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My brother died. This is trivial, but...can you help me find a dress?

Chris in VA

By Chris in VA,
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Chris in VA

Chris in VA

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I need a black or nearly black dress. Is this appropriate? http://www.avenue.com/en_US/floral-hacci-jacket-dress-114629674.html?dwvar_114629674_color=101#start=3&cgid=jacket-dresses

 

The funeral is being held at a funeral home. There is a time of remembering, but no service, per se. 

 

I usually go for solids, even if they are dark and not black, but I have to find one quickly and a lot of the black ones I've seen are sparkly and really for evening wear. I don't feel comfortable in a suit or a skirt and blouse (I'm about a size 18 W). 

 

Thanks for any opinions or links. 

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Carol in Cal.

Carol in Cal.

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I am so sorry, Chris.

 

I am a plus sized person, and for that I would wear a Vickki Vi black dress with somber or black jacket.

This is the one I have:  http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/vikki-vi-sleeveless-shift-dress-plus-size/4044196?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=BLACK

 

It's skimming, opaque, deep warm black (instead of cold flat black), WASHABLE (!!!), heavy but not oppressive, difficult to wrinkle, travels well, and since it's a shift it doesn't bind at the waist so size-wise it is forgiving.  It goes with everything.  Black water shoes=beach dress.  Black heels=evening dress.  Flats and a jacket=business dress.  It is quite literally the most useful article of clothing I own.  When I go on business trips I bring it with two jackets and three long flowy scarves (a lacy white silk one, a demure heavy cream silk yarn one with black beads knitted in, and a gauzy one in a bright color--either hot yellow or bright violet), and I am set for the week.  My point is that if you get this, it will be perfect for this occasion but also very useful going forward.

 

The dress you posted would be nice for most funerals, but I am old school and would wear all black to the funeral of a family member, OR, solid black underneath with a white jacket to symbolize Resurrection.

Edited by Carol in Cal.
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creekland

creekland

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I don't have a fashion gene in my body, so can't truly offer an opinion.  I just wanted to offer my sincere condolences.   :grouphug:  That said, I can't imagine anyone getting hung up on what someone wears TBH, and wouldn't have noticed a thing out of place with your selection.

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Chris in VA

Chris in VA

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I am so sorry, Chris.

 

I am a plus sized person, and for that I would wear a Vickki Vi black dress with somber or black jacket.

This is the one I have:  http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/vikki-vi-sleeveless-shift-dress-plus-size/4044196?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=BLACK

 

It's skimming, opaque, deep warm black (instead of cold flat black), WASHABLE (!!!), heavy but not oppressive, difficult to wrinkle, travels well, and since it's a shift it doesn't bind at the waist so size-wise it is forgiving.  It goes with everything.  Black water shoes=beach dress.  Black heels=evening dress.  Flats and a jacket=business dress.  It is quite literally the most useful article of clothing I own.  When I go on business trips I bring it with two jackets and three long flowy scarves (a lacy white silk one, a demure heavy cream silk yarn one with black beads knitted in, and a gauzy one in a bright color--either hot yellow or bright violet), and I am set for the week.  My point is that if you get this, it will be perfect for this occasion but also very useful going forward.

 

The dress you posted would be nice for most funerals, but I am old school and would wear all black to the funeral of a family member, OR, solid black underneath with a white jacket to symbolize Resurrection.

Thank you so much--I thought maybe solid was better. I can't wear white with it, though, and would need to find my own jacket and the other comes with one already. But yes, I am really looking for all black. I have something, but wanted something else. I think I just want to distract myself by shopping, actually. I do truly need shoes, though. 

 

Thanks everyone for the comments. Going shopping today and not sure what I'll find. 

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mschickie

mschickie

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I am so sorry for your loss.

 

 

If you wanted you could do something simple like this swing dress from Macy's

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/style-co-plus-size-swing-dress-created-for-macys?ID=2894737&CategoryID=5449&swatchColor=Deep%20Black&swatchColor=Deep%20Black#fn=COLOR%3DBlack%26SIZE%3DWOMEN_PLUS_SIZE_T%3A18W%2C%202X%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D5448%26ruleId%3D78%7CBOOST%20SAVED%20SET%26searchPass%3DmatchNone%26slotId%3D3

 

 

or something like this one

 

 

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/love-squared-trendy-plus-size-knotted-fit-flare-dress?ID=3449634&CategoryID=5449&swatchColor=Black#fn=COLOR%3DBlack%26SIZE%3DWOMEN_PLUS_SIZE_T%3A18W%2C%202X%26sp%3D1%26spc%3D433%26ruleId%3D78%7CBOOST%20SAVED%20SET%26searchPass%3DmatchNone%26slotId%3D28

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Carol in Cal.

Carol in Cal.

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Black jacket, on sale:  http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/caslon-cotton-knit-open-front-blazer-regular-petite/4792195?origin=coordinating-4792195-60140241-1-FTR-recbot-recently_viewed_snowplow_mvp&recs_placement=FTR&recs_strategy=recently_viewed_snowplow_mvp&recs_source=recbot&recs_page_type=category

 

They have free returns/free shipping, so if it were me I would order the XL and the XXL and send back the one that didn't fit as well.

Edited by Carol in Cal.
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Chris in VA

Chris in VA

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That's really nice. 

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Janeway

Janeway

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It does not matter. I know, it is trivial. Go with the nearly black dress. You do not want to make decisions right now. My mom's funeral came on so suddenly that I saw all colors there, even white with a floral print.

 

I am very sorry about your brother. Death sucks, so much, so incredibly much.

 

edited to add: I love the dress in the picture. It is appropriate.

Edited by Janeway
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Tanaqui

Tanaqui

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I'm so sorry for your loss :(

 

That dress is appropriate, but listen, nobody is going to the funeral with the intent of critiquing your clothing. So many of us don't have funeral-ready clothes in our wardrobes. It's okay to go in something that's not all black if you just don't have it, so long as it's reasonably somber.

 

I think I just want to distract myself by shopping, actually. I do truly need shoes, though.

 

That's a fairly normal impulse, and also okay.

 

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marbel

marbel

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I'm really here to say I'm sorry.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  But yes, the dress is perfectly appropriate.  I have been to several funerals this year and there is a wide variety of clothing styles and colors worn. 

 

ETA: FWIW, my sister wore a floral print dress, predominately red, to my dad's funeral.  My nephew wore one of dad's ties - also red.  Red was dad's favorite color and my guess is, he would have been pleased. If anyone was scandalized, they kept it to themselves.

 

Last week I went to a funeral. The daughter of the deceased wore a nice t-shirt in a floral print, and black slacks. That was likely a typical work outfit for her.  Again, if anyone thought she was wrong, they were wise to keep it to themselves. 

Edited by marbel
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hornblower

hornblower

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I'm sorry for your loss Chris.  :grouphug: 

Wear anything. There is no inappropriate way to be during grief. 

The recent funerals I've attended have had plenty of color at them.  Anything you'd wear to a very traditional job interview or anything you'd wear to a Sunday service is absolutely fine.

 

If the person had a favourite color, it's especially appropriate to wear it or have an accessory in it. 
 

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stephanier.1765

stephanier.1765

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I'm so sorry about the loss of your brother.  :grouphug:  Was he your only sibling?

 

I love the dress in your OP and the options suggested by other PP are lovely as well. Any of them would be appropriate and comfortable as well. I know for myself that the last thing I want to worry about during the funeral is how my clothes look. 

 

Take good care of yourself.  :grouphug:

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