saraha Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 So much @Soror. Survivors guilt is a real thing. I can not even imagine what all of you are going through. You are an amazing mom. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bootsie Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I am so sorry to hear about this. It is indeed tragic. I am glad to hear that your daughter is physically OK, but I am sure that she is emotionally devastated. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I'm so sorry. What a horrible tragedy. Sending you all and bf's family thoughts and prayers. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in IN Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 Soror, I am so sorry, yet so grateful for your daughter's life to be spared. Praying right now for all involved. 💙 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I am so very sorry to hear this - I’m praying for your daughter, and for her boyfriend’s family. My heart hurts for you all…. Anne 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
popmom Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I am so sorry. This is heartbreaking—unimaginable. I am praying for all who are affected. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rebcoola Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I am so sorry and praying for all of you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbgrace Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I'm so sorry. Praying for your daughter as she grieves and processes so much and for both families. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 God, help both of these families. Eternal rest gran unto him. And grant peace to the living to live on for him. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocolate-chip chooky Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 What a heartbreaking tragedy. Thinking of you all 🌻 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I'm so sorry and feel for your daughter, and her boyfriend's family. Hugs and prayers winging your way. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 What? Oh my goodness. Praying for her and for his family. What a horrible tragedy! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted April 24, 2022 Author Share Posted April 24, 2022 (edited) Not a lot of sleep here. DD came to me after 1 crying. We talked about what a great guy he was, her guilt (what if she'd tried to stop the bleeding she was so focused on finding the phone and calling 911- I really don't think she could have done anything- I told her how proud I was of her she did the best possible thing calling them first), his poor family, how she can't stand everyone posting about it half the people don't even know him that well (she's not posted at all as it is disrespectful to her to post something like that on Snap but she sees it all), how horrible it all is. She finally fell asleep with a couple of kittens on her and then when to her bedroom after 2:30 and I finally went to bed and got some sleep. He was going to surprise her for her bday. She never got find out what he was going to do. Her present we guess somewhere in the vehicle. Her wallet as well. We have to wait for the highway patrol to release it. When I called to give mil the update he passed (dh was driving). I was crying and she's all commanding me to calm down my kid is fine. She's such a clueless..... Anything happens to her it's fine she's upset anyone else you are freaking out over nothing. This is why we didn't send her to be with DD at the hospital while we drove back. It would be better to be alone than with her. Dds cousin went. Mil can't even listen to your troubles. Edited April 24, 2022 by Soror 51 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I am so sorry to read about this horrible tragedy. Survivor’s guilt is a real thing and I second Katy’s suggestion re: medication to mitigate the way trauma is memorialized for her. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted April 24, 2022 Author Share Posted April 24, 2022 Oh I did get her to take a painkiller. It took a lot of convincing. They didn't give her anything more than otc at the hospital. If there is any chance that helps later I had to make sure she did. She's just reliving it over and over. I'm cycling through sadness at the tragedy of it, that poor boy and his family, worry over DD going through it and losing him, and the worry it could have been her and guilt she walked away. 30 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristin0713 Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I'm so deeply sorry Soror. Can you get her a therapist that specializes in trauma right away? 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted April 24, 2022 Author Share Posted April 24, 2022 It just occurred to me that forever she'll be associating this with her birthday. 34 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 What an awful, awful thing. I can’t even imagine. 😞 Prayers for you all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted April 24, 2022 Author Share Posted April 24, 2022 49 minutes ago, kristin0713 said: I'm so deeply sorry Soror. Can you get her a therapist that specializes in trauma right away? I'm looking 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 A trauma therapist sounds like a good idea. Such a horrible thing to happen. I’m so sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 Not to add any more worry, @Soror, but please keep a close eye on your DD for any kind of concussion symptoms. I know her CT scan came back clear, but if she was knocked out and this was a rollover accident, I would keep a close eye on her for a while to make sure she is really OK. I probably didn’t even need to mention this because you’re probably already doing that, but because this is such a horrible time, I just wanted to mention it in case you hadn’t thought about it in the middle of everything else that is going on. You should be so proud of your daughter. In the middle of a horrible crisis like that, all she could think of was finding the cell phone phone to call 911 to try to save her boyfriend. She sounds like an amazing and mature girl. 27 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kanin Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 1 hour ago, alisoncooks said: What an awful, awful thing. I can’t even imagine. 😞 Prayers for you all. This. I don't have anything wise to say 😞 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Granny_Weatherwax Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 This is heartbreaking. My condolences to the boy's family and loved ones, including you and your DD. What a tragedy. There was a boardie here, Margaret from CO (?), whose DD lost her fiance in a tragic accident. I wish she were still here as she would probably have greater words of comfort and advice on how to move forward than I do. I'll be thinking of you all and sending thoughts for solace and comfort. 11 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livetoread Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 (edited) It sounds so banal and frivolous in the midst of this awfulness but playing Tetris as soon as possible after the tragedy has also been clearly shown to help mitigate ptsd. I would assume anything that commands focused attention would do the same. I'm horrified for all of you and so, so sorry. Whoops, editing to add, I've just spent a few minutes looking into this claim and I need to say that the claims exceed the actual evidence imo and it is hardly the strong effect some are claiming. So I wouldn't say never mind, but will say it probably wouldn't hurt to help her focus on something besides the memories for periods of time if she can. Edited April 24, 2022 by livetoread 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 When she is able, I highly recommend therapy for PTSD. It helped with mine post car wreck. It didn't cure it, but it made it liveable so I was able to safely resume driving. So many hugs from me to you, your dd, and your whole family minus MIL who I am giving some serious stink eye. 15 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I am so sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 1 hour ago, Soror said: I'm looking If you can find one, look for someone that is certified in EMDR. EMDR is great for any kind of trauma, but it can work wonders in helping with an acute traumatic event like this one. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 How terrible and sad. So sorry! Praying for the boy’s family, for your Dd and for you as you work to help her through this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
73349 Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I'm so sorry. Please reassure her that in training in CPR, disaster response, etc., they tell us to call 911 first. She did *exactly* the right thing. It's just that sometimes nothing anyone can do is enough. 24 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shoeless Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I'm so sorry, @Soror. I wish I had something better to offer than that. When your DD can't hear, have a good cry. There's plenty of loss and trauma to warrant it. (Hug) 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted April 24, 2022 Author Share Posted April 24, 2022 49 minutes ago, Granny_Weatherwax said: This is heartbreaking. My condolences to the boy's family and loved ones, including you and your DD. What a tragedy. There was a boardie here, Margaret from CO (?), whose DD lost her fiance in a tragic accident. I wish she were still here as she would probably have greater words of comfort and advice on how to move forward than I do. I'll be thinking of you all and sending thoughts for solace and comfort. Yes I remember. I can't imagine how it was for them with them. 26 minutes ago, AmandaVT said: If you can find one, look for someone that is certified in EMDR. EMDR is great for any kind of trauma, but it can work wonders in helping with an acute traumatic event like this one. Looking into it 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 (edited) Oh no, Soror. I can't begin to imagine how awful and shocking this is for you and, especially, your daughter. I'm so sorry for everyone involved. Thinking of all of you. Edited April 24, 2022 by Jenny in Florida 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmandaVT Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 3 minutes ago, Soror said: Yes I remember. I can't imagine how it was for them with them. Looking into it PM me if you can't find anyone - I know a few therapists that are EMDR trained and do telemedicine. I believe they all have waitlists, but I may be able to twist some arms for this situation. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 3 hours ago, Soror said: Oh I did get her to take a painkiller. It took a lot of convincing. They didn't give her anything more than otc at the hospital. Codeine. It used to be in cough medicine. It’s one of the painkillers I could safely take without worrying about possible drug allergies. It can be addictive but okay in mild doses for short periods of time. I am an insomniac and my family practitioner gave me a sedative injection when I was 17 so that I could sleep decently for two days, waking up to eat something. I wasn’t able to sleep for about a week and was at the “sleepwalking” stage. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 1 hour ago, AmandaVT said: If you can find one, look for someone that is certified in EMDR. EMDR is great for any kind of trauma, but it can work wonders in helping with an acute traumatic event like this one. I was going to suggest EMDR also. It helped me tremendously after a traumatic event that I kept reliving. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheReader Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 Oh my goodness. I am so very sorry. Praying for your daughter, her boyfriend's family & friends, for you as you care for your dd after such a tragedy....for all of it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Soror Posted April 24, 2022 Author Popular Post Share Posted April 24, 2022 Bf's family invited DD over so she went over a couple of hours. I stayed up the street at cousins house in case she wanted to leave suddenly. She said it gave her some closure. DD was able to tell stepdad and mom details about what happened which helped them and made her feel useful in some small way. They of course reassured her it wasn't her fault in any way. And his mom had her bday gift at their house, he'd planned to give her after they went out to eat. 56 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saraha Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 Hugs to both families 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cintinative Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 Oh my goodness. Praying for you and the boyfriend's family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I'm so sorry. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I’m so sorry, saying a prayer for all involved. In my area hospice has grief counseling for all types of grief. If you aren’t sure where to look for counseling I would check with your local hospice. Even if they can’t help they may be aware of proper resources. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 Definite prayers and support here. We've been/are living this, and it's completely horrible. One suggestion-if you can, be in the room or have someone there and do calls with insurance, etc on speaker. There is just SO much that needs to be managed. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Soror Posted April 24, 2022 Author Popular Post Share Posted April 24, 2022 I'm going to put this up temporarily- this is from a dance a month or so ago. 75 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kassia Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 beautiful picture but so painful to look at now. Again, I am so so very sorry. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyD Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 Oh, what a beautiful couple. This is such a horrible tragedy. My heart goes out to all of you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porque? Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 Heartbreaking. Holding all in my thoughts. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyoffive Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 What a stunning couple. It is so hard to look at now. That was really nice that his family invited her over. And I am glad she went. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkTulip Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 Beautiful photo. Thinking of you and your sweet daughter - praying for all of you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Toocrazy!! Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I didn’t realize they were so young. i’m so so sorry. What an incredibly sad and hard thing for all of you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Just Kate Posted April 24, 2022 Share Posted April 24, 2022 I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what else to say, so please just know that I am praying for your family and your daughter’s boyfriend’s family. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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