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About marbel

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee

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    Suburban Philadelphia
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    reading, cooking, sewing

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  1. This sounds great, but my experience with a person very much like OP's SIL, subtle explanations are pointless. The person trying to give the explanation just ends up frustrated because their words go nowhere and do nothing. There are many lessons to be had by OP's kids here, and it's OK if they see their parents giving grace to their aunt (by paying for the cookies) one time. It doesn't mean that they'll never understand how businesses work. (I also think that OP's kids could easily sell the cookies if that's how she wants to do it.)
  2. I get this whole post, so completely. I have a sibling like this. So much weirdness about money, undependable to meet financial obligations, but then extravagant in some weird ways. Eat the cost (if not the cookies) this time, and don't do it again. Tell your daughter she's got the right idea. Seriously, she sounds like a smart one and sweet too.
  3. Agreed. What works for me, works for me because there is mutual respect. But if (paraphrasing an example another poster used above) I wanted to go out and said "does this work for you?" and my husband said no because he wanted to change into PJs and hang out...well, that wouldn't work more than once. If that sort of thing was happening, I probably would resort to having the car keys ready and saying 'buh-bye!' as he walked in the door from work.
  4. I agree with this, about 90%. But I do think it is wrong for anyone, husband or wife or whatever, to make assumptions about another person's availability. So, when I was a stay home mom, I would never assume on a given night it would work for me to walk out the door with no notice beforehand. I would expect the same from him: if he was not traveling, I would expect him home at his normal time, not two hours later because he decided to go out for a few drinks with coworkers (or whatever). I would expect him not to go out after dinner without checking in with me first. So how it worked for me: I would say "I need to get away from the kids; I want to go out tonight; does that work for you?" Now, he would pretty much always say yes, but if he had a meeting or had to catch up on some work from his job that night, he was free to say no but always with a 'rain check' - "sorry, I have to do x tonight, how about tomorrow?" And I would go the next day - even if I didn't feel like I needed it by then, I would go! Note that I was not asking permission to go out. I didn't need permission. But I did respect his time; in turn, he respected mine. That may have taken a heart-to-heart talk or three. I honestly don't remember. I do remember a feeling of mutual respect about time, for the most part.
  5. The two men who brought me around to liking man buns were seminary students I went to church with. Pretty conservative church, fwiw. They had the overall look that went with it, and they were great young men - godly, smart, thoughtful, good role models. I was a little sad when one of them cut his hair into a more conventional style. Not that it was any of my business!
  6. Could you maybe point out the thread/posts that this is a reaction to? Or if they are not on this board, some background? Context would be helpful! I also gritted my teeth when out with a mom and she or someone else would say that "dad is babysitting." No, dads don't babysit their own children But I am not sure this is what the OP is about?
  7. Is Mr Singh offended by the comment, or are others saying it's offensive? Sorry if that was obvious from the OP; I didn't pick it up if so. When someone's appearance is unusual for the occasion or venue (or area, or population, whatever), it's probably going to be commented upon. The bright yellow turban does bring a crocus to mind. A black turban wouldn't generate any commentary.
  8. Yes, thanks Heart. I had heard of this movie and wasn't worried about the rating, but it's nice to know why it was given the R.
  9. This is what I was thinking. Some people just don't have the right look to go with a piercing. That's just opinion, of course. But to me a pierced ear on, say, a kid who dresses "preppy" just looks odd. Just like a nose piercing on a middle-aged woman wearing very conservative clothing looks odd to me. I would look ridiculous with a nose piercing! It looks like they're trying too hard to be cool. (I don't judge people's character by this and I don't think less of them. it's just a reaction to the look.) That said, I guess I would not refuse to let my male kid pierce his ear(s) since I let my female kid pierce hers. But I would not encourage it due to potential employment limitations, though actually I am not sure if that's a deal-breaker for most professions anymore.
  10. Looks like the yesses overtake the noes. But what's really interesting is the number that say "DH says yes." So that makes me wonder... is Blue Brothers a "guy movie?" I don't think of it as one. Winner of the thread is WendyAndMilo: Thanks for playing! LOL
  11. Our kids are authorized buyers on one of our credit cards. We did that a few years ago. It's very convenient for all of us; they buy things that I will pay for (gas, groceries, medical and dental appointments that have to be paid at the time of the visit) and things they want that they pay me back for (online purchases of clothes, etc). Since I get the bills and all the transaction alerts, I see little risk. Generally if one of them is going to buy something unusual they tell me ahead of time. They pay me when I present them the bill. But, our to-do list includes them getting their own cards before they leave for college in the fall, probably a secured card from our credit union. I don't like buying stuff using a debit card. It's harder to dispute debit card fraud and takes longer to get the funds back. The few times we've had fraud on a credit card, the bank caught it before we did, the charge disappeared, and we had new cards the next day. My kids grew up knowing that credit cards aren't fun money and are to be paid off every month; of course they may deviate from that when they are on their own, but plenty of kids who never had a credit card as a teen go crazy when they get one for the first time. (I was one of them.)
  12. Hey, this was supposed to be a poll. I had a terrible time setting it up, and when I hit submit nothing happened, so I walked away thinking it hadn't posted. Then I came back, and here it is! My little family believes it is, and it is a huge favorite here, but a sibling of mine reacted very strongly when were were talking about musicals and I said that the only one I like is Blues Brothers. "What? That's not a musical!" So, I thought I'd ask others.
  13. Is "The Blues Brothers" movie a musical or not?
  14. I think it's safe to say that dairy, probably like most other foods, affects different people in different ways. My husband and son solved their post-nasal drip and sinus infection problems with sinus surgery and frequent saline sinus rinses. One drinks milk, the other does not. Lots of people see a reduction in acne when they go off milk. My acne kid did not. One of my kids has weird reactions to some forms of milk/whey but not others. Whey protein powder = bad, but whey drained from homemade yogurt and used as part of the liquid when I bake bread = good. Milk as a beverage gives me heartburn! I know all that's not related to the topic at hand but my point is, I just think dairy products are complicated. As others have said, there's no reason not to eliminate the stuff to see if things change. But be aware of other changes that might be affecting it too.
  15. That's a bummer. But do you not have a craft or fabric store you could go to? (Joann Fabrics, Michael's, or similar?)
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