Amy Gen
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1,270 ExcellentAbout Amy Gen
- Birthday 05/22/1966
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Gender
Female
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Location
Vallejo, California
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Interests
Books, yarn, fabric, kids...
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I feel bad because our school district bought a giant warehouse of Covid test kits. I’m supposed to send home 2 with each student every week. The problem is that the parents don’t want anymore. I even give out blow pops to the kids who will take home Covid tests. I still have test kits in my car, in my living room, and in my kitchen. This is after I’ve snuck a few loads into the school dumpster. I’ve asked if my pharmacy could take them, I’ve asked Goodwill if they will take them, I’ve even brought them to church to see if the older people there wanted some. The people in my area are not interested in testing any more at all.
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After avoiding Covid for all of these years, I tested positive on Christmas Eve. I’m disappointed. I just got another booster at Thanksgiving to try to avoid this, but teaching elementary school, I’m just bathing in germs all day long. I’m hoping to have a mild case and to feel better soon.
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I haven’t had contact with her in decades. On Sunday, my sister said mom was calling for me. I called her and even though she had not been able to talk for several days, she was sure trying to communicate. We made out “I’m sorry”, “Have a good life” and “I love you.” I told her that her work on Earth was finished and it was time for her to rest. I told her that the children were all fine and her genetics and her creativity would live on in them. I told her that everyone loved her and she had no worries left. Now I’m at work, and the tears are trying to start.
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I’m a little bit past this stage since I’m 56, but I still have a 16 year old and a 12 year old at home. When I was at the height of my stuckness and discontentment, I started setting some boundaries with my family. The first one was that I quit cooking on weekends. I told the family that dad could cook or they could get takeout or buy frozen food or eat cup of noodles or starve, but I spent almost 30 years making three meals a day from scratch for a family of 7 including one celiac, one vegetarian and 2 very picky kids. Then I really thought about what would make me fulfilled. For me, it was going back to teaching in my neighborhood title 1 elementary school. It is such hard work. I burn over 900 calories in a school day. Yesterday, I cried in my classroom after the kids left because I wish I had done better that day, but it really makes me happy. I look forward to school when the alarm goes off at 5:00 am. I know this week, I have a bunch of meetings, and will probably not leave before 6:00pm all week. I know that $57,000 a year is no where near enough for how hard I work, but my husband did the math, and since I’m just putting my salary in savings, both of our youngest daughters can go to college in Malibu without his needing to sell stock or dip into retirement money, so he is happy to take over now all of the cooking and grocery shopping and doctor and therapy appointments. My 16 year old is doing all of her high school classes at the community college and my 12 year old attends a private online school. My 28 year old daughter lives across the country, but she helps my 12 year old with all of her school work. So we are technically still homeschooling, but I’m not doing any of the teaching. I really think the solution is so different for different people, but I knew that if I didn’t make a change for myself, I’d start throwing pitchers too! I feel so bad for you because you are in limbo, and nothing is more frustrating to me. Hang in there! I hope you find something more fulfilling soon!
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We don’t have year round schooling, but I met the afternoon school coordinator today, and I’ll probably stay an hour after school to do some extra help, plus teach summer school, so I can encourage my parents to let me have an extra month with my students to really make sure they are ready for second grade. Also, during the summer, I want a chance to work with the older kids on some art projects. I love the idea of wordless picture books. My oldest was obsessed with “Good Dog, Carl”, it is the only thing in her life that she refused to share! I’m excited about ordering from scholastic. I can still feel the thrill of taking home my new books when the orders came in. I’ve never heard of First Book Marketplace, but I will definitely check that out. I agree about read aloud books staying in the classroom. I have a tall shelf behind my desk for my personal books. I bought a few from my childhood that I don’t still own, because I want to share the books that were my best friends when I was their age. But I will be fine with their not returning a book from the borrow basket, because that means that they no longer come from a home without books. I do have an account with TPT. In fact, I bought some room decor so I can have a completely bespoke classroom. I’m obsessed with the idea of displaying the book a day down the hallway, and my hallway looks exactly like that one! Is it just color copies of the covers and then reduce the size? Wow! Thank you for the list of books about math topics! I’m going to send that list to the school librarian ans see if she can get some for the library. Also, my custodian told me that there is a bar down the street that will sponsor a classroom if I go talk to them. I can show them the books I want and they will donate proceeds from poker games and such to my class. I appreciate all of the great ideas. Thank you for sharing my joy with me.
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Thank you! Amelia Bedelia is a great suggestion which is not on my list. Thanks for the game suggestions too.I’m pretty adept at designing games for any learning goal. I have 2 weeks set aside to do nothing but make games for as much of the year I can before my students arrive, but it is time saver to use games which I don’t have to make myself!
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After 2 years of struggling with my health, I feel mostly recovered. My psychiatrist has gotten my meds in a good balance, and he asked a colleague to be my therapist, which is helping too. My 12 year old with PTSD from my near death experiences, is on meds and we are seeing her therapist together. She said that she feels like both are really helping. I have been having a hard time deciding what I want to do with the “extra innings” I’ve been given. I didn’t know how to plan for the rest of my life. I may have a completely cancer-free long life, or I may get a recurrence at any time, and my cancer was so aggressive that I probably wouldn’t have much time left if that happens. Finally, I realized there was one thing that would make me happy no matter if my remaining time is short or long. It is what I have been passionate about since I was in elementary school. It is what I got my degree in. It is what got derailed 28 years ago when I had a child with Autism and multiple learning disabilities, and knew I needed to focus all of my energy on her education. I am teaching first grade at a title 1 school 3 blocks from my house! You can not believe how happy it makes me to have this opportunity to do what I love, for kids who have not been as privileged as my own children, and to be in my own neighborhood which I am already very involved with. My therapy has focused on not putting other people’s wants above my needs. Isn’t this a weird thing to choose to be selfish about? One thing I know for sure is that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life picking up after other people and cooking three meals a day from scratch. My husband is working from home, and my youngest kids are 15 and 12. It is time for them to learn to spend part of each day without momma being at their beck and call. Now the important part of this post, my school has only 13% of kids reading on grade level and 8% on grade level for math. One of my first priorities is sharing my love of books. I’m going thrifting this week to fill a basket with 50 cent children’s books they can borrow and take home and if even keep if they want too. My other goal is to focus on a different author or illustrator each week. Help me brainstorm high-interest authors to spotlight. I haven’t thought of enough to fill every week of the school year. I don’t want them continuing to think reading is just leveled stories from their reading textbooks! Thanks!
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We have already put two of our kids through college, so I have learned quite a bit about what I value in a school and what I would prefer to avoid. I think the pressure is really high on kids going to public and private schools and getting ready for AP exams this week while keeping up at swim and in all of their other classes. My daughter has a much more flexible schedule and I’m still able to prioritize her getting enough sleep and healthy food and exercise. That is more of a struggle for her friends. I don’t really see the issue with the head of admissions telling me what their particular school looks for in applications, and what their admissions committee would find lacking in our kids’ applications. I do think it would be misleading to say that every kid applying to college needs an outstanding service project to be accepted anywhere. We know that isn’t true. But a private, Christian college may put more weight on component. As far as having a dream school, there are many reasons why this is our first choice. First, it is only 5 hours from home. I’ve had kids across the country for school, and I prefer to be closer. Secondly, in the 70s my uncle was hired there. He wanted to combine the spiritual support and growth he received at his private Christian college where he did his undergraduate degree with the academic rigor he encountered at University of Texas Law School. He is approaching 90years old now and is still a chancellor there. Also his kids work in different departments of the university so my kids would be away from home but still have family around them who would attend their swim meets and take them to church and family dinners. I also like that the average class size is 13 students to 1 professor. Also, the president of the university has the entire freshman class over to his house for dinner. Professors host student dinners themselves as well. There is a lot to like. So I’m looking at a lot of factors other than just any school that is a good fit and affordable. I’ve spent over 20 years homeschooling my kids, so I want them to have the same support and academic quality in their university experience as well. We used to have a therapeutic horse riding facility on our street. My older kids volunteered there and ended up with over 350 volunteer hours by the time that they graduated. They had time to do this because they weren’t swimming competitively every day. They didn’t do it to look good on a transcript but because that is their value system. I agree that volunteering to be volunteering is not helpful at all. But taking a hard look at your privilege and deciding to create an opportunity for other kids to have a tiny bit more equality can’t be a bad thing, particularly for spoiled teens!
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Thank you so much! I will check that out today!
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Last summer, we took my 15 year old and her best friend to tour colleges. At their dream school, we got to meet with the head of admissions who told the girls that they have the grades and the extracurricular activities needed for their applications, but they really needed a good service project. As I’m sure you know, some high schoolers already have over full schedules. My daughter swims in the morning, takes her classes at the community college, works as a lifeguard and swim instructor and then swims for another two hours in the evening. Both girls have weekends already full with swim meets. But they have an idea… We live in perhaps the most ethnically diverse city in the nation. Their is a huge gap in wealth in our community. Our girls know that they are super privileged in areas like getting cars for their 16th birthday and going to Disney several times a year, while their are children around them who never even get the opportunity to learn how to swim. Their idea is to start a fund and raise money for diversity in USA swimming. The money would be spent by paying for swim lessons for kids in the community who qualify for free or reduced lunch, have an IEP or write a letter outlining their particular hardship. The girls would hold several fundraisers and visit schools to get families interested in the program, and give talks at various functions in town to inspire clubs to donate. After they go to college, younger swimmers could take over the fundraising, but our kids would still have their names on the literature as having founded the foundation. They are stuck on giving this project a perfect name. They don’t want anything cutesy like “Just Keep Swimming”, and they don’t want anything in the name that could be stigmatizing line “Hardship” or even “Diversity.” Who is good at naming projects like this? In other news, my psychiatrist added Wellbutrin to my Lexapro and Buspar. By the second day, I felt great! So guess what I did this week? I got a job! I’ll be teaching first grade at our neighborhood school, and actually be able to walk to work. I thought principals might look askance at my 28 years out of the workforce, but I was just relaxed and completely myself during the interviews and the various schools were fighting over who was going to hire me. I’m so excited for this new chapter in my life.
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Two out of three of my adult kids have signed papers giving me permission to talk to their doctors. I made sure I released my medical information with them as well. It has made things much easier to get them help when they need it.
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I went no contact with my mom 25 years ago, and it is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Honestly, I think the only reason I let it go on so long was fear of the blow up that confronting her would result in. There is a pattern of sibling rivalry in my mom’s family. You know where one kid is the good one and another has no redeeming qualities? Her trauma from growing up with this dynamic created a situation where my sister felt threatened by my existence. She bullied me my entire childhood. It is weird, because as soon as we became teenagers and got away from my mom, she was filled with so much regret and guilt about how she behaved. She was just a kid fulfilling her assigned role in the family. We have been very close since she apologized. I got through a very challenging childhood by telling myself I would choose differently. My children would have a stable family. My children would be close and loving to each other. I would build a lasting marriage. By the time I was 5, I was noticing who had the kind of life I wanted as an adult, and analyzed what choices I would have to make to get that. I’m a pretty forgiving person. I try to see things from the other person’s perspective. I tend to give people another chance until they take advantage one time too often. People can view that as weakness on my part and they are shocked when I have finally have had enough. I gave my mother so many chances, and even allowed her to move in with us after we had married and had our first child. It was stressful because we were always walking on eggshells and she wanted to control every aspect of our lives from what color lipstick I should wear to which of her siblings we were “allowed” to have a relationship with. But I could put up with it until I got pregnant with my son. My mother kept harping on how unfair it was to my oldest to have another child. She really does believe that love is finite. And she would tell my 1 year old daughter to tell my husband that she loved Granny more than him. She constantly tried to encourage me to be disrespectful to my husband and would throw a fit when I refused. I absolutely would not allow her to recreate the chaos of her life all over again with my family. I had worked too hard to make different choices. How could I allow her to steal our reward for all of that work? So my husband and I called a family meeting. We let her talk first. We did not interrupt her. When it was our turn to talk, she didn’t let my husband get one sentence out before she started screaming at him. I stood up and said, “This meeting is over. You have 90 days to find another place to live.” I won’t go into that 90 days, but I ended up moving myself and kids into a hotel to keep them away from her venom. I ended up having to get the police to get her out of my house. But she kept coming back until my sister flew across the country and told her she could leave us alone, or she could lose another child. The bad news is that my decision caused me to lose many close relationships. She tried to poison everyone against me, but I wouldn’t do the same to her. When person after person cut me off, I told myself that if they didn’t know my innate generous and forgiving nature, we didn’t have much of a relationship to lose. My husband expected that one day we would reconcile. I never thought that. People tell me how much I will regret my decision when she dies. I know I won’t. People ask me what kind of child treats their mother that way? I have children. I know how much they want to love their parents despite their flaws. What kind of mother was she that I feel nothing but relief by being away from her. I refuse to accept the blame. I broke the cycle of family trauma. My children adore each other and my marriage remains very happy decades later. My kids have modeled themselves after me. They refuse to be passive. They refuse to allow anyone to disrespect them. They stand up for their rights and the rights of others. They don’t care if people judge them or disagree with their decisions. We have experienced tragedy from floods and cancer and miscarriages, but we withstand them as a united force. They make our bonds even tighter. I won’t lie. It was incredibly hard to go through, but the rewards have been so worth it. Am I bitter about what she put me through? Sometimes, but I remind myself that living well is the best revenge, and no one is worth sacrificing my marriage and children for. OP, I’m so sorry you are facing this decision. If the person made mistakes. If the person can take responsibility and apologize like my sister did, you might be able to forgive, start again and end up really treasuring the relationship. If the person will never change, the sooner you can get away the better.
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Definitely interesting for high schoolers
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https://shop.strangersguide.com/category/bundles/ I subscribed to this magazine, and my kids really love it. The translations are as close as possible to the native language. It would be a great gift idea for the person who has everything. I’ve shared before about my 12 year old who was diagnosed with PTSD. I wanted to give her a little extra school work because I have been so sick in recent years. I am still her school of record, but I signed her up for 3 classes at this online private school. https://laurelsprings.com/about/why-laurel-springs/ I LOVE it! I wish I had found it sooner. The lessons are extremely high quality, and it is self paced. So my kid has been having trouble keeping up with the suggested schedule. During teacher conferences, I explained what was going on, and every single teacher told me that her work is excellent, so put my priorities on her sleep and exercise and mental health, and they will give her as many extensions as she needs. I thought this might be a good option for families who are looking for an alternative to public school.