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Amy Gen

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About Amy Gen

  • Rank
    Hive Mind Level 4 Worker: Builder Bee
  • Birthday 05/22/1966

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  • Gender
  • Location
    Vallejo, California
  • Interests
    Books, yarn, fabric, kids...

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  1. When I finished chemo, my goal was to get off all medications so I could go back to being the person I was before my cancer diagnosis. I worked with my pharmacist to get a plan for tapering off Gabapintin, but for me, when I got down to taking one every other day, my nerve pain caused by chemo was just too much. So I’m pretty sure that for me it helps pain and anxiety.
  2. Unfortunately this side effect of Gabapintin contributed to my falling and breaking my knee.
  3. I’ve really had a year. I’m trying to put it behind me, but more things keep happening and I can’t get ahead of it. I’m pretty sure I’ve had high anxiety all of my life, but way back when I was a kid, no one knew what it was. They just called me high strung. I started learning more about anxiety as my adult kids started getting diagnosed with it. Then a year ago, I had 5 pulmonary embolisms which led to the discovery of advanced colon cancer. Then I had surgery and was given heparin in recovery and started to bleed out. That was my second near death experience in a week’s t
  4. No, actually I don’t. We collaborate. When they were toddlers, I might have had some rules for safety, but we don’t have power struggles. We don’t have fights. There is no yelling by anyone ever. Maybe there are kids who this wouldn’t work with and that is fine, but in my kids are 5 for 5 for doing well socially, and academically within a framework in which no bending is required. When something isn’t working, we brainstorm. We agree to try something. We reassess. We agree again. I don’t punish, and my kids don’t ever have cause to lie to me or hide things from me. I choose
  5. I think we just disagree. I don’t ever think it is my kids job to “bend” because I have issues expressing myself or setting boundaries. I don’t want to fight with you. People have a right to parent in ways that I ways in which I would never choose to. And I have a right to say that very different strategies have worked for me.
  6. I’m really having a hard time seeing how this is victim blaming. Yes, it would be bad if I constantly did everything and felt like I couldn’t tell him to pull his own weight, but that is why I specifically said, “The scale isn’t even slightly tipped in my favor.” Of course it would be different if that wasn’t the case. That is why I specified that it is the case in our marriage. I have no problem standing up for myself and standing up for others. I am quite assertive in real life, so for me, it is a very good practice to stop being so bossy for a moment and realize that if I want hea
  7. I think we are technically north bay but close to inner east bay. I feel like there will be foreclosures when when everyone’s mortgage forbearance ends. It will depend on how Dh is feeling about his job here if we decide prices have come down enough to buy or if we go back to Texas.
  8. I’m hoping that people want to move to Texas because I want to list our house on acreage there. We finally decided that even if we move back, we would want to live closer in. Then I’d love it if houses here in California had a bit of a price drop.
  9. This has been such a helpful and timely thread for me. The minor children I still have at home are great at cleaning and helping out with anything I need, but I have 2 adult children here as well. I have no complaints about how they clean or help out either, but both older kids have had horrible roommate situations. Everyone is hopeful and excited when they move in with their closest friend then not only does the living situation blow up, but also the friendship is over too, not just dissolving away but with blow ups and sometimes retaliation. Wow! That is a shock, but as p
  10. One day, my mom got lost on the freeway going to the DVM and by the time she got there, it was too late to do what she needed to get done there then she had to come home in horrible traffic. She was a wreck when she walked in the door, which I think is pretty understandable. My 2.5 year old was happily playing in her toy kitchen when my mom came in, and my mom started yelling at her about picking up her fake food and pots and pans. My kid hadn’t been asked to pick up, she wasn’t doing anything wrong at all except existing in the wrong place at the wrong time. That was the moment when
  11. I grew up with a mom with pretty strong generalized anxiety. (my dad has pretty bad anxiety too, but it manifests more with his own rituals and rules whereas my mom's was pretty strictly about the house). I’m old, so we didn’t understand back when I was a kid that anxiety was what our parents were dealing with. They just seemed like impatient perfectionists. My sister can do a pretty good impression of my dad yelling at us when he was driving because a can or bottle was rolling around on the floor. With my 2021 eyes, I can recognize that his anxiety was ramped up with driving in
  12. Whenever we went to camp or visited grandma for weekend, our mom would “organize” our rooms which consisted of going through all of our things, reading our journals and letters from friends, throwing out anything she didn’t want, and sometimes even painting our rooms what she claimed were our favorite colors. She got into almost physical fights with my teenage brother over whether or not the way he combed his hair made him “look like an idiot”. I’m sure no one on these boards is that extreme, nevertheless my mother really believed she was just doing her best parenting and was never aware
  13. YES. I literally have happy dreams about finding dolls and toys in attics and at garage sales and in thrift shops. I love quilts, too! My happy dream is moving into a new-to-me old house, I keep finding new rooms and dolls and dollhouses in the closets. I really don’t think I ever became a grownup and it is way too late to start now.
  14. I want to come shopping at y’all’s houses. I love china and quilts (not the polyester ones though) and heavy antiques and dollhouses and all toys. I’m not a super big fan of rusty nails though, or anything broken, so I’ll leave those for the next person. I’m just thoughtful that way.
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