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Everything posted by marbel

  1. This is similar to what my kids reported when they started doing dual enrollment at our local CC. But, I think college, even CC which to many people is just an extension of high school, is different. I think in high school it is much more important to fit in, and the other students are watching and much more critical. Of course there is always the possibility that they lied about their experiences or feelings, to save face or whatever. I do remember one of my kids admitting that they forgot to put their name on the first paper they turned in in their first DE class. The instructor knew whose it was, both by process of elimination, of course, but also because she'd had experience with homeschooled kids. She was very nice about it and no harm was done. There was never any more forgetting that. But let me tell you, I spent years reminding that one to write their name on the dang paper! It just never stuck. I think it could be very different in high school. Heck, I didn't fit in at high school and I went to school from kindy on.
  2. Ya know, there is nothing wrong with wanting your kids to have their own rooms, a little more space, etc. Nothing wrong with upgrading furniture a bit. There's a line somewhere, I guess, when wealth becomes an expected thing, and delight in being able to move to a bigger space turns into the expectation that one deserves a bigger space, and then soon comes the need for more space... and then all new/better furniture... When I worked in Silicon Valley, people were all about their BMWs. Nothing wrong with owning a BMW (though at the time I drove a Pinto - what did they all think of that I wondered). But so often conversations turned to their next BMW, or the custom seats they were looking at for the current BMW, and the sound systems, and... gah, were they ever boring. But it was just their expectation that the natural progression of their lives would lead to bigger and better and more expensive/desirable things... and their kids were growing up with that. That's the kind of thing I'm thinking of.
  3. There are a couple of ways to look at this. Many people have everything they want because they are content with what they have, even if it is not much (or not as good) compared to others. That is not a bad thing. I believe the trouble comes in when every desire is satisfied immediately and without questioning. Like, upgrading to the newest model phone, car, tv, whatever, regardless of the need for the new thing.
  4. This is where I am, without the chronic illness. It is very clear to me that God brought my husband and me together, and everything fell into place with homeschooling pretty clearly. Even the decision we made which messed up our financial life was clearly the right thing to do at the time, though in retrospect it appears monumentally stupid, and appeared stupid to most people at the time. (Husband left great career as an engineer to go to seminary, was a part-time pastor for a while, 12 years later realized he is an engineer after all, and has returned to tech, though not in the way he had been before all this.) So I can be bitter about the lost income and tough years, or I can be thankful for all the good things that have come out of it, not least of which is not having my kids grow up taking affluence for granted. Several years before I even met my husband, I finished my bachelor's as a working adult going to school at night. One of my professors encouraged me to apply for a Masters/Ph.D program at another university in our area. At the time, I had a decent job, a car payment, and a regular adult life, and did not have the imagination to see what could be if I followed the grad school path. Every now and then I think about that, and how that would have completely changed the trajectory of my life. But maybe I was meant to stay in my mundane job/life, saving money which was much later used to help fund the seminary adventure. (Re: affluence - I know many wealthy people manage to bring their kids up not taking their wealth for granted, often not even knowing that they were wealthy. So please don't anyone think I am throwing shade on affluent families in any way. This is a benefit I see for my family, that's all, based on other families we knew during our fat years; this has nothing to do with anyone else and how they live.)
  5. I don't regret it really, because I don't know how things might have gone if I hadn't done it. Having kids in school can also be a lot of work, as far as I can tell from people who do it. Overall I enjoyed most of it, though the high school years were rough for me with one of my kids, who basically wouldn't do anything they didn't want to, but happily did it for an "outside" teacher. I think I can honestly say that dual enrollment saved our relationship. I did love being a stay-home mom. When my first kid was born, my husband had a great career and I was happy to be the home support. I was good at it and it was a good trade-off for me. Unfortunately, due to some decisions we made as a couple, I ended up needing to go back to work after 20+ years, and that has not gone well for me. I feel like I should be enjoying my retirement (I worked for 20 years before I had kids) but it is not happening. It is very easy for me now to say 'oh, if only I hadn't homeschooled but had kept up my career, look how much better things would be now' but I can't know that that's true. In general I try not to look back and say "if only I had done [whatever] differently." Because there is no way to know if it would have been better.
  6. Prime has become a utility for us. I'd actually like to start moving away from dependence on Amazon, but we do use it a lot for shipping and movies; I find the "standard" (not premium) music to be sufficient for my needs; one of my kids signed up for prime reading for a while and enjoyed the selection of books. For buying small electronics it can't be beat.
  7. Anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour, depending. Probably an hour is rare. Sometimes I am just running in for a quick thing, but then I end up remembering this and that, and then I check the day-old bread, and then I'll see if there is discounted meat, and if there is some specific meat discounted I might go in search of some vegetables to go with that (pork tenderloin, hmm, how about asparagus or brussels sprouts (depending on the season). If I go to Walmart it feels like about 3 hours but is likely less than 30 minutes. 😁
  8. Yes, like people asking about smoking when they hear someone has died of lung cancer. It can make people feel ashamed. I know it's human nature to want to find a way to be different from the victim ("she smoked, I don't, I'm not going to die of lung cancer like she did).
  9. This is so good I had to repeat it. I often wonder why it is so hard for some people to view their adult children as capable adults and respect their decisions as parents. Better to be a good mom than a good daughter. You are doing fine!
  10. My experience with a career counselor was not super helpful. I came across one viia a program at the public library about finding work after age 50. They gave a coupon for a discount for some personal consultations. So I went. The most helpful thing was interview clothing. I also sought help at a state-run career/employment center. That was somewhat more interesting as they had some good seminars, but ultimately not super helpful. I found I liked going to seminars and could pretend I was being productive. Also, I had had experience as a corporate trainer in the way back past, so I enjoyed critiquing their methods in my head. What I found, though, was that because of my long break from paid employment for homeschooling, they all pointed me toward tutor, substitute teacher, going back to school for credential. None of which I wanted. I was happy to have homeschooled (most of the time) but I was not going to be teaching other people's kids, end of story. (Corporate training is very different.) So, for me, it wasn't all that helpful because I could not convince them I could get out of the "teacher" box. Which seemed weird to me, but 🤷‍♂️
  11. Agreeing with others that if your son invites you, it's fine. I would not ask my kid if I could see their dorm room, because I'd expect they'd be reluctant to say no even if they didn't want me there. I'd let my college kid lead and treat them like the adult they are - assuming if they invite me in, they know it's fine with roommate, etc.
  12. Another unanimous thread! 🙂 Everything looks beautiful! Congratulations and best wishes to the sweet couple!
  13. We make it through the day as best we can. Some of us find that after a certain time of not enough sleep goes by, we melt down over the most trivial things. Tasks that might be a little bit complicated seem insurmountable. Minor problems like mislaid earbuds become a major thing, causing tears and "questing" - searching frantically for the missing thing. And yes as a matter of fact I am going to be ordering some more earbuds now, so I have spares.
  14. When I was seeing a career consultant, she said no denim in any color for any sort of office job. I think the outfit in the OP sounds fine for an office job interview. Hope it goes well!
  15. My recipe is very old, from a magazine, but I'll see if I add it to the thread today. @Pam in CT For some reason I never get around to getting filo to make something like this. That Trader Joe's product looks amazing! One of my kids is allergic to hazelnuts so I'll have to get that once she is out of the house for a while - she loves them and would have a hard time resisting. People have commented to me that it's funny I think of brie just for winter. Well, now that I think of it, stilton is a Christmas cheese, and other pungent runny cheeses are also for cold weather. Feta is a summer cheese to me. The rest I can eat anytime. 😍
  16. Love baked brie! I will try the one you posted. Not sure about the butterscotch. I might drizzle on individual pieces rather than the whole thing, to see how it tasted. Brie is so creamy and rich I am not sure it needs more richness. But it could also be awesome. We make this one every winter (to me brie is winter cheese; we start buying it for Thanksgiving and keep going till March): https://www.simplyorganic.com/recipes-by-collection/thanksgiving/thanksgiving-side-dishes/baked-brie-with-cardamom-cranberry-orange-relish I also have made one with a little apricot jam, orange, and cinnamon.
  17. I'm sorry too. I also don't understand people. I know some otherwise reasonable people who believe all the craziness about covid, vaccine, etc. I know people are inconsistent, but it blows my mind.
  18. It is not just homeschooling. So many people don't read, don't pay attention, don't listen, want all information fed to them in tiny bites and preferably repeated multiple times. I do customer service for an online bank. There is a ton of information on the website about how to open an account, how to get cash from ATMs, the fact that it is an online bank so there are no branches, how the accounts work. Yet people will call and pretty much want me to read the site to them. So many times a day I so want to say "is an online bank right for you?" but of course I cannot. People will call after they have opened an account and ask where the (for example) Phoenix branch is. There is no branch in Phoenix, nor anywhere else, which would have been clear to you if you had read anything on the site. Or they will ask if they can open the account over the phone and when I point them to the place online to go, want me to stay on the phone with them while they fill out the online application, just in case...
  19. Aw, I'm sorry. That's hard. I ate lunch alone (with a book) throughout much of high school. I just did not seem to click with anyone so I stayed by myself. One error I believe I made was not joining any organized groups/clubs. When my kids went to college (I know, different situation, but also similar) I encouraged joining stuff. My shy awkward one was determined to stop being shy and awkward, so joined a ton of clubs and activities after a month or two of loneliness. And it worked. (Not all of them stuck, but that was OK.) (I'm not implying your son is shy and/or awkward.) Are there any clubs of even minor interest to him? Maybe that is something you can ask about in a casual way? Hugs to you and him. I know the feeling of being lonely at school. 💓
  20. I'm really sorry Scarlett.
  21. Sure, I remember drug stores with soda fountains or lunch counters. Woolworth's was mentioned - we used to shop there and they did have a counter, but I don't remember if they actually had a pharmacy. It was a while ago and I was pretty young. Yep, exactly. My husband's grandfather was a pharmacist, and at his store (so I'm told) you could get your prescription filled and get a chicken salad sandwich and various ice cream/soda drinks. ETA: The closest thing I can think of now is a Target that has a pharmacy, and also a snack bar area and/or Starbucks. But the soda fountains I remember were just right in the store, not a separate area.
  22. I hope all is well, Scarlet. 💓 Or as well as it can be under the apparent circumstances.
  23. Getting out and hiking during the cool months full of fall color. I live in SE Pennsylvania, and it has taken me a while to fully realize how beautiful it is here. (We went through some hard years of no money and no time, and some other stuff that just kept us from really exploring when we moved here). Fall season can be so fleeting - it sometimes seems as though it goes from 90 degrees F to 19 in a day. Of course it's not true, but that's how it feels. This year I plan to enjoy it, with my people living at home and by myself. (My husband and I do not necessarily work the same days/hours, and adults kids are in and out.) That's it, other than managing the day to day!
  24. I am not the person you're quoting but we also use consumer cellular. We've (family of 4) had them for at least 15 years now and have never bought our phones from them. (Maybe the monthly fees are lower if the phone comes from them? They've never had a phone any of us wanted)
  25. Yeah I am really wondering what he was thinking. Maybe he has a strong preference for another variety? He wants to make a pie and your apples are not good pie apples? He's unaware of the thousands of apples you already have? There just must be something more to this story. I am pretty sure if he had taken them back to the store they would have had to throw them away. I think the food bank is a good option if they will take unpackaged food.
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