I LOVE Peter Pan's posts--wow, so much wisdom there. As one who has been anxious and perfectionist myself, one little thing can I offer you-- I (finally--sheesh) have examined my childhood enough to understand something--I didn't know the difference between perfection and excellence. An academic example--I was brought up with the idea that getting 100% ("all of them right") was the goal on every test or graded assignment. Anything less was good, but not--perfect. And perfection was the goal, always. Al.ways. So A, B, C grades were much less scary than percents on my report card. If you get an A, that's the best you can do. But if you get a 95% (which is an A....) and your parent sees that 95%, then you have missed 5 percent. It's good, but not perfect. So I was never satisfied and never felt the satisfaction of my parents when my grade on a test was not 100. It was so prevalent in my mind, that it actually became a core belief--a belief so strong that it is extremely difficult to "rewire," and affects one's outlook on life. I could, intellectually, agree that effort mattered, that not reaching 100% was "good enough," but inside it did not feel right. That's when I knew it was a core belief. Perfectionism had wormed its way into my life. Not til recently did I figure out that there is a difference between perfection and excellence. After a lot of work figuring out things, I realized excellence is really a much healthier standard. AND, one cannot be excellent all the time (and it is NOT "less than" perfect, it is a different SCALE). Anyway, I'm not sure I'm explaining this well, but for me, it was life changing. I realized, for example, that I had passed on the idea of 100%=the only good. I was feeling inside that dd should have really good grades, 100% being the goal. I gave lip service to "oh, try your best!" or "Oh, 85 wow what a great grade!" But I didn't really feel that way. And dd picked up on it. She is better now that she is in college. Now my core belief is changing, which I am so proud of and thankful for--because it is TRUTH, and that is my highest value in my core. So, I guess I'm taking forever to say, look at the difference and maybe there's something there you can use with your ds.

Did I miss that they said they wouldn't pay? Or did they ask for a little time to pay?

I think you are talking about a bingo- like game where kids read different things and if they complete a square then mark it to make a row. So they squares might have things like, Read a book with a color in the title, Read a book set in a foreign country, Read a book with a bear as a character....Am I correct? Maybe your twist could be something like each square has a letter and a row will spell out a word (scrambled). Unscramble the word to win...fine abatement? A cool library pencil?.... Or...let's see... Blackout (completing the card) could win a totebag? The twist could be, not only win a book for completing a row, but win something else for also...blackout, or 4 corners, or two rows (have to do the row AND the other thing to get the second prize). or Maybe all winners entered into a drawing? Idk. It's 3:19am. That's all I've got. 😂 OH I SEE--TOTALLY MISREAD. IT REALLY IS JUST A BINGO GAME. LOL

No real advice, but based on experience, I would do everything I possibly could to avoid removing him from the home (avoiding residential school). YMMV

I heard Bird Box is good. Handmaid's Tale if adult stuff is ok and you can do a free trial of Hulu. It won't lift your spirits but it is absorbing enough that you will forget your surroundings. The Office is a favorite here. Have you seen Stranger Things?

Here's one I took yesterday in our guest house garden. Happy Spring

I'm sorry your son is acting this way. Some things to be thankful for--he wasn't hurt in his wreak, he has money to live on without you (he won't be homeless, like my son had to experience), and he has insurance to cover the repairs to your van. And, he didn't commit fraud. As far as natural consequences, his insurance will likely go up. Let his insurance cover your van. I suppose you could offer him one last chance to pay for your repair instead of reporting it to his insurance (but I would not give him the option of fixing it himself).

Yikes. I see youtube is also disabling comments on channels that feature minors. I only watch one--The Ohana Adventures.

Is there an impact to your credit score by opening lots of cards to get the points? We used to pay bills by cc but my own personal cards were a nightmare for me, so it's not for me. But more power to ya!

Ds went thru a neuropsych when he was 6, and they did not find he had autism. We specifically went for a diagnosis ahain when he was about 9. Still no diagnosis of autism. Then college--and while counseled for something else, he was offered the Aspie/autism diagnosis. It was a huge "duh" moment. I kinda knew much earlier, but we didn't tell ds. Know what's interesting? I am on tbe spectrum, too. As a girl with autism but no formal diagnosis, I mask a lot. I only put a name on it when I did more research on ds. I had no idea of the why behind certain thought patterns and behaviors. My husband and my parents don't believe me, but I fit pretty squarely in the criteria. For my parents, it would feel like a failure for them to admit it. They already feel horrible that my brother had a genetic disease and blame themselves for that. Anyway don't beat yourself up at all.

He could go to prison for insurance fraud, if he, for example, pretended to be the owner of the vehicle when he wasn't. I would talk to him and ask what the payment was on your van. Demand that money. Use it for the repair. The other money for the damage on his car is rightly his. Get information today.

Pay attention to this man. He works in the industry. ❤️ I would second all of these. Some are hard to watch, with disturbing violence, but still, they have something strong to say. I have seen 23 of them. I absolutely loved Roma--the cinematography is so amazing, it will take your breath away. That's really something to look for--how does the director frame his shots? How does the camera move? Who is highlighted by focus? This is one of the "literary elements" of film, and if you are watching it like you'd be reading literature, then you need to know what the elements so to speak are. I would add 3 Colors (Trois Coleurs) as favorite "artsy" movies of ours. We love love love the director. Also, Wings of Desire--it's a good movie for the ages of your kids and very gentle.

I walk a lot around here, on slippery and uneven stone pavement, mostly. I swear by Tevas. I'd love to try Vitronics, too, but I need something that is grippy.

Not too much, but for years I thought the name was Laura IGNALLS Wilder. Does that count?

My husband made a recording room in our basement. He put some foam on the walls. It does work. What kind of guitar does your other son play? There are mutss for violas--are there mutes (aka "practice mute") for guitars? Also agreeing with headphones. Ds wears them and it is very calming for him.