I know it used to be true that women were underrepresented in most STEM fields and I think that is still the perception but I am wondering if that is still actually true? I know many young women that have gone into engineering programs out of high school and it seems when my dd’s school announces future plans of graduates many women are headed into STEM fields. My dd was filling out an application for a summer engineering camp (supposedly competitive but I really don’t know how much so) and she asked if she had a better shot getting in as a female. I have no idea. 20 years ago I would have said so, but does that still hold true? I realize at the highest levels (like Ivies) they are so highly rejective they have plenty of women to choose from but is there still a lopsided ratio of men to women in these programs at, say, a less competitive state school level? Just curious really. My dd isn’t going to be pursuing any colleges that she shouldn’t easily get into so I’m not really looking for any kind of advantage for her. She has just applied to a few summer programs that had me wondering what the current climate is and curious as to what experience she is likely to have if she attends.

I don’t know how to quantify it but I know there is a mental cost to me to holding onto stuff. Too much stuff even if it is out of sight in an attic or garage is just overwhelming to me. It is such a relief to me to get rid of stuff. I have only once or twice had to replace something I had decluttered because I found I did actually need it. Even with those costs I am still way ahead so I am pretty brutal getting rid of stuff.

Well I give you permission to just not do favors and not feel bad about it 🙂 You are providing a venue and cake and that is plenty. I can't believe you've had kids ask about it...not because it is rude because we all know kids can blurt out all kinds of things but just because I can't believe a kid even ever thinks about getting a favor at a party. It always seemed like a waste. I remember when my oldest kids were little a mom at playgroup said "Can we not as moms just all come together and agree to stop with the party favors?" That was 25 years ago so I guess not. Haha.

I never used them with my boys ages now 25, 23, and 21 but I do have them for my 15 yo dd. I have just found people to be so much more aggressive now I just figured there might be occasions someone would cut us some slack if they knew it was a kid learning. I think the time that made me determined to get them was when I was letting her drive in a nearly empty mall parking lot. We stopped at a four way stop (in the nearly empty lot) and another driver didn’t like how long she paused at the stop sign before she started again and honked and waved his arms at us. I thought if you can’t teach your kid to drive in an empty lot how can you ever teach them? Surely everyone knows they have to learn somehow and surely if the guy knew I had a 15 yo new driver he would chill? Another time my dd made a terrible lane change that was the closest I have ever been to an accident and I thought maybe the other car would have given more space if they had been warned I had a learner driving. So we got the magnets. Lots of cars at my dd’s school have them. Funny- I told my dd to find one and put it in my Amazon cart and she put one in that said “Please be patient. My teenage daughter is learning to drive and there is already one person yelling at her.” I didn’t buy that one but I did laugh.

For what it is worth I once had a conversation with a woman whose husband was a scientist (I believe a physicist) who insisted, and taught their son, that they only needed to wash after pooping. So…people are gross. I don’t leave bad reviews even when they are deserved. I’m just not wired that way I guess. So I would never do that for this but I think not eating there is totally justified. No one has to eat anywhere they don’t want to for any reason. But the bar for ruining someone’s reputation and business is just so very very high for me. And I’ve probably eaten food prepared by unwashed hands so many times (eww..yuck to think about) and lived to tell about it. But yeah I’m not eating there probably ever even if I inspected the place myself.

I know people love food trucks and they are probably no grosser than any other establishment but I glance at the health department inspections scores published by the news stations and the food trucks in my areas, in general, do very poorly. Not a defense of these people just one of those things. If you are going to eat outside your home you just have to suspend all thinking about humans being human. Because humans are gross. So I think you should let people who run a food truck and people who enjoy a food truck just keep food trucking along because it is all potentially gross and no one really wants to know. And if they stop going to this food truck and go to the next one that one probably has some other gross issue. When it comes to eating outside the home ignorance really is bliss.

We found this to be true. For the outside activities with school kids it wasn’t really possible to break into the connection kids that were in school all day together had. Then for homeschool stuff a lot of the kids also went to church together so they had church youth group a couple times a week in addition to whatever one activity we had with them. It is just hard to break in when the other kids just have so much more time and access to each other and it isn’t personal. Just they don’t even think to include probably and stuff just happens spontaneously and you just aren’t there to be spontaneous.

Yeah you would carry a quarter to call home in an emergency. But you were only calling in an emergency. The ride etc was already planned in advance. No just calling when you were done or for a change of plans. That was all prearranged.

I can’t believe this when I think about it. We got all geared up in snow wear, trudged to school, left boots and coats and mittens in the hallway to dry (don’t forget the lay out the plastic bread bags) and then did it all again to trudge home to eat lunch and back again. What is even crazier to me is that fourth graders were the safety patrol in charge of stopping traffic for the little kids to cross the street. So everyday they set all these little kids loose in the middle of the day but no worries…the fourth graders have the safety on lock. Different times for sure.

As far as the education side of it goes, I have no idea the quality of what is available at the school your child will attend but my dd is fine at her school. In 9th grade I wasn’t really impressed and I would grumble and talk about how she wasn’t learning anything and how academically she would be so much better at home etc etc. She was there for the extras for sure. But 10th grade? Wowsers. I can’t say that any more. I could never afterschool because she has so much work which is a gripe for another day but aside from her just being busy the quality of what she is doing is really good. She has some extracurriculars (robotics and mock trial) that I couldn’t replicate at home. Of course this may totally not be the case for you. My dd goes to private school but it is small and not fancy or highly rated or anything. Again, I have no idea what the academic situation is but maybe it will be better than you fear and maybe it gets better after 9th grade. Maybe it is either 1)not good and it leaves you some margin to after school or 2) rigorous enough that even though you don’t have time to add anything it is adequate. I could never ever add a thing but I don’t feel like I need to anymore.

I stated upthread that we send my youngest child, my dd, to high school. When she has had a rough spell socially or some kind of girl drama or lunch table dilemma or the like I will get worked up and say things to the effect of “you know we don’t need to do this. We can homeschool” or “this is why I always wanted you home” and even on her worst days socially my dd is aghast at the idea that she would be better off socially at home. She will take all the social bumps and hard days and difficulty finding her tribe in school over the isolation she felt homeschooling in a heartbeat. Like there is absolutely no question, for her, that she is so much happier around people all day even when she is having a bad day. I guess that part kind of surprised me. For mine it isn’t even a mixed bag socially. For her, I think even if she was struggling in school to connect with real friends, she would always choose being around people all day in her classes, clubs, her teachers, chit chatting with the lunch ladies, etc. Her worst days at school are still happier for her than her best days at home which is sad for me to think about but she really is extroverted I guess. At least I know our decision was the right one 100% Now my boys, at least a couple of them, would not have been that way. They would have been happy if they had a great friend base but if they didn’t they would have been like “I hate all these people get me out of here.”

We had to send my dd to high school after homeschooling my first 3 all the way through. It was hard for them but they found just enough outlet to get by. But it was just impossible for my dd and I tried all the things.

The red flag that this was never going to work out was that the lady had the nerve to ever at any point suggest only having playdates with the one child of OP. C’mon now that is a lot of nerve. To say, and expect to remain friends, that we want to have a playdate with one kid but not the other just is next level. Like maybe it is something we have all thought about families from time to time but to actually go there and say it is BOLD. So I think this has been doomed for awhile. Thats not really behavior conducive to friendly family relationships. It’s just one of those “you just can’t say that” things.

I suspect the other mom will have a laundry list of perceived offenses this child has committed and not just the one from months ago. Just my hunch.

It is excellent advice. I’ve BTDT. The second you open yourself up to discussion people feel the right to say all kinds of crap. And how are they going to be friends after this anyway?

Ugh. With the additional info I’d just cancel the meeting and be done with this person. There is nothing to discuss about how your child is impact your relationship with this other family other than the relationship with the other family is DONE. My third boy was hell on wheels. He really was a handful and it did cost me some friendships because people just didn’t like having him around. I did discipline him. He was just a handful. But no one else bashing him did any good. I’ve BTDT and I’d just be done. Don’t need to have the conversation. See ya! (btw…my kid is turning 21 yo this Sunday and he is amazing…super smart and hard working, model citizen)

Oh awesome. I was just telling dd last night we would go to Hobby Lobby and see if something like this existed. Thank you!

Say I don’t know anyone who has a button pin maker. I’m sure I must know someone but I can’t figure out who that is. I just need one, so I’m not buying a batch. It is just for a costume. Ideally it would have a photo and text but we could get by with just text. Quick turnaround is ideal but I do have a couple weeks. Who does this? I know I can do it from Etsy but who else? Does Walgreens do this? Staples? Any other tips for how to procure one single button pin? I realize may have to buy a batch but they would be unneeded. Edit: I do realize I can go to Walgreens etc and find out if they have this service but personal experience is usually best from the Hive regarding where you folks have had this done and pros and cons.

It was many many years ago but I took trazadone for insomnia at much lower doses than used for depression. It worked well and I have often thought I should ask for it again.

We have a huge trunk that my great grandmother brought on the boat from Italy when she was 15 yo. In that I have my grandmother’s China and crystal that I inherited. So it is stored there but not on display. I only get out the china and crystal every couple years so it is rarely opened and not really practical storage. It is of sentimental value and there is no where else to put this big trunk. All I have in my dining room is our table and chairs and then this trunk in the corner. When we have company the trunk does tend to serve as storage for purses and junk that people drop as they come in.

I have a dd in private school and there is a lot of grace. In this kind of instance I am sure the teacher would have reminded the student several times about the missing work and given many opportunities to turn it in before the end of the grading period. Depending on the teacher it may or may not be rounded up but I cannot imagine any of her teachers not at least giving several reminders and prompts to turn in the work and accepting the late work. Now maybe the online teacher did that and maybe he/she did not, but all I am saying is there is a lot of grace and hand holding. So if you want to help out here I think that is fine. I think it is also fine to let the B stand and it likely won’t cause your child any kind of issue whatsoever. So whatever you have most peace with is going to be ok here, IMO. Just my regular post to remind us all that we don’t need to hold our homeschool students to stricter standards than their brick and mortar peers. While I can’t speak for all schools, and I am sure there are some super strict ones out there, the vast majority of students yours will be competing with will have had teachers that held their hands, reminded them of missing assignments, gave extra credit, rounded grades, etc.

Also in some families or friend groups people want to go in on a bigger gift. Or sometimes the groom will say please let me out this awesome coffee maker on here or whatever. In my younger days I would have probably been judgemental about this. Now I am like why? Who cares? Maybe they know crazy Aunt Linda is going to spend $500 so they would like to pick out what she spends it on? Now I can see counseling my own daughter to not put expensive things on because we are really not those folk and I have this knowledge. But anyone else’s registry I will just assume I don’t know who it is geared for or what the story is but that they aren’t demanding I buy them any of it.

The only one I have been to recently has had the full variety from very inexpensive to very expensive to ways to do cash. I think it is the best way- to have a variety. I wouldn’t do the very expensive stuff on one for my people because my people are the Walmart crowd but when looking at a registry I would never assume to know who the guest list includes. My oldest will likely marry a woman from a very affluent family. Those things would be totally appropriate on her registry and if some aunt or cousins of mine looked at it they might be shocked but it wouldn’t mean there was something inappropriate about it.

I’ve been nothing but a SAHM even though I do have a degree (that’s now totally obsolete almost 30 years later having never been used). When we talk about what I will do when last graduates (in 2 years 😬) he mentions jobs at his employer that he thinks I would be good at. While I might be capable there is no way I could ever be hired for those positions having nothing on my resume but homeschool mom and now I am not even that. It is nonsensical. It’s like he remembers when we met and we were in college and both smart and equals and he forgets he has been building a career all this time (and getting more degrees) and I have been doing nothing but raising a family. I appreciate the sentiment but he is delusional. I can’t even figure out the latest Word updates. I also handle all the financial stuff so he really doesn’t know what things cost either. I know he needs to be more involved in case something happens to me but he likes his head in the sand. So between his ignorance of what things cost and his delusions about my ability to make lots of money we are on much different pages on all of that.

Right. I know 20% is not a requirement. I was just responding to previous posters suggesting it has been a long standing requirement. We have bought houses over 25 years now in much different circumstances each time and it has never been required. It’s usually ideal as in it gets you a better rate and avoids pmi but I often think just getting in at the right time for you personally is more important than a small difference in rate or the PMI payment. We’ve been able to do 20% the last two times and I wouldn’t want to do less again but I don’t regret doing what we had to do to get started with the lower down payments when we did.