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elegantlion

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elegantlion last won the day on September 18 2013

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About elegantlion

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  1. I've spent the last three days sequestered in my apartment writing a paper. It's now finals week I have something scheduled for everyday until Monday - only one holiday thing - then I'm sleeping for a few days. I've bought many of my Christmas gifts, but I still need at least 1 more for my mom. I do not decorate my apartment. My mom said something about getting a tree for the house, not sure. My sister may come up if the weather is decent. I just want to sleep and binge watch Netflix.
  2. I'm tentatively posting this here. I am in talks with my current university about continuing on to the PhD program. My advisor approached me about it last month and I've been excited and anxious ever since. There are lots of hoops to jump through and most of them are going smoothly, money will be the biggest thing. They're willing to use all my MA credits for the PhD coursework, so it will only mean 1 more year away from home - home being about an hour away. Then I could do comps and write the dissertation while back home. My family is supportive, although they think I'm weird for even considering it. I still need to meet with the PhD coordinator and talk details, but I may end up studying for my PhD in history focusing on a cultural study of Medieval English forests.
  3. It's not so much the gift as who I'm giving it to. One of my dear friends has become my boyfriend (which still seems weird to say at my age). He's very practical and sort of minimal, except for books (a perfect match or what?!). So, he's getting a nice tie, one he wouldn't buy for himself, and a book a new translation of the Havamal by Jackson Crawford. It has Old Norse and the English. He reads some Old Norse and we're studying together in our spare time.
  4. This. I bought one when I was going through my divorce, had one previous to that as well. It's great upper body cardio, it physically removes me from a situation that makes me angry, and it fulfills the need to hit something. I put on some metal music and just have a blast. Aside from the physical outlet, I've worked on the emotional side too. I don't get angry like I used to, maybe because I'm older and just tired. I tried to adopt the "will it matter in five years?" attitude. If it won't matter in five years, I'm really not going to waste my limited emotional energy on it anymore. Exdh was an aggressive driver, I'd get upset because that could matter in 5 years if we wrecked while he was driving like a jerk. Another thing I did, which I believe we discussed here years ago, was channel my inner Meryl Streep from Devil Wears Prada. When her character got upset, she whispered, not yelled. That made her a little more terrifying (probably not what you're going for, lol), but people had to be quiet to listen or there would be consequences.
  5. My son is in college now, but writing instruction while homeschooling made me pull my hair out. He still hates writing. Like you, I am a writer, he is not. Agree with much of what has been said about needing to be by his side. Sometimes I orally walked ds through an essay. I would ask questions, he would give an answer, then I'd have him write that down - granted there was a lot of emotion in those few short steps - his apathy, my frustration. We used a white board to outline an essay. In hindsight, one of the most helpful I did was teach him argumentation - Workbook for arguments is one source that worked well for us. He knows how to hone to summarize information and be concise - which is a skill. Also in hindsight, I wish I'd had him do more with reaching word count goals - but after learning to summarize. He still will turn in papers that are too short - but he gets decent grades because although he writes little, he writes well organized papers with substantive arguments. The other thing that was important to me was the art of letting go of my expectations for him. He's never going to love writing - he's a senior in college so that is borne out - but he's a math major. I dislike math, but could write papers all day. Learning to express oneself in writing is a valuable skill, but not everyone is going to embrace the task. Once I let go of the angst I had about him as a writer, that helped both of our stress levels.
  6. Welcome to the rabbit hole of A5 planners. There are so many options, two of my favorite sites to study are Baum-Kuchen and Jet Pens. I used the Jibun Techo, which comes in B6 slim as well as A5 slim. It's mainly a monthly vertical weekly planner. I've also used the Hobonichi Cousin (A5) and techo (A6) which are monthly, daily planners. The Cousin has a vertical weekly section too. Jet Pens also has some good videos on planners in general and on specific products.
  7. I gave ds 1/2 credit for carpentry. He helped his dad with work for several weeks. So, like a paid internship. Also confirmed he never wanted to go into the construction field. He also got 1/2 credit for "History and Technology of Space Exploration." He did a open course class on space systems engineering - cannot remember what company, and watched every video ever created about the space programs worldwide. That information he has still retained years later.
  8. I commuted 30 minutes to my undergraduate school. It was okay, it was all highway miles, and doable. I now attend grad school 1 hour from home and I moved and got an apartment. IMO, an hour commute daily is too much. It detracts from study time. It's hard to stay for evening get togethers unless you find a great place to crash for a few hours. I have evening classes as well, so I'd have to drive at night, which I don't like doing. I also TA and I know that some of my students who commute longer distances struggle with finding study time or place on top of adjusting to the rigors of college life. They may still have family obligations or chores or jobs that affect that ability to study too.
  9. If you're attending college where the seasons change aburptly, made sure you have the correct seasonal clothes when needed. I planned on getting most of my winter clothes and winter coat this weekend from my mom's. It snowed today. I'm layering my light sweaters to form a wind barrier. 🙄 I didn't see anyone in shorts today, but I have on some cold fall mornings. Know how to order takeout or delivery food. How to write a check. Many of the apartments around here don't have online payment options, so you have to write that check each month. How to ask for help, both in and out of the classroom. Where to find quiet study areas on campus. I know many people get distracted in the dorms or around roommates. Scope out a part of the library or look for good areas to work. This is important for commuter students too, probably more so. Sometimes it's hard to work at home. I still go to the library on my undergraduate campus if I'm home for the weekend, I can't work when I'm visiting home.
  10. I miss the I agree button...The above is what I did with my son and my own undergrad education (started when ds was in high school, now in grad school). I scoured the catalog and major requirements, so I knew exactly what I needed/wanted when I walked in my advisor's office. I also had a list of questions ready to ask. I happened to find a great advisor who turned into my mentor who helped prepare me for grad school - even offering independent study courses to help me prepare. He didn't have to waste his time helping pick classes, I could do that, I needed real guidance. My son has done similarly. He know has one good advisor, a mentor, and professors that he can just go in and chat with. Also, a history degree can be very marketable. While it can be an easier sequence of classes - and I agree that planning from the hardest to fulfill choice makes sense- most upper level courses are writing intensive - at least in good programs. Students learn how to research and how to communicate that analysis in a clear and concise manner. Anecdotes, but that same institution has a new president and dean of the arts & science college, both were history majors, at least in undergrad.
  11. I don't think it sounds super creepy, just lonely and awkward. I agree that a boundary is necessary. As for giving out phone # to students who want help, I would just people in the future that she prefers to have communication by email. I'm a TA and was a group tutor in my undergraduate. We never gave out our phone numbers to students. I know at least in my undergrad that was a requirement, so there was a record of communication. My school email is set up to provide notifications on my phone anyway, so I get it right away, but there is not the urgency to respond right away.
  12. I had one as part of my hodgkin's lymphoma treatment, but it was back in the early 1990s. Mine hurt - like badly, partially because the physician ended up nicking the inside of the bone on one side. Agreed about the pressure. I agree about looking into what pain relievers can be taken and probably practice some meditative thoughts to focus on during the procedure. As a friend, I would encourage you to plan something nice for them afterward, maybe after a day or two. I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but pressure type pain is hard for me. I recently had a tooth pulled and it was much the same type of pain. I do imagine the procedure has improved since the 1990s. (hugs to your friend)
  13. The people that I wouldn't mind dropping by never would, they would at least text first. We tend to live upstairs and I cannot hear someone at the door anyway, the doorbell doesn't always work. We keep such odd schedules that it would be hard for people to know our routine anyway. Of course, I don't like to talk on the phone either. I have three people I will talk to on the phone, and two of those I live with most of the time.
  14. These are great ideas, thanks. I hope to go camping a bit this fall and need some quick food items.
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