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Tanaqui

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Tanaqui last won the day on June 9 2017

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About Tanaqui

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  1. Tanaqui

    Fantasy Literature 7th grade

    I didn't say I would throw out LotR (though I can't ever get into it myself - that's his writing style, though), just that as an overall list, what is recommended tends to be very the same. It's like the Bechdel test. One movie where no two women ever hold a conversation is probably nothing to get too worked up about, but the fact that more than half of all movies made in a given year don't manage to hop over that low bar, and that those that do rarely do more than the bare minimum does raise my eyebrows. (Though I disagree wildly that Queen of Attolia has a female protagonist. Gosh, I love that book, and I can sorta see where you get that, but....) On the subject of Lowry, it's weird, but a lot of her classic kidlit books... I just like the efforts in that direction by different authors more. I feel the same way about Number the Stars or the Anastasia books. (Well, not that you should read Green Sky instead, lol, but that other books on those themes are handled better.)
  2. Tanaqui

    Fantasy Literature 7th grade

    Okay, I have some things to do today, but I'll pop back later with my list. To riff off of Lori's list, I Have a Few Thoughts: Definitely recommend: Earthsea Pit Dragon Chronicles (but skip book 4) Dalemark The Thief (the first is the weakest, imo, but necessary) Otherwise recommend as classics: The Dark is Rising Prydain Do not like: The Giver. Sorry, this is just overrated, and Lois Lowry cannot do math. And then the sequels turn massively message-Jesusy. The Green Sky Trilogy covers many of the same themes better - though, as Lori notes, the third is weak and has a weak ending. The author realized later it didn't have to end that way, and so I choose to pretend that it ended the way she fixed it later. I will note that the list is overwhelmingly white and male and Euro-centric. LotR, in particular, is wall-to-wall guys doing guy stuff and being guys. There's hardly a woman in the entire doorstopper. So when I pop back, you can expect my list will look a little different.
  3. Tanaqui

    Fantasy Literature 7th grade

    Do you have any topics you particularly want to avoid?
  4. Tanaqui

    Any good South Africa news sources?

    No, conquest is natural, but once it's happened, remediating it is injustice. Power must remain in the hands of the powerful.
  5. Tanaqui

    Any good South Africa news sources?

    Yes, Arctic Mama, it's a real pity that so many people in Africa and the Americas are living on what is, when you get right down to it, stolen land. Remediating the long-term injustice is certainly very tricky.
  6. Tanaqui

    Boys and girls

    That's a bit old fashioned. Whoever did the inviting should pay, and unless they have very unequal incomes then it's likely to even out so they each pay about half the time.
  7. Tanaqui

    He never stops moving - should I be concerned?

    That sounds normal for his age - a little ahead here, a little behind there, but all within the normal range. Keep an eye on the reading and maybe do some activities to practice following complex instructions (things like playing Simon Says as a family - you can google for more ideas) and otherwise don't worry about it. (You don't need to do any activities about following instructions, seven year olds can be a bit ditzy about that sort of thing, but it won't hurt and might reassure you that you are Doing Something.)
  8. Tanaqui

    He never stops moving - should I be concerned?

    It could be that your older children were more mature than usual, or that your youngest is simply benefiting from being, well, the baby. It would be useful to know what, specifically, he means, though. But sometimes children just are different from each other, and they're still all in the normal range.
  9. Tanaqui

    Boys and girls

    Then I don't see that you have any choice at this point but to drop it. Not if you want to maintain a good relationship with your son. And you DO want to maintain a good relationship with him. IF something is going on, then the fact that he's not telling you suggests that he feels you'll judge him. Looking at this thread, he's probably right about that. Given the situation, I don't blame you! But let's say he goes ahead and they really do get married in a year, and then a little while later he realizes he made a huge mistake. If he's still thinking that you disapprove, that you pry, that you'll judge him, that you treat him like a little kid - is he going to suck it up and ask for your help? I'm thinking no. You can't get blood from a stone, and you can't force people to tell you things if they're not ready. Continuing on this path is going to cause a lot more fuss and a lot more drama. It's a pity he can't level with you and say either "Whoa, whoever told you that is seriously off base and way out of line" or "Oh, yeah, we didn't want to tell you, sorry", but if you have asked him and he won't tell you then you've got to back off now.
  10. Tanaqui

    Boys and girls

    I'm also losing track of who's who. Maybe give them all distinct fake names? IDK. But anyway, my advice still stands. Bring it up with your son as soon as possible. Try NOT to talk about how this girl, right now, is not mature enough to be in a relationship. Nothing is going to drive him to her faster than having this silly, star-crossed, "they don't understand our love" scenario in his head, and there's a very good chance that that's how it'll get filtered. Right now, your goal is simply to figure out what's going on. After you know for sure, then you can figure out what to say/do about it.
  11. Tanaqui

    He never stops moving - should I be concerned?

    Not being able to handle certain textures or sounds is a sensory problem - sensory avoidance. Those things are overstimulating and the brain can't handle it, so it freaks out and shuts down. For example, I can't have tags in my clothes. They don't just itch a little, they make my entire body hurt. If I forget to cut them out before hand, I rip them out while I'm wearing my clothes. However, it's also possible for regular sensory input to be insufficient. That's sensory seeking. If this applies to your son, then we'd say that he has a poor proprioceptive sense - he can't easily tell where he is in space. In order to compensate for that, he has to move around a lot. It's possible to have both issues in response to different stimuli or different situations. For example, I don't like tags, but I love having lots of blankets on me in winter, and even in summer I need at least a sheet to sleep. Sometimes I really like loud music, but if there's a lot of motion and chaos around me, adding loud noise puts me on the edge of screaming - I have to leave a situation like that, and fast. I always like to move around - my family is used to hearing me get up and walk around at night because I just Had a Thought and couldn't deal with it unless I was moving, and if I go to the doctor, before the doctor comes into the room I will gleefully spin around in the wheely chair if I can. (Much to my family's chronic embarrassment. Both the girls and my mother roll their eyes if it's one of THEIR appintments. I usually stop before the doctor walks in the room, anyway!) https://www.understood.org/en/learning-attention-issues/child-learning-disabilities/sensory-processing-issues/sensory-seeking-and-sensory-avoiding-what-you-need-to-know
  12. Tanaqui

    First day for my kids at public school

    I hope things go better from this day forward. It certainly sounds like an improvement.
  13. Tanaqui

    Boys and girls

    This is the same friend/aunt who told you about the marriage plans? Is she the one who told you that this young woman said it was all a mistake, or did somebody else say it? Is she still lending out her card? How did she hear about these plans? Did your son talk about it, or is it all this young woman? You say the family is dysfunctional. I'm starting to get a few different pictures in my head, and I don't like any of them. The obvious one is that this young woman is chronically dishonest. You already know she tells small lies, and at least one person has told you she has committed petty theft against her aunt. (For the record, I think the reason she was evasive about leaving early could be chalked up to "she didn't know why you were asking and felt uncomfortable". I myself never answer questions if I don't know why they're being asked, a holdover from childhood bullying. But the rest of it is not so defensible.) That, plus her lack of diploma/GED does indicate that she's not really ready for an adult step like marriage. However, it also indicates that this talk about marriage might be all in her mind. She may be talking about things the way she wants them to be rather than the way they actually are, and may on some level, even believe what she says. Another possibility is that your friend is exaggerating or lying in order to stir up trouble. I bring this up, again, not because I think this is the case - you have more information on this young woman than I do and also on her aunt - but because I feel like I'm the only one who thinks this could be the case and I don't want it to get lost in the shuffle. I can't get over the fact that she told you this "in confidence". If everything is on the up-and-up, then she should be able to own it. How could admitting that she's the one who told you "get her in trouble", and why is that a concern? What, is your son going to hide this marriage from you forever? This doesn't sound right at all. There is something really weird about all this that I just don't like. These two possibilities are not mutually exclusive. It is entirely possible that this girl IS deceitful and immature AND ALSO that her aunt is trying to stir up trouble for no good reason. If the family situation is dysfunctional, there's no reason they might not all be part of the problem. You've got to bring this up to your son, and the sooner, the better. You don't need to name names or go on about how hurt you are etc (in fact, I suggest you do not bring your feelings into this at all) you just need to say you heard this thing and you want to know if there's any truth to it.
  14. Tanaqui

    He never stops moving - should I be concerned?

    Judging from your first comment it seems you're thinking a little about ADHD. What you describe here doesn't sound like a problem to me, but you should know that people with ADHD often can focus very well on things they're interested in. This "hyperfocus" can be a problem in and of itself. By saying this I do NOT mean that your child IS hyperfocusing or has ADHD or anything like that. Again, what you describe just sounds like a child who is a bit wiggly and will likely grow out of it in time but should have more active time right now. But it's possible there's other things you didn't mention, so I thought I'd clarify that point. (Another possibility - and, again, I am not saying this IS the case, just that it is something to consider if you're worried - is that he might be sensory seeking, and have some sort of sensory disorder. That usually happens with another condition, such as ADHD or autism, but it doesn't have to.)
  15. Tanaqui

    Boys and girls

    I'm sure she's a very good friend, but this all sounds very middle school to me, and not the way adults should be acting.
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