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Everything posted by teachermom2834

  1. My ds drove Uber Eats some between the time he graduated college and the time his full time job started. He lives in a busy upscale area and he would just do it for a couple hours at lunch and dinner and mostly just to office buildings. He did well enough with tips. But I would never do it where I live! It would sound like fun at first and I’m sure I wouldn’t make five deliveries before I ended up someplace that made me feel scared or uncomfortable.
  2. Oh definitely! Awkwardness is a strong genetic trait. 🙂
  3. I remember thinking, so pridefully, how silly women were for working when they had kids in daycare. The daycare costs/ getting takeout/work clothing/commuting costs/ stress/etc. They were hardly bringing home anything! Why not just stay home? 🤦‍♀️ Needless to say, I get it now. But like Melissa Louise asked, would I have listened to someone who laid out for me the error of my thinking? I was 23 and thought I knew it all. I didn’t see that someday I would be middle aged and not know nearly as much!
  4. Agreed! I have even told my dd that she might be an awkward kid but she’s going to be a fantastic adult. The three grown ones have done great and not hurt by the things they missed. So I’m comfortable with my choices. But seems some parents do have some regret about it.
  5. This is what I have figured out as well. It is going to take more than Snapchat to make my dd fit in with her peers. And when I give on one thing to grease the social wheels what comes next is another thing I don’t want to do. It isn’t worth it. Now, I do reconsider and reserve the right to change my mind about things as circumstances change. But I don’t feel pressured to “give in” on things.
  6. Two other threads going have touched on the theme of homeschoolers being sheltered/limited and being out of touch socially and the fallout from that. I have btdt with three adult boys who homeschooled until they moved away for college at 18 yo. I currently have a 13 yo dd who has always been homeschooled but now goes to a cottage school twice a week all day. Throughout my parenting I have had to make different calls about when to hold a hard line on technology, media, etc. versus when to allow the kids to have experiences to connect to their peers. With my oldest two I gave in more often to their need to belong and be included and I usually regretted it. With my third I was much stronger with limits on social media and technology and I don’t regret that. My “baby” now at 13 yo is out of touch with her peers as she doesn’t watch any YouTubers and she doesn’t have tiktok and her phone only calls and texts. She is a happy kid and gets along with others she just has no idea what tiktok dance they are all doing and she gets left out of the youth group Snapchat group etc. At this point in my life (as an experienced mom and a middle age woman who admittedly has an attitude many days) I pretty much don’t care. I care a little in that I tell her I know it is hard and it feels bad to be left out and I do have and show compassion for that. But she still isn’t getting Instagram and it isn’t even up for debate at this time. I do bend on some things (like we listen to Top 40 type radio in the car even though I hate it). I really don’t desire to make my kids totally sheltered and unable to relate to other kids. But I’m not bringing social media into her life yet and I don’t feel sorry for whatever social hurdles that puts up for her. I’m not asking for advice on all the different social media. I feel pretty aware of the good and bad of them. I’m just wondering what conclusions other people have come to. I’ve come to the conclusion that it is better to stick to my (informed and thoughtful) opinions on these things rather than to give in for social ease. I’m more confident in this approach now than when oldest was a tween. Just wondering what others have found and decided on this.
  7. Hindsight is a funny thing. My most difficult child to homeschool and the one who is likely to have resentment and lingering bitterness is the one who gets me thinking of what I could have done differently. I start down that path and then I remember that this particular child was/is most difficult about everything. He is prone to negativity and resentment in general and if it wasn’t homeschooling it would be something else. He’s nice enough now not to have specifically expressed regret or resentment about homeschooling but I wouldn’t be surprised if it is there. Also, I remind myself that this child was homeschooled and sheltered intentionally to protect him from himself, honestly. Middle school and early high school would have been wrought with bad decisions. He would have been attracted to the wrong crowd and been in trouble all the time. Possibly to long term consequence. So while he was unhappy to have a limited social life, a more active social life would have been a disaster for him. He just had a few years there of immaturity/risk taking/rebellion/rejection of authority would have had way too many ways to go wrong in a public school setting. By 17 or so he had come out of that and went to college and did well and now is pretty risk adverse and responsible for a 21 yo. He just had a few years there where he needed extremely limited opportunity to go off the rails while his brain caught up and he settled down. So who knows what could have gone differently? When I think of the troubles we possibly avoided just because he didn’t have opportunity I am pretty grateful. And I don’t think I can quantify that in any way. But I also think the other 3/4 of my children would have done great in school just as they did at home.
  8. You know people are just all so different. What @Quilldescribes makes total sense and I can see how it really was hard for her kids. I think I would have felt the way her kids did/do. I went to school but was always clueless because my parents were so strict. I hated it. But my kids, even though they never went to school, just didn’t think that stuff was a big deal. The first time in school was de at a local university junior year. They had hiccups getting settled but they just shrugged them off. They claim it made them comfortable being uncomfortable and how to handle unfamiliar situations and how to ask questions and adapt. So people and personalities are just so different. So of course there is no uniform outcome! But at least back in the 2003 when I started I sure believed it all about how superior of an approach it was in every way. I bought it. My dc don’t have the complaints that @Quill describes…but it was/is far from perfect and I have definitely had thoughts equivalent to “it’s a cracker”. But I’m still doing it!
  9. I’ve had three kids at three different schools receive this money. One had to apply for it and I think he got three or four payments before he graduated. He had some need but it wasn’t extreme. Oldest was about to graduate and had no need. He didn’t apply it just showed up in his account. My current college freshman has no need. He has a full ride and outside scholarships on top of that. I guess they are just going by FAFSA EFC to determine who gets it. It’s a weird process and pretty inconsistent across the board.
  10. I can tell you that my 13 yo homeschool dd has had trouble with friends at activities because she does not have an interest in video games and she does not have tik tok or YouTubers she follows. So my dd is totally out of synch with her schooled peers. So I don’t think school is going to help this situation. And it isn’t even just the boys.
  11. I have been here for a very long time. Almost 20 years I think on these boards? Over the years we have had some regular very passionate homeschoolers come back and say they were wrong about the benefits of homeschooling, saying they would never do it if they had it to do over, and discouraging others. I can think of a couple specifically that ended up pretty down on homeschooling. They didn’t stick around long term, which makes sense. But there definitely have been regrets expressed here over the years. 🙁
  12. I am totally hooked. We’ve had it for many years. I have gotten less and less interested in shipping in person (this started pre pandemic). Every place is so crowded it seems and I just don’t enjoy browsing or searching for things. I have found it is really hard to check out of any local grocery store with a full cart of items. It just takes forever and the lines are so long. I am moving as many things to subscribe and save as possible. It just makes grocery shopping easier and faster to have most non perishables arriving at my door and not part of the grocery outing. When I need something I like to just order it while I am thinking about it. We use some of the other features (like streaming) but that isn’t the real addiction. The real addiction is realizing I forgot to buy gum at the grocery store and ordering it and having it show up at my house two days later.
  13. Not regret, exactly, but close enough to understand where you are coming from. We don’t have extended family help so I never understood how we could have given our kids what we wanted them to have just in basic terms like being able to play a sport/have someone there for school plays, etc. Dh’s career wouldn’t have allowed him to be present for stuff so it would have been 100% on me. What kind of career could I have had with that? The dual income families I know have grandparents doing the after school running and in school volunteering. The kids have done well but I have no evidence they wouldn’t have done just as well in school. I know lots of amazing kids and young adults who were not homeschooled. At one time it felt so important and critical and it just doesn’t feel that way in hindsight. But it wasn’t just homeschooling that kept me home. Even if they went to school it just seemed they needed a parent (or parental substitute) available. I do just wonder what I could have done or been? I’m not discontent for someone to say I was just mom. But I do wonder what I could have been. I see women or men who are successful and have good careers and I do sometimes think to myself that I am just as smart and competent as those people. What might I have been capable of?
  14. My dd used to go to Sunday school after mass on Sundays. Dh and I would run to Aldi/run through Aldi/ work together to bag/ run home and unload: and get back to the church to be waiting for dd when she got out. We must have done all that in about 70 minutes (and 30 of that was drive time to Aldi/to home/back to church. We were practically running down the aisles and both throwing stuff in. If we missed something we didn’t even usually have time to run back and get it. It was kind of fun and silly to have this weekly sprint challenge through the store. Even with both of us working together it still took us 30 minutes from the time we got out of the car until we were leaving the lot. Aldi streamlined things for us. Either they had an item or didn’t, not much time analyzing all the options to substitute. The store was small and we knew the layout. I had to quit Aldi because I was having some really gross quality issues. I’ve never really found my groove elsewhere. Our stores are all so woefully slow to checkout there is nowhere I could get out of in 30 minutes if I had more than a handful. Sometimes I have to wait ten minutes just for access to a self checkout.
  15. Yes. Three months. Three different scenarios. Dh opted out but I didn't realize I had to also. First month we didn't get any deposit so I thought we were opted out. Second month we got the full amount we would have expected for the one child we have that qualifies ($250.00) . Ok. Whatever. Then this month we got one for $188. ???? We haven't had an income increase that would result in a lower amount so I have no idea were $188 came from. So random. This is going to be a mess at tax time. Not necessarily for us because our taxes are generally simple and we only have one child so it doesn't seem so much of a big deal. But it is going to be really confusing.
  16. So long. We did Walmart curbside for years and I have just given that up and started trying to shop in store. Walmart in store is a no go. The shelves are empty and if you have more items than you can easily do in self checkout you will stand in line so long all your frozen food will melt. So I am trying two smaller stores (a Pubkix and another local chain). Seems like it should be a quick in and out but it isn’t. So hard to find everything in unfamiliar stores. I end up missing things I need on the first pass and have to backtrack. Then I usually have to go to the other store for what we was missing at the first. I’m sure this will get better but for the moment it is taking me way too long. Maybe almost an hour in a store for a family of three. I used to get in and out for my family of six faster when I had a familiar store and a good system.
  17. If intended colleges require fine arts gen Ed courses then taking it de might be a benefit. My current college freshman who is a business analytics and statistics major was happy to get his humanities gen eds out of the way through de. If de isn’t an option I would very likely be very generous in counting that 120 hours and be creating a course that was as painless as possible. Not everything has to be intense. I suspect you are looking at competitive schools but I will just mention that the state flagship my ds is attending has a fine arts credit listed in their recommended core courses. But the fine print is that it is not actually required for admission. I felt confident enough in his application to let him skip it. He is attending on a full ride scholarship so it didn’t hurt him. But if you are looking at more competitive admissions schools I wouldn’t recommend that approach.
  18. That police body cam video would be so hard to watch for her family. She is so upset. The whole thing is so sad. Such a nightmare for the family. I just don’t know how I could even get one foot in front of the other if that was my daughter.
  19. We have used many online classes. While consolidating into one or two providers is likely preferable (they also tend to have different break schedules) I have remained picky enough that my children take the classes I feel best for them even if it means different providers. If all things were equal, or close to equal, I would put them with a provider we were already using. I think it is common to be overwhelmed. I think you will get the hang of it and it will become easier and you will be able to be less involved and your child will learn valuable skills. My college kids had multiple platforms to manage even for in person classes. I would stay involved in helping him get a system or routine to manage it. Investing that time now will save you later. My kids did well with online classes but even for them three hours is a long haul. They did it, on occasion, but it was not ideal and I wouldn’t recommend it. So you are not alone in a problem with that. It’s a very long time to be in online classes. Much different than three hours of in person school.
  20. We really enjoyed the aquarium in Atlanta. It has cool exhibits but also has shows that were really fun. If you go I would look for some insider tips to make the most of the experience. I don’t remember the details but I do remember that we started early in the day. By the time we were leaving it was shoulder to shoulder in the lobby and I couldn’t wait to get out of there. I think we reserved seats for the dolphin show? There was a penguin walk at some point and that was really funny. There was also some kind of conference room (?) where you could get a great view of the whale shark. It was awesome and away from the main exhibit. Maybe someone here knows the details. I can’t remember other than that we would be sure to go that way again next time. So if you do the aquarium it is probably worth doing a little research on the best way to visit. We are looking forward to going back but I will have to look into those things because I am getting old, apparently, and can’t remember all the details like I used to.
  21. I never got into LulaRoe. I think that came after what were for me the prime MLM customer days of stay at home moms groups where some of the moms were trying to make it in the MLMs and the other moms were so desperate for a night out and social time that they attended and hosted parties. The thing that was different observing the LulaRoe madness from afar was that otherwise normal professional women were going crazy to buy these leggings. Women were stalking consultants unboxing videos trying to claim the patterns and sizes they wanted. Women who normally were always very stylish and put together started wearing some very strange outfits that seemed so out of character. But they were proudly proclaimed to be LulaRue. So there was something about those leggings that people were actually clamoring for and competing to buy. At least for a moment. So I can see some women being sucked into the idea that people really wanted these leggings. Because for a time, people did. I guess the scarcity of the items drove the interest? I don’t know. Never owned a pair but I did get intrigued enough to try to figure it out. All I got was that they were buttery. Hahaha.
  22. I actually did buy something that night that I liked and bought again off of Amazon rather than deal with the lady. Which is awful. If she wasn’t so pushy I would have bought it from her since I was buying it anyway but the aggressive tactics they had been taught didn’t pay off for her. It was a little funny at the end of the night (in which I had a good time because I was with friends - I wasn’t being a jerk but I did decline to share contact info of anyone with her) when I was ordering and paying her. She was trying to get people to sign up as consultants under her. She said “I get the impression this is not the opportunity for you, but do you know anyone you think would want to start her own business?” NO. NO. NO. NO. And now I’m going to buy from Amazon!!!
  23. That is good to know. I have a scraper/spatula thing I have used nearly daily (if not more) for 20 years. I don’t know if they still sell those but mine is finally starting to break down and I will need to find something special to replace it 🙂
  24. I think it is fine but I do think it is a little weird because if he also has a roommate then it is someone else’s space too. So I think it is normal to want to check out your kid’s room but also appropriate to be aware that it is someone else’s bedroom too. I have had three boys go to college and I have never hung around their rooms beyond just an initial look. I figured it was their space and honestly I was happy to meet them outside so I never had to fret about the condition of it. 🙂 So it is appropriate to visit your son’s room but personally I wouldn’t choose it as a place to hang out. What I did think was inappropriate was a mom I knew at my first son’s college who went in monthly to clean up the entire suite. She would clean under all their beds and everything. I found that wildly inappropriate and an invasion of privacy. My MIL used to want to spend the night in dh’s dorm room. He normally talked her out of it when roommate was there but one time she stayed when the roommate wasn’t there. I also vote that is inappropriate.
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