Memories become stronger by repeatedly recalling the event - that's why studying the same thing a little each day helps you to learn. I remind my complainer that the thing that they repeat over and over is the thing that they are going to remember. It doesn't always work, alas.

There's no way to be behind in science in middle school, since there isn't any particular set of material that they must build on (unlike math and writing). There is all sorts of science reading or hands-on science that they could do that they might enjoy. If you just feel like you need to get some basic understanding, you could use the Science Detectives workbooks from The Critical Thinking Company. It's a simple read-and-answer-the-questions format, but it's organized by topic and is well done.

I haven't met any families who do the same curriculum for the entirety of their kid's schooling, particularly if they are using an all-in-one. I have a senior and a freshman, and I've had some things that we did for many years, some things that I knew wouldn't work after a few weeks, and some that I did with one kid but not the other. I have a friend whose (now grown) kids had great success with Sonlight for their history/geography. It was a fantastic fit for their family. My older read many Sonlight books for fun, but I found that the intended grade level mattered. My kid was an advanced reader and often read books above grade level, and some of the books were too intense, although they would likely have been fine when kid was the age that the book was written for. My older also really struggled with the idea of learning history through fiction, because kid couldn't figure out what parts were real and what parts were fiction.

We have a Flex - 6'4 spouse has no problem driving and my over 6' kid has no problem in the middle row. You can lay down both 3rd row seats or one third row and 1 second row if that shape is better. They quit making Flexes a few years ago but you might find a used one if it would fit your needs. We have 2 - mine will be 15 in the fall and spouse got one when we needed to replace a car and learned that they were going to quit making it. It drives more like a car than a minivan so I wanted to make sure that I had one as long as I needed a mom-mobile. It may be hard to find a good used one, but it's probably not attractive to thieves so there's that. 🙂 Older kid drives an Escape and has no problem sitting in the front or back. It's not big enough for your needs, but one of their bigger vehicles might work. We got on a Ford kick because the dealer here is easy to work with, but the fact that we've had no problems fitting my tall people in a couple of different models is also a plus - when I met spouse he drove with the seat very reclined because he didn't fit in his car properly.

Even with a lot of family, it only took 30 minutes to get the post-wedding pics at my wedding years ago. I've seen it done both ways - to add people to each pic, starting with bride and groom, then add parents, then add siblings, then have groom step out and get just parents and kids, then add groom back and add long-term relationships, then add boyfriend, and maybe have parents step out and get one of sibs plus partners with and without boyfriend. Getting with and without adds under a minute per group. Or boyfriend and daughter may not want to include him, so just put him in one 'all attendees' shot. There aren't that many combos with a small group. Or you could start with everybody, and then pull people out so that you end with just the bride and groom. We did this because we had little kids in the wedding and needed to get them finished and off to the food. One of my parents has 4 siblings, and for years at every event they'd get a pic of just the adult sibs and their parents, and then one with spouses.

Our music teacher didn't start with a harsh policy - we got a new one after several years. I read it and asked what had happened and she replied 'Y'all are fine'. Shed just had a bunch of flaky people all at once. Neither she nor I would quibble over the cost of the single lesson that we cancel or reschedule each year, but for some families it was constant.

Our teacher is more casual - she charges by the lesson, so that if she plans to not have one the first week of May so that she can go to her kids field day at school or whatever then she can. We aren't guaranteed a certain number of lessons each month. At least 1-2 times each year she reschedules or cancels for something like this. Some months have 4 lessons, others just 2. She takes off 2 weeks after school lets out each May, and 3 weeks at Christmas. Her schedule aligns well with what local schools and sports are doing so I have no complaints. On the first of each month, she tells us how many lessons that month will have and we pay per lesson. In our case, on the rare occasion that we have a conflict, she applies the money as a credit to the next month even though her policy, which is harshly worded, says she doesn't. I'd also be fine with something less flexible - we do other activities that are pay by the month. But, then she'd lose her flexibility too. I think its just reciprocity it for always being willing to switch days or times if we can help her out. She also teaches out of her home, so having a 30 min block of time isn't the waste that it is for someone renting space.

My kids have done private lessons for sports and music, and dealing with flaky no-show parents has been a challenge - one coach said that it was the push that finally got him to retire. Our music teacher has 'studio rules' that sound pretty draconian - you pay whether you come or not, cancel by a certain time that day, must make-up within certain time period, etc. But, she only enforces it on flaky parents. She never charges when we go on vacation during the school year or have to miss for some reason, she'll do a zoom lesson if kid is sick but not too sick to play, etc. But, other than summer when everything is flexible, we only cancel/reschedule something 1-2 times a year, if that. We've taken for 10 years and probably haven't had to adjust a non-summer lesson a dozen times. And we've moved times and days when she needs to reschedule, too.

We have done all of the above on busy nights. Like Bootsie said, though, when I was aiming for quick with little kids, 'snack suppers' were a favorite. A platter of cut up fruits or veggies, some cheese cubes, and crackers...or even stove-popped popcorn (which is crazy cheap to make). Or I'd make a parfait - yogurt and fruit layered in a cup and topped with cereal (usually granola, but cheerios would work). Or a smoothie - fruit, yogurt, and milk in the blender. Grilled cheese and canned tomato soup, bagel halves with pizza toppings that include onion and peppers, Eggs, peppers, onion, and canned black beans in a tortilla...I throw peppers and onions into lots of stuff to add veggies. In a pinch, both can be bought chopped and frozen.

A lot of this varies as the kids get older and the intensity of activities changes. We've always had one co-op day - a 1/2 day in K, 8-3 for 1-8th, and then varied in high school. In elementary school, I let the kids have 2 activities each. One was an 'active activity' - an in-season sport for older, younger varied between dance, sport, and eventually martial arts. The other activity was scouts for older and music lessons for younger. Scouts and music were once/week, and the active activity varied from 1-3 days/week. We always have church on Sunday and, depending on the year, midweek class/music through elementary school (varied once they reached youth age in 6th). Once they got to 5th grade, they added Science Olympiad, which practices several hours on Fridays from Dec-March. Some of these were evening activities, some were during the day with homeschoolers, and several involved the occasional weekend. Once middle and high school happened, sports was a much bigger commitment. Many weekends are involved, and sometimes private lessons. Each kid chose 1 sport (although younger still does martial arts too) and practices and conditioning are almost year-round, with a school and club season of games. The Science Olympiad teams have had success - our team won our state and traveled to Nationals twice with older and younger will get to go this year. To some this is a crazy level of busy and to others it's not so much, but it has worked well for our family. They have a lot of say in what they do, and I can vary my level of involvement if needed. For some things, I'm actively involved - helping to coach Science Olympiad, for instance. For others, I wait in the car and get other things done. During some practices, I get my grocery shopping done or grade papers. I'm always game to help and keep the book or online stat program for many sport events - I do it to help and because I know how, but if you wanted to you could use it as an excuse to get people to leave you alone to focus (I don't, but some people do). My kids have very different socialization needs. My older was mostly content to do the extracurriculars and the occasional co-op teen event, but as a senior kid often goes out to eat with teammates. Younger has always wanted to be around people, and summer has frequent friend visits or overnights with certain very close friends. When the kids were young, I tried to make sure that we had either a morning or afternoon block of time every day except co-op day to get work done. As they got older, I could leave one home or work in the car with them while the other was at their activity. Once older could drive, it was a whole different world. Kid now goes to the library to study, or goes to a DE class, or out with friend, or... Some of these activities were just things to do, and others have given the kids a chance to get to know some other kids really well. There is overlap between our co-op and science team, and between co-op and younger's sports team, and seeing the same kids multiple days a week has been a bonus.

My understanding is that it was agreed that he could stay for a few weeks/months, and everybody would have been OK with him using the facilities in the house for that time. However, after 18 months, drug issues, and friends that concern them, they are not OK with all of that happening in the house. I can understand that - I would not be Ok with somebody who is on drugs coming in and out of my house while I sleep even though I am generally happy to host people for weeks at a time. it seems like there are 2 different issues, both of which could concern them. Agreeing to let somebody stay with you temporarily often does not mean that you'd be Ok with the arrangement for more than a year. And, agreeing to let somebody stay on your property when sober doesn't mean that you are OK with it if they are using drugs. Our church has a large (150-200 people/week) addiction recovery program. I'm not closely affiliated with it, but we sometimes hear stories from people who are being helped. One of the recurring themes is that as long as their basic needs are taken care of there isn't much incentive to change. Sometimes even when they don't have housing or income, it still isn't enough, but many of them seem to need to absolutely have to make a change before they do, and nobody can make the change for them. The autism complicates things like holding down a job, but until the addiction is dealt with I don't think there is much that can be done as far as autism supports. We know a young adult who is on the spectrum and gets a lot of support, but progress is only made because he is willing to take the advice that he is given. If addiction is part of what prevents this adult from doing that, then it may be that it has to be dealt with first. Unfortunately, recovery isn't something that others can do for him.

When my kid prepped for the AP Calc BC exam, we saw that a graphing calculator was on the 'stuff to bring' list. We bought one, but kid had never used one before that. AoPS doesn't require one to work through their books and kid had used that program for much of high school math. So, we went out and got one and kid figured out how to use it. After taking the test, kid said that there was really no need for a calculator if you knew how to math. 🙂 There may have been some arithmetic done on one, but nothing that required graphing. I have my frustrations with AoPS, but I did appreciate that they gave answers in messy forms so that kids didn't get into the habit of punching in everything so that they got answers with decimals with no idea how they got it.

I had a class like that, too, but they gave partial credit. It varies between schools and disciplines, but in my classes and those of most people I know classes tended to be either test with a few problems where partial credit was given or tests with a decent number of questions but no partial credit (often because it was a big class with multiple choice). It was pretty unusual for an intro class to have only 4 questions with no partial credit on a test. But, it was all made more frustrating by the fact that students were teaching themselves with little feedback other than whether their auto-graded homework was right or wrong. You got 3 shots at each homework question, but if you didn't get it in 3 then you didn't get credit and also didn't get an explanation. And there was the test where I'm guessing the program chose questions from a test bank and included a question that wasn't part of the assigned material. This is one of the few issues that the instructor responded to promptly. Then there was the homework (not worth much, but every point counts) that the instructor accidentally had due in a different time zone, so that when students submitted it at 11:01 pm it was scored as late and no credit despite being an hour before the usual due date. Kid emailed the instructor with a time stamped homework but it wasn't changed. I'm not terribly sympathetic to kids complaining about tech glitches, but having one assignment set to a different time zone than everything else for the semester seems like an instructor mistake, not something that students should be expecting It was a situation where no one thing was a huge deal, but it seemed like every glitch penalized the students - when I teach, I try to avoid that.

My older has taken 6 DE classes from 2 CCs and found that variation is huge. 5 of the classes were online due to scheduling difficulty, and even within that group the experience is not the same. In the humanities classes, kid's biggest complaint is that the classes seemed designed to encourage cheating. Texts were online, so it was simple to search the text while taking a quiz if one was inclined to do so. I know that one can do that with a book, but it's easier to copy the unknown term to the search bar than it is to scan 100 pages of textbook. Kid thought 2 of the 3 humanities classes were reasonably OK, and it's hard to say otherwise - Psych 101 is pretty easy at most schools. There was some complaint about a British Lit class - they were assigned a specific version of the text, but the quiz questions sometimes came from online quiz sources that used different versions or translations, such that the term or description wasn't present in the assigned version of the text. Although there were a few deadline issues, it was mostly OK and of the sort that is easy to work with - forgetting to post an assignment, so allowing a few extra days to finish. The online physics and calc 3 were a real challenge. I had worried about the physics lab, but that was actually reasonably done - dropping items or rolling them down inclines can be done at home and is on par with what I remember doing as a student. But, these classes involved a ton of self-teaching, with no book or video lecture (there were little snippet lectures linked to certain homework problems, which could help but gave no context or big picture). The calc class was reasonable, with quick responses from the managing instructor (the course itself was part of a state-wide ecampus program). The midterm and final were taken at the campus testing center. The physics was a real challenge. There was minimal feedback - you could see your grade, but had to ask to even find out what problems you missed on tests. There was no partial credit - on one test kid miscalculated the first part of a problem and subsequently missed the next 2 subparts (done correctly, but using the wrong answer from part 1), so earned a 75%. Despite earning As on every other assignment and test, kid went into the final knowing that if a single question was missed kid would likely earn a B in the class. Kid was incredibly relieved to earn an A, but it seemed absurd that missing 2 questions in a semester (in which there were multiple tests) would be enough to pull your grade to a B. We did think it was good that the homework was self-checking and you had multiple tries to get each question right - it encouraged students to work until they could do most of it. After that, kid decided to take the next physics class in person. Kid has found it to be very well done - much easier and less stress, but mostly because there is actual teaching and ability to ask questions. The instructor has had to make changes to the schedule and syllabus - there was a week of snow closure, and also an event on campus that caused classes to be canceled. It's been handled in a very reasonable way, with some of the lab time being diverted to working problem sets and taking tests, and 2 short labs being done in one lab session. It's all been clearly communicated. The only complaint is that some work isn't graded promptly. There are big problems with unprepared students in classes. My kid has been amazed that in easy classes assignments like 'make a discussion post on the topic, 2 paragraphs of at least 4 sentences each' lead to students writing 1 paragraph, or 2 paragraphs of 2 sentences each, or posts on the wrong topic. But, there are also issues with too much self-teaching being required. My younger kid has taken a couple of Derek Owens math classes, which are online, but involve teaching and reasonably prompt feedback on your work. I recommend those classes to others looking for solid math instruction. I would never recommend that anybody take the online math and physics classes at the CC. I would recommend the in-person class, and would say that, at least for the classes that my kid took, the online humanities was fine - nothing spectacular, but 2 were 100-level classes, and those are usually pretty generic and easy no matter where you take them.

I'm kind of flummoxed by how much drama this thread has stirred up. There are a lot of things that I do and say 'I'm glad I saw that, but I don't have to do it again'. Eclipses fall into that category. That's kind of how I interpreted the title - are there other people who don't find the eclipse to be life-changing? And, I'm guessing there are a decent number who would say 'Yes!'. We were in the totality last time, so it's not like we didn't have the big experience that people are talking about. Even having seen that and thinking it was interesting, I wouldn't go much out of my way to do it again. If it were directly in my yard, sure, and if friends made a fun thing of it then maybe. And for something less than 100%? I probably wouldn't do anything. It's not that we are anti-education or anti-science - spouse and I are both STEM PhDs who have taken the kids to museums and national parks in several states and planned whole trips around it. I understand how much people are fascinated by the eclipse. But, it doesn't crack the top 5 and maybe not the top 20 in terms of 'science things that I found to be really interesting to see in person'. That's not to say that it doesn't fall into that category for other people, but given the choice there are many natural things that I enjoy more. When you get down to it, the amazingness of seeds turning into plants turning into food probably captures my imagination more, and I see it repeatedly every year. We're just wired differently, and that's OK. I wouldn't think twice of somebody posting 'I just don't get why people love gardening!' as a thread, and I know that even if I tried to explain how it feels like a miracle every time I go pick something, if you don't already see it that way I probably couldn't make it make sense.

This is likely field-dependent, but both spouse and I have PhDs without earning a masters of any kind. In our fields, direct entry into PhD programs was common 25 years ago when we did it.

That was mostly not the case here last time. While I wouldn't travel far to see one again, there were more things to see than I expected and it was surreal listening to nature get quiet as if it were night...definitely more than 2 minutes worth of stuff to observe, especially if you had to get kids situated.

It's not really my thing, but the last eclipse was right over us so we went to a party with other families to see it. It was cooler than I thought it would be. But, not so interesting that I'd fly somewhere to see another one. I'd probably be game to drive an hour with friends or something, but not a big road trip with upcharged hotel rates.

In the common app, students enter an email address for the teacher and then the recommender is sent a link. The most recent scholarship recs that I wrote were also submitted directly to the organization or school after I was sent a link. It's pretty rare to give something directly to a student - I did that for a summer job rec recently. I think there was one college a few years ago where a student asked for a rec to be given to the student, but I asked for a link to the school and was able to send it directly there.

I don't have advice, but I don't do well with chronic complaining, either. I do have some anecdotes that shape my thinking - they may or may not be helpful. When I was a teen, I went to a summer music camp and a group of us had an early class. We were complaining, as teens do, and somebody asked the teacher why he was so upbeat. He replied that his job was to be there and teach at 8 am, so he could do it happily or unhappily, but either way he'd be doing it, so he'd prefer to be happy. It was such a small, offhand comment, but it caused a major attitude shift for me. I've read a couple of books about the brain and learning in the course of teaching and learning about memory, and how we reinforce memories by repeating them - it's why studying the same material daily for a week helps you to remember it. So, any negative thought that you repeat over and over becomes more automatically remembered. That was a wake-up call for my class - who wants to program themselves to automatically think negative thoughts? I've got a kid who almost never complains about anything. This kid isn't complacent, and isn't relentlessly upbeat by nature, but doesn't say negative things very often. When I asked, kid said 'I don't like to listen to other people complain, so I don't think that anybody wants to listen to me complain, either.' Kid will share frustrations about things, but that's not really the same as a general attitude of complaint. I do think it's helpful to separate complaining from positivity - you don't have to be positive to not make negative comments. Some people are wired to be upbeat in the face of problems, and despite some people calling it fake or toxic, it really is how they are wired. Likewise, some people always see potential problems or what can go wrong. There's a place for both. But there are also people who complain or make negative comments out of habit...and it's not helpful. And there are those who complain about everything that they don't understand - with those, I sometimes ask 'How would you handle that?' or something similar, because sometimes people don't have a better idea, they are just annoyed by how something affects them. Which I understand, but we are all dealing with things that inconvenience us. Sometimes the complaining is self-centered, and while I can laugh at the occasional self-aware 'Why can't everybody just get out of my way - don't they know I have places to be?' I can get frustrated with people who think that the world would be better if everything was just adjusted to their preferences and priorities since there are always competing interests. When my kids were little, I used to tell them that I wasn't a complaints department so I wanted them to suggest solutions. It was fine to share frustrating or upsetting situations, but for general issues like It's too hot, I'm so tired, Sally is mean, etc, I told them that either something bothered them enough to suggest a change that we could implement, or it wasn't a big enough problem to warrant a lot of complaining. I have also seen chronic complaining and negativity become toxic in an organization. When every suggestion is met with 'that won't work/that's a dumb idea' instead of 'lets see if we can implement/modify/troubleshoot that' people quit trying to help...and then the complainer, stuck with all of the work, complains even more. I think it probably does the same thing in other situations, but this was so dramatic that I doubt I'll ever forget how bad it can get if the negativity becomes directed at other people and their ideas rather than just life in general. And, unfortunately, if a habit of complaining about life becomes too ingrained, I don't know that people realize when they are crossing the line and complaining about other people in a harmful way.

If your son has actually expressed any interest in this as a career and seems influenced by the ad, I'd take the opposite approach - I'd explore it. I do this with all sorts of things with my kids to help them understand aspects of jobs and activities that a kid wouldn't consider. Would you like being on your own away from home for weeks at a time, and how would being on the road affect relationships, hobbies, etc? Do you want a job with a lot of solitude or would you rather be around people during the day? How would you feel about sleeping in the sleeper compartment of a truck instead of being home with your family? Is this a skill that you can acquire and use locally? Etc. And then I'd say that we should revisit this particular job once kid can drive, because at that point he'll know if he likes driving long distances - some people do, others find it stressful. We also discuss the fact that we do not eliminate entire career paths due to lack of a standard education because interests change and life happens. If one develops vision problems or back pain, then they might not be able to be a truck driver, for instance. A relative was diagnosed with a low blood pressure/stress problem and had to give up a career as an air traffic controller because, obviously, staying conscious is a big deal in that field. So, the job of kids is to learn and equip themselves to be able to take advantage of whatever opportunity makes sense when they are at an age to choose. I think this is mostly an issue because of other family conflict. Otherwise, in many families, it wouldn't be too strange to send a kid a text with something about a career they'd expressed interest in. I had an aunt who was a dentist, and when I expressed interest in that as a kid she shared info about her work and schooling. I ultimately didn't go that route, but she gave advice forever, much of which I ignored because it wasn't helpful for what I ultimately decided to do.

For us, I don't think it's possible to compare costs. Some things might be the same - I'd probably pack lunches for my kids to take to school, and the lunches might be similar in cost to what we eat at home. We would probably drive far less. My kids do several extracurriculars that wouldn't all be possible at school because all of the practices couldn't fit after school. Practices for their extracurriculars would all be at the school, which is convenient, instead of scattered across town in whatever church is letting the homeschool group use their facility to practice. I pay for co-op classes, but I make enough with my teaching to cover education expenses (materials for home-based classes and outsourced classes). I might have been working a normal job during this time, but since our plan is for me to up my volunteer game after the kids are out of the house it's also possible that I would have been the unpaid PTA/homeroom mom during my kids' school years. Clothing costs are likely lower, as is the cost of school supplies. I have not had to do last-minute dioramas, or scour town for a specific size and color of notebook or folder, and that has been priceless. Homeschooling is definitely less expensive than any private school option, but I can't say for sure how it would compare to public school costs. For us it is definitely about opportunity. The kids have had a deeper education that is individualized. They have gotten to do cool things that they couldn't have done in school - some trips, some activities - and to do more things because they aren't constrained to a school schedule. For years, we've had Science Olympiad practice on Fridays for several months each year, and the kids do their school work on Saturday, or Friday night, or they work ahead. My older did at least 1 credit every summer in high school, and did a heavier load in the fall, to lighten the load for spring when Science Olympiad and sport make things busy. Our homeschooling looks different from some on this board, but it has suited our family.

Some denominations have websites stating their official position ( such as https://www.umc.org/en/content/ask-the-umc-what-is-the-united-methodist-position-on-evolution) so if you check several denominations you will find a range of perspectives. I'm not sure what your religious/denomination background knowledge is, but for some groups (Presbyterians, Baptists) there are several different groups within them that can run the gamut from very conservative to very liberal on a number of issues so you might need to pick several. I appreciate an attempt to look at variation - one of my struggles when teaching evolution has been when people ask 'Are you going to teach the Christian perspective?' and I know that there isn't just one Christian perspective. My students run the gamut.

If its rainy, maybe a stew or chili with bread and a salad?

Does the rest of the family expect that you keep your kids home to protect MIL? I ask because, during Covid as people were making decisions, both sets of grandparents told us to do whatever we thought was best for our kids and they, the grandparents, would adapt as they thought best. They did not want the kids' lives disrupted on their account (if we felt that not doing something was best for the kids, that was fine). I seem to remember you posting about other relatives coming around when they had colds and such, so I'm wondering if you are doing a schooling option that you don't really prefer for your family to work towards a health/safety goal that only you have. In the past few years, I've had 3 people in my orbit go through chemo. One of them stayed home from large gatherings but didn't expect others, even their spouse, to, and the other 2 were living life as normally as possible. One organ transplant recipient teaches classes at our co-op. This isn't a judgement or a statement about what is the 'right' or 'good' choice, but just an observation that it wouldn't be unusual for your MIL and family to not expect you to keep your kids home to avoid germs. Again, homeschooling can be great! Staying home to avoid germs can be a family decision. But, in some ways this feels like you are taking on a lot of burdens - homeschooling, avoiding germs, your daughter's time-consuming activity - that aren't all great fits (by your description) and aren't expected by anybody else. It's possible that I'm misreading this situation, but I know that it can get overwhelming to feel like 'I'm doing all of these things that I don't want to do for everybody else!' when there's no appreciation, and I'm wondering if that's happening because nobody realizes why you are doing these things and would never ask you to.