and you must address it and not let it fester. Someone says something flippantly or on a whim or not really thinking about it, or being a little dramatic, “Oh, I could NEVER fly all the way to Europe,” but over time, the reason they said such a thing fades and they don’t even really remember saying it.
  23. This is why the OP needs to talk to them about it. If she doesn’t and if she makes suppositions and if she lets it fester, the relationship is damaged. For all we know, Mom said about not flying just on a whim at the time and doesn’t even remember it. Just ask. Test the water before getting too serious or jump right in being serious. Testing the waters without getting too serious: “I thought you didn’t want to fly to Europe-but now that you do, this opens such great opportunities for us to show you our home here.” Jumping right in being serious: “You told me you didn’t want to fly to Europe and that’s why you couldn’t visit me, but you’re flying to Europe on a vacation with a group of (strangers/friends/whoever they are.). That hurts me and makes me think there’s some other reason you don’t want to see me other than flying.”
  24. This is key. You must ask them. I won’t tell my whole life story about me and my parents, but it’s been a series of all of us not communicating and making up our own reasons for why things did or didn’t happen, which weren’t true at all. We wasted 30 years of our lives believing wrong information about each other and the relationship just can’t be truly fixed now. So, flat out say, “I didn’t think you guys wanted to fly out here, but since you do, this is the PERfect time for us to meet up! DH, the kids and I would love to have you see our home. If you’re interested, can we look into tacking on a couple of days at the end of your trip?” As someone who has lived through these sorts of scenarios with my own parents, I can’t express it strongly enough that you need to talk to them ASAP and do NOT, under any circumstances, let this eat away at you or fester. Lay the cards on the table. Don’t accuse them about how they didn’t think they’d fly out there. Simply merrily say, “I didn’t think you wanted to fly, but since you’ll be out here anyway….”.
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