There is also the problem of people feeling coerced to give. If the boss sets up the fundraiser, people may worry that their lack of giving will reflect badly on them - even if it's stated as being completely voluntary.

This is the first hit I got in searching for popcorn ceiling removal: https://www.swcleanair.gov/docs/misc/asbestos_popcorn_ceiling.pdf This is not a simple task to do after work one day.

I would have it tested for asbestos by an independent testing lab (not a contractor who might want to remove it for you). Or, treat it like asbestos anyway and follow procedures for safe removal. I don't remember exactly, but you have to get it wet so no fibers float around. Wear a respirator. I think there's more but you can look it up.

I've not yet read The Old Curiosity Shop but have it on my list. I love Dickens and have not read enough of him. But I do tend to slide over unpleasant stereotypes in books/authors that are old but still worthwhile. I haven't noticed anything like that in Barnaby Rudge. There is a character who would be considered intellectually disabled; that character is not portrayed negatively by the author but is mistreated by other characters (I don't think that's a spoiler!). The main thrust of the story is anti-Catholic riots in London - something I had never heard of before. But as always with Dickens, there is plenty of other stuff going on. I give less grace to contemporary authors, who should know better (and who would potentially profit by my buying the book or even getting it from the library - even though by a miniscule amount.)

Well, we don't have a dining room, but in our living room we have a buffet and a corner china cabinet with shelves behind glass on the top, and shelves behind doors on the bottom.

I used to, when the kids were little. Now, no. One year my husband and I cut out bunches of construction paper hearts in various sizes and wrote a word or phrase on each - yes, just like the little heart candies, but more personalized for our kids. We hung them up all over the place, including hanging from crepe paper outside their bedroom doors so when they got up and opened their door to come out, there was a curtain of valentines. That was fun.

Well, sure businesses want people to spend more money! 😎 This seems to me a good thing. I don't it was this way when I had a wedding registry. We also had a mix of prices. For things like china, silverware (not silver, stainless) and other things that came in sets, we did not expect people to buy the entire set necessarily. We ended up with 6 places settings of our china, from I think 3 or 4 different people. So, yes, service for 12 would have been a big purchase, but service for one or two was pretty manageable.

The only thing I do regularly is milk kefir; I occasionally do yogurt but my last few batches didn't work out well despite my following the same process and using the same brand/type of yogurt as starter, so I've quit that for now. I am interested in trying other things so maybe this thread will inspire me.

I've struggled with feelings of being an outsider most of my life. Being shy and introverted makes it hard for me to reach out. I did hit my stride when I was a working adult, and had lots of friends, some very close. Then I got married, had a child, and moved to another state, and those sort of fell away. (Pre-email and texting - who had time to write letters or talk on the phone?) After a couple of lonely years I found good friends at kids' playgroups and at church. That was like the golden age of friendships for my whole family. Four or five families getting together at one or another's home, sharing food and laughter while the kids played. When I see scenes like that in a move/tv/commercial, it makes me cry a little. Then, another move which was supposed to be temporary - 3 years - so we didn't really invest in getting to know a lot of people (we've now been here 16 years). Also, our area is a bit weird compared to different from other places I've lived. People here are very stable; on my street 3 houses are occupied by one extended family. Someone bought grandma's house, another sibling bought the house down the street, that sort of thing. Kids go to the same high school their grandparents went to. This is pretty common in my area. Families are large, and all the kids have loads of cousins. People here don't need more friends! They are born into a big social group. We again found a group through our church but then, as I mentioned in another thread, there was some weirdness and we had to leave. (Nothing scandalous but a very long story.) There was no reason for people to drop us, but everyone disappeared when we left, even though we still lived in the same place. Anyway, we have had trouble finding a new church so haven't been able to build any new relationships. I went back to work for a few years, but I didn't really fit in with my coworkers, and in any case in 2020 we went 100% remote and there would be no socializing. My husband has work friends but they don't socialize outside of stopping for a beer at the end of the day sometimes. So I didn't mean to turn this into a sob story but that's my answer to the question. I'm not actually sure I answered it though! Friendships can just be hard at times.

I've had friends, and not had friends, at different times in my life. There are so many things that cause friendships to happen/not to happen. Or to stick. Being shy, I made no friends in college. It probably didn't help that I commuted from my parents' home and never got fully involved in campus life. My closest friendships when I was single/childless were with people I met at work. I mean, I had lots of "work friends" but some very close relationships grew out of that time. Later, in a different state and when I had small children, I had close friends from various mom's and, later, homeschooling groups. Now, in yet another state... I had good friends (I thought) at church, but after some... issues... and having to leave, I find all those friends are gone. And, having a hard time finding a new church, I am pretty much without local friends, even casual ones. Fortunately I have a good online friendship network. I am sorry you are going through all this. I've not commented because I don't have enough knowledge of your situation to give advice. Also I know you are under great constraints and can't necessarily do what even you think is best.

You all do such good work! I mess around with cross stitch and knitting - I only knit rectangles and I make a lot of mistakes, but it keeps me in dishcloths. If I finish my current cross stitch, I'll try to figure out how to post a photo. Just really came in to say wow to all you crafty people!

Aw, I'm sorry you had a bad experience. One of my kids has a pretty severe insect phobia and routinely calls on someone for help removing one. We try to get the beneficial ones (spiders mostly) outside when possible. I think a lot of people have been told to "get over it" with regard to insect and similar phobias. Your coworker may have been trained so in her own youth and is just carrying that on. Obviously I'm just speculating. I don't think either of you are jerks. It was a bad moment. I hope you can both move beyond it.

Since the person receiving the texts is posting them online for laughs, they clearly aren't worried that it's phishing. I'd probably not think of it the first time it happened, but when it came around the next year, yeah, I'd text back to let them know.

I don't know. I think these kinds of books can be helpful to some people, and not for others. I was trying to find a bigger sample that that offered on the Amazon page but couldn't find much, even on the publisher's site. And, looking over that site, it looks so much like many other flashy-looking evangelical Christian resources that *for me* end up being no help at all. It is harder to forgive ourselves than to forgive others. It certainly will do you no harm to work through the book (well, unless it is theologically incorrect). Though as I'm thinking about this, I realize it actually may be theologically incorrect to think we need to forgive ourselves, as only God can do that. Sorry, I am sure this is no help at all. I'll leave it for possible jumping-off posts.

Yes to this. Are you (OP) afraid that your husband won't approve of your honest and authentic self? (Obviously you can ignore the question if it's too personal. It does seem within the bounds of the conversation, but maybe not.)

So, maybe instead of just saying "no" and going into reasons you can't do something, maybe just say "thanks, I'll think about that." I mean, if you are into this for actual conversation, why not start a positive thread, such as "look at this beautiful art piece my sister made with buttons" and invite people to share there own similar stories. Because what you are doing appears to be asking for assistance and then knocking down every idea people send your way.

OK. I was not trying to imply you are not good at anything. It was just the way you rejected all the ideas people were giving you for ways to pass your time that yes, made me feel a bit sad because I saw a bit of my younger self in your post.

It's OK to just say no. "Thank you for thinking of me, but no, I'm not able to take on that commitment/assignment[whatever sounds best]." I would not give an explanation about your beliefs. That's likely to cause confusion and possibly intrusive questions. When a better opportunity for serving presents itself, you can sign up. Till then, you don't have to explain yourself.

This makes me so sad. Please try to stop comparing yourself unfavorably to others. Your perfectionism is not healthy. Maybe you actually don't like doing any handcrafts - of course it's not for everyone - but maybe if you just let yourself try something without the expectation of doing it perfectly, you'd enjoy yourself a little more. Find some pleasure in something simple. My older sister is a very talented seamstress. She sewed all her prom dresses, and later ball gowns for a cruise she went on. When her kids were little, she made elaborate halloween costumes for them, and all her daughters' dresses. Now in retirement she makes gorgeous quilts which she donates to a veteran's organization. Whereas I sewed a jumper* in high school, a few simple skirts and doll clothes for my daughter, and fiddle around with quilting but haven't managed anything bigger than a placemat. I knit dishcloths full of mistakes but I enjoy the process and it keeps my hands busy when I watch tv with my husband. And, I have a useful, if not beautiful, object at the end. Really, when was the last time you tried any of these things you say you can't do? 20 years ago? More? Why are you so afraid to try? Is it more fulfilling to ask for ideas and then reject them all? *in the US, a sleeveless dress that is worn over a blouse (not to assume ignorance but I know it's a different garment in other places).

When I recently worked for a bank, people rarely ordered checks for personal use. Only older people who were used to them would ask for them. Once a young customer called for assistance with a dilemma. Her landlord would not accept electronic payments of any kind. He wanted a check handed to him. How could she do this? She considered ordering a cashier's check each month which had a cost of $5-6 each (I can't remember exactly). I said we could send her a book of personal checks for free. She was amazed! She had never heard of such a thing! I was like her best friend after that. To me it was the most simple logical solution but to this 30ish-year-old, it was astonishing. That book of checks will probably last her the rest of her life. (I wrote one check last year, for taxes.)

Or another Bronte, or Elizabeth Gaskell, George Eliot, Agatha Christie... And at least you can accept all these suggestions of craft and other ideas for your next trip if things are not accessible to you right now. And maybe use some of your time googling for products and fun/beautiful video games. Someone gave my daughter a small diamond painting kit for Christmas. She found it quite addictive and the end result - an ornament - is pretty.) I like counted cross-stitch (and other forms of embroidery); it's easy and can be very portable if I have enough light! Knitting and crochet are very portable. Cross-stitching while listening to an audiobook - heaven on earth for me. And thanks @Rosie_0801 for the book suggestion (Mr Hogarth's Will)!

At least a check can be deposited via the bank's mobile app. But no, direct deposit is the way to go!

I've got a few going this month: Barnaby Rudge (Dickens), mostly on audio but sometimes I pick up the book instead. The audio is narrated by Sean Barrett. This is a new Dickens for me, and a new narrator. I love it and wish I had more time to listen. Les Miserables, translated by Christine Donougher. Probably my third time through the book, maybe 4th, but new to me translator. Love it as always. Enchantment (Katherine May). I'm only 3 chapters in but am kind of tiring of it. I'll continue on for a bit. An exchange she had with her son really put me off. She was trying (desperately) to get him to engage with nature in the way she wanted him to. At one point he said "Sometimes I feel like my mind is growing branches." "Yes!" she says "I know that feeling exactly!" (Does she really?) But then he goes on and says "And every time you talk to me, you cut one of them off." Crushing! This is such a problem of parenting, I think. I'm sure that in my efforts to engage my kids, I've cut off some of their branches. So, kind of odd - it seems that this sort of exchange would resonate with me as a parent, but instead it just annoyed me. Also just dipping into Tiny Habits by B J Fogg.

I had actually edited my post but you got to it too quickly. Here is what I added: I thought you were saying you can't build habits because of your various changes in environments. But if you have no control over your time/schedule in many of those environments, then I am not sure what the problem is anymore. If the real problem is the habit of coming here, you have been given some ideas on how to break that, all of which you have refuted as impossible for you to do.

Then I guess you don't need to build habits when you are in those areas? Sorry, I am losing the plot here. I thought you were saying you can't build habits because of your various changes in environments. But if you have no control over your time/schedule in many of those environments, then I am not sure what the problem is anymore. If the real problem is the habit of coming here, you have been given some ideas on how to break that, all of which you have refuted as impossible for you to do.