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Immediate prayer needed

Soror

By Soror,
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Soror
Soror

Daughter was in wreck with boyfriend. He died. She is ok but distraught. We were out of town and heading to her. Prayers for his family and my daughter. It is horrible. He was such a good kid.  I can'

Soror
Soror

I'm going to put this up temporarily- this is from a dance a month or so ago.

Soror
Soror

Bf's family invited DD over so she went over a couple of hours. I stayed up the street at cousins house in case she wanted to leave suddenly. She said it gave her some closure. DD was able to tell ste

Soror

Soror

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Not a lot of sleep here. DD came to me after 1 crying. We talked about what a great guy he was, her guilt (what if she'd tried to stop the bleeding she was so focused on finding the phone and calling 911- I really don't think she could have done anything- I told her how proud I was of her she did the best possible thing calling them first), his poor family, how she can't stand everyone posting about it half the people don't even know him that well (she's not posted at all as it is disrespectful to her to post something like that on Snap but she sees it all), how horrible it all is. She finally fell asleep with a couple of kittens on her and then when to her bedroom after 2:30 and I finally went to bed and got some sleep.

He was going to surprise her for her bday. She never got find out what he was going to do. Her present we guess somewhere in the vehicle. Her wallet as well. We have to wait for the highway patrol to release it.

When I called to give mil the update he passed (dh was driving). I was crying and she's all commanding me to calm down my kid is fine. She's such a clueless..... Anything happens to her it's fine she's upset anyone else you are freaking out over nothing. This is why we didn't send her to be with DD at the hospital while we drove back. It would be better to be alone than with her. Dds cousin went. Mil can't even listen to your troubles. 

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Guest

Guest

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I am so sorry to read about this horrible tragedy. Survivor’s guilt is a real thing and I second Katy’s suggestion re: medication to mitigate the way trauma is memorialized for her. 

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Soror

Soror

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Oh I did get her to take a painkiller. It took a lot of convincing. They didn't give her anything more than otc at the hospital. 

If there is any chance that helps later I had to make sure she did. She's just reliving it over and over. I'm cycling through sadness at the tragedy of it, that poor boy and his family, worry over DD going through it and losing him, and the worry it could have been her and guilt she walked away.

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Catwoman

Catwoman

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Not to add any more worry, @Soror, but please keep a close eye on your DD for any kind of concussion symptoms. I know her CT scan came back clear, but if she was knocked out and this was a rollover accident, I would keep a close eye on her for a while to make sure she is really OK.

I probably didn’t even need to mention this because you’re probably already doing that, but because this is such a horrible time, I just wanted to mention it in case you hadn’t thought about it in the middle of everything else that is going on.

You should be so proud of your daughter. In the middle of a horrible crisis like that, all she could think of was finding the cell phone phone to call 911 to try to save her boyfriend. She sounds like an amazing and mature girl.

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Granny_Weatherwax

Granny_Weatherwax

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This is heartbreaking. My condolences to the boy's family and loved ones, including you and your DD.  What a tragedy.

There was a boardie here, Margaret from CO (?), whose DD lost her fiance in a tragic accident. I wish she were still here as she would probably have greater words of comfort and advice on how to move forward than I do.

I'll be thinking of you all and sending thoughts for solace and comfort.
 

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livetoread

livetoread

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It sounds so banal and frivolous in the midst of this awfulness but playing Tetris as soon as possible after the tragedy has also been clearly shown to help mitigate ptsd. I would assume anything that commands focused attention would do the same. I'm horrified for all of you and so, so sorry.

Whoops, editing to add, I've just spent a few minutes looking into this claim and I need to say that the claims exceed the actual evidence imo and it is hardly the strong effect some are claiming. So I wouldn't say never mind, but will say it probably wouldn't hurt to help her focus on something besides the memories for periods of time if she can.

Edited by livetoread
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Faith-manor

Faith-manor

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When she is able, I highly recommend therapy for PTSD. It helped with mine post car wreck. It didn't cure it, but it made it liveable so I was able to safely resume driving.

So many hugs from me to you, your dd, and your whole family minus MIL who I am giving some serious stink eye.

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Soror

Soror

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49 minutes ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

This is heartbreaking. My condolences to the boy's family and loved ones, including you and your DD.  What a tragedy.

There was a boardie here, Margaret from CO (?), whose DD lost her fiance in a tragic accident. I wish she were still here as she would probably have greater words of comfort and advice on how to move forward than I do.

I'll be thinking of you all and sending thoughts for solace and comfort.
 

Yes I remember. I can't imagine how it was for them with them. 

26 minutes ago, AmandaVT said:

If you can find one, look for someone that is certified in EMDR. EMDR is great for any kind of trauma, but it can work wonders in helping with an acute traumatic event like this one. 

Looking into it

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AmandaVT

AmandaVT

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3 minutes ago, Soror said:

Yes I remember. I can't imagine how it was for them with them. 

Looking into it

PM me if you can't find anyone - I know a few therapists that are EMDR trained and do telemedicine. I believe they all have waitlists, but I may be able to twist some arms for this situation. 

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Arcadia

Arcadia

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3 hours ago, Soror said:

Oh I did get her to take a painkiller. It took a lot of convincing. They didn't give her anything more than otc at the hospital. 

Codeine. It used to be in cough medicine. It’s one of the painkillers I could safely take without worrying about possible drug allergies. It can be addictive but okay in mild doses for short periods of time. 
I am an insomniac and my family practitioner gave me a sedative injection when I was 17 so that I could sleep decently for two days, waking up to eat something. I wasn’t able to sleep for about a week and was at the “sleepwalking” stage.

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Rebel

Rebel

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1 hour ago, AmandaVT said:

If you can find one, look for someone that is certified in EMDR. EMDR is great for any kind of trauma, but it can work wonders in helping with an acute traumatic event like this one. 

I was going to suggest EMDR also. It helped me tremendously after a traumatic event that I kept reliving.

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Soror

Soror

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Bf's family invited DD over so she went over a couple of hours. I stayed up the street at cousins house in case she wanted to leave suddenly. She said it gave her some closure. DD was able to tell stepdad and mom details about what happened which helped them and made her feel useful in some small way. They of course reassured her it wasn't her fault in any way. And his mom had her bday gift at their house, he'd planned to give her after they went out to eat. 

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Rachel

Rachel

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I’m so sorry, saying a prayer for all involved. 
 

In my area hospice has grief counseling for all types of grief. If you aren’t sure where to look for counseling I would check with your local hospice. Even if they can’t help they may be aware of proper resources. 

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Dmmetler

Dmmetler

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Definite prayers and support here. We've been/are living this, and it's completely horrible. 

 

One suggestion-if you can, be in the room or have someone there and do calls with insurance, etc on speaker. There is just SO much that needs to be managed.

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