Would you go on this trip?

[Calizzy]

Dh’s company has announced that they are taking all senior level employees on a retreat next year to Israel. This is a 10 day Holy Land tour. The trip is free for dh and 50% off for spouses. Personally, I don’t love to travel. Flying, busses, hotels, it makes me a cranky old lady. Also, my 4 children will be 15, 12,  10, and 7. And I really HATE leaving them. I’m probably codependent or something, but in 16 years of marriage dh and I have taken 1 vacation alone. So my natural reaction is “No thanks,” but I wonder if in the long run I will regret not going. Seeing the Biblical sites seems like a once in a lifetime opportunity. Thoughts?

[Shoeless]

I would want to go, but I love travel. 

If you really don't want to go, could the 15 yo go instead? It would be an amazing experience!

[Catwoman]

Is there any way you can bring the kids along with you?

[Grace Hopper]

My first thought is what business is your dh in that the travel is ten days to the Holy Land?

Personally I would try to go. You’ve been given lots of time to make arrangements for the kids and to secure a passport. But only you know your own comfort levels. 

[Ausmumof3]

I would go in a heartbeat but I love travel (I do get cranky but I still love it) and that would be a dream trip for me. 

[catz]

I would definitely go.  I don't know if I would want to take all 4 kids on that particular trip at those ages.  Maybe the oldest 2.  

But everyone is different.  

[Calizzy]

Kids can’t come. We would be traveling with his colleagues and spouses. 

[SKL]

Yes and I would bring all the kids.

[SKL]

Oh wait, kids can’t come?  We’ll then maybe I would skip it and go as a family sometime.

[Loowit]

I would go.  I would have fun.  I would make sure my kids were with people I trusted, and not worry about them.

DH and I took very few trips away from the kids when they were young, but it was worth it.  It was healthy for all of us to have a break.  I think my kids had just as good a time staying with grandparents as we did getting away.

[mathnerd]

1 minute ago, Calizzy said:

Kids can’t come. We would be traveling with his colleagues and spouses. 

I would not go leaving behind 4 kids to the care of someone else while I have a good time enjoying a vacation. I have never asked anyone, including my family for such favors and I won’t be comfortable leaving them to fend for themselves. What I would do is look into taking such a trip as a family at another time.

[Arcadia]

7 minutes ago, Calizzy said:

Kids can’t come. We would be traveling with his colleagues and spouses. 

Then we won’t be going. All my my husband’s employers past and present allow spouse and children on business trips but spouse isn’t subsidized. 

[Katy]

I would go assuming someone I trust would take care of the kids. 

[Grace Hopper]

If you have trustworthy people who can watch the kids, don’t let that be an issue. Unless you are independently wealthy and can afford to pay full price for every family member for the same type of trip, you will likely never again have the opportunity to do such a thing (spouse free and your cost half price, that’s a tremendous deal). 
 

If you cannot bear to leave the kids for less than two weeks (which is a perfectly reasonable thing to do if you have people you trust), then the suggestion someone made to send the 15yo in your place is a good one, if the company would allow that. 
 

Also, you haven’t mentioned what your dh thinks about it. 

Edited May 24, 2022 by Grace Hopper

[Grace Hopper]

7 minutes ago, Arcadia said:

Then we won’t be going. All my my husband’s employers past and present allow spouse and children on business trips but spouse isn’t subsidized. 

And on my dh’s company trips back in the day, spouses were fully covered but children were often not allowed. Having minors along can really make travel arrangements difficult when you’re talking about a corporate group. 

[prairiewindmomma]

Nope, I wouldn't go.

Traveling with dh's work colleagues would not be my first pick for a rare vacation together...especially if you don't like travel. 

 

[scholastica]

Do it. This is a huge opportunity!

[Brittany1116]

Go!

[BlsdMama]

I’d go in a heartbeat. 

[shawthorne44]

Yes, Yes, Yes.    Absolutely.   

I'd missed out on a work trip to Israel.   The company I used to work for had a sale in Israel.   With these sales, one of two engineers went along for installation.   I did the US and another did everywhere else.   They turned down the sale because the other didn't want to go to there because he 'felt unsafe.'   I suspect anti-semitism.     They were shocked when I was upset and I said I would have gone.   So the travel borders became I did the US and everywhere the other person didn't want to go.  They let us tack on vacation time to these trips.   

[Rosie_0801]

Me? With kids that age, absolutely! And that's without any religious reasons driving me.

You? Not if you hate travel. Being cranky and miserable isn't really a once in a lifetime opportunity, is it? It happens to me a lot. lol

[vonfirmath]

1 hour ago, Calizzy said:

Dh’s company has announced that they are taking all senior level employees on a retreat next year to Israel. This is a 10 day Holy Land tour. The trip is free for dh and 50% off for spouses. Personally, I don’t love to travel. Flying, busses, hotels, it makes me a cranky old lady. Also, my 4 children will be 15, 12,  10, and 7. And I really HATE leaving them. I’m probably codependent or something, but in 16 years of marriage dh and I have taken 1 vacation alone. So my natural reaction is “No thanks,” but I wonder if in the long run I will regret not going. Seeing the Biblical sites seems like a once in a lifetime opportunity. Thoughts?

I'd find a way to go. Israel is a bucket list trip for me

 

[JustEm]

I would take that opportunity in a heartbeat. But I enjoy travel, even when I get cranky, and have no problem traveling without the kids. We do plenty of things together as a family so adult only trips are always welcomed

[bolt.]

I would absolutely take the opportunity! Even with your feelings of travel-crankiness, with all of the arrangements made by the group, I think you might probably be able to relax and enjoy even the busses/planes etc.

Of your kids, only the 7yo really requires "care" -- the others only require supervision and feeding. If you have a trusted family member, friend, or even an au-pair or babysitter that could be arranged to stay with them the whole time, I'd consider the decision made. Childcare really is the only hurdle in my mind.

[importswim]

Yes, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

[Spryte]

27 minutes ago, Rosie_0801 said:

Me? With kids that age, absolutely! And that's without any religious reasons driving me.

You? Not if you hate travel. Being cranky and miserable isn't really a once in a lifetime opportunity, is it? It happens to me a lot. lol

This.

 

[MercyA]

If your natural first reaction is "no thanks," maybe this trip is not for you.

I would not leave a 7-year-old or probably even a 10-year-old with someone else for 10 days, partly because it would be a huge imposition on them and partly because my child would have hated it. 

My two cents. 🙂 

Edited May 24, 2022 by MercyA

[rebcoola]

I don't love travel especially but I would go.  It would be a likely once in a lifetime situation for us.  I also have friends and family where watching kids for a week or 2 is not uncommon. 

[WildflowerMom]

I wouldn't with kids that age.  Ten days would be far too long for me to be away from them.  

[Junie]

I would go in a heartbeat if someone in my family could watch the kids.

My dh and I went to Hawaii and left a 6, 4, and 2 with my mom for a week.  My mom loved taking care of the kids and we had a fantastic trip.

I know people who have travelled to Israel and they all loved the trip and hope to go again.

[Heatherwith4]

 Personally I wouldn’t.  

[Hilltopmom]

I would not cause kids at home and covid still likely to be in play.

plus traveling with my husbands co workers and their spouses doesn’t sound fun 

Edited May 25, 2022 by Hilltopmom

[wintermom]

I went on one trip with my husband when our 4 kids were a little younger than yours. He was going to Paris for work, and I came along. While he worked during the day, I walked all around Paris visiting churches, museums, parks and shops. It was amazing, and it was really worth it for dh and I. We found wonderful friends to watch the dc and they enjoyed the week. This trip was around our 15th anniversary, and I have so many fond memories of it. 

You have some time to think about this and talk it over with your dh, I assume. Come to a decision as a couple. A strong, happy marriage is the foundation of a family. If your dh would really like you to join him, it could well be worth it. Your dc will survive. You will survive, and probably have some really nice memories. 

[Arcadia]

2 hours ago, Grace Hopper said:

And on my dh’s company trips back in the day, spouses were fully covered but children were often not allowed. Having minors along can really make travel arrangements difficult when you’re talking about a corporate group. 

It was just business meetings and conferences together. Evenings and weekends were for families to tour the area and have fun. The company just make travel arrangements for the employees. The employee would take care of travel arrangements for their spouse and kids. For conferences, they would actually have family events as well.

13 minutes ago, Hilltopmom said:

I would not cause kids at home and covid still likely to be in play.

plus traveling with my husbands co workers and their spouses doesn’t sound fun 

The co-workers and spouses part is what I would rather avoid, even though I am an extrovert. Makes me feel like I have to be on my best behavior.

A trip with my husband only and having trusted relatives or friends babysitting my kids is different. Even though I won’t want to impose on my “babysitters” for so many days.

[kristin0713]

I would want to, but would have a hard time leaving the kids. I have not left mine very much, either. It sounds like you have too many reservations to go and enjoy it. It may seem like the opportunity of a lifetime but if you really want to go later in life, you could probably find a way to make it happen. 

[Starr]

A tour will cut out some of the decisions about travel that can make one crazy. We all have cell phones now so keeping in touch with your kids is really easy. You can send pictures back and forth all day long if you want to.  I never left mine much because we didn't have anyone to leave them with but this sounds very doable. 

[Terabith]

I would go, if I had someone with whom I felt comfortable leaving my kids.  When my kids were that age, I would have been very comfortable leaving them with my in laws, and my kids would have felt comfortable there, and the in laws would have been fine having them.  

Any younger than the youngest, I probably would not have felt comfortable though.  

[lynn]

I would go. 

[Amethyst]

I wouldn't. Ten days? Egads. That's a long time. You don't like flying, buses, and hotels? I wouldn't want to do it, and I at least like hotels. Bus rides day after day? No thank you!  But I'm not a huge traveler either. The Holy Land doesn't really appeal to me. I'd rather go to Germany. Or Paris. But Israel? I'd skip it. 

[Janeway]

I do not like traveling at all. But I would go.

[SKL]

It also depends on what they are going to do as a group in Israel.  Personally I did not enjoy most of what my big firm colleagues considered fun - with or without spouses.  It could be summed up as mostly drinking, eating steak, and conversations I didn't enjoy.  When sober the talk was about wines, when drunk it somehow always went back to scenes in American Pie.  The one time I traveled overseas for a company training, I spent almost the entire time walking alone outside, or sitting alone in my hotel room, enjoying European coffee with hot milk.

So I'd ask for the itinerary for both employees and spouses.  Maybe it would be fun, maybe not.

(As for leaving 4 kids ... I have nobody I could leave mine with for that long.  If I did, I might do it for a great trip.  But I'd still rather travel with my kids.  Even before kids, when traveling, I used to picture myself returning to the destination and sharing it all with my kids someday.)

Edited May 25, 2022 by SKL

[Calizzy]

Within the group of colleagues there are enough people that I like that I don’t think it would be a problem. A bigger issue is the kids. Some might remember, I posted a few months ago about my step dad letting my 13 yo drive a car in my residential neighborhood. We’ve written them off for unsupervised babysitting. I think I’d have to hire someone.

[Annie G]

With kids that age, yes. Also, if you don’t enjoy travel, would you  enjoy it better if someone else did much of the planning and reserving? (Dh would!).  When Dd and SIL travel, we often team up with other grandparents or friends to stay w the kids. We’ll take a few days, a friend will take a couple, then the other grands will swoop in for the last days. 
‘But really, I’d want  to talk to dh to see how it’s playing out. If you are one of the few spouses not going, is he doing to feel awkward at things not having ‘a person’ to hang with? Or are just a few spouses going and he’d be fine hanging with the group without spouses attending? 

[Scarlett]

3 hours ago, Calizzy said:

Dh’s company has announced that they are taking all senior level employees on a retreat next year to Israel. This is a 10 day Holy Land tour. The trip is free for dh and 50% off for spouses. Personally, I don’t love to travel. Flying, busses, hotels, it makes me a cranky old lady. Also, my 4 children will be 15, 12,  10, and 7. And I really HATE leaving them. I’m probably codependent or something, but in 16 years of marriage dh and I have taken 1 vacation alone. So my natural reaction is “No thanks,” but I wonder if in the long run I will regret not going. Seeing the Biblical sites seems like a once in a lifetime opportunity. Thoughts?

What does your husband think? 

[Lecka]

You have got a lot of time to find someone to hire and get kids comfortable with that person.  I think it’s possible.

However I personally wouldn’t go.  It just doesn’t appeal to me at all.  I don’t like to travel for the most part.  When I do travel I don’t like to have to follow a schedule.  I like to be in my own bed at night.

I have really enjoyed some weekends away with my husband, though.  
 

My husband is also very ready to be back home after two nights away from home.  
 

 

[Farrar]

I adore travel and I might not do it. But I don't have a religious reason driving me. And my first reaction was to traveling with your dh's colleagues. I immediately imagined having to take a 10 day trip with my dh's work folks. I think I'd probably get him fired.

If it's the kids that you're stuck on though... they'd be fine. Seriously. It's less than two weeks.

[Catwoman]

38 minutes ago, Calizzy said:

Within the group of colleagues there are enough people that I like that I don’t think it would be a problem. A bigger issue is the kids. Some might remember, I posted a few months ago about my step dad letting my 13 yo drive a car in my residential neighborhood. We’ve written them off for unsupervised babysitting. I think I’d have to hire someone.

I remember that. It's another reason I wouldn't go.

But I would never have left my son alone for that long a time with a paid sitter, either -- particularly a new one -- and he was just one very well-behaved kid. With multiple kids? There is no way I would be comfortable with it. (But I wouldn't have gone without my son, anyway, so you may want to ignore me completely! 😉 )

[itsheresomewhere]

For me- nope.  I wouldn’t leave my kids that long.  But even with the kids, we wouldn’t go.  Too much of a chance to me of having the borders/planes/uncertainty right now.  I would hate to get stuck somewhere for awhile in a place that was not my home.  Maybe in a few years when things are stable for awhile. 

[mommyoffive]

I think you have to know yourself and what you like.  You saying you don't like to travel, I would sway a big no on this.  

I have no religious pull to go to Israel.  I love travel.  We have never left our kids and have nobody to leave them with.  I think for me this would probably be a no.  I don't know if I enjoy group travel and traveling with dh's work associates, I don't think I would want to do that really.

 

[happi duck]

I wouldn't go because it would feel like endorsing Israel.