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scholastica

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About scholastica

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  1. Watching Hoarders does that to me.
  2. Once they are out of college, they may want to start again. You might hold off on that. That stuff gets expensive!
  3. You can’t change the fact that it came in and now it’s going out, you’re trying to do better in the present and the future. Cut yourself some slack. You’re doing great to give yourself and those you love a lovely environment to live in. Guilt over the past is a waste of time, especially if you’ve resolved to make changes and are making good on those.
  4. I’m more concerned about what makes you think that you haven’t forgiven. Forgiveness is simply giving up the right to exact punishment for wrongs done. It doesn’t disregard that wrong was done and not have emotions about that. It also doesn’t mean continuing to let the person wrong you. If that’s going on, then you have the right to distance yourself if you are unable to say to yourself “That’s not true about me or my situation.” And let it go. It’s ok to put mom in a care home or hire help and visit for as long as you can stand it. That’s what my dad did. Is she returning to behaviors that are harmful to you and your siblings? Or is just being around her bringing stuff back to the surface? Those are two different situations. End of life does bring stuff to the surface for those in decline and their loved ones. If she hasn’t worked out her issues, this will be a difficult time for her. She is likely experiencing a lot of fear, and when we’re scared, we’re not always our best selves. We tend to revert to survival mode and what got us through our hard times. You are such a lovely person and I have a hard time believing you are an unforgiving person. Big hugs to you as you work through all this.
  5. Congratulations! Still praying for sil.
  6. If you’re going to cook it again, I wouldn’t worry about it. If it smelled or tasted off, I would pitch it.
  7. Catholic ladies don't have what? Bearing each other's burdens, gathering together? Of course we have that. And yes, there is getting to know one another going on before and after Mass to a greater or lesser degree depending on the day and the person. Name tags would be untenable at my parish. We are large and there would be no way to get name tags to people in any kind of orderly fashion. We have 7 Masses on a weekend. Mass is communal worship. We also have small groups, scripture studies, ministries to the poor, sick, elderly, etc. all kinds of places where people get to know each other more intimately and from there comes the sharing of burdens, etc. Yes, there are Name Tags there, but Mass is different.
  8. If you were covered by an employer-based plan and went to another employer-based plan, pre-existing conditions were covered., as long as the coverage hadn’t lapsed. If the employee did not take COBRA, that counted as a lapse.
  9. We no longer have individual deductibles. It is only family.
  10. I'm sorry this seems to all be true for you and your family. We, too, now have a large deductible on top of huge premiums. Combined, they are 20% of our pre-tax income. Some of our providers no longer take any insurance or are not in-network. So, on top of that, we are paying OOP for things that used to be covered.
  11. If they are denying the blood draw, you would owe either way. A lot of insurance companies no longer cover in-house blood draws and patients have to go to freestanding labs. Your dh may need to get a standing order with Labcorp or Quest for his blood draws.
  12. Another thought. Did they go to self-insurance? That might change some of the possibilities for the structure of the plan. Definitely start with the Summary of Benefits and then get a copy of the full contract.
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