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Murphy101

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Everything posted by Murphy101

  1. Because Inquiring Minds want to know! Anyone else remember those ADs?! It’s the blasted Pentaveret to blame for poor Kate. I know it is bc I read it in the Weekly World News, which has FACTS and over 10 million subscribers.
  2. rarely was it all day. Except in cities. I would rephrase that to they had different pollution. Average families of the cities during early industrial times? Idk about that. I think the problem is different but still a problem. While back then the pollutants where easy to see what with the black smoke stacks and colored or weird smelling water - that we have managed to make things prettier doesn’t necessarily mean it’s less polluted. But the one thing I know to be fact is never question that things can indeed be worse.
  3. Though honestly they mistake focus with entertained and end up with unreasonable expectations. Most teens and adults deeply focus best in 20 minute intervals. Maybe 30 minutes. But after that their focus starts to wain. So while they might continue to make the effort, they’d probably study better if they stopped after 20-30 minutes to do something else and then come back to it in 30 minutes.
  4. So take that info and combine it with the digital dungeon affect when most school work is online and most “social” interaction is online and work from home scenarios - so that dynamic means they are enduring the same unresolved pollution issues of 15 years ago, but enduring it in an extended concentrated manner.
  5. But again. Messing with them - why? Just for funzies? Okaaay. Sure people often and understandably go a bit wackado when in marriage crisis but I’m 100% confident that if she wanted to mess with the family or mess the family over - she could do better at it by saying one sentence than by sending this photo.
  6. To what purpose? Is there a hidden message we need to decipher? I think it’s more likely it was something she was working on and hadn’t finished and someone else used it without paying much attention to details. idk. That’s what I know. Idk. 🤷‍♀️ I think it’s all weird. I think it’s sad if she's been having to fake that the family her and William have made together is built on sand instead of solid ground. Or that the family is fine but she very much isn’t. Or maybe worse. That she really did believe they were solid and had her world turned upside down when she found out it wasn’t. But really that’s also unfortunately normal life too. Being Royal and wealthy and beautiful doesn’t protect from that happening. If anything it makes it more likely.
  7. Meh. Make no mistake people were pretty good at getting crazier without any excuses long before this.
  8. It’s possible they scheduled something they thought they had time to address and then things worsen and the surgery couldn’t wait. It happens. Frequently actually.
  9. It just shows a shadowy looking area on his upper jaw. Could be bruise. Could be shadow. 🤷‍♀️ I have a hard time believing he’d go out with an obvious black eye and bruise. I mean. These people have money and means to get makeup to cover that? But then again. The weird photo shop doesn’t make sense either.
  10. Ugh. I once had someone comment that my kids were going to be “behind” bc other kids were learning how to make power points in 4th grade. To which I responded, Do you know what computer the people who invented computers used? The people who invented nearly all our tech didn’t have any of it as kids. Also. If a 4th grade can make a power point, I’m confident that if they aren’t obsolete (which would be for the better) when my kids are teens or adults - then as an adult I’m sure they will be able to learn it. Since the entire premise of tech is that it is supposed to be a tool that makes it easier to do something.
  11. The supposedly most successful people tend to send their kids to very expensive private schools that also tend to be very low tech. The more successful in technology parents, the more likely this is true. I don’t think we need to send teens to Amish schools, but I do think tech should be far more narrow in scope of use and doesn’t replace actual in hand materials and teaching of a teacher.
  12. I’m so sorry. It’s so hard to see teens and young adult struggle with mental illness. Depression is such a unaffecting word. So is “brain fog”. They sound so… trivial. It sounds like someone saying, “Hey, today’s brain forecast is some midday fog and mostly cloudy with a chance of tears - so take some meds with you today and don’t forget your smile!” We need some kind of better more emphatic descriptive language for how difficult this illness is.
  13. There is so much to address in this post that I could write a clinical paper for it all. Firstly. Like Faith-Manor said, the bulk of the foundational skills needed to accept, understand, and execute the help you describe here is built primarily before age 7 and often much of that foundation is starting to settle or firm up by age 12/14. Now that does NOT mean it isn’t possible for high schoolers or even adults to manage to build up that foundation later. But it DOES mean that the foundation needs a lot of scaffolding to build it during that time. And it DOES mean that those people are going to have 2-3x the work bc effort to manage building foundation AND also at the same time accept, understand and execute that help. It’s like trying to build a house frame while still pouring foundation. Is it possible? Yes. Is it hella harder and more prone to falling apart? Absolutely. As though that’s not enough, don’t forget that nature decides to slap on some fresh hot puberty to deal with too. Actually this is normal for teen development. Up to age 12/14, kids are expanding their world and learning by exponents. At about that age though most kids start to narrow their interests. And a lot of that process is eliminations. They become less interested in their nuclear world and more interested in where they fit in the bigger world. And a huge part of that is the internet and peers. While you are different people, you do not have different brains. “Kids today” are not some new species of human. I 100% agree with you about the digital overload being a problem more than it’s a solution at these ages. Far too often I see “figure it out (online)” as nothing more than a teacher who can’t or won’t teach and then gets upset when students and parents don’t value them as teachers. Absolutely. The same teachers who struggle with how to use the same chrome books their students have and still think teaching via death by power point is “dynamic teaching with technology” will be the same teacher that ironically can’t grasp that their students can’t and shouldn’t have to sift through the ocean depths of the World Wide Web to discern what is useful and creditable towards answering their questions in a way they understand by end of class tomorrow. And I think it’s because of this insidious presumption that “kids today have different brains/are different”. No. They are not. in more ways than not, kids today are not much different from kids 50 years ago. What’s different is the environment adults have created for students to try to navigate.
  14. I’m not so much offended as just irked. But hey. We figured this out. 😁 Side topic. I think “figure it out on your own” is just another way of saying “f around and find out”. While it often does result in finding out, most people don’t think it the best first go-to option. I have no idea how often I or some other parent has thought, “oh they can figure it out.” And we weren’t wrong. They did indeed figure out a new way to do something wrongly that we really didn’t expect them think of.🙃
  15. Oh I just can’t even. Nearly all my closest friends have kids in school. When the schools get rid of the chrome books and stop sending literally dozen of text messages and emails a day to parents (who one presumes most are at work) then they can complain about parents trying to stay in touch with their kids. That’s not even getting into how violent schools have become and all the anxiety of that.
  16. 🤦‍♀️ Maybe get context before presuming I’m for teaching learned helplessness then. Oh good grief. I didn’t assume anything. She literally called my post out as some kind of learned helplessness even though she didn’t bother to read the context of my post. And I get being taken aback by it. I think we all forget how many first times we have had until we are suddenly reminded of stuff like, “oh yeah someone had to explain combination locks to me once too.” BUT. I cannot stress enough how much a scenario like this lock scenario you describe has absolutely completely nothing to do with how smart or diligent a kid is. Nothing. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if the smartest, hard working-est and most figure it out-est person in the world did the very same thing. Me too. Life is hard enough.
  17. What the hecken. If a parent sees or hears that a kid doesn’t know how to use a combination lock and the parent thinks they should know how to use a combination lock - then for crying out loud - look right there is the people the kid needs to figure it out!!! But they are too dang busy trashing all the reasons the kid is failing at learning the basic task instead of just helping them figure it out. The kids should ask an upperclassman, a teacher, google it - well yeah but you are standing right there able to help and doing nothing, so why would the kid expect anyone else to help?
  18. Amen. This. Every day on this board alone people post all kinds of problems that they are struggling to figure out. They are posting bc they aren’t figuring it out on their own! And there’s no shame in that at all. Because none of us are getting by on our own. A ridiculously harsh thread about, of all things, how awful it is if teens don’t know how to use a combination lock and therefore aren’t using their locker. I shouldn’t have bothered to post on it. Yes. I am a figure it out person. Because I’ve had no choice most of the time. And the result of that is there is a LOT I didn’t figure out until it was too late to be of any use to me. This is a major reason hindsight is 20/20. Which is utterly unhelpful when one needs it. And there’s a lot, especially as I get older, that frankly isn’t worth my time to figure out. So I can understand a stressed out time crunched teen deciding a combination lock isn’t worth their mental energy and they’ll just not use the locker. We can harp that teens today are just too lazy or stupid or uneducated or badly parented or must have some learning problem or disability to figure out a combination lock - OR - and I’m only suggesting that *maybe* we could just kindly show them how to use the blasted lock and leave all that other baggage at the curb for trash pick up instead of insisting the next generation carry it. I mean if one is that invested in the tragic lack of combination lock use at lockers by teens - just showing them how to use the lock seems the most direct solution. If some people have never needed their hand held through simple tasks to figure it out - then I’m truly happy for them. But the truth is that almost everyone repeatedly does at times in life for lots of reasons that have nothing to do with intelligence or diligence. And it’s no fair at all that those times in life also tend to be the same times when they are the least likely to feel able to ask for help. I am forever blessed and grateful to those who have helped me figure out dumb stuff without me having to also figure out how to ask them for it.
  19. 1) It should come as no shock that most people of any age do not like doing things they think are bothersome. 2) It should come as no shock that most people do not practice much of anything with their kids. Communication is hard. And that brings us back to #1 3) I personally dislike the phrase “let them figure it out” bc frankly I see a world more full of people struggling than actually figuring anything out. Myself included. People do not just miraculously know about things and how things work. And, again, communication is hard, and no one likes to feel stupid so they don’t ask the questions needed to “figure it out.”
  20. Back in the early 90s. Almost no one used lockers at my school bc we had 5 minutes to get between classes and it was just more stress to deal with lockers than just keep your stuff with you. But I absolutely could use the locks.
  21. Agreed. I’m just saying that it is possible to build better buildings for the given environment.
  22. And we can reduce the risks of living but we can’t eliminate it. I’m not encouraging buildings that will regularly leave them without water. We could consider better building and water systems. I’m not talking unused tracts. There’s a LOT of area in many cities that is going vacant. Zoning codes could be adjusted to accommodate options that weren’t an option previously for those places. But … yeah there’s lots of land here too. The problem is t that there isn’t property to repurposed or reasoned. It’s that certain economic holders refuse to accept having diverse economic people living around them. K🤷‍♀️
  23. if we are talking straight housing costs - it’s always cheaper to go up. My same 2 story house in square footage built as a 1 story would more than double the cost. Yes. Well. Natural disasters are… disasters. There are ways to build safer and better for the location needs. But that aside - civil services are always underserved in rural and poor districts. The federal government had to take the initiative to push for electricity and phone lines across America into rural areas bc frankly those areas were never going to get it on their own. During covid people were shocked that there’s still areas with no or not reliable internet access. And again, some of that could be improved with better zoning so that the low income aren’t segregated into entire areas that it’s then not profitable to serve.
  24. It can be. True. But that doesn’t mean it always is. There are areas of my county that have at least as many light skinned people as darker and the key to them not getting equal services is bottom line - income disparity. IOW. They are poor neighborhoods. Neighborhoods that don’t have HOAs that will pay for community upkeep and also don’t have a tax incentive to either entice the city to do build things like sidewalks or attract big businesses. Idc what shade they are - the bottom line is there’s no profit to being there. Not for them. Not for business. And not for the city. You can drive down main street here and down the expensive shopping corridors and see plenty of homeless people. Most are white. And let me assure you, they get plenty of hate. I’m telling you I have seen and heard it. At least people will have enough shame to try to hide that they are racist. They make no such effort for how horribly they think of poor people. Which is neither here nor there to my point. No one in this thread is being racist or denying racism exists. But let’s be real too. There’s plenty of varieties of hate. Claiming white people who are actively wanting positive change that benefits everyone are racists bc you presume they didn’t care at some other point just seems an effort to thwart improvements and propagate ill-will. Sure did. Gerrymandering and zoning is a problem. I have not read anyone here who disagrees with that at all. Those policies ensured that elites didn’t have to look at where those below them economically or politically lived. Be it race or economics. It’s not like Tulsa is not known internationally for a history of racism. Again because people in poverty can’t afford to shop at Target. It s a huge problem when the only grocery store access people have is dollar stores. Which ironically enough for their name, can be some of the most expensive places to shop for necessities in those areas. And they have a hard time staying open bc the theft and robberies are on the daily. It’s a conundrum bc desperate poor people and people lacking mental health services are forced into a ghetto by economics and then is becomes “that area of town” that is crime riddled but if you send more cops - not even the cops are happy about it. And you can attract stores to the area but once the tax incentives end - they leave bc it flat out is not profitable for them to stay there. Businesses want to make money. If they could make money there - suddenly they wouldn’t care about race as much as money. Maybe I’m just cynical to think that. Which is why I said a lot of housing problems would be resolved or avoided if zoning mandated a hot mix within every 3-5 miles. There’d be a target there bc even if there’s a lower cost apartment complex and some smaller houses, there’d also be a lot of other mixed in. The balance would make it better for everyone. Think of it as economic desegregation via zoning.
  25. Right. And I’m not entirely in disagreement with them pending the type of zoning they have. I think zoning should be a hot mix of type and sizes all within a 3-5 mile area. Within that 3-4 mile are should be big expensive-ish homes, smaller 1000sq ft houses, upscale appartments and Lowe scale apartments, parks and playgrounds, basic shopping, pedestrian access everywhere and several transit stops. I also see little value in putty a tiny 400sq fr house on a normal sized lot. And I think building codes are legit worries. How is the local EMT going to get someone out of that place if they need help? I look at a lot of tiny houses and think, “That’s cute until they break a leg.”
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