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Tanaqui last won the day on June 9 2017

Tanaqui had the most liked content!


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  1. Assuming all you want to do is stop the conversation and not try to deprogram them? "I don't want to talk about this right now. Speaking of changing the subject...." And then immediately follow up with a new question on a totally unrelated tangent. If they keep going, say "Stop. I'm not interested". It's okay to be blunt, and it's kinder than making hints they might not understand or might ignore.
  2. Definitely a gift, preferably in some way that makes it obvious it's a gift - wrapped or with a bow. I am always reluctant to give food gifts unless I know for certain the food gift will be appreciated. So many people have so many different dietary restrictions!
  3. I feel like people dunk on Clever Hans all the time, and I just want to say something in his defense - he may not have known words or how to count, but learning to pound his foot until the nice human in front of him subtly relaxed is still pretty darn clever! Likewise, a dog who knows to hit THIS button to go out and THAT button to get water may not really be any more clever than the dog who scratches the door to go out and lifts up his water bowl and carries it to you to get water (both examples from my poodle) but it's still plenty smart, even if the dog doesn't really know the word "out" or "water".
  4. Janeway, what you *need* to do is take care of yourself. I don't know what that looks like for you, in your situation, but I know it does not look like putting on a smile and carrying on like nothing is wrong. It is okay to say "You know what? I'm not feeling it this year. Let's low-key Christmas" or "All I'll do is literally make Christmas dinner and buy a present for each kid. If anybody wants something else, they have to arrange it" or "DH, I know Christmas isn't your thing, but this year you have to make it work. If you can't do Church Christmas then you can at least handle the tree and the gifts. That's the 'for better or for worse' clause in our marriage vows". I'm gonna warn you about something else. It may not be this way for you, but it is for lots of people - you're coming up on two tough times simultaneously: the holiday season AND the one year anniversary of your loss. Many people have a lot of trouble around those two times, and for you, they're happening at the *same* time. The fact that you're already fretting about Christmas and it's only the start of August... unless that's your normal, it may be a warning sign that you're about to hit a resurgence of grief. It may be tempting to try to do ALL THE THINGS to sort of block out the grief or pretend that you're not sad or whatever rationale our brains have during these tough times. It doesn't really work like that, though. Maybe for somebody it works, but not for anybody I've ever heard of. It's better to do less and give yourself room to be sad than to try to do more with a smile only to be totally burned out by the effort.
  5. Seasider, you can get vaccinated as young as 12 now.
  6. Oh, poor baby. But it was the right call, and I'm glad that he was with people he loved.
  7. You're trying to apply logic. That's your first mistake.
  8. What a toxic attitude, "Don't make Daddy go to jail". Your child is not responsible for your poor decision making, sir.
  9. Oh, woooooow. Like, I know upthread I said that I have no qualms asking for favors at the drop of the hat (or telling people "yes" if they ask if I need help), but, like, even I can take a hint that's not even a hint. You flat out said you couldn't do it! Don't call her back about this.
  10. You get what you pay for. I wouldn't hire somebody who isn't licensed. My mother used to do that, and we got burned that way, and now I hire all the contractors for her as needed. They always come in and comment on the idiot who messed up whatever job they're fixing. It's like, yes, we know, the man was hired on the cheap.
  11. Oh, no. I hope he has a swift and complete recovery.
  12. To answer the question about the pulse ox, those are less reliable in people with darker skin.
  13. On the flipside, much too big is also a problem. And then there's other issues. Like, something that seems to come up a lot in the advice columns is oral. If one person really enjoys it and needs it to enjoy themself, and the other really hates it and just can't get over it, that might actually be a long-term dealbreaker if the two of them can't make it work. It's not just about what goes in where, it's about whether you enjoy the same things or can at least suck it up enough to sometimes do the things your partner enjoys even if they're not quite your favorite thing. And surprisingly, sometimes people can't.
  14. When I was a child and was bitten up by fire ants, my mother soaked me in a bath with baking soda. Apparently quite a lot of baking soda. I survived, and you mostly can't see the scars now unless you know where to look and are looking very closely indeed. Google suggests a paste is better, which makes sense. With that said, I'd take the kid to the ER unless it extremely swamped where you are. And even if it IS swamped, if your child starts exhibiting signs of an allergic reaction, bring him in.
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