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About marbel

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    Hive Mind Queen Bee

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    Suburban Philadelphia
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    reading, cooking, sewing

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  1. We didn't smash cake, and were in agreement about it - we didn't have to tell each other not to do it. I would have been shocked if he'd wanted to do it, and honestly it might have made me think differently about him. I can't say that I agree or disagree that it can lead to divorce. But, in my own experience, the couples I've seen that smashed cake were on the immature side, and I wouldn't have wanted to put money on their marriage lasting. One woman who smashed cake at her wedding also had to have assistance in getting her near-passed-out-drunk groom to the hotel room at the end of the reception. They eventually divorced. That's the only one I really remember, though, because it was so remarkable to me. What a bad start to a marriage!
  2. I've never noticed this, or checked, but someone told me that most Aldi products have the bar codes on all sides (or maybe multiple sides) so they are quicker to scan. The checkers at Aldi are super fast, much faster than anyone else I've seen, but also... there is nothing at Aldi that doesn't have a bar code. "Regular" grocery stores, and Walmarts with grocery departments, have produce and bakery goods sold by weight or quantity. Those can take time. When I buy red bell peppers at the regular grocery store, I have to choose between 3 different items: conventional, organic, hothouse. They don't all have a sticker with a number on it to enter, so I have to take time to find the actual item. It doesn't take long, but whenever there are choices to be made and/or buttons to be pushed, it's going to slow people down.
  3. I don't have anything on the wall, and it annoys me. I would like a large, beautiful world map.
  4. marbel


    I honestly would have welcomed the opportunity to start practical training of alcohol consumption with my kid before age 21. In my state it's illegal for a parent to serve a teen/20 year old alcohol even in the home/under parental supervision. I think the "cliff" problem HomeAgain mentions above is a real problem, and one reason some kids go crazy drinking once they can obtain it through friends or legally at 21. We have a line of alcoholism in our family (my kids' grandfather, uncle, and a much-older cousin who has been sober since his late 30s). My kids have always known this and they have always seen their dad and me drink responsibly (glass or two of wine, or a single beer enjoyed during dinner at home; occasionally a cocktail; no one getting drunk; no one drinking and then driving). So I'd be expressing my concerns about the underage college drinking to my daughter, but I would also be happy for her to have alcohol where it is legal for her to do so. When my daughter was 19 we traveled to a state where alcohol consumption under parental supervision is OK at age 18 and she tasted my wine. When we got home, no more tasting. (Some people would scoff at us for following the law within our own home; what's the harm of a sip of wine at the dinner table? But I didn't want to teach my kids that it's OK to ignore some laws because we think they're stupid.)
  5. I have never seen a self-checkout with a belt, at Walmart or anywhere else. There is just a place to set a shopping basket (though I almost always have a cart), then the scanner, then the place with the racks (they are not really racks, I guess) of shopping bags, seems like usually space for 4-5 bags, maybe? I put my own bags there, start scanning, and put my stuff in the bags as I go. All the stores i go to are this way. When my daughter is with me, she hands me things to scan and it goes so quickly! And I put things in the bags the way I want them. One bag for frozen things, one for meat, etc. The only somewhat annoying thing I come across is that the scanner at one chain shouts out the names of items that are not scanned, but found by the "search by name" feature. "Put your... BAGELS... in the bagging area." "Put your... BANANAS... in the bagging area. But it's really not that annoying; it cracks my girl and me up every time. Sure, we are easily entertained. At my Walmart, the staffed checkout lines are so inconvenient for using my own bags. They have the rounders of their store bags and no place to put my reusables. It ends up very awkward and clumsy. So I avoid the staffed checkout. Actually I avoid Walmart as much as possible...
  6. The closest thing I've seen to an usher in a movie theater is someone picking up trash between movies. It's really not that hard to ask someone to move. "Oh, excuse me, we have tickets for those seats." And the people get up and move. Maybe not always happily, but they will move. Because their tickets have seat numbers too (unless it's a weird situation like the OP's).
  7. I just remember that I did this recently! I was with some family members in a city they had once lived in, and we had to go by all the houses. If I was in my hometown I would probably do the same. When my family members did it, we stayed there too long for my comfort, and worse, they took photos which I think was creepy. But I could see driving by, stopping for a bit, pointing out which rooms were behind the windows, etc.
  8. We liked the National Constitution Center a lot. Also just like walking around that part of the city, checking out the old buildings. The Independence Visitor's Center was interesting too. I've never been to Independence Hall but my kids went on scout trips or something... neither of them, including my history lover, thought it was all that interesting. We also thought standing in a long line to see the Liberty Bell was a waste of time. Eastern State Penitentiary is super fascinating and in some places, eerily beautiful. If you like the abandoned building esthetic, LOL. Seriously, we loved it. More than the Constitution Center, actually. Reading Terminal Market is super fun but very crowded at lunchtime and closes early (6pm IIRC, but you should check) so don't plan on a later dinner. ETA: I'ts been quite a few years since we've been there, but I think your kids are too old to really enjoy the Franklin Institute. Just in case you were sad that you couldn't go.
  9. I am a very shy, awkward introvert who doesn't like talking to people I don't know. (Actually I'm not sure being introverted has anything to do with it.) Still, in a situation with assigned/reserved seats, I have never had a problem telling people they are in the wrong seat. People are not surprised to be asked to move, because either they made a mistake when sitting down or they knew they took a risk sitting in a seat assigned to someone else. I've also sat in the wrong seats, and have had to move when asked. I have apologized and gone to find my correct seat. It's really not a big deal at all. (There is always the possibility that someone will get nasty about it but I wouldn't go into it expecting that to be the default.)
  10. I've never been to a move theater that had reserved seats, but almost all live theater I've attended has had reserved seats, and people sit in their assigned spot. Of course if I get to my assigned seat and someone is in it, I have to ask them to move - I can't just go sit in someone else's seat. But people have always been gracious about moving, because they recognize they are in the wrong seat. There's no reason to be annoyed with someone for wanting to sit in the seat they chose. I don't know why it would be any different in a movie theater with assigned seats. The problem really is having some assigned and some not assigned, as others have said, unless there are separate sections for assigned and general seating. ETA in my experience at baseball parks, it's the same way. Even if the stadium is not full, people sit in their assigned seat, or graciously move if the 'owner' of the seat appears later in the game. But there is also a general admission section where people can sit whereever they like, no assigned seats. That is a very casual atmosphere and people move around a lot (there's not an expectation of quiet and stillness) but still people don't expect to sit in someone else's seat.
  11. My son would never* take a job like that. My daughter, sure. But not the boy whose favorite place in the world is... home. *Hyperbole, no doubt. Who knows what will happen after college, or 10 years after that...
  12. That video is hilarious! I sent it to my family.
  13. marbel


    There was a person in my life that I hated because of things he did to people I loved. Over time I started feeling sorry for him, then when he was out of all our lives, I mostly forgot about him. I can't muster up hatred for public figures. Hate to me is just such a strong word. I take it as "I would rather you were dead." Probably should add, I have not suffered horribly at the hands of another person. I have been mistreated but not to the level that I could hate the person.
  14. This. Huge red flag! And, someone else said - he's telling her he's lying to his parents, how does she know he's not lying to her? He's proven himself a liar, and afraid of his parents. I don't think I could excuse that with "oh, well, that's his culture." He lives in your daughter's culture now, and says he plans to stay. How does she know he is telling her the truth about that? Marriage is a risk no matter what, right? There is always the chance someone will change their mind about something, and the unexpected can always happen. But when you add different cultural expectations to the mix, it can be complicated. imagine in 10 years this young man's father dies, and he is called to go home to care for his mother. And he feels obligated to do so because, yeah, he's still afraid to upset his parents.
  15. Adult items - toys, massage oils, clothing.... I've been to a few. Gah, people can be so vulgar. And those were female-only parties. I declined the invitation my husband and I received for a co-ed one.
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