Jump to content

Menu

Chris in VA

Members
  • Posts

    25,915
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    4

Everything posted by Chris in VA

  1. Being careful in my words We really never fought like that or really hardly at all until a major, life-changing thing happened between us. Then whooo boy, we...did. Lots of counseling. Marriage and individual (for me). You didn't ask, but I find there are usually issues that can go unresolved for years if your marital/relationship pattern is to have blow ups over "nothing" from time to time. It's like they release just enough of the pressure so that the issue "goes back down," until it rises up again. Nothing gets fixed and the issue remains underneath life, until it is triggered again. I found many of my issues stemmed from my upbringing--wasn't abused outright, nothing terribly dramatic, but it still set up some things that affected my perceptions. I am a big proponent of therapy to heal past wounds of childhood and discover patterns. "Parts" therapy was immensely helpful (tho seemed kinda silly while doing it). A person so triggered over something tiny is not fighting about the tiny thing. Your husband talked about you not respecting his opinion, and you did not even acknowledge that thought, but totally bypassed that bit of information. He was telling you what the fight was really about and you didn't catch it. I am sure you have those sorts of underlying things, too, bc we all do. I would look back at other fights and see if there is a "theme." Forgive me for bluntness and lack of brevity. I
  2. After looking and finding exactly one set remotely similar to her tastes I finally gave up and sent her a $60 Amazon certificate. I would have loved being able to scour Homegoods or TJ's, but I am overseas and it all has to get sent yesterday. No worries, though--she is sensitive to the fact I have Covid, shop online and am still emotionally recovering from my family situation as well as war. Lol...not to make it about me.
  3. Shop for dh. See if the tailor can add 2 inces to the waist of the wrong-sized pants I bought him while in the States. Decorate. Wrap everything. Order something for son #2. Clean up my room. Make cinnamon rolls, buy bacon, make some cookies. Continue recup from Covid (on Day 7 and feeling somewhat better). Things here are very subdued bc of Gaza but having Covid really put me behind, even for me.
  4. This. What if you and your hubby (speaking to the OP) went on a "getaway," and told your mom you were just going to pop in and take them out to dinner, and maybe brunch the next day? The expectation of you staying at their house will be less (because you want to...you know) even for her, and the fact that you want to make time for them during a marital getaway would sound rather nice from her perspective. Then plan a nice time for you and hubby, and squeeze your parents in on the front end. It is hard when you have difficult relatives, but you have to do what sits right with you; cutting them off, for example, obviously wouldn't work for your heart. You seem like you are, even with lots of therapy (can relate), still healing from a hurtful childhood, hurts that continued into adulthood. It is ok to do what is right for you--you can learn to tolerate some of their discomfort, even if you feel uncomfortable with it because of how you were raised.
  5. It looks similar to the trees I grew up with. We said tinsel OR garland, not both. If you are using tinsel, you need way more. No white lights if you want very retro. Colored, big-bulbed lights were the thing. Topper is perfect! I think we had one just like that. A train around the bottom would be awesome...
  6. Lol I used to stress about that, but now I smile and let them have at it...because I'm secretly thinking, "Go ahead and put them wherever; I'm just going to rearrange them after you're in bed anyway."😄
  7. Since I live in Jerusalem I'll add my two cents and recommend Palestinian food. You could do maqlouba with various salads. Back in the States we make a killer beef tenderloin. You could go British/Am and do a beef tenderloin with popovers or Yorkshire pudding and lovely sides.
  8. Hi Terabith I just popped in with my own question, and thought I'd take a stab at yours. First, my eldest is autistic, functios well in the world but can't stand conflict or too much noise. My youngest identifies nonbinary but "girl" is fine. My husband's extended fam are conservative in GA. Just saying I see some surface similarities. I might try the "we are passing through and would like to see you for an afternoon" type visit, just with parents. "On the way back" see your sister for an afternoon and dinner. Make it part of a vacation elsewhere. Or maybe you are attending a conference? Idk what you can say. Split up the drive, don't visit upon arrival (sleep first), plan a couple days elsewhere. It sucks taking a week for a two afternoon visit and minimal fun elsewhere, but it would be a way to see them, minimize trauma, and incorporate at least some fun. I think you may just need to be very honest about what your kids can handle, set some very firm boundaries, choose to focus on helping your kids have a decent time over trying not to hurt your mom... Sorry it stinks
  9. Dd requesting a 3 piece set that has a large enough flour container to hold a full bag--that's roughly 1 gallon, 18 cups. She liked the Portuguese tile look (blue, white with a bit of yellow), not clear, not too loud. Impossible? Looked at Wayfair, Amazon, Pottery Barn, Target. Arrives by Xmas would be great, under $100. Anyone got a minute to help me?
  10. That's very kind, Innisfree, to think of me. My husband and I are safe. As to ok, I'm not sure. Comparing being scared with being massacred doesn't seem quite right. We, like everyone around the world, were absolutely shocked and sickened by the violence of Hamas. I know the context and the history, and I am no lover of terrorism; no decent person wants to see such horror happen to anyone. Our eyes have mostly been on Gaza now, because our diocese has a hospital there--you may have heard of Al Ahli? Yeah, that's us. We had a diagnostic center for cancer that we were working to equip with radiation therapy--there isn't any in Gaza, and people could wait for months to get a pass to come to Israel for treatment. M.D. Anderson in Tx was working with us. We were also just beginning to set up physical therapy treatment using the model of Jerusalem's Princess Basma Centre, where Palestinian moms come with their kids and stay to learn therapeutic techniques they can do at home, since most live in the West Bank where it's hard to gain access to East Jerusalem on a regular basis. The diagnostic center was hit by the Israeli Gov't a week after the war started. 4 persons were injured and it was made unusable. An administrator (director) received a phone call from the IDF saying it was a "warning shot." Not just a general evacuation order, although that was in effect for the area (North Gaza). Two more warnings were given over the next 2 days. People were given the information and many left the grounds (the mobile ones). Then on Tuesday the hospital grounds were struck without warning. There is still debate as to what actually happened, but many who were sheltering there were killed, and extensive damage occurred (there are 7 buildings around the complex). It has been heartbreaking. Our friend, Suhaila (head admin) had stayed with a friend so she was not there. The medical diirector had his house bombed a few days before but he is also ok. Itxs weird to have a sense of connection to the chaos and destruction--my husband had just been to Gaza Oct 4 to visit the hospital. Here, we are very quiet on the Cathedral Close. We did get a few sirens. One found me taking a nap in our spare room. I have an app on my phone that tells me where rockets are either hitting or (i think it's this) where alarms are sounding. It pops up on the phone; you can tap it to open a map. We have a minute and a half to reach a shelter. I grabbed my skirt and my husband and I headed downstairs. We don't have a shelter (although there's one across the street) so we just stood in the large hall of our school, away from windows. A few seconds later, we heard 2 distinct "boom" sounds. At least one rocket landed about 2 miles from here (approx). But we are fine. Some of our community has left and some are staying. I said to dh, we are bugging out if tbe St Dept says to get out. He says his line in the sand is if Iran starts shooting rockets. I said that was a bit too late. If you"ve read this far, prayers for safety for ALL persons would be appreciated. It's a heartbreaking mess.
  11. Wow, Corraleno, gotta say your research and posts were excellent. Thank you so much for enlightening us on this situation. This sort of evidence-based posting is part of what I miss about these boards!
  12. 1. That's so frustrating! I have limited things to wear that fit, and it is one of the most annoying things ever when something is unavailable, for whatever reason. 2. Skip this part if you want, but... 50 dollars may be a lot to you (it is to me) but here is a perspective--You are worth it, it is worth it, however you want to say it, to have those pants for a month. You will have something comfortable and appropriate to wear and have peace, and be able to get on with the vacation. Order the pants. You can think of it as a charitable donation, if you want; bless someone else with them when you are done with them. 3. Not my business, but if your WLJ includes the med making you feel yucky, I would love to talk about that.
  13. Thank you! I had seen these. Similar to the ones we used. Still looking for the real deal. I may search the archives by year--I bet they are still here somewhere.
  14. Thank you, KH! I have been living in Jerusalem for almost 5 years. We are ok. Currently our family is going thru a tough time. Prayers for my second son appreciated--old issues. Pm me for more if wanted. I frequently try to share the love of WTM on the Facebook Story of the world page. Sure do miss it! Hope you are well and happy🙂
  15. This 100%. We had a horrific experience with one of our kids getting a cell phone from a "friend." We didn't find out about it for months. We didn't give phones til 15. You can only protect so much, but do the best you can. If I was rural without friends around for the summer for my kid, I would go with some big, creative, time-consuming projects instead of gaming.
  16. I can only watch after the fact, on youtube, so I didn't know. I think the top few tend to get recording contracts independently; his voice is so good, it wouldn't surprise me if he gets an offer. Nice guy, too, it seems.
  17. It was a grand event for sure, but Charles did scale it way back. 2000 "guests" vs 7-8K for Elizabeth, for example. Fun Fact...DH knew about and participated in the blessing of the anointng oil on the Mt. Of Olives. We were so proud to see our Archbishop in Jerusalem, Hosam Naoum, carry the bible in the procession, and present the anointing oil at the altar!
  18. I figure more of you are here than on k-8 curriculum. The pages had the title of the SOTW chapter across the top, with a box for an illustration and lines for writing. I think they might have been handwriting lines, not just lines. They were designed by a mom and free. I think she only did Vol 1. It wasn't Donna Young and TPT wasn't a thing yet🙂 This is for someone on the Facebook SOTW group. Thx for any help.
  19. My parents had liquor in theirs. They moved to assisted living last year and my mom was having a tough time letting go of things--we threw away a lot of half full, 40 year old liquor bottles!
  20. Does she do any outside classes now? (Not public but academic)
  21. I saw that same meme today (the one with the flow chart to determine your denomination, right?) and was wondering all day!🤣 I stepped back on the Boards today with a quick question after years away and already y'all are relevant to my life. ❤
  22. Nope. Title is close, but this came out in 2010...and is not a kids' book
×
×
  • Create New...