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Everything posted by elegantlion

  1. Well, I started college at age 46, everything was rusty. It took a bit of time to get the momentum going and I used study tips designed for high schoolers to start. My field is more analyzing and contextualizing than memorization. I pulled out the "How to Read a Book" book that ds and I went through a few years earlier. I can't remember the title of the other study skills book I used, It's been recommended on here before. I also study in 25-30 minute increments. I set a timer, it helps me focus and eliminates me looking at the clock. I then take a 10-15 minute break, then study again. I do a few cycles of that and found it ups my productivity. I also listen to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata on repeat. It tends to quiet my subconscious well enough to focus.
  2. I found my friends at college. Most of my friends were around 30 while I was in my late 40s. I have since become friends with some of my former professors, a few who are closer in age to me. It's nice to have someone to discuss age related issues with, he's male so no talking about hormonal issues really, but I tend to relate to men better than women and gravitated toward male friendships most of my life. When we lived in a small town, friendships were hard. Connections were either made through public school or the church, neither of which we participated in. Ds and I had each other and my parents - and we still like to hang out together. I've always been content with a small circle of friends, and after my divorce debacle, I have trust issues. I completely trust about 3-4 people in my life, consider 2-3 others close friends, and have a wider circle mostly of undergrad and grad school friends. Ds and I are very introverted, ds more so than me. We have two good extrovert friends that we like to socialize with. One is a bartender at our favorite bookstore/bar - yes it's a thing - so we'll go there and hang out. It's weird and cool to call your child a friend, I never thought we'd have this relationship. Time and presence have been the best two things for my friendships. As I said above, I don't trust people enough to be open with them. In the above friendships, it took a period of 1-3 years to reach that point. But we'd do things together, dinner, watching movies, school activities, etc. With ds, it's easy to trust him, he's been there through all of the crap and he's turned into a young man who fun to be around. I also reevaluated what I wanted out of a friendship. I want to feel valued not just busy. I don't need, nor do I have time for, twenty activities a week. I wanted to have meaningful conversations and stupid ones with the same people. My child is raised, I'm not married, and I'm old enough that I'm not going to be something/someone I'm not to fit into a group. As an introvert, I enjoy fewer interactions with people but ones that feel more sincere, not superficial. Facebook shows me all these events that my friends are hosting or attending. I couldn't do some of their schedules, I would burn out on people quickly.
  3. This is where an adulting group like boy scouts would come in handy. You're earning your "I sold a home, yea!" badge. We should be able to wear them on sashes. I admit to getting twitchy whenever I see someone loading or unloading a UHaul. I think there should be a solidarity wave too when you come across people going through a similar situation. I'm sorry you've had a crappy realtor.
  4. Wow! I'd be screaming at everyone, officially and unofficially. I'm sorry you're there. I also hope your lawyer sorts this all out.
  5. I used the ten point scale because that is the system used by the college where my son applied. I made sure to list it on the transcript.
  6. My son is a commuter and I was a successful commuter for a while. Our move to my university town was not just because of the commute, my mom and I were looking for a house to buy together and it didn't make sense to buy in the town where I lived. My son is adamant against dorms, he's a hermit who prefers his solitude and has some expensive computer equipment that he wouldn't want to leave behind. You can make commuting a success. In our town we have a bus available, but the lines are few and it would take 50 minutes versus what is an 8 minute drive. Plan activities. If you have several hours of down time, seek out a good spot on campus. My undergrad had a commuter and non-traditional student lounge, but the TV was always on and a few of the people ruined the experience by gossiping and talking down about traditionally-aged students. I started hanging out near my department instead or went to the library for quiet time. Get to know a few people who live in town where you can stay the night if you're really too tired to drive home. Develop a communication plan with your student. If I opted to stay late, I'd text someone. Study groups can crop up at the last minute, activities that you didn't know about, dinner out with classmates. I would want my commuter student to have the freedom to say yes to staying, but be thoughtful enough to let me know when they did. Set up a study room at home. Have a quiet space or headphones to allow adequate focus. So much work is done at home. I still have a hard time studying at home, I tend to pack up and go to the library when distractions become too much. Have a family game plan. Others can speak to their experience better, but college operates on its own schedule and dinner and other activities may clash with the student's schedule. College can also be exhausting - I didn't realize how exhausting until I started attending on campus classes. Proper sleep is important, but that sleep may come at odd hours. So I would not expect a student to keep up with all the family activities, but make sure they know they are welcome, but that their studies come first. Again, ds and I were students together, so our life really did revolve around college.
  7. I also vote dorms. I commuted to my undergrad institution 30 minutes (~40 miles) for 3 years, then moved to the same town. It made a world of difference in my ability to socialize at school and increased my study time. I live an hour away from my graduate institution. I opted to move in an apartment close to campus last year because of gas prices, social activities, long days, evening classes, and wanted freedom to fully concentrate on my studies. It made a huge difference. I'll do the same thing for this upcoming year (I move home for the summer). By the time you factor in gas, wear and tear on a vehicle, driving while fatigued (college can be exhausting), and poor weather, it made sense to just rent closer to my university. Even if you're used to driving in bad weather, being that far away you might have to leave before the school determines whether it will be open for the day. Universities around here do not typically close for bad weather, yet last winter was a doozy. Both my graduate and undergrad schools closed at least once a week for the first 5-7 weeks of class. A lot of time the call to close was made around 8 a.m., so I would have needed to leave for school before the call was made.
  8. Ouch, I'm sorry. I still get that knee-jerk reaction that "we're too young!" when one of my friends posts about becoming a grandmother. My ds is not dating and currently swears he does not want children, so it may be a long while or never before I choose my grandma name. I'm okay with that actually.
  9. Taco bar, margaritas, and pizza. As long as there is no potato salad.
  10. not off grid solar, but tied to the electric company. We have one area that would be nice to do solar, but it's too cost prohibitive right now. Down the road I might consider it. It is a technology that I'm watching.
  11. I took hapkido as a college class when I was 49. I ended up being the only one in the class who opted to wear shoes after I twisted my ankle wrong one day. That made me feel old. I love some of those moves though, but yeah, my joints don't move like when I was 20.
  12. I'm 52 and hopefully toward the end of peri-menopause - thought I'd be done completely by now. Lately, my hair has been falling out more. I have thick hair, and it seems to have stopped for now, but for a few weeks, it was like a spring shed of an animal. This was a surprise, apparently hormonal. My feet hurt - I have arthritis in one of my big toes and can no longer wear any shoe with a heel over about 1 inch.
  13. I was going to suggest Corner Gas (It's on Prime, not sure about Hulu). There are a limited number of sets, so it's easy to picture once you've seen a few episodes.
  14. If you children live off campus, try to scrutinize the financial costs of the apartment carefully. I rented an apartment last year that paid all utilities but electric and Internet. The complex also offered a less than 12 month lease for only $25 more per month. Their off street parking was free and their deposit was $250 instead of the normal one month's rent. Move in costs were lower than other complexes and so were the monthly expenses. Having to deal with only two utilities saved time as well. I would encourage students to watch for those hidden fees, like parking fees or high application fees, or utilities that may not be paid. Also, make sure they are evaluating food plans each semester or year. At my undergraduate institution, students can order food to spend the rest of their "flex" dollars. Some students end up with hundreds of dollars left over, which they up spending on overpriced snacks and drinks just to not lose the money. Seriously, they set up the orders in the food court every semester and it looks like a warehouse.
  15. Those two as stand alone incidents wouldn't bother me. My mom has special grandma privileges, but we taught ds early on that those rules applied to their house, not ours. I'm pretty sure he had ice cream FOR lunch a few times. As for the gas, I notice the older adults in my life (I'm 52, so older is 75+) get gas more often and tend to expel it more freely, I mean sometimes you just have to. As a child I would get in trouble for saying the word "fart," now it's just a bodily function. Maybe she was embarrassed to be called out on it. We wanted ds to have special memories of his grandparents, so we let some things go, like dessert before dinner. Safety issues were non-negotiable. It's sounds like more than these few incidents, however.
  16. I would put first name, maiden, and marriage #3. My grandmother died and was in the midst of divorce when she did, yet her last married name is on her headstone. That is the name she held upon her death. She is also buried next to her parents (no spouse is buried near her). Those that know, know. Those that care and want input will put money toward the cost of a headstone, they are not cheap. Just my .02.
  17. I'm going to echo regentrude and wonder why she took the class in the first place. As to the bolded, I took a medieval class on medieval women and children last semester. As a medieval historian (in training), I knew that women were there in midst of everything in the middle ages, but didn't realize how much men, both medieval writers and early 19th & 20th century historians, tried to brush out women or ignore them. When you go back and read the primary sources, court records and letters (personal and public), women were everywhere. Common women were in the courts (lawyers were not a thing in the era I study), noble women were using their influence to maintain their own power or affect change. Even early 20th century translations of some of these records erase the women - the name might be listed in the source, but in the translation she's just listed as "wife," etc. Victorian sensibilities, romanticism, and early historians created this faulty persona of the damsel in distress. These women were not exceptional, they were just there. The church (ie: celibate men) seemed to be afraid of powerful women and tried to write them out of some events. The one exception would be Eleanor of Aquitaine, she was the pinnacle of female agency in the middle ages. When you dig into the secondary literature written by both male and female historians, you get a better sense of the medieval equality of women. The stereotype will take longer to die, however.
  18. I would miss tacos too. Peanut butter - I don't eat it a lot anymore, but I like having it around Pizza - essential food for me
  19. Ugh. I saw a glimpse of those committee issues this semester as they announced 5 professors were retiring this spring. I'm not sure who that affected in the PhD program, but in my cohort it sent 2-3 scrambling to find someone else to oversee their thesis work. I think we're losing at least one student because of it.
  20. IMO, archaeology is the lowest of the anthropology courses in some schools. I know one school, no one wants to teach the intro anthropology course, so it seems like they draw straws and the shortest one has to teach it. The only reason we had an archaeology course (all online) is because a member of the community was an archaeologist and did digs in the Mediterranean about 25 years ago. Even his videos were about 15 years old by the time I took the course. Seems like oddly weird topics to put together, primate biology and archaeology? Is the professor doing his dissertation on primates?
  21. I'm doing an independent study this summer. I'm working on 12th century English forest law and there are a tons of sources to read through, both primary and secondary. This will help me get a head start on the fall. I'm reading through the Latin with my former Latin instructor, who has become one of my good friends, so it's been a blast so far.
  22. Academia is fraught with instability and tenure track positions are challenging to find. I'm in the history field and my understanding is that you need a PhD to be considered for tenure track positions, not just the JD. I do know a few American history professors who do have their JD and in addition to PhD, but opted not to go into law or are wanting to get out of the legal field.
  23. I have a Samsung Galaxy J7 that I paid about $180 for a few years ago. I prefer Android. I've had Samsung phones before and had good success with quality. I tend to text and use wi-fi more than data. I don't load a huge number of apps, but all run fine. The only issue I had was a few weeks ago when the battery drained super quickly. It was easy to get into the settings and determine which apps were sucking the battery. I've not had an issue since.
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