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livetoread

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About livetoread

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    Hive Mind Worker Bee

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  1. I don’t use them for my granite countertop, but I do use them on my table. I bought several square white bathroom tiles and put some felt dots on the back corners. They have lasted me twenty years and counting, cost about a dollar a piece, and look good with my white dishes.
  2. Be forewarned...menopause can up the risk again. After years in the clear, the worst ones I ever had were a few years after menopause.
  3. I’m disappointed in the WP for what seems to me like a sensationalized headline. When you read the article, it clearly states that broken neck bones can happen with suicide by hanging, even hyoid bones, particularly with older people. I subscribe to both NYT and WP, and generally I give the WP the slight edge, but not this time.
  4. From my understanding of the research, older men with NPD are actually at higher risk of depression and subsequent suicide than many other personality disorder groups. I wonder if that’s because people are sick of their $&%^, and they get lonely. I was surprised to read it.
  5. I was able to go off meds for my reflux by being very careful with my clothing. Trying to improve my posture has helped too. I rarely see clothing mentioned when it comes to reflux aides, but it was huge for me.
  6. My daughter worked at a restaurant (briefly) while she was attending community college. Her boss assured her at hire that she could accommodate her college hours. One week in, she called daughter and told her she must come in when she wasn’t scheduled or she would be fired. Daughter rearranged another appointment and went. Boss told her never mind, she could go home, she wasn’t needed after all, and boss just wanted to make sure she’d come. Daughter quit soon after. I always see a sign looking for workers when I drive by. Wonder why! Yes, some people are lazy, but I think by and large other factors help explain better why people don’t want to work hard jobs for low pay.
  7. For those who believe in a Fall that changed something about the world/humans, and who are not YEC/YLC (I understand that view), what exactly do you think happened? We’ve got a world already designed for suffering and death which was going on for millions of years before humans evolve. Humans slowly evolve and they have to be greedy and selfish as well as cooperative and empathic in order to survive as social creatures. Compete and cooperate - the balance we still struggle with today. There was no time when we weren’t “sinning” so to speak. So what exactly was the Fall that we are so responsible for? We are incapable of ever being perfectly good and compassionate and that has always been the case because we were made that way. We can’t free will our way out of that. If there was a creator, it gave us those greedy, selfish instincts that are so necessary for us to survive in a world created to reward greed and selfishness as well as compassion. Much easier to be fully compassionate in a world that doesn’t require it for survival.
  8. And again, unless one believes in young life creation where God created all life in a perfect form without suffering and death and then humans messed that up, our world is broken because God specifically created it that way. Didn’t have to (heaven), but did. God decided children would die of cancer long before there was effective pain medication. Animals would suffer with no understanding or purpose. Why should anyone think this creator isn’t perfectly fine with suffering and death?
  9. Yes, the problem of evil was the biggest reason I decided a loving deity probably doesn’t exist. I spent years wrestling with the implications, explored the theodicy of many a thinker, argued countless hours online, and ultimately gave up from mental exhaustion. I struggled with human suffering, but what helped push things over the top was animal suffering. If a creator exists, this creator specifically chose a process that involved millions of years of animal suffering before humans ever showed up to give any sort of (questionable) meaning to that suffering. This creator is capable of creating a space that is free of suffering and that somehow deals with that pesky free will concept (assuming one also believes in heaven), but chose not to in this case. Suffering and death is a feature, not a bug. I find it easier to think there is no loving deity than to try and mash that reality into the existence of a loving deity, even a non-Christian, vaguely defined, deity. Editing to add, the second biggest reason was the hiddenness of God. Lots of implications there, including ties to the problem of evil, but the surprising part was how silent this deity was as I was struggling to hold onto my faith. Again, evidence suggests no loving deity rather than one who wants everyone to believe in it. Maybe only some people 😉 (since we’re talking about Reformed theology).
  10. I would have perceived it, rightly or wrongly, as a “testing the waters” attempt to see how racist he can be without getting called on it. White people saying they don’t feel like they are in America because so many black people are around is well over the line for polite chit-chat IMO. I would put good money on him expecting a “white people bonding” moment where you briefly commiserate on how different things are (unstated implication being not different in a good way) before moving on to other topics.
  11. I don’t know his story, but for many of us ex-believers, it wasn’t how we were treated that led to our loss of faith. I doubt it had much to do with him either, but I could be wrong.
  12. I’m someone else who went from a conservative Christian (but not legalistic or fundamentalist) upbringing to no faith, as did my dh. The process was hard but I’m happier on the other side of it, marriage intact and flourishing. As a private person, I shudder to think of going through it in the spotlight. I wish the best for him and his family, and I admire his willingness to recognize the hurt he has caused. It’s rare.
  13. The larger the aquarium, the easier it is to balance the water and the less often you have to clean it. Goldfish poop a lot, and while they can stay in smaller spaces, it is easy for the water to get unbalanced and for their gills to burn causing a painful death. They are easy with a larger habitat and frequent water changes.
  14. My paternal grandparents went to an independent living with step up care facility around age 85 and both died in their 90s. My folks swore they’d be in a similar facility by 80, and they are on a waiting list right now with Mom turning 80 in a few weeks. They are both in good health but saw how hard it was for my grandparents to transition in their mid 80s and decided to do it younger. I’m very grateful. My mil is 95, living on her own, and should have been in care years ago. It’s a significant source of stress for everyone caring for her, especially since she refuses outside help apart from family. She is the sweetest person and keeps saying she doesn’t want to be a burden, but her choices have done that anyway.
  15. I think in those situations, a non-angry, quizzical, clarifying question can be helpful. “And that bothered you?” “You didn’t want a black person buying it?” “Was that a bad thing?” Often people with any sense of social graces will backpedal to a stranger when they have to elaborate on their bigotry. You might not change their minds, but they are getting the message that if they voice such things in the public arena, it won’t slide by. If they stick to their guns, I’d just say, “Well, we don’t see eye to eye on that,” and change the topic.
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