Jump to content

Menu

saraha

Members
  • Posts

    5,128
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    15

Everything posted by saraha

  1. She’ll probably never ask for anything now, because now she can add me to her woe is me, at least I hope
  2. I was right, my people are actively working against me
  3. And now I’ve got sil In my face. She and I texted off and on while I was at fils doing food today. I ended up changing my whole days plan to accommodate fil. While he was gone, I had nothing else to do, so I made enough food for the whole week to give the new aid (who has 0 experience caretaking. Her job before this was an electronics factory) I guess later in conversation I said maybe I’d come by to meet her. I’m not sure what fil told sil but I get a text saying I don’t know why you did all that today (yea you do, we texted about it earlier) but I need you to back off. I would appreciate it if you don’t come by tomorrow and give her some space and so she doesn’t feel like we are checking up on her (reasonable, I’ll agree to that) I have given her all the instruction she needs and she just needs to be left alone. I left a notebook there and I will add to it as I see fit. (Um, ok…) Her main concern is focusing on mom. I gave up my whole afternoon and my plans for the evening, I have been listening to her bellyaching through dh about how much she has to do, I have bit my tongue (except that one time) and instead of saying thanks and by the way, can you wait til Friday to go by? I get back off. Oh sister. I showed it to dh, he tried to down play it. I said I’m not asking for permission and this is a much tamed down version that I sent. It went through much editing 😬I let dh read it, he said, we’ll that sounds restrained, and then he said hang on a second and he pulled out his phone and texted sil he was getting a ride in with dd19 on her way to work. I was just going to let this go knowing sometimes intent is hard to read in a text. But the longer I thought about it, the more I thought it needed a response. I am not sure what you thought my intent was, but I went to your dads today like I do every Monday to clean out the fridge (thinking dharma wouldn’t know what was old and what wasn’t) and make sure they had lunch and dinner. When I got there I found your dad all upset. Upset that your mom was giving him trouble, he couldn’t find his keys, he didn’t know if his part was ready and wanting to just GO. I helped him find the number of the place he wanted and then offered to stay with your mom for a few hours, changing my plans, while he went so he could get a break and your mom wouldn’t have to go. I made their lunch and dinner. Your mom absolutely did not want to engage with me and I had nothing else to do but wait. So I made more food thinking that would be one less thing for dharma to worry about getting used to the job. I did mention coming by to meet her. Not to instruct her, not to give her any orders, not to do anything other than meet her because I never had before. There was no intent behind it at all. I absolutely will give dharma space and not go to meet her, but my intention was to make her first week easier to focus on her main concern- focusing on your mom. It sounds to me from your text that you either think, or already feel, that I am overstepping, and I’m sure that must be uncomfortable and I am sorry about that. I will try to make sure that I don’t do anything to make you feel that way again and I absolutely acknowledge you are 100% in charge. If you ever do want or need help with something, I’ll just wait until you ask. It’s been a half hour and no response 🤷🏼‍♀️
  4. Let’s add snapping my debit card in half at the gas station card reader shall we. 🙄
  5. I honestly thought this season of life would be different. I know I’m just supposed to do the next thing, deal with the hand I’m dealt and not shoulda woulda coulda, but honestly today feels like my people are actively working against me. It’ll be fine tomorrow I’m sure, but for Pete’s sake, I need a real break. Like break from reality break. 🙄🤦‍♀️
  6. And I only had somewhat of co trim over one. I am so tired of where I am at right now, and feel super helpless to change anything
  7. I have definitely got a lot less hair on my head for sure. It makes me sad, and it is completely unpredictable so hard to “do”
  8. Oh my gosh, me too. I say I look like a barrel on toothpicks because I still have skinnyish legs
  9. Not close yet but after a conversation a couple of years ago, all 6 kids agreed with each other to call us grandma and Thor 😆 I really didn’t want a cute name, just something common so they could always find a card etc. Dh didn’t care. One of the middles suggested it and they all agreed! Now to see if it sticks! One of them will call him Thor once in a while
  10. I suggested that to the one talking to me about it, they were reservedly open to it given the others ability to convincingly play the victim card.
  11. Two of my kids have always had a strained relationship. One kid is definitely at fault as everyone can see but them. Therese two kids were both home for the weekend and got into a really big fight. They are in college and come home some weekends and will both be here over the summer. one kid has moved on, the other kid feels like it was the straw that broke the camel’s back and really wants to limit/cut ties. Right now, I am trying to rearrange the house so that the troublesome kid can have their own room for the summer, but other kid has made mumbling about not being able to live together. I am at a loss for what to do. They won’t see each other til Easter. The one kid who is actually talking to me about it is just so hurt and said they would be cordial. The other kid will not engage with me about it. If they both didn’t have to live at home, I would be more inclined to let it play out, but since neither are ready to live independently, I need to broker some kind of peace. Any advice and all prayers welcome. This is one of the things I was asking prayer for but it’s getting worse instead of better.
  12. Can I add that dd19 is home on spring break and is only wearing her hearing aids when she has to to “have a break” and because of this, she is talking so freaking loud all day long. And she missed everyone, so she just talks nonstop ALL DAY. And she is watching tv loud. Listening to music loud. Laughing loud. This morning I finally went into the living room and sweetly told dd19 she was being highly distracting to the two kids trying to do school, can she find something to do. Luckily she was meeting a friend today so was gone a nice chunk. But now she’s back…😆 I have been grossly overstimulated this week coupled with said last nerve and I am struggling you all
  13. I’m in the brain fog “what the heck was I just doing, the two sides of my brain aren’t talking to each other” and the 0-60 rage (usually only when driving and other people are acting dumb). Although for the last two days the “everyone is getting on my LAST nerve” stage is showing it’s face and I even snapped at dh. We never snap at each other. I felt like a jerk Oh, and I’m really thankful for texting right now because I can send cheery sounding texts when really I just want to strangle people
  14. Hugs and prayers for you and your family
  15. Aww, that’s tough. As much as I would want to respond, I know the best course of action is to scroll past and roll my eyes. Then I would complain to dh about it. It sounds like your dd handled it well and everyone needs to shake it off and move on. Including the other mother. She may also just be a weirdo that wants the world to know her snowflake is back on the market. 🤷🏼‍♀️
  16. I’m sorry about your brother. We took a couch and love seat from my mom who smoked. She rented an upholstery cleaner and went over it like three times, then we took it. It smelled faintly of smoke for a few months, but the furniture was nice, so we put up with it til it dissipated. Less than 6 months, I would totally try it.
  17. Oh! The Hardy boys and Nancy drew series from the seventies! 70s Parker Stevenson was my girls first crush 😆 Murdoch Mysteries
  18. My kids love ordering old Alfred Hitchcock movies. We watched “strangers in a train” last night we also like watching Columbo
  19. Mashed potato casserole: casserole dish full of your favorite mashed potatoes, topped with cooked sausage and shredded cheese. Bake to warm everything and melt cheese. My kids love this.
  20. That’s not to say I do t still have visceral knee jerk reactions to her, I almost think even more than I used to. I still have trouble discerning which behaviors are which and how to handle them. I still have a fear reaction to her displeasure (although it is getting better all the time) and I am learning sympathy. But my patience is also at an all time low with her, dh says she has used up her life time allotment of my patience, and it definitely feels like that. The hardest part is that the anxiety behaviors are mixed in with pure jealousness and meanness. Or she goes about expressing her anxiety in an inappropriate way.
×
×
  • Create New...